Downsizing when you age or empty nesters?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t downsize to a townhouse. Many have over 30 steps. Not good for aging knees.

Master suit on ground floor is a must after 60.

You must be young! Most people in their 60s are fine with stairs.

I'm 63 and just did a hike yesterday that is the equivalent of 60 flights of stairs. Use it or lose it.

Our beloved neighbor died late last year from a fall in her home with lots of stairs. She tumbled down the stairs. She was of sound mind and very active, but in her early 80s and broke her hip. Health failed while in the hospital and died after a few weeks of convalescence.

Once you hit 80, you are one fall away from dying. Or living the rest of your life with much more restricted mobility (but might as well be dead TBH). The fall itself might not even kill you, but the injuries from the fall kick off a cascade of health issues that wreck your quality-of-life and eventually kills you.

Okay, but that's when you're 80. You don't have to spend 30 years in a single story home just because you worry about falling down and breaking your hip in your 80s.

I think it is useful to think about retirement in stages. We intend to retire around 58, and DH and I are both in great health. We've also worked hard at our jobs and raising our kid for the last 30 years -- we want to travel, spend time together, enjoy some hobbies, and enjoy life. For us, that's a two story house in the city, in a walkable neighborhood, with some outdoor space for entertaining and travel but not a giant yard to maintain. I do think living in a home and neighborhood that encourages lots of physical activity is smart -- walking, gardening, hiking, biking, etc.

When we're mid-to-late 70s, we'll reassess and it may be time to move to a condo or even semi-assisted living at that point. Also at some point (hopefully as far away as possible, but at some point) one of us is going to pass and I think living in a two story home on your own in your 80s is a bad idea. So we probably won't do that.

But we are not going to prematurely move to the late-70s and 80s phase of retirement at 58! We want to enjoy that part, and in that part, we are not one fall away from death. We are a healthy, active couple in their 50s who want a fairly urban lifestyle and a lot of activity. So we'll make a housing choice based on those needs and not skip them just because we worry about falling down the stairs 25 years from now. That's like buying a 4 bedroom house in the burbs at 18 because you intend to get married and have kids in your 30s. It makes no sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is more of a finance question than a real estate or midlife one, so posting here.
What are you doing with your real estate options when you get to say 55, or when you are empty nesters? Are you downsizing? Moving to a TH? Aging in place? Keeping a larger home for family gatherings, grandkids? What’s your plan?

Is this post from 1975? Empty Nestor at 55 ready to retire?

That was back when my Uncles were cops and Firemen married HS sweethearts young and by 55 a full pension and kids long gone. Kids just went an inexpensive local college.

Today men and women are having kids much later. Their kids are having kids much later and college costs are insane.

When I was 55 I had a 16, 14 and 10 year old at home.

Hence the issue downsizing no longer works

My youngest graduates college when I am 67 and then wants to move home for grad school.

Then until they are married with kids I am still hosting holidays.

I thought I was an old parent but tons and tons parents my age at school.

My friend is 61 with a 13, 11 and 6 year old at home. Had last kid he was 55, wife 45.

55 year olds are still having kids and 25-30 years from retirement.

There are also plenty of people that age who become empty nesters, retire, and downsize.

+1. We are currently 44 and will have an empty nest in 5 years. (Had first at 28 and second at 31.)

[Anonymous]

Take in boarders.

[Anonymous]

I bought a small cape “starter home” in my 30s. I always joked it would work for me when I’m 80 since there’s a bedroom and bath on the first floor. Fast forward 25 years and I’m still here.

Had DD soon after moving in, and now she’s grown and flown, but still lives fairly close. And since the house is small, there’s not much to downsize to. At this rate I’ll still be here at 80.

[Anonymous]

Even if you can do stairs as an older person, everyone might have periods of appreciating a bed/full bath on the main level. A week/two or several months of an injury. Not uncommon. More common when older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is more of a finance question than a real estate or midlife one, so posting here.
What are you doing with your real estate options when you get to say 55, or when you are empty nesters? Are you downsizing? Moving to a TH? Aging in place? Keeping a larger home for family gatherings, grandkids? What’s your plan?

Is this post from 1975? Empty Nestor at 55 ready to retire?

That was back when my Uncles were cops and Firemen married HS sweethearts young and by 55 a full pension and kids long gone. Kids just went an inexpensive local college.

Today men and women are having kids much later. Their kids are having kids much later and college costs are insane.

When I was 55 I had a 16, 14 and 10 year old at home.

Hence the issue downsizing no longer works

My youngest graduates college when I am 67 and then wants to move home for grad school.

Then until they are married with kids I am still hosting holidays.

I thought I was an old parent but tons and tons parents my age at school.

My friend is 61 with a 13, 11 and 6 year old at home. Had last kid he was 55, wife 45.

55 year olds are still having kids and 25-30 years from retirement.

