23 and me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Adopted people absolutely have to do a DNA test. Their entire identity, ethnicity, biological relationships, and birth story, (even actual birth date information often), was removed away and it's high time that society stops pretending that everyone should leave it in the past. Adoption should be about the child, not the adoptive parents. Children are not commidities for infertile couples. These adopted people have every ethical right to seek out all parties and learn who they are, and unaware bio parents, bio siblings, relatives,too should also. Everyone should know who everyone is related to and what the story was- no matter what the circumstances. The time for secrecy, lies, and toxic patriarchal behavior is over.

With regard to privacy with companies, your actual medical records are far more at risk than anything in a DNA kit. Your medical records are associated with your name, age, SS# , address, and just about everything that is known about you, and that often involves DNA too. Many medical situations have been hacked over the years. I've received 4 notices in 10 years of various breaches.

DNA kits aren't associated with your identity unless you choose to provide it. That means your name or anything. However, here's the real truth. You may never decide to do a test kit, but if anyone at all in your family or extended family has completed one- yes, your DNA is out there too. It would take me less than a half hour to locate you through a 3rd or even 4th cousin, uncle, aunt if I wanted to. **Ask me how I found all my bio relatives! Most never even took a test.

Health insurance- currently illegal to use for denying service, but if it ever becomes legal, no one needs to hunt your DNA down and try and match you up in any stealth way. Insurance companies will find out straight up with a blood sample- just like many life insurances currently do.

Why try to sound so authoritative? You must have have some ego. You speak for yourself, I guess, but not at all for others in the adoption community. This adoptee and adoptive mom of 3 don't agree with you.

We've long since stopped caring what others think, all of us. In fact, you don't
get to decide what your adopted children think. It's about the adoptee, not the consumer.

Kids are not adoptees. They are our kids who joined our families through adoption. People like you make them feel lesser which is cruel and inappropriate. I would never call my child an adopted child. They are mine through and through. You have no idea about these kids past. Some good, some bad. Our situation would be partly dangerous.

They aren't "yours." They aren't goods that you paint with your colors, your name, your religion, your ethnicity to make them into your identity. No one refers to their adopted kids as "adopted" but they have a full identity and full relationships that have nothing to do with you. Your genealogy is not theirs.

Adoption practices and mindsets have evolved over the years, so it's probably a good idea to start getting acquainted. For adoptees it is called "coming out of the fog."
It's not your job to decide that their back story is too painful or embarrassing. It's still their birth story. What they decide to do with that story is up to them. You won't be able,thank goodness, to prevent them from finding out who they are eventually, so this conversation is moot. Of course they will use DNA, and of course, the myriad of adoptee search networks.

My kid knows everything and wants nothing to do with them. You have no idea what you are talking about. No idea.

Did you not learn your lesson about sock puppeting yet? Do you understand what that even is? You cannot be your own respondent.

If your child wants nothing to do with his bio family, that's his choice. It's not your choice, and that is the issue you struggle with. This isn't under your control.

I am **very** involved in the adoption community, and I assure you that I do speak for adoptees and I very much know what I am talking about. I suggest you do the same. And, you are the troll, not me, so perhaps you might "just stop."

No, you don’t speak for all adoptees and you sound horrible. Everyone has their own feelings, thoughts, needs and beliefs and you do not speak for everyone. You have no idea how others lives are and it’s their choice. Stop forcing your beliefs on others. I absolutely have control and will do everything possible to protect MY child. You just stop.

First of all, no one is forcing any belief of others. What the heck are you even referring to? Your kids will do what they want, DNA or whatever. All adopted people have the option to do DNA, and DNA is done for the reason that no one who was adopted had access to their identity before DNA. Happily, DNA stopped all the secrets and toxic privacy. You would be stunned at the amount of mem who have spread themselves around with zero accountability. Mothers who could not keep their kids due to judgement and shame, baby selling all over the place. And you think these are all GOOD things?

If your kids don't want to know- who cares? Who is forcing them? What are you even talking about? Secondly, everything I wrote about DNA is 100% fact, not my opinion.

