If you had a child as a single mom, how was your experience?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I adopted a toddler as a single mom. The joys do outweigh the challenges, but it can be difficult. Daycare is crazy expensive and even after that, there's aftercare and camps in the summer. My DD is now in her 20s, but there was a long period where I wasn't saving for retirement so I could meet all the expenses, so I now have less than I hoped.

One of most difficult aspects is how 24/7 the job is. There isn't much downtime, except for naps and when they go to bed. Even with a circle of friends or relatives, there were certainly times when she was young that I just wanted a break and there was nowhere to turn, particularly if I was sick.

But on the upside, we formed a very close bond with just the two of us, and experiencing all the joys of childhood, from bedtime stories to catching fireflies to trips to the beach, makes up for all the hard times.

Any reason you chose to adopt?

Would you ask that of a married couple?

Yes I would. I always wonder about people who adopt vs giving birth

Funny, I always “wonder” about people who endures years if expensive, painful, risky fertility treatment…when they could just adopt.

Same for me.

Then again, I never once considered pregnancy. Ever since I was a young child I had always dreamed of adopting a child, just as others have always dreamed of giving birth. Some people go to the ends of the earth for the latter, and I went to the ends of the earth (literally) for my internationally adopted daughter. If for some reason I couldn't do that, I would remain child-free. I'm guessing it work that way for pregnancy-desiring women, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a single mom by choice (adoption) and a teacher. Not afraid of >neuro< or other issues because I know how and where to get help. I've seen everything in schools.

I get a lot of days "off" -- usually planning or grading -- and my son loves coming to school with me on those days. He brings his books and his art supplies (NO electronics) and stays busy.

We have a wonderful cozy relationship and we see my parents one weekend a month.

Get planning and saving, join your local SMC group, and go for it.

This is the key to your success as a single mom by choice. I joined several years before actually becoming an smc.