Do you regret not going into a more lucrative field?

[Anonymous]

Not really but I wish I had felt more confident in myself and abilities. I stopped working to be a SAHM for awhile and while every worked out, I ended up divorced. I like my job and will be ok financially but sometimes I wonder what I would’ve been if I’d had a husband who encouraged me to continue my education (he discouraged me from grad school) and career.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Endure a STEM major? I loved studying my STEM major. The classes were fascinating and so much fun.

I don't regret picking a high paying career. We're early 40s and have enough saved that i could retire if I wanted to do so. That provides a lot of career freedom.

Only a certain kind of person would love a STEM major. You found a skill that you loved and were good at. I can’t imagine pushing a child who isn’t a STEM fan to do it for the money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Endure a STEM major? I loved studying my STEM major. The classes were fascinating and so much fun.

I don't regret picking a high paying career. We're early 40s and have enough saved that i could retire if I wanted to do so. That provides a lot of career freedom.

Only a certain kind of person would love a STEM major. You found a skill that you loved and were good at. I can’t imagine pushing a child who isn’t a STEM fan to do it for the money.

Thousands of first gen kids are 'pushed' to do it. Hence the preponderance of Jewish doctors/lawyers over most of the last century and the preponderance of Indians/Asians in STEM/other high income professions over the last decade+. Takes discipline/mental conditioning. Find something that you are good at and makes money to pursue as a profession. Find something you love to do as a hobby. Awesome if the two happen to overlap, but they seldom do.

IMO, even among the 'locals', most successful people generally seem to guide their kids towards money. The immigrants don't sugercoat and push for this openly in school and get their kids into STEM programs. Locals kinda let their kids 'drift' with guardrails into a glidepath towards a desired target profession. For example, kid may do English literature or Theater with a minor in biology, etc. at a top school and end up going to law school or med school. Of course, many will drop off this path and wonder many years later on DCUM if they should have pursued a more lucrative field. This is very obvious if you have spent any time at all on the AAP and college forums. Asians are focused on TJ and getting into MIT (say). Locals are focused on 'enrichment and passion' (whatever that means), but generally seem to have money saved up for grad school, code for law, medical school or MBA.

[Anonymous]

I did study what was interesting to me (history and political science) and ended up in a somewhat lucrative field (marketing for consumer goods companies). I could have very well gone to law school with my major.

I do regret not going to law school. It is one of my only regrets in life. I didn’t work hard enough and my father (a big law partner) discouraged me and my siblings from going into law.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, many of the lucrative fields require degrees that are a huge challenge if you are average intelligence and/or hate math. A liberal arts degree was easy for me, but I really don't think I could earn an engineering degree even with lots of tutoring. I feel bad for some of the kids who are pressured into these majors.

[Anonymous]

Just yesterday I was lying on the hospital surgery room gurney for a minor outpatient surgery and thinking there's no way I could ever have been a doctor. Dealing with people and bodies just does not interest me.

I've done well in my career even if I came to my current role/track a bit late so the only regret is that I wasted time with a pointless master's and a few years of figuring things out instead of biting the bullet and going straight for a corporate entry level analyst role right out of college as that extra 6-7 years could have made a decent financial and professional difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t regret it but as someone who grew up poor I wish I’d had more knowledge. I didn’t even know a profession like consulting existed until I was an undergraduate student. Turns out there are lots of lucrative careers beyond just doctors and lawyers.

This! I grew up poor in Eastern Europe, didn't know what checkbook was at the age of 20. In this country, I studied nursing because I needed job immediately. Just working in the hospital, I was amazed how many professions exist in healthcare besides a nurse, doctor or pharmacist. I still don't know what consulting means exactly, ha!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, because after the first few years the work becomes more and more the same.

If you're going to spend all day typing sh!t into a computer and going to meetings, it doesn't really matter what field you're in. So you may as well be in a field that makes 400k vs 120k.