You seem amazingly defensive for someone who isn't being forced to do anything. But, you should know that the discussion I've presented, yes, it the prevailing paradigm in the adoption community and does now drive practice. You are woefully uneducated about the subject and obviously very frightened about your relationship with your kids. Get over that. Get some help.
It is 2024, not 1962. You simply cannot drive the narrative about what adopted people can and cannot do - or what they should think.
And, no, I'm won't "stop." Who are you, the thread police? I mean, get a grip, lady. You are offended by something that you have no capacity to understand and so we all should stop commenting? What?

It's time for some reading and I hope you do it for your kid's sake.
https://lightofdaystories.com/2016/10/11/adult-adoptees-speaking-out-of-the-fog/

My kid just needs to stay away from people like you. Get your mental health checked.

Amen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Adopted people absolutely have to do a DNA test. Their entire identity, ethnicity, biological relationships, and birth story, (even actual birth date information often), was removed away and it's high time that society stops pretending that everyone should leave it in the past. Adoption should be about the child, not the adoptive parents. Children are not commidities for infertile couples. These adopted people have every ethical right to seek out all parties and learn who they are, and unaware bio parents, bio siblings, relatives,too should also. Everyone should know who everyone is related to and what the story was- no matter what the circumstances. The time for secrecy, lies, and toxic patriarchal behavior is over.

With regard to privacy with companies, your actual medical records are far more at risk than anything in a DNA kit. Your medical records are associated with your name, age, SS# , address, and just about everything that is known about you, and that often involves DNA too. Many medical situations have been hacked over the years. I've received 4 notices in 10 years of various breaches.

DNA kits aren't associated with your identity unless you choose to provide it. That means your name or anything. However, here's the real truth. You may never decide to do a test kit, but if anyone at all in your family or extended family has completed one- yes, your DNA is out there too. It would take me less than a half hour to locate you through a 3rd or even 4th cousin, uncle, aunt if I wanted to. **Ask me how I found all my bio relatives! Most never even took a test.

Health insurance- currently illegal to use for denying service, but if it ever becomes legal, no one needs to hunt your DNA down and try and match you up in any stealth way. Insurance companies will find out straight up with a blood sample- just like many life insurances currently do.

Why try to sound so authoritative? You must have have some ego. You speak for yourself, I guess, but not at all for others in the adoption community. This adoptee and adoptive mom of 3 don't agree with you.

We've long since stopped caring what others think, all of us. In fact, you don't
get to decide what your adopted children think. It's about the adoptee, not the consumer.

Kids are not adoptees. They are our kids who joined our families through adoption. People like you make them feel lesser which is cruel and inappropriate. I would never call my child an adopted child. They are mine through and through. You have no idea about these kids past. Some good, some bad. Our situation would be partly dangerous.

They aren't "yours." They aren't goods that you paint with your colors, your name, your religion, your ethnicity to make them into your identity. No one refers to their adopted kids as "adopted" but they have a full identity and full relationships that have nothing to do with you. Your genealogy is not theirs.

Adoption practices and mindsets have evolved over the years, so it's probably a good idea to start getting acquainted. For adoptees it is called "coming out of the fog."
It's not your job to decide that their back story is too painful or embarrassing. It's still their birth story. What they decide to do with that story is up to them. You won't be able,thank goodness, to prevent them from finding out who they are eventually, so this conversation is moot. Of course they will use DNA, and of course, the myriad of adoptee search networks.

My kid knows everything and wants nothing to do with them. You have no idea what you are talking about. No idea.

Did you not learn your lesson about sock puppeting yet? Do you understand what that even is? You cannot be your own respondent.

If your child wants nothing to do with his bio family, that's his choice. It's not your choice, and that is the issue you struggle with. This isn't under your control.

I am **very** involved in the adoption community, and I assure you that I do speak for adoptees and I very much know what I am talking about. I suggest you do the same. And, you are the troll, not me, so perhaps you might "just stop."

No, you don’t speak for all adoptees and you sound horrible. Everyone has their own feelings, thoughts, needs and beliefs and you do not speak for everyone. You have no idea how others lives are and it’s their choice. Stop forcing your beliefs on others. I absolutely have control and will do everything possible to protect MY child. You just stop.

