Married men with a married AP

[Anonymous]

OP, get yourself tested for STDs. Someone who does this (imho most AP) also lie about using birth control. Make sure you get the HPV vaccine too. With MPox and Syphilis on the rise, you need to be really careful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I dunno. I almost had an affair, and I wanted sex primarily. My DH had stopped having sex with me completely and refused to do marriage counseling. I didn’t want a new relationship, I didn’t want to leave my marriage, I just wanted hot sex with a guy who wanted me. I felt like I was way too young to be celibate.

I thought a man in the same situation would understand and we could help each other carry on until our kids were older. The man I was talking to was wildly appealing to me. I wanted him a lot! But I decided against it in the end, and I’m glad.

Having sex with a guy who can't keep his hands off you, and is good in bed, and truly enjoys watching you experience pleasure, and is caring and loving - is one the greatest experiences on earth. Don't you think you might regret giving that up? What's the worst that could have happened? The end of a marriage to a guy who doesn't care that much about you and certainly doesn't appreciate you?

[justthinking]

Anonymous wrote:OP, get yourself tested for STDs. Someone who does this (imho most AP) also lie about using birth control. Make sure you get the HPV vaccine too. With MPox and Syphilis on the rise, you need to be really careful.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dunno. I almost had an affair, and I wanted sex primarily. My DH had stopped having sex with me completely and refused to do marriage counseling. I didn’t want a new relationship, I didn’t want to leave my marriage, I just wanted hot sex with a guy who wanted me. I felt like I was way too young to be celibate.

I thought a man in the same situation would understand and we could help each other carry on until our kids were older. The man I was talking to was wildly appealing to me. I wanted him a lot! But I decided against it in the end, and I’m glad.

Having sex with a guy who can't keep his hands off you, and is good in bed, and truly enjoys watching you experience pleasure, and is caring and loving - is one the greatest experiences on earth. Don't you think you might regret giving that up? What's the worst that could have happened? The end of a marriage to a guy who doesn't care that much about you and certainly doesn't appreciate you?

Who are you, to try to plant second thoughts in that PP's mind? She came back to say she loves her DH and things have improved. Maybe you don't grasp that love can be about more than sex. "What's the worst that could have happened?" How about loss of self-respect? Loss of a marriage to someone she loves as a whole person (not just a sex partner) and has built a life with? I suspect your emphasis on earth-shaking sex as THE goal might make you unable to see the larger losses if she had caved in to an affair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dunno. I almost had an affair, and I wanted sex primarily. My DH had stopped having sex with me completely and refused to do marriage counseling. I didn’t want a new relationship, I didn’t want to leave my marriage, I just wanted hot sex with a guy who wanted me. I felt like I was way too young to be celibate.

I thought a man in the same situation would understand and we could help each other carry on until our kids were older. The man I was talking to was wildly appealing to me. I wanted him a lot! But I decided against it in the end, and I’m glad.

Having sex with a guy who can't keep his hands off you, and is good in bed, and truly enjoys watching you experience pleasure, and is caring and loving - is one the greatest experiences on earth. Don't you think you might regret giving that up? What's the worst that could have happened? The end of a marriage to a guy who doesn't care that much about you and certainly doesn't appreciate you?

1. Ha! DH and I had that in the beginning, it’s not like I never experienced that. He loves me in his own way.

2. There are 5 kids between pAP and I. I won’t hurt them. That’s what kept me from doing it. We are still friendly. Maybe someday, maybe if we are both unmarried, but not while we are married to other people. I am not interested in infidelity and that’s not who I am. Believe me, I was so close, and that’s how I know I can’t do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dunno. I almost had an affair, and I wanted sex primarily. My DH had stopped having sex with me completely and refused to do marriage counseling. I didn’t want a new relationship, I didn’t want to leave my marriage, I just wanted hot sex with a guy who wanted me. I felt like I was way too young to be celibate.

I thought a man in the same situation would understand and we could help each other carry on until our kids were older. The man I was talking to was wildly appealing to me. I wanted him a lot! But I decided against it in the end, and I’m glad.

Good for you. (No sarcasm.) how are things with your DH now and how did you get it back on track? What was the reason you two weren’t being intimate at home?

Things are better, though not perfect. DH cannot really explain why he rejected me for so long. I think it was a midlife crisis of sorts. I love him deeply but have accepted our sex life will never really be that great for me. I have always loved sex and been very attracted to him.

I have a guess...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, get yourself tested for STDs. Someone who does this (imho most AP) also lie about using birth control. Make sure you get the HPV vaccine too. With MPox and Syphilis on the rise, you need to be really careful.

Especially Syphilis because the disturbing trend are asymptomatic Syphilis cases. In fact more and more STDs are becoming asymptotic. If this trend continues monogamy may be the only way to stay safe. And that's a big issue for horny men and women who put sex before everything. Sex is great don't get me wrong, I love the feeling of cumming as a guy. But I love travelling and hiking all over the world more than sex, so I will continue remaining faithful to my wife. We try our best to have an active sex life. But hey to each his/her own. Some of the combative cheaters on here please do you no hrs feelings. You are you are remember that. Keep doing what you are doing it's your life.

