Advice to your younger soccer parent self

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those who have kids who have gone on to play in college, those who have leaned back and enjoyed club, those who have always had a 2nd or 3rd, rec or lower team kid, what advice would you give to your U8-U10 self to better parent this journey?

Switch to another sport like golf, swimming or tennis

[Anonymous]

Advice I would give my younger self:

1. Have fun and enjoy the memories that you will have with your son.

2. No matter the time of day, time of year, weather, or location (indoors or outdoors), always make sure to put on sunblock. Very Important for the kids, but is even more important for the parents.

3. Make sure to find a team at a young age with a good coach, nice kids, and whose parents you enjoying spending time with. Please refer to rule #1.

4. Find a team who has kids and parents that want to play as much as your kid. Pickup games, after practice, on holidays or whenever there is a free night or weekend, are important and they should include kids and parents. Please refer to rule #1.

5. Find the shade. On every field there is shade somewhere, even if it is the shadow of a light post. Find the shade and watch the game from there. PS. Buy a very large umbrella as this can be used to create and maintain shade. And also functions to repel rain.

6. Don’t talk about soccer with non-soccer parents. They just won’t understand what you are going through.

7. Don’t make getting a scholarship a goal. If a scholarship is the goal, have your son play the tuba. 80% of tuba players get scholarships compared to 3% of soccer players.

8. Enjoy it while it lasts as someday travel soccer will end. If they learn to enjoy the game, they will want to play and push themselves. They may play in college or professionally or maybe they will just play on weekends with their friends. But if you did it right, you and your son will have great memories and have made some great friends along the way.

[Anonymous]

Keep your mouth shut on the sidelines. Always.

That’s pretty much it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree with the talent will show itself comment. It’s not talent. Kids as young as 5 have private trainers and are working out, ima professional gym, for agility and strength. Trust me.
Talent is built by parents who have money, time, and awareness that this can be the ticket for a college, at least on the girls side.
My DD LOVES soccer. Lives with a ball at her feet. Dying to play in college. I didn’t know any of this stuff and it’s simply too late in 9th grade.

I have seen all kinds of kids with amazing skills but are slow or small or weak or all of the above. Recruited athletes need ball sense, speed, strength, size and skills. You can’t train speed.

Most of the kids who trained from an early age also aren’t going to play in college.

Slow small and weak with amazing skills
What skills?

Need strength and size to carry training equipment?

Who plays in college, kids who start training at 16?

Who plays in college? Usually it’s the big, strong, tall fast kids (girls and boys) who have three big brothers who played soccer constantly in the back yard. Usually at least one parent played in college or pro.

Their talent gets noticed in elementary or middle school and they get put in top teams. It’s the training in the backyard on top of the athleticism that does it.

[Anonymous]

The fact that you all think formal training with a trainer should start at 5 is exactly what is wrong with soccer in the US. Try playing barefoot in the backyard instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:ADHD and soccer don’t work. That’s what I learned.
My child can’t learn soccer (and my other child who was also diagnosed, isn’t hyperactive but has another specific type of adhd). Meds for evening practice isn’t the priority either.

I coached as well. My worst parent experience was sadly for a completely off the rails adhd child. Like actively kicking our scrimmage ball FAR FAR away.

In addition, I had a young team 2 years ago and it boggles my mind. Almost every kid was unfocused. The best player at that age, technically and team-wise was a very smart Indian child.

Disagree. DS is ADHD and plays at the highest boys level. Takes extra work and the boy needs to be driven, but it absolutely did not stop my son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those who have kids who have gone on to play in college, those who have leaned back and enjoyed club, those who have always had a 2nd or 3rd, rec or lower team kid, what advice would you give to your U8-U10 self to better parent this journey?

Let them play a ton of soccer with their friends, pickup games and backyard. Maybe get them some private training here and there. If you see they have a knack for it, I would do regular private training starting at u12 or so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree with the talent will show itself comment. It’s not talent. Kids as young as 5 have private trainers and are working out, ima professional gym, for agility and strength. Trust me.
Talent is built by parents who have money, time, and awareness that this can be the ticket for a college, at least on the girls side.
My DD LOVES soccer. Lives with a ball at her feet. Dying to play in college. I didn’t know any of this stuff and it’s simply too late in 9th grade.

The tragedy is for all these early adopters, most eventually wash out anyway. This route is no guarantee, either, although perhaps the discipline and focus from these experiences can be re-routed to another activity. In fact, here's another example of where talent shows itself as those who realize they are in over their head or get burned out walk away.

So kids should start taking it seriously late?

I almost think this type of thinking is designed to discourage anyone who doesn't do this/help justify those who are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree with the talent will show itself comment. It’s not talent. Kids as young as 5 have private trainers and are working out, ima professional gym, for agility and strength. Trust me.
Talent is built by parents who have money, time, and awareness that this can be the ticket for a college, at least on the girls side.
My DD LOVES soccer. Lives with a ball at her feet. Dying to play in college. I didn’t know any of this stuff and it’s simply too late in 9th grade.

I have seen all kinds of kids with amazing skills but are slow or small or weak or all of the above. Recruited athletes need ball sense, speed, strength, size and skills. You can’t train speed.

Most of the kids who trained from an early age also aren’t going to play in college.

Slow small and weak with amazing skills
What skills?

