Most social, fun and extroverted selective schools

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a recent graduate of the top school that conventional wisdom has declared FUN (Vanderbilt). This kid has a close friend attending the School Where Fun Goes to Die (Chicago) during the same years.

My kid, during many trips to stay with his friend on campus, found Chicago much more social, genuinely engaging and collaborative than Vanderbilt. People actually looked up from their phones and engaged and talked to each other and formed new clubs.

If however an elaborate tailgate scene is what you're actually asking, then yes, Vandy does well in that regard

Agree

Have heard the UChicago fun description a lot over last 2-3 years.

Is it still true today?

How do kids socialize? Downtown Chicago?

I had heard that Chicago kids were more mainstream, laid back but then we visited during their summer open house and 95% of our fellow prospective students appeared to be smart, quirky kids (nothing wrong with that but it was clearly a marked demographic).

honestly, I don't think you can avoid this at any top20 schools in 2025 except the state schools that are required to take smart but not super-gunner in-state students. The rest of their student bodies are primarily a grinder, geeky bunch. We toured a dozen top20 schools this summer and all the prospective student tours were filled with kids who looked like they don't leave their bedrooms except for school. Even Vanderbilt and Duke--it was no different there.

I know my post sounds highly critical of geeks but I actually was one (and married a guy who was even more of a science odd-ball (we met in an engineering program.) Unfortunately my kids (junior and senior) are pretty main-stream, very social but smart. They tour the top20 private schools in 2025 and feel like they don't see their people. They likely (fingers crossed) will end up at large state schools.

A lot of assumptions from one open house. Most kids are becoming similar, not different. All schools at that level have a grind element and admissions these days necessitates people with quirky background, interesting stories to tell, and intellectual interests. There’s a lot of room for mainstream within that.

This x1000. 90% of the kids at the top20 are geeky. Are there mainstream kids there too? Sure, but it is a lot harder to find them. People that are refuting this probably don’t know what these places were like 30 years ago.

There aren't many mainstream kids at the top20 schools in 2025. If you've been touring with your own mainstream kids (like I have and many of my friends and their kids have) you know what I mean because your kids have left a lot of tours wondering where their people are.

Every tour we’ve been on has had very nor students. Not sure why you wouldn’t be seen unless you’re particularly alternative

^normal

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a recent graduate of the top school that conventional wisdom has declared FUN (Vanderbilt). This kid has a close friend attending the School Where Fun Goes to Die (Chicago) during the same years.

My kid, during many trips to stay with his friend on campus, found Chicago much more social, genuinely engaging and collaborative than Vanderbilt. People actually looked up from their phones and engaged and talked to each other and formed new clubs.

If however an elaborate tailgate scene is what you're actually asking, then yes, Vandy does well in that regard

Not OP but did your DC bot like Vanderbilt? DD thinks it’s her first choice but we haven’t visited yet (she’s a jr)

PP back again. Yes, he did on the whole. EXCELLENT professors. Good clubs. Enjoyed Greek life. Not a sporty guy but observed that other people seemed to enjoy the game day stuff.

And of course Nashville. Nashville is an absolute blast

[Anonymous]

Brown

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What schools are like Duke and northwestern in the 1990s?

None of the top 20. That was a different era. 12-25% acceptance rate depending on school and 1/2-3/4 of all current most selective colleges (ivies plus the next 5-8 privates) had students who scored less than 95th%ile. Now these same schools have 3/4 98-99+%ile and with a 3-8% acceptance rate for them, these kids have to do far more than we did. They take much harder classes in high school. They are a different group(who wind up matriculants at these places). My kid’s t10 dean did a whole presentation on it at parents weekend, correcting scores from the 90s so they were comparing %ile range to percentile range . The students have more mental health issues, they in some ways are less independent, and yet overall are far smarter than we were on average.
I am in NC and know more than a couple top of the class students who picked UVa OOS or UNC in state over Duke or ivies for this reason. Some of them have parents who went to Duke. UNC is a similar balance to what Duke used to be: about 25% are the 99%ile type super nerds. Sorry to the nerds out there but someone has to say it. People who were average Duke students back then would never fit now. Of course they also would never get in!