First of all, no one is forcing any belief of others. What the heck are you even referring to? Your kids will do what they want, DNA or whatever. All adopted people have the option to do DNA, and DNA is done for the reason that no one who was adopted had access to their identity before DNA. Happily, DNA stopped all the secrets and toxic privacy. You would be stunned at the amount of mem who have spread themselves around with zero accountability. Mothers who could not keep their kids due to judgement and shame, baby selling all over the place. And you think these are all GOOD things?

If your kids don't want to know- who cares? Who is forcing them? What are you even talking about? Secondly, everything I wrote about DNA is 100% fact, not my opinion.

You seem amazingly defensive for someone who isn't being forced to do anything. But, you should know that the discussion I've presented, yes, it the prevailing paradigm in the adoption community and does now drive practice. You are woefully uneducated about the subject and obviously very frightened about your relationship with your kids. Get over that. Get some help.
It is 2024, not 1962. You simply cannot drive the narrative about what adopted people can and cannot do - or what they should think.
And, no, I'm won't "stop." Who are you, the thread police? I mean, get a grip, lady. You are offended by something that you have no capacity to understand and so we all should stop commenting? What?

It's time for some reading and I hope you do it for your kid's sake.
https://lightofdaystories.com/2016/10/11/adult-adoptees-speaking-out-of-the-fog/

My kid just needs to stay away from people like you. Get your mental health checked.

Amen.

Sock puppet alert. Again.

[Anonymous]

All of you are nuts.

- adult adoptee, mom to both adopted and bio kids, and sister to another adult adoptee.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of you are nuts.

- adult adoptee, mom to both adopted and bio kids, and sister to another adult adoptee.

You are STILL sock puppeting. No one here is this dumb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Adopted people absolutely have to do a DNA test. Their entire identity, ethnicity, biological relationships, and birth story, (even actual birth date information often), was removed away and it's high time that society stops pretending that everyone should leave it in the past. Adoption should be about the child, not the adoptive parents. Children are not commidities for infertile couples. These adopted people have every ethical right to seek out all parties and learn who they are, and unaware bio parents, bio siblings, relatives,too should also. Everyone should know who everyone is related to and what the story was- no matter what the circumstances. The time for secrecy, lies, and toxic patriarchal behavior is over.

With regard to privacy with companies, your actual medical records are far more at risk than anything in a DNA kit. Your medical records are associated with your name, age, SS# , address, and just about everything that is known about you, and that often involves DNA too. Many medical situations have been hacked over the years. I've received 4 notices in 10 years of various breaches.

DNA kits aren't associated with your identity unless you choose to provide it. That means your name or anything. However, here's the real truth. You may never decide to do a test kit, but if anyone at all in your family or extended family has completed one- yes, your DNA is out there too. It would take me less than a half hour to locate you through a 3rd or even 4th cousin, uncle, aunt if I wanted to. **Ask me how I found all my bio relatives! Most never even took a test.

Health insurance- currently illegal to use for denying service, but if it ever becomes legal, no one needs to hunt your DNA down and try and match you up in any stealth way. Insurance companies will find out straight up with a blood sample- just like many life insurances currently do.

Why try to sound so authoritative? You must have have some ego. You speak for yourself, I guess, but not at all for others in the adoption community. This adoptee and adoptive mom of 3 don't agree with you.

We've long since stopped caring what others think, all of us. In fact, you don't
get to decide what your adopted children think. It's about the adoptee, not the consumer.

Kids are not adoptees. They are our kids who joined our families through adoption. People like you make them feel lesser which is cruel and inappropriate. I would never call my child an adopted child. They are mine through and through. You have no idea about these kids past. Some good, some bad. Our situation would be partly dangerous.

They aren't "yours." They aren't goods that you paint with your colors, your name, your religion, your ethnicity to make them into your identity. No one refers to their adopted kids as "adopted" but they have a full identity and full relationships that have nothing to do with you. Your genealogy is not theirs.

Adoption practices and mindsets have evolved over the years, so it's probably a good idea to start getting acquainted. For adoptees it is called "coming out of the fog."
It's not your job to decide that their back story is too painful or embarrassing. It's still their birth story. What they decide to do with that story is up to them. You won't be able,thank goodness, to prevent them from finding out who they are eventually, so this conversation is moot. Of course they will use DNA, and of course, the myriad of adoptee search networks.