Yeah I wish I'd known this before becoming an archaeologist. It took me until almost 40 to hit 120k, and now the field looks like it's going to be decimated (between no more grants, reduced environmental review hitting contract firms, cuts to the feds, and state and university hiring freezes).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are immigrants of South Asian origin and most of my friends don't give kid option to go into lower paying fields and I feel like they came out ahead in long term even if there was friction for some years. We let our kids decide what they wanted and just supported that.

How did they "come out ahead"? Their kids might be miserable in a job in a STEM/higher paying area. I prefer to let my kids select their life and career path.
However, it comes with discussions about what you might do with a certain major, or how it might be easier to land a job with a MechE degree versus an English degree---that the English major might have to work a bit harder to find what they want to do, and that initially they might not get paid as much (first 3-5 years+). But if my kid wanted to major in English they could.

I don't know - my parents talked me out of going into journalism, and it was probably for the best. I wouldn't be able to afford my lifestyle if I didn't choose a higher-paying field, and I like my lifestyle.

As long as you are happy that is what matters. But yes, sounds like they talked you out of it and into something else you enjoy that pays more/is an easier path, most likely they knew you wanted a "higher cost lifestyle".

Glad you don't blame your parents. But I cannot imagine forcing my kid to choose a higher paying one.
And I grew up poor. My parents agreed to pay for 5 years of undergrad so I could get 2 degrees. One in CS/Engineering and one in music performance. They told me it was my choice what I did after college, but I was on my own financially. I preferred not to be poor so chose the CS and did the music as a hobby (But I attended school with several people who play in major symponies now and I was just as good as them in school, often beating most of them each quarter for top spot in the orchestra). I'm happy with my choices, as I prefer not struggle with money. But I also loved my STEM major and wasn't pushed into it. I was just genuinely good at both fields and loved them both. So it's easy to pick the one that gives more stability and better lifestyle.

If your parents paid for your undergrad (and 5 years at that), you did not grow up poor. Unless you mean you grew up poor until right before college when your parents came into a bunch of money and paid for your college. Real poor people don't have any expendable income to pay anything for their kids' college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are immigrants of South Asian origin and most of my friends don't give kid option to go into lower paying fields and I feel like they came out ahead in long term even if there was friction for some years. We let our kids decide what they wanted and just supported that.

Struggling with this now with one DC.

They want to major in something that isn't going to pay well. That would be fine except for the fact they like their comfortable lifestyle and to shop, a lot. I keep telling them that this job doesn't pay well, but they keep saying that they know. But, I don't think they really know.

I tried to explain to them the cost of rent, food, insurance, etc.. and then they would tell me that I'm discouraging. I tell them I'm trying to get them to be realistic, but they keep fighting me.

I don't want them to be in a situation where it become much more difficult to pivot and to struggle.

I grew up lower income, to immigrant parents who don't speak English. I struggled a lot. I have shared with them how difficult it was to be poor and not have any guidance. So, I'm trying to give them as much information as possible because I don't want them to end up struggling like I did.

It all falls on deaf ears.

What is it do you think won't pay well?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did study what was interesting to me (history and political science) and ended up in a somewhat lucrative field (marketing for consumer goods companies). I could have very well gone to law school with my major.

I do regret not going to law school. It is one of my only regrets in life. I didn’t work hard enough and my father (a big law partner) discouraged me and my siblings from going into law.

Likely because your dad endured it for the $$$s, but hated it. That’s 90% of BigLaw.

Why would you regret that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are immigrants of South Asian origin and most of my friends don't give kid option to go into lower paying fields and I feel like they came out ahead in long term even if there was friction for some years. We let our kids decide what they wanted and just supported that.

Struggling with this now with one DC.

They want to major in something that isn't going to pay well. That would be fine except for the fact they like their comfortable lifestyle and to shop, a lot. I keep telling them that this job doesn't pay well, but they keep saying that they know. But, I don't think they really know.

I tried to explain to them the cost of rent, food, insurance, etc.. and then they would tell me that I'm discouraging. I tell them I'm trying to get them to be realistic, but they keep fighting me.

