Considering Elite NE Boarding Schools for Son (Taft, Choate, Hotchkiss, Deerfield, etc.) Any advice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm OP. We have family members on the board of several of these schools and he's also a recruited athlete with coaches' interest at several of them.

Assuming any of this is true (and it's probably not), way to out yourself with the family members on the board comment.

There are many board members at these schools (often 30+) with plenty of extended family. That doesn’t even include administrators’ extended family. Those connections don’t go as far as outsiders think.

Regarding athletics, these schools generally recruit for hockey in large numbers then a trickle for other contact sports. Occasionally squash. It’s not as big a hook as the coaches make it out to be (unless you play hockey or are a future NESCAC QB)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As always, this board is very unhelpful when it comes to boarding schools. There is a very good, moderated boarding school board at college confidential that has been very helpful.

College Confidential is utterly a pain to use because of that SkiEurope mod. He just keeps shutting down conversations and threads after every mild rules violation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A friend of mine has a recent Deerfield grad. My friend is from a very wealthy and privileged background and has raised her kids similarly. She’s from the Northeast and well acquainted with private school and boarding school culture. And even she was disgusted by the blatant wealth at Deerfield and how it really guided who ruled the school.

This tends to be more true for girls than boys. Girls tend to status rank based on having access to designer brands, etc. If you have a son, he likely will be fine because he's an athlete. Strong athletes will have always have friends in male social circles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm considering sending my kid to one of these schools. We know we can get our child in through connections. He's very smart, scores in the 95th percentile on the standardized exams. Does anyone have any experience at Taft, Choate, Hotchkiss, Deerfield, Loomis? Are they as rigorous as the top DC schools? How do they impact college admissions?

Really? Only 95th percentile?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm considering sending my kid to one of these schools. We know we can get our child in through connections. He's very smart, scores in the 95th percentile on the standardized exams. Does anyone have any experience at Taft, Choate, Hotchkiss, Deerfield, Loomis? Are they as rigorous as the top DC schools? How do they impact college admissions?

Really? Only 95th percentile?

Idk if you’re joking but you’re right. It’s good but not a hook. Admissions won’t be floored.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A friend of mine has a recent Deerfield grad. My friend is from a very wealthy and privileged background and has raised her kids similarly. She’s from the Northeast and well acquainted with private school and boarding school culture. And even she was disgusted by the blatant wealth at Deerfield and how it really guided who ruled the school.

Speaking from our own experience, this is true at other boarding schools as well. The level of entitlement is high. But no different, perhaps, than what you see in DMV. That said, there is no getting away from it at end of school day when you are at boarding school. It really depends on your kid and whether they can roll into this elitist environment. My advice, which seems do obvious, is don’t go to one of these schools thinking it gives you leg up on college admittance. Everyone is thinking that and not everyone in class will get to top ranked universities. Do it only if you want the experience for your kid and s/he would be happy at any college. Also, athletics at these schools is intense. Your kid may be “recruited” but ends up middle of pack. Nothing wrong with that but slow down expectations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A friend of mine has a recent Deerfield grad. My friend is from a very wealthy and privileged background and has raised her kids similarly. She’s from the Northeast and well acquainted with private school and boarding school culture. And even she was disgusted by the blatant wealth at Deerfield and how it really guided who ruled the school.

Speaking from our own experience, this is true at other boarding schools as well. The level of entitlement is high. But no different, perhaps, than what you see in DMV. That said, there is no getting away from it at end of school day when you are at boarding school. It really depends on your kid and whether they can roll into this elitist environment. My advice, which seems do obvious, is don’t go to one of these schools thinking it gives you leg up on college admittance. Everyone is thinking that and not everyone in class will get to top ranked universities. Do it only if you want the experience for your kid and s/he would be happy at any college. Also, athletics at these schools is intense. Your kid may be “recruited” but ends up middle of pack. Nothing wrong with that but slow down expectations.

FWIW Among many of the boarding schools,DMV kids are quietly regarded as being elitist.

If comfortable in a privileged, elitist environment, then consider Choate & Hotchkiss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As always, this board is very unhelpful when it comes to boarding schools. There is a very good, moderated boarding school board at college confidential that has been very helpful.

Many are bitter they can’t afford the tuition and feel threatened by boarding school seniors taking their public and private day school children’s college slots.

