You move to McLean because you are highly competitive, now you don’t like it because families there are even more competitive than you. |
I'm MC and wouldn't be caught dead in an olive garden, I have 6 months emergency savings account. The travel plans are kind of dead on though lol good things my family lives in some interesting places. I try not to be competitive because I recognize there's a lot of pathways to succeed and there are so many jobs today that didn't exist 20 years ago. It's more about developing the right character traits than about being the best at piano or soccer when you were 8 |
As several posters have pointed out, the problem isn’t the neighborhood— the problem is you. What makes you think MC people aren’t motivated? They are plenty motivated. The issue is that you are motivated by the wrong things. You don’t know how to define “happy” so you think you’ll get that feeling if your kids are in the HS sports team or if they get into an Ivy. Newsflash: your kids can get those things and you will still be unhappy. |
I'd say mc families in this area are probably more competitive than most |
What is so wrong with Olive Garden? We currently live in Europe and eat around at various places. Olive Garden is decent. |
Because The food at Olive garden is not that good ? This comment makes zero sense because there are no Olive gardens in Europe and even the little mom-and-pop Italian restaurants in most places would blow Olive garden out of water There are just so many good quality restaurants in the DC area that I don't see the point of spending my money on a very mediocre chain |
Spoken like someone completely sheltered from the reality that many other people experience. The reality where “marrying well” and doing something you love are not simple choices that you can make in life. |
I doubt it. Life is expensive and it’s stressful to not be able to comfortably afford owning and maintaining a home in a safe neighborhood and decent school district.
I do, however, think that there are probably diminishing returns on happiness above a certain income threshold. |
Also… you can opt out of the competitiveness to a degree. I think there are truly diminishing returns to raising your child in a pressure cooker. Admissions to elite colleges is a total crapshoot these days, and your unhooked UMC kids are going to actually have a harder time than anyone else - they are not wealthy and connected, they are not disadvantaged, and they are a dime a dozen. So yeah, I won’t put my kid in 18 activities in prek. I’m putting them in a parochial school that focuses dually on academics and community. I hope they have happy childhoods, understand that doing well at school is an expectation to help them reach their potential and feel good about themselves, and not solely to give them a competitive edge. I am intentionally not enrolling them in a pressure cooker school or living in a cut throat school district. I don’t see the point of ruining their adolescence to have them crushed when they don’t get into Penn, because the reality is that most of these crazed, overschedueld kids WONT get into elite colleges, and they could all benefit from more balance in life. |
OP here. Ha. Both my kids want to go to Penn. DH and I both attended top colleges and grad schools. We are well off but not rich. DH does have some connections. Who knows what that will mean? Our friend’s kid just got rejected from Penn and he is a double legacy and parents are donors. I guess they are not big enough donors. |
If you’re sneering at your neighbors for aspiring to UVa, maybe you’re more like them (hyper-competitive) than you want to admit. |
If this is how you think you won't be at all happy in an MC area somewhere else, either. And while you hate the hamster wheel, you sort of love it or you'd be able to get over the idea that UVA is merely a backup school (which I totally understand, I'm a TJ alumn so it was the backup school of most of my high school graduating class). I have a friend who moved from the east coast to a very MC area in the middle of the country somewhere. It took her a really long time to come around to the idea that most of her peers didn't even have college degrees at all. |
More likely there were students more qualified and interesting than their kid. Why can’t anyone just be honest about this. |
You are conflating UMC vs MC with living in a competitive metropolitan area vs other parts of the country.
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I think MC families ARE happier unless a ruinous event occurs: Divorce, Death, Health issues, Etc. The extra money comes in handy in the event of an emergency but otherwise may be an inadvertent source of stress and unhappiness. |