I don't want them to be in a situation where it become much more difficult to pivot and to struggle.

I grew up lower income, to immigrant parents who don't speak English. I struggled a lot. I have shared with them how difficult it was to be poor and not have any guidance. So, I'm trying to give them as much information as possible because I don't want them to end up struggling like I did.

It all falls on deaf ears.

What is it do you think won't pay well?

Plenty of cool-sounding but ultimately misleading and pointless master's programs and career tracks that are interesting when you're in your early 20s but don't pan out unless you make the very top 1%. Things like museum studies or any kind of social services work.

I did a master's in city planning and it was entirely due to one conversation I had in senior year in college when I mentioned to a professor I liked architecture but was more interested in seeing how spaces come together than individual buildings and he suggested planning. Since I didn't know what else to do I went ahead, with some misguided belief that it could be the beginning of a career in RE development. Actual outcome, despite a fancy professional school, was an entry level county planning job, just like most of my peers from the program. Now that we're 20 years out I'd say the top 10% of grads have done fine, typically in the 100-150k job brackets as senior planning administrators or equivalents, a director or two. Bottom 90% are just plodding along having lots of meetings and writing policy reports no one really looks at and attending nighttime community meetings and making 50-80k.

As a PP commented, jobs requiring the same aptitude and workload can have hugely different salaries. I figured this out quickly and after a few years as a planner lucked into a corporate gig and now easily make at least double what I'd have made had I remained in the field and interviewed my way up to a supervisor level role. It means a very different lifestyle. I know my output and effect on the world is meaningless, but it's also true for almost all planners too. Our day to day work is not dissimilar, it's lots of team meetings and preparing reports (them) or strategies (me) but I make double. The people like me who left the planning field for more lucrative roles have all had the same experience and with no regrets.

Following your "heart" when you're 21 in most cases doesn't deliver the outcome you think it will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are immigrants of South Asian origin and most of my friends don't give kid option to go into lower paying fields and I feel like they came out ahead in long term even if there was friction for some years. We let our kids decide what they wanted and just supported that.

Struggling with this now with one DC.

They want to major in something that isn't going to pay well. That would be fine except for the fact they like their comfortable lifestyle and to shop, a lot. I keep telling them that this job doesn't pay well, but they keep saying that they know. But, I don't think they really know.

I tried to explain to them the cost of rent, food, insurance, etc.. and then they would tell me that I'm discouraging. I tell them I'm trying to get them to be realistic, but they keep fighting me.

I don't want them to be in a situation where it become much more difficult to pivot and to struggle.

I grew up lower income, to immigrant parents who don't speak English. I struggled a lot. I have shared with them how difficult it was to be poor and not have any guidance. So, I'm trying to give them as much information as possible because I don't want them to end up struggling like I did.

It all falls on deaf ears.

What is it do you think won't pay well?

It's a very specific, particular field. I looked at the payscale across the country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are immigrants of South Asian origin and most of my friends don't give kid option to go into lower paying fields and I feel like they came out ahead in long term even if there was friction for some years. We let our kids decide what they wanted and just supported that.

Struggling with this now with one DC.

They want to major in something that isn't going to pay well. That would be fine except for the fact they like their comfortable lifestyle and to shop, a lot. I keep telling them that this job doesn't pay well, but they keep saying that they know. But, I don't think they really know.

I tried to explain to them the cost of rent, food, insurance, etc.. and then they would tell me that I'm discouraging. I tell them I'm trying to get them to be realistic, but they keep fighting me.

I don't want them to be in a situation where it become much more difficult to pivot and to struggle.

I grew up lower income, to immigrant parents who don't speak English. I struggled a lot. I have shared with them how difficult it was to be poor and not have any guidance. So, I'm trying to give them as much information as possible because I don't want them to end up struggling like I did.

It all falls on deaf ears.

What is it do you think won't pay well?

Plenty of cool-sounding but ultimately misleading and pointless master's programs and career tracks that are interesting when you're in your early 20s but don't pan out unless you make the very top 1%. Things like museum studies or any kind of social services work.