Well I had first kid at 30 and at 52 last kid started college, at 56 that kid will be done with college and onto grad school or gainfully employed. Your choice to wait until you were 37 and into 40s to continue having kids. All part of life plans---if you keep having kids until you are 45, you won't be retiring until you are 65+.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is more of a finance question than a real estate or midlife one, so posting here.
What are you doing with your real estate options when you get to say 55, or when you are empty nesters? Are you downsizing? Moving to a TH? Aging in place? Keeping a larger home for family gatherings, grandkids? What’s your plan?

Is this post from 1975? Empty Nestor at 55 ready to retire?

That was back when my Uncles were cops and Firemen married HS sweethearts young and by 55 a full pension and kids long gone. Kids just went an inexpensive local college.

Today men and women are having kids much later. Their kids are having kids much later and college costs are insane.

When I was 55 I had a 16, 14 and 10 year old at home.

Hence the issue downsizing no longer works

My youngest graduates college when I am 67 and then wants to move home for grad school.

Then until they are married with kids I am still hosting holidays.

I thought I was an old parent but tons and tons parents my age at school.

My friend is 61 with a 13, 11 and 6 year old at home. Had last kid he was 55, wife 45.

55 year olds are still having kids and 25-30 years from retirement.

There are also plenty of people that age who become empty nesters, retire, and downsize.

Yup! Did have kid until almost 30, was done by 35, by 52 last kid was off to college.
Sold big family home and moved into our 2 bed/2bath condo in the city. Won't retire until kid is done with college but we could if we really wanted to, the money is ready and waiting

DOn't know about most people, but I don't want to be over 60 and still have kids on my payroll/supporting my kids because they are not yet out of college. So we chose not to have a kid at 40+

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t downsize to a townhouse. Many have over 30 steps. Not good for aging knees.

Master suit on ground floor is a must after 60.

You must be young! Most people in their 60s are fine with stairs.

I'm 63 and just did a hike yesterday that is the equivalent of 60 flights of stairs. Use it or lose it.

Our beloved neighbor died late last year from a fall in her home with lots of stairs. She tumbled down the stairs. She was of sound mind and very active, but in her early 80s and broke her hip. Health failed while in the hospital and died after a few weeks of convalescence.

Once you hit 80, you are one fall away from dying. Or living the rest of your life with much more restricted mobility (but might as well be dead TBH). The fall itself might not even kill you, but the injuries from the fall kick off a cascade of health issues that wreck your quality-of-life and eventually kills you.

Okay, but that's when you're 80. You don't have to spend 30 years in a single story home just because you worry about falling down and breaking your hip in your 80s.

I think it is useful to think about retirement in stages. We intend to retire around 58, and DH and I are both in great health. We've also worked hard at our jobs and raising our kid for the last 30 years -- we want to travel, spend time together, enjoy some hobbies, and enjoy life. For us, that's a two story house in the city, in a walkable neighborhood, with some outdoor space for entertaining and travel but not a giant yard to maintain. I do think living in a home and neighborhood that encourages lots of physical activity is smart -- walking, gardening, hiking, biking, etc.

When we're mid-to-late 70s, we'll reassess and it may be time to move to a condo or even semi-assisted living at that point. Also at some point (hopefully as far away as possible, but at some point) one of us is going to pass and I think living in a two story home on your own in your 80s is a bad idea. So we probably won't do that.

But we are not going to prematurely move to the late-70s and 80s phase of retirement at 58! We want to enjoy that part, and in that part, we are not one fall away from death. We are a healthy, active couple in their 50s who want a fairly urban lifestyle and a lot of activity. So we'll make a housing choice based on those needs and not skip them just because we worry about falling down the stairs 25 years from now. That's like buying a 4 bedroom house in the burbs at 18 because you intend to get married and have kids in your 30s. It makes no sense.

However, if you purchase a new place in your 50s/early 60s, it does make sense to ensure you have at least 1 bedroom and full bath on the main floor. Just in case you have an injury or accident and are not able to do stairs for a time period. You don't want to struggle to live in your home or be forced to rent somewhere for 2 months during recovery or sell your home and buy a new place once you no longer can do stairs. Let the process be gradual

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is more of a finance question than a real estate or midlife one, so posting here.
What are you doing with your real estate options when you get to say 55, or when you are empty nesters? Are you downsizing? Moving to a TH? Aging in place? Keeping a larger home for family gatherings, grandkids? What’s your plan?

Is this post from 1975? Empty Nestor at 55 ready to retire?

That was back when my Uncles were cops and Firemen married HS sweethearts young and by 55 a full pension and kids long gone. Kids just went an inexpensive local college.

Today men and women are having kids much later. Their kids are having kids much later and college costs are insane.

When I was 55 I had a 16, 14 and 10 year old at home.

