At a breaking point in nearly sexless marriage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women should just let their man go get release through a prostitute. It's not that big of a deal.

Men don’t want prostitutes or “release.” They want connection and desire.

This post sounds like it was written by a woman in any case.

Most of the ones around here complaining about sexless marriages seem completely fine with the concept of having sex with their wives, whether or not their wives are turned on or into it. The decent ones say they want consent, but none seem interested in whether their wives enjoy it.

The tip is when they start talking about their wives making "unilateral" decisions to not have sex wiht their husbands as if the husband has any say in whether his wife will have sex with him.

You sound like a complete nut case. Marriage is a partnership, off course husband will have a say when THEY will have sex. Same goes for wife. Now if the husband or wife are a-hole or if they have gotten too fat, then it is understandable for their spouse not to have any desire.

Husbands don't get to decide whether their wife will have sex. They need to get consent.

Marriage is a partnership which means both partners have a say when they have sex. Asking for permission makes it a master/slave relationship not a partnership

Having sex with someone without their permission makes it rape.

This seems like a completely irrelevant point. How exactly is rape connected to this discussion?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women should just let their man go get release through a prostitute. It's not that big of a deal.

Men don’t want prostitutes or “release.” They want connection and desire.

This post sounds like it was written by a woman in any case.

Most of the ones around here complaining about sexless marriages seem completely fine with the concept of having sex with their wives, whether or not their wives are turned on or into it. The decent ones say they want consent, but none seem interested in whether their wives enjoy it.

The tip is when they start talking about their wives making "unilateral" decisions to not have sex wiht their husbands as if the husband has any say in whether his wife will have sex with him.

You sound like a complete nut case. Marriage is a partnership, off course husband will have a say when THEY will have sex. Same goes for wife. Now if the husband or wife are a-hole or if they have gotten too fat, then it is understandable for their spouse not to have any desire.

Husbands don't get to decide whether their wife will have sex. They need to get consent.

Marriage is a partnership which means both partners have a say when they have sex. Asking for permission makes it a master/slave relationship not a partnership

Having sex with someone without their permission makes it rape.

This seems like a completely irrelevant point. How exactly is rape connected to this discussion?

read the thread back—the angry guy said the both partners should get decide if the wife wants to have sex and that by doing it any other way creates a master/slave relationship. consent is key to any sexual encounter. not a debatable thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women should just let their man go get release through a prostitute. It's not that big of a deal.

Men don’t want prostitutes or “release.” They want connection and desire.

This post sounds like it was written by a woman in any case.

Most of the ones around here complaining about sexless marriages seem completely fine with the concept of having sex with their wives, whether or not their wives are turned on or into it. The decent ones say they want consent, but none seem interested in whether their wives enjoy it.

The tip is when they start talking about their wives making "unilateral" decisions to not have sex wiht their husbands as if the husband has any say in whether his wife will have sex with him.

You sound like a complete nut case. Marriage is a partnership, off course husband will have a say when THEY will have sex. Same goes for wife. Now if the husband or wife are a-hole or if they have gotten too fat, then it is understandable for their spouse not to have any desire.

Husbands don't get to decide whether their wife will have sex. They need to get consent.

Marriage is a partnership which means both partners have a say when they have sex. Asking for permission makes it a master/slave relationship not a partnership

Having sex with someone without their permission makes it rape.

This seems like a completely irrelevant point. How exactly is rape connected to this discussion?

read the thread back—the angry guy said the both partners should get decide if the wife wants to have sex and that by doing it any other way creates a master/slave relationship. consent is key to any sexual encounter. not a debatable thing.

I think you are totally misreading these posts. No one is talking about forcing someone reluctant to have sex or engage in sexual activity. We are talking about the root issues, which are why doesn’t this person want to have sex with their spouse to begin with?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Therapy only works when a party is willing.

and able.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women should just let their man go get release through a prostitute. It's not that big of a deal.

Men don’t want prostitutes or “release.” They want connection and desire.

This post sounds like it was written by a woman in any case.

Most of the ones around here complaining about sexless marriages seem completely fine with the concept of having sex with their wives, whether or not their wives are turned on or into it. The decent ones say they want consent, but none seem interested in whether their wives enjoy it.