Agree. People need to accept it is different, and that the new milieu of ivy/plus schools either is or is not a fit for your DC. I would suggest a tour, or virtual info sessions, and be honest with how they really stack up. These are amazing schools and they are a lot of fun and for many allow themto be more social than they were in high school, but they are also more intense than they used to be. Many of us have students at one or more(I have 3), and many of us went to one ourselves and can compare; while it is different than the 90s, it fits many students quite well, and they thrive there and certainly can find time to "party" if that is their thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Brown

?really mine almost transferred out and so did their roommate due to no social life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a recent graduate of the top school that conventional wisdom has declared FUN (Vanderbilt). This kid has a close friend attending the School Where Fun Goes to Die (Chicago) during the same years.

My kid, during many trips to stay with his friend on campus, found Chicago much more social, genuinely engaging and collaborative than Vanderbilt. People actually looked up from their phones and engaged and talked to each other and formed new clubs.

If however an elaborate tailgate scene is what you're actually asking, then yes, Vandy does well in that regard

Agree

Have heard the UChicago fun description a lot over last 2-3 years.

Is it still true today?

How do kids socialize? Downtown Chicago?

I had heard that Chicago kids were more mainstream, laid back but then we visited during their summer open house and 95% of our fellow prospective students appeared to be smart, quirky kids (nothing wrong with that but it was clearly a marked demographic).

honestly, I don't think you can avoid this at any top20 schools in 2025 except the state schools that are required to take smart but not super-gunner in-state students. The rest of their student bodies are primarily a grinder, geeky bunch. We toured a dozen top20 schools this summer and all the prospective student tours were filled with kids who looked like they don't leave their bedrooms except for school. Even Vanderbilt and Duke--it was no different there.

I know my post sounds highly critical of geeks but I actually was one (and married a guy who was even more of a science odd-ball (we met in an engineering program.) Unfortunately my kids (junior and senior) are pretty main-stream, very social but smart. They tour the top20 private schools in 2025 and feel like they don't see their people. They likely (fingers crossed) will end up at large state schools.

And my extremely bright yet social kid loved over half the t20s we toured and loves their ivy, and little sibling is aiming for a different ivy…to each their own i say! It is great yours realized that type of academic environment is not for them

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This still holds true for Northwestern, according to my very social (and equally brainy) niece who goes there now!

That is not its current reputation.

+1 its a gunner school just like the rest of top 15 privates

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a recent graduate of the top school that conventional wisdom has declared FUN (Vanderbilt). This kid has a close friend attending the School Where Fun Goes to Die (Chicago) during the same years.

My kid, during many trips to stay with his friend on campus, found Chicago much more social, genuinely engaging and collaborative than Vanderbilt. People actually looked up from their phones and engaged and talked to each other and formed new clubs.

If however an elaborate tailgate scene is what you're actually asking, then yes, Vandy does well in that regard

Agree

Have heard the UChicago fun description a lot over last 2-3 years.

Is it still true today?

How do kids socialize? Downtown Chicago?

I had heard that Chicago kids were more mainstream, laid back but then we visited during their summer open house and 95% of our fellow prospective students appeared to be smart, quirky kids (nothing wrong with that but it was clearly a marked demographic).

honestly, I don't think you can avoid this at any top20 schools in 2025 except the state schools that are required to take smart but not super-gunner in-state students. The rest of their student bodies are primarily a grinder, geeky bunch. We toured a dozen top20 schools this summer and all the prospective student tours were filled with kids who looked like they don't leave their bedrooms except for school. Even Vanderbilt and Duke--it was no different there.

I know my post sounds highly critical of geeks but I actually was one (and married a guy who was even more of a science odd-ball (we met in an engineering program.) Unfortunately my kids (junior and senior) are pretty main-stream, very social but smart. They tour the top20 private schools in 2025 and feel like they don't see their people. They likely (fingers crossed) will end up at large state schools.

And my extremely bright yet social kid loved over half the t20s we toured and loves their ivy, and little sibling is aiming for a different ivy…to each their own i say! It is great yours realized that type of academic environment is not for them

No. Your kid is just nerdier than the previous poster’s kid and my own kid. And it’s OK.

Revel in their nerdiness, but let other people try to find their people too.
What’s the harm in them posting their opinion? Fii ok r a post about their kind of kid?

Glad your kid found their ppl - guess what. You’re not the target audience for this post. Read the title!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This still holds true for Northwestern, according to my very social (and equally brainy) niece who goes there now!

That is not its current reputation.

+1 its a gunner school just like the rest of top 15 privates

Is NU a gunner school now?
Or just very international? Very Asian?
Lends a more serious vibe.