It can't be that...Exeter and Deerfield have some of the most generous FA of any school, including every college. At Deerfield, you don't pay any more than 10% of your income. I don't think any college as an example would give FA to a family making $500k, yet Deerfield caps you at $50k tuition.

Even though they are generous with FA, it is still a large expense for upper middle class families. They’re not giving up an annual ski or beach vacation for boarding school unless they really prize education. They’d rather send them to MoCo schools.

NP. Illogical conclusion. Does not boost your attempt to argue that you got a superior education at your boarding school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As always, this board is very unhelpful when it comes to boarding schools. There is a very good, moderated boarding school board at college confidential that has been very helpful.

Many are bitter they can’t afford the tuition and feel threatened by boarding school seniors taking their public and private day school children’s college slots.

It can't be that...Exeter and Deerfield have some of the most generous FA of any school, including every college. At Deerfield, you don't pay any more than 10% of your income. I don't think any college as an example would give FA to a family making $500k, yet Deerfield caps you at $50k tuition.

Even though they are generous with FA, it is still a large expense for upper middle class families. They’re not giving up an annual ski or beach vacation for boarding school unless they really prize education. They’d rather send them to MoCo schools.

NP. Illogical conclusion. Does not boost your attempt to argue that you got a superior education at your boarding school.

Parents making 250k in the DMV don’t send their children to boarding school. Students from the DMV have rich parents or are from the inner city and use pipeline programs. People making 250k don’t get enough aid to avoid making sacrifices they don’t view as worth it. Enjoy Walt Whitman!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A friend of mine has a recent Deerfield grad. My friend is from a very wealthy and privileged background and has raised her kids similarly. She’s from the Northeast and well acquainted with private school and boarding school culture. And even she was disgusted by the blatant wealth at Deerfield and how it really guided who ruled the school.

Speaking from our own experience, this is true at other boarding schools as well. The level of entitlement is high. But no different, perhaps, than what you see in DMV. That said, there is no getting away from it at end of school day when you are at boarding school. It really depends on your kid and whether they can roll into this elitist environment. My advice, which seems do obvious, is don’t go to one of these schools thinking it gives you leg up on college admittance. Everyone is thinking that and not everyone in class will get to top ranked universities. Do it only if you want the experience for your kid and s/he would be happy at any college. Also, athletics at these schools is intense. Your kid may be “recruited” but ends up middle of pack. Nothing wrong with that but slow down expectations.

This. Whatever downside a day school has, a teenager can escape every day in the afternoon and evening in the comfort of home or outside activities.

Athletics depend on the school. Many don’t allow specialization and will hamper college recruiting. You’re not allowed to play tennis or soccer year round, which will hurt skill development.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As always, this board is very unhelpful when it comes to boarding schools. There is a very good, moderated boarding school board at college confidential that has been very helpful.

Many are bitter they can’t afford the tuition and feel threatened by boarding school seniors taking their public and private day school children’s college slots.

It can't be that...Exeter and Deerfield have some of the most generous FA of any school, including every college. At Deerfield, you don't pay any more than 10% of your income. I don't think any college as an example would give FA to a family making $500k, yet Deerfield caps you at $50k tuition.

Even though they are generous with FA, it is still a large expense for upper middle class families. They’re not giving up an annual ski or beach vacation for boarding school unless they really prize education. They’d rather send them to MoCo schools.

NP. Illogical conclusion. Does not boost your attempt to argue that you got a superior education at your boarding school.

Parents making 250k in the DMV don’t send their children to boarding school. Students from the DMV have rich parents or are from the inner city and use pipeline programs. People making 250k don’t get enough aid to avoid making sacrifices they don’t view as worth it. Enjoy Walt Whitman!

This doesn’t make much sense. Again, it would only cost them $25k to send them to these top boarding schools if accepted.

I bet any family considering private or boarding school at that income would be ecstatic to know that they could attend Andover for probably much less than any DMV private school.

I literally know a DC family probably around that income sending their kid to a boarding school because it ended up as such a good deal for them. That said…the kid was the one pushing to explore boarding schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm OP. We have family members on the board of several of these schools and he's also a recruited athlete with coaches' interest at several of them.

Assuming any of this is true (and it's probably not), way to out yourself with the family members on the board comment.