Hence the issue downsizing no longer works

My youngest graduates college when I am 67 and then wants to move home for grad school.

Then until they are married with kids I am still hosting holidays.

I thought I was an old parent but tons and tons parents my age at school.

My friend is 61 with a 13, 11 and 6 year old at home. Had last kid he was 55, wife 45.

55 year olds are still having kids and 25-30 years from retirement.

Well I had first kid at 30 and at 52 last kid started college, at 56 that kid will be done with college and onto grad school or gainfully employed. Your choice to wait until you were 37 and into 40s to continue having kids. All part of life plans---if you keep having kids until you are 45, you won't be retiring until you are 65+.

BTW my MIL who got married very young at 19 and was a grandmother at 40 still lives in the same home she owns since 1965. She still hosts Xmas for 40 people. I’m fact she is hosting an engagement party a grandchild this spring. She also has great grandchildren, if anything marrying young, having kids young made it harder to downsize.

And it is not about having kids young it is how many? I had my last kid at 45 when my wife 42 and the choice came down to killing my unborn child or retiring sooner. Either decision in a way was selfish being older parents or just choosing to not have a kid solely cause I want to retire younger.

But mathematically people are wanting to be doctors, lawyers, get MBAs or Masters on DCUM, then work in career then get married and have career settled are having kids 33-45 women and 36-49 men. Add in the huge expense and time to do undergrad and grad you only really start work at 25. Retiring at 55 is crazy. Plus if you aspire your own kids to go on to next level you have to keep working.

Finally people are buying their trade up homes much later in life. My block the average buyer is 45-55. Downsizing at 55 is hard when you only bought house at 52.

And the added wrinkle is upsizing in retirement. My brothers his in laws retired young at 55 and bought a larger 3,000 sf house in Florida. Recently they downsized at 85 to a two bedroom condo on one level.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is more of a finance question than a real estate or midlife one, so posting here.
What are you doing with your real estate options when you get to say 55, or when you are empty nesters? Are you downsizing? Moving to a TH? Aging in place? Keeping a larger home for family gatherings, grandkids? What’s your plan?

Is this post from 1975? Empty Nestor at 55 ready to retire?

That was back when my Uncles were cops and Firemen married HS sweethearts young and by 55 a full pension and kids long gone. Kids just went an inexpensive local college.

Today men and women are having kids much later. Their kids are having kids much later and college costs are insane.

When I was 55 I had a 16, 14 and 10 year old at home.

Hence the issue downsizing no longer works

My youngest graduates college when I am 67 and then wants to move home for grad school.

Then until they are married with kids I am still hosting holidays.

I thought I was an old parent but tons and tons parents my age at school.

My friend is 61 with a 13, 11 and 6 year old at home. Had last kid he was 55, wife 45.

55 year olds are still having kids and 25-30 years from retirement.

There are also plenty of people that age who become empty nesters, retire, and downsize.

Yup! Did have kid until almost 30, was done by 35, by 52 last kid was off to college.
Sold big family home and moved into our 2 bed/2bath condo in the city. Won't retire until kid is done with college but we could if we really wanted to, the money is ready and waiting

DOn't know about most people, but I don't want to be over 60 and still have kids on my payroll/supporting my kids because they are not yet out of college. So we chose not to have a kid at 40+

Big plus by working later my SS and 401k will be huge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a large city house in Dc and beach house currently.

After the kids go to college, we will sell the DC house.

We'll keep the beach house. We might upgrade it between now and then if we can get something larger.

We will add a condo/ coop in Manhattan and add something else. That something else could be all over the place. We've considered something in the Caribbean, a ranch, another condo or coop in a large city.

We tried this.

Ugh hated living at beach full time .

Sold beach place. Doctors and vets were too hard to make appointments and nothing to do in the winter…

Pp said they would also have another place.

2 other places actually. At least 3 total.

[Anonymous]

It cost a lot of money to buy and sell. As my father said, why downsize to a smaller house in his mid - late 70s only to have to sell it again within a decade to move into assisted living/retirement. They're staying in the house till they know they absolutely have to move to a retirement community.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is more of a finance question than a real estate or midlife one, so posting here.
What are you doing with your real estate options when you get to say 55, or when you are empty nesters? Are you downsizing? Moving to a TH? Aging in place? Keeping a larger home for family gatherings, grandkids? What’s your plan?

Is this post from 1975? Empty Nestor at 55 ready to retire?

That was back when my Uncles were cops and Firemen married HS sweethearts young and by 55 a full pension and kids long gone. Kids just went an inexpensive local college.

Today men and women are having kids much later. Their kids are having kids much later and college costs are insane.

When I was 55 I had a 16, 14 and 10 year old at home.

Hence the issue downsizing no longer works

My youngest graduates college when I am 67 and then wants to move home for grad school.

Then until they are married with kids I am still hosting holidays.