The tip is when they start talking about their wives making "unilateral" decisions to not have sex wiht their husbands as if the husband has any say in whether his wife will have sex with him.

You sound like a complete nut case. Marriage is a partnership, off course husband will have a say when THEY will have sex. Same goes for wife. Now if the husband or wife are a-hole or if they have gotten too fat, then it is understandable for their spouse not to have any desire.

Husbands don't get to decide whether their wife will have sex. They need to get consent.

Marriage is a partnership which means both partners have a say when they have sex. Asking for permission makes it a master/slave relationship not a partnership

Having sex with someone without their permission makes it rape.

This seems like a completely irrelevant point. How exactly is rape connected to this discussion?

read the thread back—the angry guy said the both partners should get decide if the wife wants to have sex and that by doing it any other way creates a master/slave relationship. consent is key to any sexual encounter. not a debatable thing.

I think you are totally misreading these posts. No one is talking about forcing someone reluctant to have sex or engage in sexual activity. We are talking about the root issues, which are why doesn’t this person want to have sex with their spouse to begin with?

because they're the type of person who thinks men should decide if their wives are goign to have sex? Seems like a big turnoff...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women should just let their man go get release through a prostitute. It's not that big of a deal.

Men don’t want prostitutes or “release.” They want connection and desire.

This post sounds like it was written by a woman in any case.

Most of the ones around here complaining about sexless marriages seem completely fine with the concept of having sex with their wives, whether or not their wives are turned on or into it. The decent ones say they want consent, but none seem interested in whether their wives enjoy it.

The tip is when they start talking about their wives making "unilateral" decisions to not have sex wiht their husbands as if the husband has any say in whether his wife will have sex with him.

You sound like a complete nut case. Marriage is a partnership, off course husband will have a say when THEY will have sex. Same goes for wife. Now if the husband or wife are a-hole or if they have gotten too fat, then it is understandable for their spouse not to have any desire.

Husbands don't get to decide whether their wife will have sex. They need to get consent.

Marriage is a partnership which means both partners have a say when they have sex. Asking for permission makes it a master/slave relationship not a partnership

Having sex with someone without their permission makes it rape.

This seems like a completely irrelevant point. How exactly is rape connected to this discussion?

read the thread back—the angry guy said the both partners should get decide if the wife wants to have sex and that by doing it any other way creates a master/slave relationship. consent is key to any sexual encounter. not a debatable thing.

I think you are totally misreading these posts. No one is talking about forcing someone reluctant to have sex or engage in sexual activity. We are talking about the root issues, which are why doesn’t this person want to have sex with their spouse to begin with?

Probably menopause. Why do so few people understand that there is more than one hormonal change in life?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women should just let their man go get release through a prostitute. It's not that big of a deal.

Men don’t want prostitutes or “release.” They want connection and desire.

This post sounds like it was written by a woman in any case.

Most of the ones around here complaining about sexless marriages seem completely fine with the concept of having sex with their wives, whether or not their wives are turned on or into it. The decent ones say they want consent, but none seem interested in whether their wives enjoy it.

The tip is when they start talking about their wives making "unilateral" decisions to not have sex wiht their husbands as if the husband has any say in whether his wife will have sex with him.

You sound like a complete nut case. Marriage is a partnership, off course husband will have a say when THEY will have sex. Same goes for wife. Now if the husband or wife are a-hole or if they have gotten too fat, then it is understandable for their spouse not to have any desire.

Husbands don't get to decide whether their wife will have sex. They need to get consent.

Marriage is a partnership which means both partners have a say when they have sex. Asking for permission makes it a master/slave relationship not a partnership

Having sex with someone without their permission makes it rape.

This seems like a completely irrelevant point. How exactly is rape connected to this discussion?

read the thread back—the angry guy said the both partners should get decide if the wife wants to have sex and that by doing it any other way creates a master/slave relationship. consent is key to any sexual encounter. not a debatable thing.

I think you are totally misreading these posts. No one is talking about forcing someone reluctant to have sex or engage in sexual activity. We are talking about the root issues, which are why doesn’t this person want to have sex with their spouse to begin with?

Probably menopause. Why do so few people understand that there is more than one hormonal change in life?