My kid knows everything and wants nothing to do with them. You have no idea what you are talking about. No idea.

Uh, well he's a kid. So when he isn't a kid, that will likely change. And don't forget he may have his own kids. They will have identity rights too. Adoptive parents do not hold the secret keys.

You think kids don’t have their own opinions and feelings. I am a parent. Stop acting like families via adoption are lesser or not real.

You know, it seems as though you really just don't understand this, this entire thread, or how it relates to the question. Your comments don't match any of it. No one even understands your problem here. This is about DNA and adootion. No one is talking about "lesser" or anything with regard to adopred kids. You are literally making no sense and you seem quite manic and defensive about it all. Deal with your personal issues here, but you are in the wrong thread, yelling at the wrong people. Additionally, you are pretending
to suoport your own statements as if you are other people, and that is sock puppeting. Your sock puppet comments were removed for that reason. Now you are just being a nasty bully for reasons unclear. It's getting weird.

But, let me point out you really are proving the adoptee's dilemma, thanks! My work is done here.

[Anonymous]

DNA is a useful tool, people use it all the time to discern what can't be learned tangentially. It is no more risky than any medical record, and,frankly, less identifiable to you than medical records. Anyone can be located now through DNA without the actual party taking a DNA test. That's how people are found- for adoptees, for law enforcement, for paternity, etc. You will also require DNA tests for biomarkers most likely at some point in your lifetime. It's not a boogeyman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 18YO says many friends are doing this and DC is thinking about it. Wrinkle: I adopted this child and wonder if/how genetic siblings and others might reach out.

I adopted my baby from a state with a registry where birth parents can register to connect with a child they placed for adoption. Due to agency’s sloppy paperwork, I have always known birth parents’ names and old (still current?) address. I have no issue with that direct connection, just do not who else might appear.

I know nothing about 23 and me, not even the cost. Has anyone BTDT when an adopted child becomes an adult?

Yes, i was able to locate my maternal and paternal families through DNA. No, one side had no idea and was very surprised,of course. For some people it is a reunion, for others, it is information.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My understanding is 23 and Me is in bankruptcy and looking for a buyer. I don't know any specifics, such as regulations on what the buyer can or cannot do with all the DNA data.

Sadly the CEO (Susan Wojcicki) died of cancer in Aug 2024.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Adopted people absolutely have to do a DNA test. Their entire identity, ethnicity, biological relationships, and birth story, (even actual birth date information often), was removed away and it's high time that society stops pretending that everyone should leave it in the past. Adoption should be about the child, not the adoptive parents. Children are not commidities for infertile couples. These adopted people have every ethical right to seek out all parties and learn who they are, and unaware bio parents, bio siblings, relatives,too should also. Everyone should know who everyone is related to and what the story was- no matter what the circumstances. The time for secrecy, lies, and toxic patriarchal behavior is over.

With regard to privacy with companies, your actual medical records are far more at risk than anything in a DNA kit. Your medical records are associated with your name, age, SS# , address, and just about everything that is known about you, and that often involves DNA too. Many medical situations have been hacked over the years. I've received 4 notices in 10 years of various breaches.

DNA kits aren't associated with your identity unless you choose to provide it. That means your name or anything. However, here's the real truth. You may never decide to do a test kit, but if anyone at all in your family or extended family has completed one- yes, your DNA is out there too. It would take me less than a half hour to locate you through a 3rd or even 4th cousin, uncle, aunt if I wanted to. **Ask me how I found all my bio relatives! Most never even took a test.

Health insurance- currently illegal to use for denying service, but if it ever becomes legal, no one needs to hunt your DNA down and try and match you up in any stealth way. Insurance companies will find out straight up with a blood sample- just like many life insurances currently do.

Why try to sound so authoritative? You must have have some ego. You speak for yourself, I guess, but not at all for others in the adoption community. This adoptee and adoptive mom of 3 don't agree with you.

We've long since stopped caring what others think, all of us. In fact, you don't
get to decide what your adopted children think. It's about the adoptee, not the consumer.

Kids are not adoptees. They are our kids who joined our families through adoption. People like you make them feel lesser which is cruel and inappropriate. I would never call my child an adopted child. They are mine through and through. You have no idea about these kids past. Some good, some bad. Our situation would be partly dangerous.