There are many board members at these schools (often 30+) with plenty of extended family. That doesn’t even include administrators’ extended family. Those connections don’t go as far as outsiders think.

How many families have members who are simultaneously on boards at several of the same schools that OP mentioned?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As always, this board is very unhelpful when it comes to boarding schools. There is a very good, moderated boarding school board at college confidential that has been very helpful.

Many are bitter they can’t afford the tuition and feel threatened by boarding school seniors taking their public and private day school children’s college slots.

It can't be that...Exeter and Deerfield have some of the most generous FA of any school, including every college. At Deerfield, you don't pay any more than 10% of your income. I don't think any college as an example would give FA to a family making $500k, yet Deerfield caps you at $50k tuition.

Even though they are generous with FA, it is still a large expense for upper middle class families. They’re not giving up an annual ski or beach vacation for boarding school unless they really prize education. They’d rather send them to MoCo schools.

NP. Illogical conclusion. Does not boost your attempt to argue that you got a superior education at your boarding school.

Parents making 250k in the DMV don’t send their children to boarding school. Students from the DMV have rich parents or are from the inner city and use pipeline programs. People making 250k don’t get enough aid to avoid making sacrifices they don’t view as worth it. Enjoy Walt Whitman!

This doesn’t make much sense. Again, it would only cost them $25k to send them to these top boarding schools if accepted.

I bet any family considering private or boarding school at that income would be ecstatic to know that they could attend Andover for probably much less than any DMV private school.

I literally know a DC family probably around that income sending their kid to a boarding school because it ended up as such a good deal for them. That said…the kid was the one pushing to explore boarding schools.

“Only cost 25k” say goodbye to both your trips to Park City and Hilton Head. There’s a reason not many families making 150-500k go to boarding school, and it’s not only a question of having family on the board like OP. 25k is an enormous sacrifice for them and they probably wouldn’t go to st albans or GDS either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm OP. We have family members on the board of several of these schools and he's also a recruited athlete with coaches' interest at several of them.

Assuming any of this is true (and it's probably not), way to out yourself with the family members on the board comment.

There are many board members at these schools (often 30+) with plenty of extended family. That doesn’t even include administrators’ extended family. Those connections don’t go as far as outsiders think.

How many families have members who are simultaneously on boards at several of the same schools that OP mentioned?

You’d be surprised. At least half a dozen, if not more if you go to second cousin level.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As always, this board is very unhelpful when it comes to boarding schools. There is a very good, moderated boarding school board at college confidential that has been very helpful.

Many are bitter they can’t afford the tuition and feel threatened by boarding school seniors taking their public and private day school children’s college slots.

It can't be that...Exeter and Deerfield have some of the most generous FA of any school, including every college. At Deerfield, you don't pay any more than 10% of your income. I don't think any college as an example would give FA to a family making $500k, yet Deerfield caps you at $50k tuition.

Even though they are generous with FA, it is still a large expense for upper middle class families. They’re not giving up an annual ski or beach vacation for boarding school unless they really prize education. They’d rather send them to MoCo schools.

NP. Illogical conclusion. Does not boost your attempt to argue that you got a superior education at your boarding school.

Parents making 250k in the DMV don’t send their children to boarding school. Students from the DMV have rich parents or are from the inner city and use pipeline programs. People making 250k don’t get enough aid to avoid making sacrifices they don’t view as worth it. Enjoy Walt Whitman!

This doesn’t make much sense. Again, it would only cost them $25k to send them to these top boarding schools if accepted.

I bet any family considering private or boarding school at that income would be ecstatic to know that they could attend Andover for probably much less than any DMV private school.

I literally know a DC family probably around that income sending their kid to a boarding school because it ended up as such a good deal for them. That said…the kid was the one pushing to explore boarding schools.

“Only cost 25k” say goodbye to both your trips to Park City and Hilton Head. There’s a reason not many families making 150-500k go to boarding school, and it’s not only a question of having family on the board like OP. 25k is an enormous sacrifice for them and they probably wouldn’t go to st albans or GDS either.

There are plenty of families at STA or GDS that make like $250k. I think many do get aid…especially if they have more than one kid.

Deerfield claims that 60% of their students are on significant aid though they are exceedingly generous.

I doubt the school is 60% dirt poor and 40% filthy rich. I am sure there are plenty of families in the 60% that are $150k (it’s free at $150k) to $500k.