These men aren't genuinely interested in the why, they just want their wives to do it. Just go jerk off or get a divorce, leave the poor woman alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women should just let their man go get release through a prostitute. It's not that big of a deal.

Men don’t want prostitutes or “release.” They want connection and desire.

This post sounds like it was written by a woman in any case.

Most of the ones around here complaining about sexless marriages seem completely fine with the concept of having sex with their wives, whether or not their wives are turned on or into it. The decent ones say they want consent, but none seem interested in whether their wives enjoy it.

The tip is when they start talking about their wives making "unilateral" decisions to not have sex wiht their husbands as if the husband has any say in whether his wife will have sex with him.

You sound like a complete nut case. Marriage is a partnership, off course husband will have a say when THEY will have sex. Same goes for wife. Now if the husband or wife are a-hole or if they have gotten too fat, then it is understandable for their spouse not to have any desire.

Husbands don't get to decide whether their wife will have sex. They need to get consent.

Marriage is a partnership which means both partners have a say when they have sex. Asking for permission makes it a master/slave relationship not a partnership

Having sex with someone without their permission makes it rape.

This seems like a completely irrelevant point. How exactly is rape connected to this discussion?

read the thread back—the angry guy said the both partners should get decide if the wife wants to have sex and that by doing it any other way creates a master/slave relationship. consent is key to any sexual encounter. not a debatable thing.

I think you are totally misreading these posts. No one is talking about forcing someone reluctant to have sex or engage in sexual activity. We are talking about the root issues, which are why doesn’t this person want to have sex with their spouse to begin with?

Probably menopause. Why do so few people understand that there is more than one hormonal change in life?

These men aren't genuinely interested in the why, they just want their wives to do it. Just go jerk off or get a divorce, leave the poor woman alone.

I haven’t noticed this at all. Most posters who indicate their husband or wife no longer want to have sex with them seem sad, upset, and confused. If they just didn’t care, they would probably just go outside the marriage. This seems like your personal bugaboo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women should just let their man go get release through a prostitute. It's not that big of a deal.

Men don’t want prostitutes or “release.” They want connection and desire.

This post sounds like it was written by a woman in any case.

Most of the ones around here complaining about sexless marriages seem completely fine with the concept of having sex with their wives, whether or not their wives are turned on or into it. The decent ones say they want consent, but none seem interested in whether their wives enjoy it.

The tip is when they start talking about their wives making "unilateral" decisions to not have sex wiht their husbands as if the husband has any say in whether his wife will have sex with him.

You sound like a complete nut case. Marriage is a partnership, off course husband will have a say when THEY will have sex. Same goes for wife. Now if the husband or wife are a-hole or if they have gotten too fat, then it is understandable for their spouse not to have any desire.

Husbands don't get to decide whether their wife will have sex. They need to get consent.

Marriage is a partnership which means both partners have a say when they have sex. Asking for permission makes it a master/slave relationship not a partnership

Having sex with someone without their permission makes it rape.

This seems like a completely irrelevant point. How exactly is rape connected to this discussion?

read the thread back—the angry guy said the both partners should get decide if the wife wants to have sex and that by doing it any other way creates a master/slave relationship. consent is key to any sexual encounter. not a debatable thing.

I think you are totally misreading these posts. No one is talking about forcing someone reluctant to have sex or engage in sexual activity. We are talking about the root issues, which are why doesn’t this person want to have sex with their spouse to begin with?

Probably menopause. Why do so few people understand that there is more than one hormonal change in life?

These men aren't genuinely interested in the why, they just want their wives to do it. Just go jerk off or get a divorce, leave the poor woman alone.

I haven’t noticed this at all. Most posters who indicate their husband or wife no longer want to have sex with them seem sad, upset, and confused. If they just didn’t care, they would probably just go outside the marriage. This seems like your personal bugaboo.

I doubt many of them are actually married. It's just a thing to shout about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women should just let their man go get release through a prostitute. It's not that big of a deal.

Men don’t want prostitutes or “release.” They want connection and desire.

This post sounds like it was written by a woman in any case.