They aren't "yours." They aren't goods that you paint with your colors, your name, your religion, your ethnicity to make them into your identity. No one refers to their adopted kids as "adopted" but they have a full identity and full relationships that have nothing to do with you. Your genealogy is not theirs.

Adoption practices and mindsets have evolved over the years, so it's probably a good idea to start getting acquainted. For adoptees it is called "coming out of the fog."
It's not your job to decide that their back story is too painful or embarrassing. It's still their birth story. What they decide to do with that story is up to them. You won't be able,thank goodness, to prevent them from finding out who they are eventually, so this conversation is moot. Of course they will use DNA, and of course, the myriad of adoptee search networks.

My kid knows everything and wants nothing to do with them. You have no idea what you are talking about. No idea.

Uh, well he's a kid. So when he isn't a kid, that will likely change. And don't forget he may have his own kids. They will have identity rights too. Adoptive parents do not hold the secret keys.

You think kids don’t have their own opinions and feelings. I am a parent. Stop acting like families via adoption are lesser or not real.

You know, it seems as though you really just don't understand this, this entire thread, or how it relates to the question. Your comments don't match any of it. No one even understands your problem here. This is about DNA and adootion. No one is talking about "lesser" or anything with regard to adopred kids. You are literally making no sense and you seem quite manic and defensive about it all. Deal with your personal issues here, but you are in the wrong thread, yelling at the wrong people. Additionally, you are pretending
to suoport your own statements as if you are other people, and that is sock puppeting. Your sock puppet comments were removed for that reason. Now you are just being a nasty bully for reasons unclear. It's getting weird.

But, let me point out you really are proving the adoptee's dilemma, thanks! My work is done here.

People are people. You calling our kids adopted kids is offensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DNA cannot affect health insurance, denial of care, or insurance rates. Life insurance will be affected, but they will just ask you to do a blood test. Anyone worried about that info? Apparently not

When this administration destroys our insurance and starts to use pre existing conditions, they will ask you for your info, lol, they really aren't going to sneak around private sites and start picking apart your DNA profile, even if they can figure out who you are, where you live, who you are related to. Plus, it isn't really hard to find out who has cancer, MS, Huntingtons, Parkinson's, whatever in your family with almost no information at all. There is no such thing as privacy. Really.

Yet. Many of our rights are going away

Sure they may, but doing your DNA isn't putting you at any more risk than what will happen if those right disappear.

I’m talking about rights to healthcare. Our rights to healthcare with pre-existing conditions is being eliminated and next step will be if you have family history/genetic determinants for certain diseases. Sorry to women who have been tested for breast cancer genes, anyone who does genetic testing while pregnant, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DNA cannot affect health insurance, denial of care, or insurance rates. Life insurance will be affected, but they will just ask you to do a blood test. Anyone worried about that info? Apparently not

When this administration destroys our insurance and starts to use pre existing conditions, they will ask you for your info, lol, they really aren't going to sneak around private sites and start picking apart your DNA profile, even if they can figure out who you are, where you live, who you are related to. Plus, it isn't really hard to find out who has cancer, MS, Huntingtons, Parkinson's, whatever in your family with almost no information at all. There is no such thing as privacy. Really.

Yet. Many of our rights are going away

Sure they may, but doing your DNA isn't putting you at any more risk than what will happen if those right disappear.

I’m talking about rights to healthcare. Our rights to healthcare with pre-existing conditions is being eliminated and next step will be if you have family history/genetic determinants for certain diseases. Sorry to women who have been tested for breast cancer genes, anyone who does genetic testing while pregnant, etc.

Again, your test kit isn't going to impact that- the insurance companies will test you on their own to do that and that is the problem. They aren't going to scrounge around all the various kits looking to match you. How would that be possible or even effective? Moreover, what if you never took a test, but your cousin with a BRCA mutation did? That would be attributed to you as well. Or your ethnicity might raise question, so yes, they will ask you to test, no try to find it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DNA cannot affect health insurance, denial of care, or insurance rates. Life insurance will be affected, but they will just ask you to do a blood test. Anyone worried about that info? Apparently not

When this administration destroys our insurance and starts to use pre existing conditions, they will ask you for your info, lol, they really aren't going to sneak around private sites and start picking apart your DNA profile, even if they can figure out who you are, where you live, who you are related to. Plus, it isn't really hard to find out who has cancer, MS, Huntingtons, Parkinson's, whatever in your family with almost no information at all. There is no such thing as privacy. Really.

