Daycare sickness dilemma

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:With my daughter who was in daycare, she was sick every 2-3 weeks. Like clockwork. Ear infections, flu, hand food and mouth, RSV (twice - so bad it gave her asthma), pneumonia, stomach viruses, roseola, double ear infections. It was the worst few years of my life. I was pumping and she wouldn’t take bottles at daycare or would eat very little and then nurse all night, so I was sleep deprived and depressed being back at work (had to go back at 16 weeks and was not ready, physically or emotionally). The infant room was not quiet or dark like at home so she couldn’t nap there. She came home miserable and exhausted. The workers would send us pictures of her during the day and her eyes looked dead inside. It made me cry sometimes, she just hated it and we could tell. One day I picked her up and a complete stranger was holding her and feeding her and it made me feel like the worst mother in the world. It was terrifying to leave her with a rotating cast of staff who I knew little of, even at an accredited, well reviewed, licensed center that we had been on a waitlist for a year for a slot for (before I got pregnant) and that we had picked after touring 8 other centers, some of which were downright miserable places.

With the illnesses, DH and I fought frequently over who would stay home with her, because both of us had demanding in-person jobs and no family support. The time off caused strain with coworkers who hated picking up the slack and tension with our bosses. It became a huge issue in our marriage and a huge family stressor. Who will take her to the doctor this time, clean up the diarrhea all over the bed, the vomit all over the sheets, force the antibiotics in her that she will fight you on taking, etc. It was all so extremely hard, but it’s what we could afford at the time. I feel strongly that starting her in a center at 16 weeks was a terrible decision for her health and immune system.

We eventually switched to a home daycare (another waitlist we had been on but didn’t get into initially) but her immune system was so battered that she was still constantly ill. It continued through early elementary but we would get sometimes 3-4 weeks in between the illnesses.

With our second child, we knew we would do whatever we could to keep them out of daycare. I stayed home much longer, and then we used a nanny. We paid through the teeth for a very mediocre nanny, but keeping the second kid out of daycare for 3 years was worth every penny, because his illnesses were less frequent and she could come care for him when he was mildly ill. It picked up in preschool, but was still nowhere near the awful experience with our daughter.

I know daycare works for some, but it was awful for our family and speaking honestly, I 10/10 do not recommend to anyone. It’s awful what we ask working families and babies to do for the sake of capitalism.

Do not have kids then..

It is not a requirement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With my daughter who was in daycare, she was sick every 2-3 weeks. Like clockwork. Ear infections, flu, hand food and mouth, RSV (twice - so bad it gave her asthma), pneumonia, stomach viruses, roseola, double ear infections. It was the worst few years of my life. I was pumping and she wouldn’t take bottles at daycare or would eat very little and then nurse all night, so I was sleep deprived and depressed being back at work (had to go back at 16 weeks and was not ready, physically or emotionally). The infant room was not quiet or dark like at home so she couldn’t nap there. She came home miserable and exhausted. The workers would send us pictures of her during the day and her eyes looked dead inside. It made me cry sometimes, she just hated it and we could tell. One day I picked her up and a complete stranger was holding her and feeding her and it made me feel like the worst mother in the world. It was terrifying to leave her with a rotating cast of staff who I knew little of, even at an accredited, well reviewed, licensed center that we had been on a waitlist for a year for a slot for (before I got pregnant) and that we had picked after touring 8 other centers, some of which were downright miserable places.

With the illnesses, DH and I fought frequently over who would stay home with her, because both of us had demanding in-person jobs and no family support. The time off caused strain with coworkers who hated picking up the slack and tension with our bosses. It became a huge issue in our marriage and a huge family stressor. Who will take her to the doctor this time, clean up the diarrhea all over the bed, the vomit all over the sheets, force the antibiotics in her that she will fight you on taking, etc. It was all so extremely hard, but it’s what we could afford at the time. I feel strongly that starting her in a center at 16 weeks was a terrible decision for her health and immune system.

We eventually switched to a home daycare (another waitlist we had been on but didn’t get into initially) but her immune system was so battered that she was still constantly ill. It continued through early elementary but we would get sometimes 3-4 weeks in between the illnesses.

With our second child, we knew we would do whatever we could to keep them out of daycare. I stayed home much longer, and then we used a nanny. We paid through the teeth for a very mediocre nanny, but keeping the second kid out of daycare for 3 years was worth every penny, because his illnesses were less frequent and she could come care for him when he was mildly ill. It picked up in preschool, but was still nowhere near the awful experience with our daughter.

I know daycare works for some, but it was awful for our family and speaking honestly, I 10/10 do not recommend to anyone. It’s awful what we ask working families and babies to do for the sake of capitalism.

Do not have kids then..

It is not a requirement.

Bizarre that people think this has to be a part of childhood but think I'm crazy for having my 3 year old wear a mask.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just wanted to say that daycare has been great for us. Babies get sick in every childcare situation. A lot of kids who don’t go to daycare young just get everything in preschool and kindergarten. There’s no right or wrong way but daycare is great for a lot of families.

I really think this is a lie that daycare parents tells themselves. It's not the same. Older kids don't put absolutely everything in their mouths. Older kids know to aim when puking, can blow their noses, and are hardier when sick. Bigger kids can put themselves back to sleep and don't have to be rocked all night. And kids really don't get sick as often in other childcare. Not even close.

My kid (in daycare) has been sick with fever twice in her life, once on vacation.

Heres the thing— daycare varies in quality. Some enforce handwashing and some don’t. I have also listened to a mom complaint bitterly that her daughter always has stomach bugs— then *not wash her hands* after changing her sons diaper. Its sometimes easier for gross or lazy parents to blame daycare.

[Anonymous]

Nanny here. Taking care of children from 2 different families. They were sick twice in 2 yrs, and no sickness with fever before 12 months at all. There is a huge difference if a 6 month old gets RSV or flu, or 3 yr old. And yes, almost everyone on here with 2 working parents can afford a nanny, it is more like they just do not want to bother and daycare seems easier or whatever. If I were a working parent, this would be a no brainier for me even if I had to give up half my paycheck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here. Taking care of children from 2 different families. They were sick twice in 2 yrs, and no sickness with fever before 12 months at all. There is a huge difference if a 6 month old gets RSV or flu, or 3 yr old. And yes, almost everyone on here with 2 working parents can afford a nanny, it is more like they just do not want to bother and daycare seems easier or whatever. If I were a working parent, this would be a no brainier for me even if I had to give up half my paycheck.

These judgmental posts suck. It’s okay for parents to make different choices. I love our daycare. It’s great for our child but I don’t care if other people want to exercise other options. We would personally neve Want a nanny but that’s our choice. It’s fine for other people. Whatever. Be a SAHM. I don’t care. Stop
Putting daycare down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here. Taking care of children from 2 different families. They were sick twice in 2 yrs, and no sickness with fever before 12 months at all. There is a huge difference if a 6 month old gets RSV or flu, or 3 yr old. And yes, almost everyone on here with 2 working parents can afford a nanny, it is more like they just do not want to bother and daycare seems easier or whatever. If I were a working parent, this would be a no brainier for me even if I had to give up half my paycheck.

Basic nanny is our area is 25/hr. That's 4000+ per month. You cray cray.