How Much of an Inheritance is Too Much for Kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Enough to do anything they want with their lives. Not so much that they can do nothing.

This is the truest statement. So the answer, Op, is $2-3m. They would still need to work - but could live incredibly well even on a teacher or hairdresser's salary if that's the field they chose. More than $5 million and believe me, they will do nothing. My most worthless manchild cousins are the ones who received $10M -- unemployed, not involved in the community, and still cry to mommy for more.

Thank your giving thoughtful feedback. But how do I discourage them from taking a low paying job and making up for it with the inheritance. If they are not capable of working in a higher paying jobs it’s fine, but I don’t want a lazy smart kid to rely on the money.

You seriously have nothing better to do with your time? How sad that a man with no kids in his thirties is spending his time like this. Me? I’m in my 50s and am a parent, so I have an excuse. Once you actually make real money, you will go to a lawyer who specializes in estate planning like all the rich grown ups do. She will tell you what her other rich clients do and the pros and cons of structuring trusts. You will learn that you set up trusts with conditions, etc. For now, why you do something more productive.

I already know about trusts. I used to do consulting for people that had SLATs, GRATs, etc. They would leave their kids like 20-30M+ each and it honestly didn't seem to affect behavior of the kids much. They were still going to medical school or working at startups and stuff like that. It just made me hesitant be because it seems like about 75%-80% of the clients kids were fine. However, for the the 20% that turned out badly having access to this wealth absolutely ruined them.

[Anonymous]

Who cares? Don’t be weird and you might have a family instead of an imaginary one. Just stop being weird. Women don’t want weird

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who cares? Don’t be weird and you might have a family instead of an imaginary one. Just stop being weird. Women don’t want weird

I’m already in a relationship, so this feedback is not relevant. Thanks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I don't think there is a "too much" until you get into the billions, OP.

I plan to leave a similar amount to my kids, and I don't consider it life-changing for them in the slightest.

Most people, including intelligent people on DCUM, are unable to assess inflation correctly.
Your 8-20M won't provide what you think it can provide when you finally kick the bucket.

Come back to reality—-inheriting 3-5M is life changing for 99.9% of people

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Enough to do anything they want with their lives. Not so much that they can do nothing.

This is more a grandchildren question because your children are likely to be at least middle aged when you die.

Grand kids can easily be 25-30 when they die. To be truly life changing in a good way (imo) you need to structure it so your kids and grandkids get education for free/debt free. Having some of that money in mid twenty’s or 30s is much more impactful than at 55

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m from an extended family with branches who have taken different approaches and my conclusion is that it doesn’t matter as far as how your kids turn out overall unless someone is really off the rails already. Some of them (especially the girls) may work less or doing something less lucrative than they otherwise might have done, but no differently than from any other windfall.

I do think parents or grandparents who are sitting on a lot but don’t give anything can cause some resentment but that’s really a personal thing and again I don’t think it changes the adult children much if at all.

Hmm that's interesting, I don't want to incentives bad behavior either. It somewhat defeats the purpose of giving them an inheritance if they end up getting a degree in social work at Yale or something. I don't want them to take a low paying job because of it.

Why not? While I agree I wouldn’t attend Yale if goal is social work, the entire benefit of an inhritance/$1m at 25 is knowing you can choose any job you love and dedicate yourself to it, even if it’s not higher paying.

We need quality SW, nurses, teachers, etc. but many avoid it because of the pay

[Anonymous]

You don’t even have kids yet? Do whatever you want and adjust if you ever have them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Enough to do anything they want with their lives. Not so much that they can do nothing.

This is the truest statement. So the answer, Op, is $2-3m. They would still need to work - but could live incredibly well even on a teacher or hairdresser's salary if that's the field they chose. More than $5 million and believe me, they will do nothing. My most worthless manchild cousins are the ones who received $10M -- unemployed, not involved in the community, and still cry to mommy for more.

That’s more to do with the individual being a loser than them having 10m.

Our kids know they will get 5-10m each, possibly more. They still work hard, don’t waste money, save and build their careers. Don’t expect them to quit their jobs even when we gift them $500k for a downpayment

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I don't think there is a "too much" until you get into the billions, OP.