I thought I was an old parent but tons and tons parents my age at school.

My friend is 61 with a 13, 11 and 6 year old at home. Had last kid he was 55, wife 45.

55 year olds are still having kids and 25-30 years from retirement.

Well I had first kid at 30 and at 52 last kid started college, at 56 that kid will be done with college and onto grad school or gainfully employed. Your choice to wait until you were 37 and into 40s to continue having kids. All part of life plans---if you keep having kids until you are 45, you won't be retiring until you are 65+.

BTW my MIL who got married very young at 19 and was a grandmother at 40 still lives in the same home she owns since 1965. She still hosts Xmas for 40 people. I’m fact she is hosting an engagement party a grandchild this spring. She also has great grandchildren, if anything marrying young, having kids young made it harder to downsize.

And it is not about having kids young it is how many? I had my last kid at 45 when my wife 42 and the choice came down to killing my unborn child or retiring sooner. Either decision in a way was selfish being older parents or just choosing to not have a kid solely cause I want to retire younger.

But mathematically people are wanting to be doctors, lawyers, get MBAs or Masters on DCUM, then work in career then get married and have career settled are having kids 33-45 women and 36-49 men. Add in the huge expense and time to do undergrad and grad you only really start work at 25. Retiring at 55 is crazy. Plus if you aspire your own kids to go on to next level you have to keep working.

Finally people are buying their trade up homes much later in life. My block the average buyer is 45-55. Downsizing at 55 is hard when you only bought house at 52.

And the added wrinkle is upsizing in retirement. My brothers his in laws retired young at 55 and bought a larger 3,000 sf house in Florida. Recently they downsized at 85 to a two bedroom condo on one level.

I got two BS degrees (so 5 years) and then a 1.5 year MS program. Worked for 5 years then had first kid. Had next kid 4 years later. We plan to retire at 56/57. It's not crazy. We have plenty to fund our kids grad school/future education if they choose. Also plan to fully pay for any grandkids college. We knew we were done after 2 kids so made certain there wasn't an Oops baby in our 40s---we wanted to live life and travel, were happy to be done with the baby/ES age with kids.

If you want to keep working go for it. It was always our plan to retire around 56/57, when youngest finished college. We seriously have enough to retire while they are in college. Bought our retirement condo 8 years ago, renovated it to be ready when kid went to college. Then sold the 5K luxury home when kid went to college. Also bought a 2nd home (2500 sq ft, so downsizing a bit) 45 mins away on the water and renovated that fully. All homes and renovations fully paid for in cash (Over 6M). Why would we keep working?

Sure you can keep working, and owning a large home if you want. I don't want to have to clean a huge home that is only used on holidays. If we need more space we rent a home nearby for the occasion

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is more of a finance question than a real estate or midlife one, so posting here.
What are you doing with your real estate options when you get to say 55, or when you are empty nesters? Are you downsizing? Moving to a TH? Aging in place? Keeping a larger home for family gatherings, grandkids? What’s your plan?

Is this post from 1975? Empty Nestor at 55 ready to retire?

That was back when my Uncles were cops and Firemen married HS sweethearts young and by 55 a full pension and kids long gone. Kids just went an inexpensive local college.

Today men and women are having kids much later. Their kids are having kids much later and college costs are insane.

When I was 55 I had a 16, 14 and 10 year old at home.

Hence the issue downsizing no longer works

My youngest graduates college when I am 67 and then wants to move home for grad school.

Then until they are married with kids I am still hosting holidays.

I thought I was an old parent but tons and tons parents my age at school.

My friend is 61 with a 13, 11 and 6 year old at home. Had last kid he was 55, wife 45.

55 year olds are still having kids and 25-30 years from retirement.

There are also plenty of people that age who become empty nesters, retire, and downsize.

Yup! Did have kid until almost 30, was done by 35, by 52 last kid was off to college.
Sold big family home and moved into our 2 bed/2bath condo in the city. Won't retire until kid is done with college but we could if we really wanted to, the money is ready and waiting

DOn't know about most people, but I don't want to be over 60 and still have kids on my payroll/supporting my kids because they are not yet out of college. So we chose not to have a kid at 40+

Big plus by working later my SS and 401k will be huge.

As HHI earners, our SS will be huge already. And 401k/IRAs are huge as well (over $4M currently). They are only about 10% of our NW.

I don't recommend retiring early if you are not financially ready or mentally ready.
We always planned to be done by 56/57. We planned our kids and savings accordingly

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It cost a lot of money to buy and sell. As my father said, why downsize to a smaller house in his mid - late 70s only to have to sell it again within a decade to move into assisted living/retirement. They're staying in the house till they know they absolutely have to move to a retirement community.

That is why (imo) it makes more sense to do the downsizing in your mid to late 50s, once kids are out of the house. Then you get 20+ years possibly living there before you need a retirement community