Yet. Many of our rights are going away

Sure they may, but doing your DNA isn't putting you at any more risk than what will happen if those right disappear.

I’m talking about rights to healthcare. Our rights to healthcare with pre-existing conditions is being eliminated and next step will be if you have family history/genetic determinants for certain diseases. Sorry to women who have been tested for breast cancer genes, anyone who does genetic testing while pregnant, etc.

Which is millions of women. Plus their relatives will be suspect. They do not need your private test- and your test isn't even necessarily connected to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Adopted people absolutely have to do a DNA test. Their entire identity, ethnicity, biological relationships, and birth story, (even actual birth date information often), was removed away and it's high time that society stops pretending that everyone should leave it in the past. Adoption should be about the child, not the adoptive parents. Children are not commidities for infertile couples. These adopted people have every ethical right to seek out all parties and learn who they are, and unaware bio parents, bio siblings, relatives,too should also. Everyone should know who everyone is related to and what the story was- no matter what the circumstances. The time for secrecy, lies, and toxic patriarchal behavior is over.

With regard to privacy with companies, your actual medical records are far more at risk than anything in a DNA kit. Your medical records are associated with your name, age, SS# , address, and just about everything that is known about you, and that often involves DNA too. Many medical situations have been hacked over the years. I've received 4 notices in 10 years of various breaches.

DNA kits aren't associated with your identity unless you choose to provide it. That means your name or anything. However, here's the real truth. You may never decide to do a test kit, but if anyone at all in your family or extended family has completed one- yes, your DNA is out there too. It would take me less than a half hour to locate you through a 3rd or even 4th cousin, uncle, aunt if I wanted to. **Ask me how I found all my bio relatives! Most never even took a test.

Health insurance- currently illegal to use for denying service, but if it ever becomes legal, no one needs to hunt your DNA down and try and match you up in any stealth way. Insurance companies will find out straight up with a blood sample- just like many life insurances currently do.

Why try to sound so authoritative? You must have have some ego. You speak for yourself, I guess, but not at all for others in the adoption community. This adoptee and adoptive mom of 3 don't agree with you.

We've long since stopped caring what others think, all of us. In fact, you don't
get to decide what your adopted children think. It's about the adoptee, not the consumer.

Kids are not adoptees. They are our kids who joined our families through adoption. People like you make them feel lesser which is cruel and inappropriate. I would never call my child an adopted child. They are mine through and through. You have no idea about these kids past. Some good, some bad. Our situation would be partly dangerous.

They aren't "yours." They aren't goods that you paint with your colors, your name, your religion, your ethnicity to make them into your identity. No one refers to their adopted kids as "adopted" but they have a full identity and full relationships that have nothing to do with you. Your genealogy is not theirs.

Adoption practices and mindsets have evolved over the years, so it's probably a good idea to start getting acquainted. For adoptees it is called "coming out of the fog."
It's not your job to decide that their back story is too painful or embarrassing. It's still their birth story. What they decide to do with that story is up to them. You won't be able,thank goodness, to prevent them from finding out who they are eventually, so this conversation is moot. Of course they will use DNA, and of course, the myriad of adoptee search networks.

My kid knows everything and wants nothing to do with them. You have no idea what you are talking about. No idea.

Uh, well he's a kid. So when he isn't a kid, that will likely change. And don't forget he may have his own kids. They will have identity rights too. Adoptive parents do not hold the secret keys.

You think kids don’t have their own opinions and feelings. I am a parent. Stop acting like families via adoption are lesser or not real.

You know, it seems as though you really just don't understand this, this entire thread, or how it relates to the question. Your comments don't match any of it. No one even understands your problem here. This is about DNA and adootion. No one is talking about "lesser" or anything with regard to adopred kids. You are literally making no sense and you seem quite manic and defensive about it all. Deal with your personal issues here, but you are in the wrong thread, yelling at the wrong people. Additionally, you are pretending
to suoport your own statements as if you are other people, and that is sock puppeting. Your sock puppet comments were removed for that reason. Now you are just being a nasty bully for reasons unclear. It's getting weird.