I did a master's in city planning and it was entirely due to one conversation I had in senior year in college when I mentioned to a professor I liked architecture but was more interested in seeing how spaces come together than individual buildings and he suggested planning. Since I didn't know what else to do I went ahead, with some misguided belief that it could be the beginning of a career in RE development. Actual outcome, despite a fancy professional school, was an entry level county planning job, just like most of my peers from the program. Now that we're 20 years out I'd say the top 10% of grads have done fine, typically in the 100-150k job brackets as senior planning administrators or equivalents, a director or two. Bottom 90% are just plodding along having lots of meetings and writing policy reports no one really looks at and attending nighttime community meetings and making 50-80k.

As a PP commented, jobs requiring the same aptitude and workload can have hugely different salaries. I figured this out quickly and after a few years as a planner lucked into a corporate gig and now easily make at least double what I'd have made had I remained in the field and interviewed my way up to a supervisor level role. It means a very different lifestyle. I know my output and effect on the world is meaningless, but it's also true for almost all planners too. Our day to day work is not dissimilar, it's lots of team meetings and preparing reports (them) or strategies (me) but I make double. The people like me who left the planning field for more lucrative roles have all had the same experience and with no regrets.

Following your "heart" when you're 21 in most cases doesn't deliver the outcome you think it will.

Exactly. I'm the PP with a DC with the issue. Their field of study is like yours where it's very specific, and for the most part, is pretty much a government job that doesn't pay that well, like yours when you were in government. And you need a masters to even break $80K

They would have to be lucky to switch to private that pays better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are immigrants of South Asian origin and most of my friends don't give kid option to go into lower paying fields and I feel like they came out ahead in long term even if there was friction for some years. We let our kids decide what they wanted and just supported that.

How did they "come out ahead"? Their kids might be miserable in a job in a STEM/higher paying area. I prefer to let my kids select their life and career path.
However, it comes with discussions about what you might do with a certain major, or how it might be easier to land a job with a MechE degree versus an English degree---that the English major might have to work a bit harder to find what they want to do, and that initially they might not get paid as much (first 3-5 years+). But if my kid wanted to major in English they could.

I don't know - my parents talked me out of going into journalism, and it was probably for the best. I wouldn't be able to afford my lifestyle if I didn't choose a higher-paying field, and I like my lifestyle.

As long as you are happy that is what matters. But yes, sounds like they talked you out of it and into something else you enjoy that pays more/is an easier path, most likely they knew you wanted a "higher cost lifestyle".

Glad you don't blame your parents. But I cannot imagine forcing my kid to choose a higher paying one.
And I grew up poor. My parents agreed to pay for 5 years of undergrad so I could get 2 degrees. One in CS/Engineering and one in music performance. They told me it was my choice what I did after college, but I was on my own financially. I preferred not to be poor so chose the CS and did the music as a hobby (But I attended school with several people who play in major symponies now and I was just as good as them in school, often beating most of them each quarter for top spot in the orchestra). I'm happy with my choices, as I prefer not struggle with money. But I also loved my STEM major and wasn't pushed into it. I was just genuinely good at both fields and loved them both. So it's easy to pick the one that gives more stability and better lifestyle.

If your parents paid for your undergrad (and 5 years at that), you did not grow up poor. Unless you mean you grew up poor until right before college when your parents came into a bunch of money and paid for your college. Real poor people don't have any expendable income to pay anything for their kids' college.

My parents Helped pay for my 5 years. I did grow up poor. I received a lot of financial aid and merit, and I had to pay for 50% of my education and had $13K of student loans (the max allowed 30+ years ago for 5 years) and another $3K from a relative to get me thru the final year. My one parent worked a 2nd job for 5+ year to have the money to help pay their half of college for me and a sibling. So I grew up poor but with parents who lived as cheaply as possible (think gardened, raised chickens, and literally did all the repairs on the house themselves except HVAC work---I have helped reroof a house