Most of the ones around here complaining about sexless marriages seem completely fine with the concept of having sex with their wives, whether or not their wives are turned on or into it. The decent ones say they want consent, but none seem interested in whether their wives enjoy it.

The tip is when they start talking about their wives making "unilateral" decisions to not have sex wiht their husbands as if the husband has any say in whether his wife will have sex with him.

You sound like a complete nut case. Marriage is a partnership, off course husband will have a say when THEY will have sex. Same goes for wife. Now if the husband or wife are a-hole or if they have gotten too fat, then it is understandable for their spouse not to have any desire.

Husbands don't get to decide whether their wife will have sex. They need to get consent.

Marriage is a partnership which means both partners have a say when they have sex. Asking for permission makes it a master/slave relationship not a partnership

Having sex with someone without their permission makes it rape.

This seems like a completely irrelevant point. How exactly is rape connected to this discussion?

read the thread back—the angry guy said the both partners should get decide if the wife wants to have sex and that by doing it any other way creates a master/slave relationship. consent is key to any sexual encounter. not a debatable thing.

I think you are totally misreading these posts. No one is talking about forcing someone reluctant to have sex or engage in sexual activity. We are talking about the root issues, which are why doesn’t this person want to have sex with their spouse to begin with?

And at the crux of that question is the spouse feigning ignorance about why someone doesn’t want to sleep with them, yet they continue to whine, ask, guilt trip, bully and worse about wanting sex asap.

So cart before the horse.

But. If and when the ignorant demanding spouse demands sex, as their duty, as they’re married, as their right, you open the consent and rape door quite quickly. Married or not.

So all very relevant.

Again, fix your relationship issues first. Sex is an output of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women should just let their man go get release through a prostitute. It's not that big of a deal.

Men don’t want prostitutes or “release.” They want connection and desire.

This post sounds like it was written by a woman in any case.

Most of the ones around here complaining about sexless marriages seem completely fine with the concept of having sex with their wives, whether or not their wives are turned on or into it. The decent ones say they want consent, but none seem interested in whether their wives enjoy it.

The tip is when they start talking about their wives making "unilateral" decisions to not have sex wiht their husbands as if the husband has any say in whether his wife will have sex with him.

You sound like a complete nut case. Marriage is a partnership, off course husband will have a say when THEY will have sex. Same goes for wife. Now if the husband or wife are a-hole or if they have gotten too fat, then it is understandable for their spouse not to have any desire.

Husbands don't get to decide whether their wife will have sex. They need to get consent.

Marriage is a partnership which means both partners have a say when they have sex. Asking for permission makes it a master/slave relationship not a partnership

Having sex with someone without their permission makes it rape.

This seems like a completely irrelevant point. How exactly is rape connected to this discussion?

read the thread back—the angry guy said the both partners should get decide if the wife wants to have sex and that by doing it any other way creates a master/slave relationship. consent is key to any sexual encounter. not a debatable thing.

I think you are totally misreading these posts. No one is talking about forcing someone reluctant to have sex or engage in sexual activity. We are talking about the root issues, which are why doesn’t this person want to have sex with their spouse to begin with?

Probably menopause. Why do so few people understand that there is more than one hormonal change in life?

9 times out of 10 it’s a shit partner and marriage. After being hurt and let down so frequently over the years, who wants to sleep with that. No one.

[Anonymous]

I also recommend couples counseling.

I know it sounds counter-intuitive because the last thing you want is another conversation talking your partner into sex - you don't want sympathy sex. But it may help clear the air on grievances that preclude intimacy.

I could have written your post - we were 2-6x a year for years. There was absolutely nothing that I could do to be happy without sexual intimacy. I ended up cheating but thankfully didn't get caught, and it wasn't worth the stress in the end. Going to counseling helped, I think my spouse realized I was ready to leave the marriage and we made efforts to improve.

[Anonymous]

OP, do you know why your spouse isnt interested in sex? Is it physical for them ie the act doesnt feel pleasurable for them any longer? Or is it more emotional, ie there is something getting in the way of their desiring you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women should just let their man go get release through a prostitute. It's not that big of a deal.

Men don’t want prostitutes or “release.” They want connection and desire.

This post sounds like it was written by a woman in any case.