Need strength and size to carry training equipment?

Who plays in college, kids who start training at 16?

Who plays in college? Usually it’s the big, strong, tall fast kids (girls and boys) who have three big brothers who played soccer constantly in the back yard. Usually at least one parent played in college or pro.

Their talent gets noticed in elementary or middle school and they get put in top teams. It’s the training in the backyard on top of the athleticism that does it.

You have an active imagination

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those who have kids who have gone on to play in college, those who have leaned back and enjoyed club, those who have always had a 2nd or 3rd, rec or lower team kid, what advice would you give to your U8-U10 self to better parent this journey?

Let them play a ton of soccer with their friends, pickup games and backyard. Maybe get them some private training here and there. If you see they have a knack for it, I would do regular private training starting at u12 or so.

What is the goal of this approach?

[Anonymous]

I think all this back and forth about what is best probably shows that parents/adults can’t truly engineer a great sports career as much as they want to believe it’s somehow in their control. It’s only something parents of kids who “made it” can look back on and feel like the way they did it was the “right” way. I don’t think you’re going to know if you’re doing it the “wrong” way for your kid until you are looking back on things much later. The answer is different for different kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Keep your mouth shut on the sidelines. Always.

That’s pretty much it.

One season I was the rec “practice coach”
No one could sign up as coach, and I could for weekday practices but not for games (had another player AND a work conflict occasionally on weekends).
Another parent signed up to be the head coach, and was only available for weekend games. Not for practice.

So, I actually knew the kids, their names, their personalities and skills. It was awkward bc they needed sidelines coaching, and the head coach wasn’t doing it at all. Without that help, the boys were lost as well as getting crushed. I wasn’t allowed coaches side… so I coached as best I could from the side. Again, the head coach didn’t even know names!!

It made for some awkward sidelines. I’m sure the parents or grandparents, or other team, who didn’t know thought I was INSANE for how much talking and direct coaching I was doing.

[Anonymous]

Just know going in that it runs its own course and the chances it’s landing your family some big scholarship to some great college are very very low. The families who were so committed to it for college sacrificed a ton and I am not sure for what - the kids are committing to colleges w 80 percent acceptance rates. The ones who looked promising early often flamed out or got injured or simply aren’t big enough for college soccer. So a lotta eggs for one basket. And lacrosse is less competition at college level if that’s all you’re in it for.

[Anonymous]

We’ve hit the end of our travel journey at u19. Here’s my advice.

Follow your kid’s lead. Make sure it’s fun. Make sure the coach and team environment is a good fit for your player (note that coach and team fit are very individual). Some coaches will recognize your player’s gifts and some will not. Find the coach who appreciates them. Be quiet on the sidelines. If you don’t have something positive to say, don’t open your mouth. Don’t criticize the GK. Unless your child is a GK or you were, you likely have no clue about their role (even many coaches have no clue). Along those lines, if your kid wants to be a GK, make sure they are mentally tough as it’s a lot of pressure. And don’t let them specialize too soon as GKs need to be good with their feet. Don’t expect your players trajectory to be a straight line. Some kids look amazing at younger ages but quit or don’t keep developing. Some late bloomers end up making it to top teams (we know a kid who was on the 4th team when young but is playing D1 soccer). Don’t chase the alphabet soup of leagues if it doesn’t work for you. Kids can and are recruited outside MLS Next, ECNL and GA. Those can help with exposure but a strong player outside these leagues can market themselves and get offers. Know that very few kids will play in college and most who do will play D2 and D3. Let them play soccer for the sake of playing soccer without an agenda. If you have a boy, it’s a much more competitive road for college roster spots than for girls and it’s not remotely the same as even 3 years ago. Even if somehow your kid beats the odds and plays D1, you will spend more on travel soccer than the athletic scholarship (D3 has no athletic money).

Enjoy the journey! It goes fast!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’ve hit the end of our travel journey at u19. Here’s my advice.

Follow your kid’s lead. Make sure it’s fun. Make sure the coach and team environment is a good fit for your player (note that coach and team fit are very individual). Some coaches will recognize your player’s gifts and some will not. Find the coach who appreciates them. Be quiet on the sidelines. If you don’t have something positive to say, don’t open your mouth. Don’t criticize the GK. Unless your child is a GK or you were, you likely have no clue about their role (even many coaches have no clue). Along those lines, if your kid wants to be a GK, make sure they are mentally tough as it’s a lot of pressure. And don’t let them specialize too soon as GKs need to be good with their feet. Don’t expect your players trajectory to be a straight line. Some kids look amazing at younger ages but quit or don’t keep developing. Some late bloomers end up making it to top teams (we know a kid who was on the 4th team when young but is playing D1 soccer). Don’t chase the alphabet soup of leagues if it doesn’t work for you. Kids can and are recruited outside MLS Next, ECNL and GA. Those can help with exposure but a strong player outside these leagues can market themselves and get offers. Know that very few kids will play in college and most who do will play D2 and D3. Let them play soccer for the sake of playing soccer without an agenda. If you have a boy, it’s a much more competitive road for college roster spots than for girls and it’s not remotely the same as even 3 years ago. Even if somehow your kid beats the odds and plays D1, you will spend more on travel soccer than the athletic scholarship (D3 has no athletic money).

Enjoy the journey! It goes fast!

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