But, let me point out you really are proving the adoptee's dilemma, thanks! My work is done here.

People are people. You calling our kids adopted kids is offensive.

Where did anyone call your kids "adopted kids?" What on earth are you talking about? What is going on here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Adopted people absolutely have to do a DNA test. Their entire identity, ethnicity, biological relationships, and birth story, (even actual birth date information often), was removed away and it's high time that society stops pretending that everyone should leave it in the past. Adoption should be about the child, not the adoptive parents. Children are not commidities for infertile couples. These adopted people have every ethical right to seek out all parties and learn who they are, and unaware bio parents, bio siblings, relatives,too should also. Everyone should know who everyone is related to and what the story was- no matter what the circumstances. The time for secrecy, lies, and toxic patriarchal behavior is over.

With regard to privacy with companies, your actual medical records are far more at risk than anything in a DNA kit. Your medical records are associated with your name, age, SS# , address, and just about everything that is known about you, and that often involves DNA too. Many medical situations have been hacked over the years. I've received 4 notices in 10 years of various breaches.

DNA kits aren't associated with your identity unless you choose to provide it. That means your name or anything. However, here's the real truth. You may never decide to do a test kit, but if anyone at all in your family or extended family has completed one- yes, your DNA is out there too. It would take me less than a half hour to locate you through a 3rd or even 4th cousin, uncle, aunt if I wanted to. **Ask me how I found all my bio relatives! Most never even took a test.

Health insurance- currently illegal to use for denying service, but if it ever becomes legal, no one needs to hunt your DNA down and try and match you up in any stealth way. Insurance companies will find out straight up with a blood sample- just like many life insurances currently do.

Why try to sound so authoritative? You must have have some ego. You speak for yourself, I guess, but not at all for others in the adoption community. This adoptee and adoptive mom of 3 don't agree with you.

We've long since stopped caring what others think, all of us. In fact, you don't
get to decide what your adopted children think. It's about the adoptee, not the consumer.

Kids are not adoptees. They are our kids who joined our families through adoption. People like you make them feel lesser which is cruel and inappropriate. I would never call my child an adopted child. They are mine through and through. You have no idea about these kids past. Some good, some bad. Our situation would be partly dangerous.

They aren't "yours." They aren't goods that you paint with your colors, your name, your religion, your ethnicity to make them into your identity. No one refers to their adopted kids as "adopted" but they have a full identity and full relationships that have nothing to do with you. Your genealogy is not theirs.

Adoption practices and mindsets have evolved over the years, so it's probably a good idea to start getting acquainted. For adoptees it is called "coming out of the fog."
It's not your job to decide that their back story is too painful or embarrassing. It's still their birth story. What they decide to do with that story is up to them. You won't be able,thank goodness, to prevent them from finding out who they are eventually, so this conversation is moot. Of course they will use DNA, and of course, the myriad of adoptee search networks.

My kid knows everything and wants nothing to do with them. You have no idea what you are talking about. No idea.

Uh, well he's a kid. So when he isn't a kid, that will likely change. And don't forget he may have his own kids. They will have identity rights too. Adoptive parents do not hold the secret keys.

You think kids don’t have their own opinions and feelings. I am a parent. Stop acting like families via adoption are lesser or not real.

You know, it seems as though you really just don't understand this, this entire thread, or how it relates to the question. Your comments don't match any of it. No one even understands your problem here. This is about DNA and adootion. No one is talking about "lesser" or anything with regard to adopred kids. You are literally making no sense and you seem quite manic and defensive about it all. Deal with your personal issues here, but you are in the wrong thread, yelling at the wrong people. Additionally, you are pretending
to suoport your own statements as if you are other people, and that is sock puppeting. Your sock puppet comments were removed for that reason. Now you are just being a nasty bully for reasons unclear. It's getting weird.

But, let me point out you really are proving the adoptee's dilemma, thanks! My work is done here.

People are people. You calling our kids adopted kids is offensive.

Where did anyone call your kids "adopted kids?" What on earth are you talking about? What is going on here?

Read your posts. Super offensive.