Most of the ones around here complaining about sexless marriages seem completely fine with the concept of having sex with their wives, whether or not their wives are turned on or into it. The decent ones say they want consent, but none seem interested in whether their wives enjoy it.

The tip is when they start talking about their wives making "unilateral" decisions to not have sex wiht their husbands as if the husband has any say in whether his wife will have sex with him.

You sound like a complete nut case. Marriage is a partnership, off course husband will have a say when THEY will have sex. Same goes for wife. Now if the husband or wife are a-hole or if they have gotten too fat, then it is understandable for their spouse not to have any desire.

Husbands don't get to decide whether their wife will have sex. They need to get consent.

Marriage is a partnership which means both partners have a say when they have sex. Asking for permission makes it a master/slave relationship not a partnership

Having sex with someone without their permission makes it rape.

This seems like a completely irrelevant point. How exactly is rape connected to this discussion?

read the thread back—the angry guy said the both partners should get decide if the wife wants to have sex and that by doing it any other way creates a master/slave relationship. consent is key to any sexual encounter. not a debatable thing.

I think you are totally misreading these posts. No one is talking about forcing someone reluctant to have sex or engage in sexual activity. We are talking about the root issues, which are why doesn’t this person want to have sex with their spouse to begin with?

And at the crux of that question is the spouse feigning ignorance about why someone doesn’t want to sleep with them, yet they continue to whine, ask, guilt trip, bully and worse about wanting sex asap.

So cart before the horse.

But. If and when the ignorant demanding spouse demands sex, as their duty, as they’re married, as their right, you open the consent and rape door quite quickly. Married or not.

So all very relevant.

Again, fix your relationship issues first. Sex is an output of that.

This post makes you seem like you have a very definite bias or agenda, and that you are not trying to be thoughtful or helpful.

It’s not exactly productive to tell someone that they are selfish, ignorant, and demanding when they are asking about a marriage problem. I guess your advice is to “fix your relationship issues” but that seems pretty obvious, no?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women should just let their man go get release through a prostitute. It's not that big of a deal.

Men don’t want prostitutes or “release.” They want connection and desire.

This post sounds like it was written by a woman in any case.

Most of the ones around here complaining about sexless marriages seem completely fine with the concept of having sex with their wives, whether or not their wives are turned on or into it. The decent ones say they want consent, but none seem interested in whether their wives enjoy it.

The tip is when they start talking about their wives making "unilateral" decisions to not have sex wiht their husbands as if the husband has any say in whether his wife will have sex with him.

You sound like a complete nut case. Marriage is a partnership, off course husband will have a say when THEY will have sex. Same goes for wife. Now if the husband or wife are a-hole or if they have gotten too fat, then it is understandable for their spouse not to have any desire.

Husbands don't get to decide whether their wife will have sex. They need to get consent.

Marriage is a partnership which means both partners have a say when they have sex. Asking for permission makes it a master/slave relationship not a partnership

Having sex with someone without their permission makes it rape.

This seems like a completely irrelevant point. How exactly is rape connected to this discussion?

read the thread back—the angry guy said the both partners should get decide if the wife wants to have sex and that by doing it any other way creates a master/slave relationship. consent is key to any sexual encounter. not a debatable thing.

I think you are totally misreading these posts. No one is talking about forcing someone reluctant to have sex or engage in sexual activity. We are talking about the root issues, which are why doesn’t this person want to have sex with their spouse to begin with?

And at the crux of that question is the spouse feigning ignorance about why someone doesn’t want to sleep with them, yet they continue to whine, ask, guilt trip, bully and worse about wanting sex asap.

So cart before the horse.

But. If and when the ignorant demanding spouse demands sex, as their duty, as they’re married, as their right, you open the consent and rape door quite quickly. Married or not.

So all very relevant.

Again, fix your relationship issues first. Sex is an output of that.

This post makes you seem like you have a very definite bias or agenda, and that you are not trying to be thoughtful or helpful.

It’s not exactly productive to tell someone that they are selfish, ignorant, and demanding when they are asking about a marriage problem. I guess your advice is to “fix your relationship issues” but that seems pretty obvious, no?

God how much of a loser are you if you can't get your wife to sleep with you? Just get divorced dude. Stop whining about it here.