- I say this as an Asian American

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a recent graduate of the top school that conventional wisdom has declared FUN (Vanderbilt). This kid has a close friend attending the School Where Fun Goes to Die (Chicago) during the same years.

My kid, during many trips to stay with his friend on campus, found Chicago much more social, genuinely engaging and collaborative than Vanderbilt. People actually looked up from their phones and engaged and talked to each other and formed new clubs.

If however an elaborate tailgate scene is what you're actually asking, then yes, Vandy does well in that regard

Agree

Have heard the UChicago fun description a lot over last 2-3 years.

Is it still true today?

How do kids socialize? Downtown Chicago?

I had heard that Chicago kids were more mainstream, laid back but then we visited during their summer open house and 95% of our fellow prospective students appeared to be smart, quirky kids (nothing wrong with that but it was clearly a marked demographic).

honestly, I don't think you can avoid this at any top20 schools in 2025 except the state schools that are required to take smart but not super-gunner in-state students. The rest of their student bodies are primarily a grinder, geeky bunch. We toured a dozen top20 schools this summer and all the prospective student tours were filled with kids who looked like they don't leave their bedrooms except for school. Even Vanderbilt and Duke--it was no different there.

I know my post sounds highly critical of geeks but I actually was one (and married a guy who was even more of a science odd-ball (we met in an engineering program.) Unfortunately my kids (junior and senior) are pretty main-stream, very social but smart. They tour the top20 private schools in 2025 and feel like they don't see their people. They likely (fingers crossed) will end up at large state schools.

A lot of assumptions from one open house. Most kids are becoming similar, not different. All schools at that level have a grind element and admissions these days necessitates people with quirky background, interesting stories to tell, and intellectual interests. There’s a lot of room for mainstream within that.

This x1000. 90% of the kids at the top20 are geeky. Are there mainstream kids there too? Sure, but it is a lot harder to find them. People that are refuting this probably don’t know what these places were like 30 years ago.

There aren't many mainstream kids at the top20 schools in 2025. If you've been touring with your own mainstream kids (like I have and many of my friends and their kids have) you know what I mean because your kids have left a lot of tours wondering where their people are.

Good! Mainstream kids the way you describe them are not intellectually vibrant or tenacious enough for T20 let alone T10. The right students love these tours and consider the tour guides and the students they meet completely normal and refreshingly honest, the kind they would love to have a conversation with. They see it as a break from the vapid prep-school set who favor cliques and parties and all dress the same and only aim for T20s because smart becomes temporarily cool and desired in 11th grade when the top kids get tons of awards and cool kids who are only superficially smart but not truly intellectual begin look up to them. For the most part, the top schools get the students who belong there and the fakers go elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a recent graduate of the top school that conventional wisdom has declared FUN (Vanderbilt). This kid has a close friend attending the School Where Fun Goes to Die (Chicago) during the same years.

My kid, during many trips to stay with his friend on campus, found Chicago much more social, genuinely engaging and collaborative than Vanderbilt. People actually looked up from their phones and engaged and talked to each other and formed new clubs.

If however an elaborate tailgate scene is what you're actually asking, then yes, Vandy does well in that regard

Agree

Have heard the UChicago fun description a lot over last 2-3 years.

Is it still true today?

How do kids socialize? Downtown Chicago?

I had heard that Chicago kids were more mainstream, laid back but then we visited during their summer open house and 95% of our fellow prospective students appeared to be smart, quirky kids (nothing wrong with that but it was clearly a marked demographic).

honestly, I don't think you can avoid this at any top20 schools in 2025 except the state schools that are required to take smart but not super-gunner in-state students. The rest of their student bodies are primarily a grinder, geeky bunch. We toured a dozen top20 schools this summer and all the prospective student tours were filled with kids who looked like they don't leave their bedrooms except for school. Even Vanderbilt and Duke--it was no different there.

I know my post sounds highly critical of geeks but I actually was one (and married a guy who was even more of a science odd-ball (we met in an engineering program.) Unfortunately my kids (junior and senior) are pretty main-stream, very social but smart. They tour the top20 private schools in 2025 and feel like they don't see their people. They likely (fingers crossed) will end up at large state schools.

A lot of assumptions from one open house. Most kids are becoming similar, not different. All schools at that level have a grind element and admissions these days necessitates people with quirky background, interesting stories to tell, and intellectual interests. There’s a lot of room for mainstream within that.

This x1000. 90% of the kids at the top20 are geeky. Are there mainstream kids there too? Sure, but it is a lot harder to find them. People that are refuting this probably don’t know what these places were like 30 years ago.