[Anonymous]

@3:03 what?

[Anonymous]

Wait.... is AP short for Affair Partner or Au Pair? I'm confused...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, get yourself tested for STDs. Someone who does this (imho most AP) also lie about using birth control. Make sure you get the HPV vaccine too. With MPox and Syphilis on the rise, you need to be really careful.

WHY would somebody who is having an affair and not wanting to get caught LIE about BC? That makes absolutely no sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my limited knowledge of this happening to people I know, all married cheaters have had more than one AP and all the APs think they’re the only one.

How many married cheaters do you know??? And know that well to know they are in multiple extra-marital relationships?? Wow.

I know of 4. All only have/had one AP. Well, at least at a time. One did have sequential affairs, but that is something else. I know of a few other cheaters, but don't know if they had more than one partner at a time. I suspect not, but won't be confirming that any time soon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my limited knowledge of this happening to people I know, all married cheaters have had more than one AP and all the APs think they’re the only one.

How many married cheaters do you know??? And know that well to know they are in multiple extra-marital relationships?? Wow.

I know of 4. All only have/had one AP. Well, at least at a time. One did have sequential affairs, but that is something else. I know of a few other cheaters, but don't know if they had more than one partner at a time. I suspect not, but won't be confirming that any time soon.

Sh**t ONE is too many 🤣

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my limited knowledge of this happening to people I know, all married cheaters have had more than one AP and all the APs think they’re the only one.

How many married cheaters do you know??? And know that well to know they are in multiple extra-marital relationships?? Wow.

I know of 4. All only have/had one AP. Well, at least at a time. One did have sequential affairs, but that is something else. I know of a few other cheaters, but don't know if they had more than one partner at a time. I suspect not, but won't be confirming that any time soon.

You don’t know their AP partners though. Enough said…lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dunno. I almost had an affair, and I wanted sex primarily. My DH had stopped having sex with me completely and refused to do marriage counseling. I didn’t want a new relationship, I didn’t want to leave my marriage, I just wanted hot sex with a guy who wanted me. I felt like I was way too young to be celibate.

I thought a man in the same situation would understand and we could help each other carry on until our kids were older. The man I was talking to was wildly appealing to me. I wanted him a lot! But I decided against it in the end, and I’m glad.

Having sex with a guy who can't keep his hands off you, and is good in bed, and truly enjoys watching you experience pleasure, and is caring and loving - is one the greatest experiences on earth. Don't you think you might regret giving that up? What's the worst that could have happened? The end of a marriage to a guy who doesn't care that much about you and certainly doesn't appreciate you?

1. Ha! DH and I had that in the beginning, it’s not like I never experienced that. He loves me in his own way.

2. There are 5 kids between pAP and I. I won’t hurt them. That’s what kept me from doing it. We are still friendly. Maybe someday, maybe if we are both unmarried, but not while we are married to other people. I am not interested in infidelity and that’s not who I am. Believe me, I was so close, and that’s how I know I can’t do it.

Good for you for not letting it cross THE LINE but didn’t you do something akin to cheating to let it get as close as it did? It sounds like you crossed other lines. Holding on to a maybe someday fantasy - wonder what your DH would say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dunno. I almost had an affair, and I wanted sex primarily. My DH had stopped having sex with me completely and refused to do marriage counseling. I didn’t want a new relationship, I didn’t want to leave my marriage, I just wanted hot sex with a guy who wanted me. I felt like I was way too young to be celibate.

I thought a man in the same situation would understand and we could help each other carry on until our kids were older. The man I was talking to was wildly appealing to me. I wanted him a lot! But I decided against it in the end, and I’m glad.

Having sex with a guy who can't keep his hands off you, and is good in bed, and truly enjoys watching you experience pleasure, and is caring and loving - is one the greatest experiences on earth. Don't you think you might regret giving that up? What's the worst that could have happened? The end of a marriage to a guy who doesn't care that much about you and certainly doesn't appreciate you?

1. Ha! DH and I had that in the beginning, it’s not like I never experienced that. He loves me in his own way.

2. There are 5 kids between pAP and I. I won’t hurt them. That’s what kept me from doing it. We are still friendly. Maybe someday, maybe if we are both unmarried, but not while we are married to other people. I am not interested in infidelity and that’s not who I am. Believe me, I was so close, and that’s how I know I can’t do it.

Good for you for not letting it cross THE LINE but didn’t you do something akin to cheating to let it get as close as it did? It sounds like you crossed other lines. Holding on to a maybe someday fantasy - wonder what your DH would say.

Oh, DH knew/knows everything. Like many men he doesn’t take an emotional entanglement particularly seriously. He said it was hot another man wants his wife. He admitted to me a little while ago that the whole thing turns him on a lot and we talk about it/fantasize while we are intimate.