Freshman year at college is over for most...what did you learn?

[Anonymous]

I learned how neurotic other parents are and how overbearing and infantilizing they are with their kids, and how that in turn creates 17-19 yr olds who aren't capable of doing anything without step by step instructions from their parents. I learned that my instincts to encourage my kids to figure things out and be proud of their independence were the right way to go.

[Anonymous]

These posts should give parents confidence to trust (not take over) their kid's decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I learned how neurotic other parents are and how overbearing and infantilizing they are with their kids, and how that in turn creates 17-19 yr olds who aren't capable of doing anything without step by step instructions from their parents. I learned that my instincts to encourage my kids to figure things out and be proud of their independence were the right way to go.

It strikes me as strange you think you really know 1) how other parents are, 2) what this causes, 3) believe that there are 17-19 year olds "who aren't capable of doing anything without step by step instructions from their parents" . To me, you sound like you are comparing yourself to a straw-person of your own creation. Look over other comments--most people are proud of their kids on their own terms and don't feel a need to denigrate all other parents and children to claim yours is "the right way to go."

[Anonymous]

I learned to unfriend the parents Facebook page before I started to really dislike the entire parent community.

there are so many parents out there who are terrible at parenting. track their kids. call to wake their kids up. follow the Citizen app for the college town (and then post online .. what was up with x or y). WRITE PAPERS FOR THEIR KIDS - AND THEN COMPLAIN ABOUT THE GRADING - IN PUBLIC.

it's nutso

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I learned to unfriend the parents Facebook page before I started to really dislike the entire parent community.

there are so many parents out there who are terrible at parenting. track their kids. call to wake their kids up. follow the Citizen app for the college town (and then post online .. what was up with x or y). WRITE PAPERS FOR THEIR KIDS - AND THEN COMPLAIN ABOUT THE GRADING - IN PUBLIC.

it's nutso

I can't for the life of me ever imagine doing this. I would ChatGPT the f**k out of that paper if I had to write it.

Can you imagine telling the professor..."I didn't use AI, my mom used it to write my paper...it's not my fault".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I learned to unfriend the parents Facebook page before I started to really dislike the entire parent community.

there are so many parents out there who are terrible at parenting. track their kids. call to wake their kids up. follow the Citizen app for the college town (and then post online .. what was up with x or y). WRITE PAPERS FOR THEIR KIDS - AND THEN COMPLAIN ABOUT THE GRADING - IN PUBLIC.

it's nutso

,,,what college is this? honest Q. parent fb has a lot of helicopter parents, but i have never seen anything like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I learned how neurotic other parents are and how overbearing and infantilizing they are with their kids, and how that in turn creates 17-19 yr olds who aren't capable of doing anything without step by step instructions from their parents. I learned that my instincts to encourage my kids to figure things out and be proud of their independence were the right way to go.

It strikes me as strange you think you really know 1) how other parents are, 2) what this causes, 3) believe that there are 17-19 year olds "who aren't capable of doing anything without step by step instructions from their parents" . To me, you sound like you are comparing yourself to a straw-person of your own creation. Look over other comments--most people are proud of their kids on their own terms and don't feel a need to denigrate all other parents and children to claim yours is "the right way to go."

Sounds like you feel personally attacked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our relatives learned that sorority membership at a large Southern public university is expensive and materialistic. Also discovered that the school year isn't really divided by semesters or by quarters, but by formals.

But… but… everyone is pretty and the weather is perfect all the time!

True and true.

Also, the members of the sorority study a lot as student GPAs are a serious matter house by house.

I’m the PP, I’m from the South, and that was sarcasm. Somehow DCUM has this weird idea that the South is some kind of Stepford paradise.

But the sorority GPA thing is true. We had a dedicated study room, and mandatory study hours for pledges. I think we also had a minimum GPA to remain an active member.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I learned how neurotic other parents are and how overbearing and infantilizing they are with their kids, and how that in turn creates 17-19 yr olds who aren't capable of doing anything without step by step instructions from their parents. I learned that my instincts to encourage my kids to figure things out and be proud of their independence were the right way to go.

It strikes me as strange you think you really know 1) how other parents are, 2) what this causes, 3) believe that there are 17-19 year olds "who aren't capable of doing anything without step by step instructions from their parents" . To me, you sound like you are comparing yourself to a straw-person of your own creation. Look over other comments--most people are proud of their kids on their own terms and don't feel a need to denigrate all other parents and children to claim yours is "the right way to go."

Sounds like you feel personally attacked.

No, I would say that my tendency is to let my kids figure things out too. My eldest has graduated college a year ago, found a job right away and is self-sustaining. My younger kids are fairly independent and self-directed too -- the one in their first year of college figured out their housing and internship on their own and my youngest just told me they applied for a summer job at the mall (though not likely to get it since they aren't even 15 until mid-summer). It just strikes me as stunted and strange when people feel they need to overgeneralize and denigrate others to feel right in their choices, essentially this person says what they learned from their kid going to college is that "other parents suck but I don't."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I learned to unfriend the parents Facebook page before I started to really dislike the entire parent community.

there are so many parents out there who are terrible at parenting. track their kids. call to wake their kids up. follow the Citizen app for the college town (and then post online .. what was up with x or y). WRITE PAPERS FOR THEIR KIDS - AND THEN COMPLAIN ABOUT THE GRADING - IN PUBLIC.

it's nutso

Wow, that’s crazy!

[Anonymous]

I learned that complete recovery from senioritis is possible! My kid found every single assignment during senior year a terrible burden and I was concerned about his interest/ability in keeping up w college work but needn’t have been. HS graduation really did magically cure things!

[Anonymous]

I just wan to add that I should have trusted my son and his instincts. We pushed him to accept top 20 admissions. But he didn't want that life.

Its great to see him flourish at his university. Im so happy that he did well and had an outstanding freshman year!

[Anonymous]

Not sure.. DD seems pretty lost in a large school. Sleeps all day, almost never go to any classes, poor grades. she made lot is friends and seems to be happy there though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not sure.. DD seems pretty lost in a large school. Sleeps all day, almost never go to any classes, poor grades. she made lot is friends and seems to be happy there though.

I do really hope that you have a heart to heart with her this summer. This sounds like someone who is partying too much, which yes is a part of college and yes can be a big part of freshman year, but they need to start taking it seriously now, it's not all fun and games.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ivy, not done yet! DC kicked butt and did impressively well in a very competitive environment. Got to know professors, had mostly small classes, found friends and garnered club leadership too.

Glad your kid had a good year, but no need to name drop/brag list this.
I think you missed the point here.