There aren't many mainstream kids at the top20 schools in 2025. If you've been touring with your own mainstream kids (like I have and many of my friends and their kids have) you know what I mean because your kids have left a lot of tours wondering where their people are.

Good! Mainstream kids the way you describe them are not intellectually vibrant or tenacious enough for T20 let alone T10. The right students love these tours and consider the tour guides and the students they meet completely normal and refreshingly honest, the kind they would love to have a conversation with. They see it as a break from the vapid prep-school set who favor cliques and parties and all dress the same and only aim for T20s because smart becomes temporarily cool and desired in 11th grade when the top kids get tons of awards and cool kids who are only superficially smart but not truly intellectual begin look up to them. For the most part, the top schools get the students who belong there and the fakers go elsewhere.

wtf are you babbling about?
Chip on your on your shoulder because of how your kids were treated in high school? Grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a recent graduate of the top school that conventional wisdom has declared FUN (Vanderbilt). This kid has a close friend attending the School Where Fun Goes to Die (Chicago) during the same years.

My kid, during many trips to stay with his friend on campus, found Chicago much more social, genuinely engaging and collaborative than Vanderbilt. People actually looked up from their phones and engaged and talked to each other and formed new clubs.

If however an elaborate tailgate scene is what you're actually asking, then yes, Vandy does well in that regard

Agree

Have heard the UChicago fun description a lot over last 2-3 years.

Is it still true today?

How do kids socialize? Downtown Chicago?

I had heard that Chicago kids were more mainstream, laid back but then we visited during their summer open house and 95% of our fellow prospective students appeared to be smart, quirky kids (nothing wrong with that but it was clearly a marked demographic).

honestly, I don't think you can avoid this at any top20 schools in 2025 except the state schools that are required to take smart but not super-gunner in-state students. The rest of their student bodies are primarily a grinder, geeky bunch. We toured a dozen top20 schools this summer and all the prospective student tours were filled with kids who looked like they don't leave their bedrooms except for school. Even Vanderbilt and Duke--it was no different there.

I know my post sounds highly critical of geeks but I actually was one (and married a guy who was even more of a science odd-ball (we met in an engineering program.) Unfortunately my kids (junior and senior) are pretty main-stream, very social but smart. They tour the top20 private schools in 2025 and feel like they don't see their people. They likely (fingers crossed) will end up at large state schools.

And my extremely bright yet social kid loved over half the t20s we toured and loves their ivy, and little sibling is aiming for a different ivy…to each their own i say! It is great yours realized that type of academic environment is not for them

No. Your kid is just nerdier than the previous poster’s kid and my own kid. And it’s OK.

Revel in their nerdiness, but let other people try to find their people too.
What’s the harm in them posting their opinion? Fii ok r a post about their kind of kid?

Glad your kid found their ppl - guess what. You’re not the target audience for this post. Read the title!

I read the title. My kid's "people" are soclal and extroverted just as they are. But at an ivy. Shocker there are socially extroverted brilliant kids too. The stereotype that they are all introverted , super nerdy, and do not leave the library is tiresome. The ivies and similar t15 provide the best of both worlds: unparalleled academics plus hundreds of clubs, performance arts, and more where brilliant kids have FUN and it is ok to care about intellectual things. We have been on campus many weekends and have seen the parties, and also heard about parties departments and professors have, for undergrads and grad students.
The whole "ivies are so nerdy" is mostly copium.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This still holds true for Northwestern, according to my very social (and equally brainy) niece who goes there now!

That is not its current reputation.

Agree. My kid went to Northwestern thinking it would be a great mix of brains & social life. Turned out to be full of nerds tripping on wokism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This still holds true for Northwestern, according to my very social (and equally brainy) niece who goes there now!

That is not its current reputation.

+1 its a gunner school just like the rest of top 15 privates

Is NU a gunner school now?
Or just very international? Very Asian?
Lends a more serious vibe.

- I say this as an Asian American

A school can have intense and serious students who are also social and like to go out. It doesn’t have to be one or the other. NU has plenty of students who are social. Some of the social kids you might describe as gunners, although I’m not a fan of the term.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This still holds true for Northwestern, according to my very social (and equally brainy) niece who goes there now!

That is not its current reputation.

Agree. My kid went to Northwestern thinking it would be a great mix of brains & social life. Turned out to be full of nerds tripping on wokism.

Is Duke like this too?