I plan to leave a similar amount to my kids, and I don't consider it life-changing for them in the slightest.

Most people, including intelligent people on DCUM, are unable to assess inflation correctly.
Your 8-20M won't provide what you think it can provide when you finally kick the bucket.

Come back to reality—-inheriting 3-5M is life changing for 99.9% of people

Perhaps not with inflation. OP doesn’t even have kids yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I don't think there is a "too much" until you get into the billions, OP.

I plan to leave a similar amount to my kids, and I don't consider it life-changing for them in the slightest.

Most people, including intelligent people on DCUM, are unable to assess inflation correctly.
Your 8-20M won't provide what you think it can provide when you finally kick the bucket.

Come back to reality—-inheriting 3-5M is life changing for 99.9% of people

Perhaps not with inflation. OP doesn’t even have kids yet.

These numbers are inflation adjusted and I’m assuming that my investment returns will be equal to what was experienced during the worst 30 year period out of the past 150 years.

[Anonymous]

At the numbers you’re mentioning, the inheritance won’t be the primary driver in how motivated your kids are.

I wish I could tell you what will motivate them, because then I’d be rich enough not care if I had lazy kids.

I’ve got cousins who aren’t going to inherit much more than belly-button lint, and they can’t hold down a job for more than a few months.

My siblings and I are likely to inherit a few million each in when we are in our 50s/60s and while we are all self-sufficient, there is a range of how ambitious and frugal we are.

[Anonymous]

OP I feel like this was just a way for you to write out what you have to brag about it. Big whoop, it is pretty typical in DCUMland. Maybe you shouldn't have these hypothetical kids though if you are already wondering how you can screw them out of their future inheritance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Enough to do anything they want with their lives. Not so much that they can do nothing.

This is the truest statement. So the answer, Op, is $2-3m. They would still need to work - but could live incredibly well even on a teacher or hairdresser's salary if that's the field they chose. More than $5 million and believe me, they will do nothing. My most worthless manchild cousins are the ones who received $10M -- unemployed, not involved in the community, and still cry to mommy for more.

Thank your giving thoughtful feedback. But how do I discourage them from taking a low paying job and making up for it with the inheritance. If they are not capable of working in a higher paying jobs it’s fine, but I don’t want a lazy smart kid to rely on the money.

There are plenty of worthwhile "low paying" jobs. And ones that really matter to society at that. And don't try to control them with money. Either give it to them or don't.

+1. I have two cousins whose father was very successful in business - and never home. Both are social workers and their parents were fine with their careers. My aunt and uncle had a lot of money but aunt needed a lot of care in her final years (10+) so the final estate was much less than it was when my uncle died and was not life changing for my cousins.

You cannot control the future. You can teach your kids values so they handle money responsibly.

[Anonymous]

I just don’t think living off an inheritance is so terrible. As long as my kids are doing something productive and are healthy and happy and good people, I’m fine. But we all have different priorities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Enough to do anything they want with their lives. Not so much that they can do nothing.

This is the truest statement. So the answer, Op, is $2-3m. They would still need to work - but could live incredibly well even on a teacher or hairdresser's salary if that's the field they chose. More than $5 million and believe me, they will do nothing. My most worthless manchild cousins are the ones who received $10M -- unemployed, not involved in the community, and still cry to mommy for more.

Thank your giving thoughtful feedback. But how do I discourage them from taking a low paying job and making up for it with the inheritance. If they are not capable of working in a higher paying jobs it’s fine, but I don’t want a lazy smart kid to rely on the money.

There are plenty of worthwhile "low paying" jobs. And ones that really matter to society at that. And don't try to control them with money. Either give it to them or don't.

+1. I have two cousins whose father was very successful in business - and never home. Both are social workers and their parents were fine with their careers. My aunt and uncle had a lot of money but aunt needed a lot of care in her final years (10+) so the final estate was much less than it was when my uncle died and was not life changing for my cousins.

You cannot control the future. You can teach your kids values so they handle money responsibly.

I went to a funeral once that was truly life changing for me. A parade of the the deceased’s colleagues came up to tout his professional accomplishments. And his daughter gave a very searing, raw, and I think fair speech. It has really stayed with me.