How did you know you were done having kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I loved the newborn stage, and found toddlers to be much more difficult. I would have 50 babies if I could.

Michelle Duggar has entered the chat.

nope, just a regular mom of 3 who likes pregnancies and babies.

Yeah me too. I wonder if those of us who struggle to feel completely done are those who also enjoy pregnancy and newborns the most.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I loved the newborn stage, and found toddlers to be much more difficult. I would have 50 babies if I could.

Michelle Duggar has entered the chat.

nope, just a regular mom of 3 who likes pregnancies and babies.

Yeah me too. I wonder if those of us who struggle to feel completely done are those who also enjoy pregnancy and newborns the most.

Op here. I do not enjoy pregnancy or newborn but am struggling about whether I’m done! I think plenty of people in the “hand me a two year old and I’d have one more” camp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I loved the newborn stage, and found toddlers to be much more difficult. I would have 50 babies if I could.

Michelle Duggar has entered the chat.

nope, just a regular mom of 3 who likes pregnancies and babies.

Yeah me too. I wonder if those of us who struggle to feel completely done are those who also enjoy pregnancy and newborns the most.

Op here. I do not enjoy pregnancy or newborn but am struggling about whether I’m done! I think plenty of people in the “hand me a two year old and I’d have one more” camp.

NP I’d have another if I didn’t need to do the baby stage. It was pure hell.

[Anonymous]

Didn't have the same incomplete feeling as I still did after DC #1.

[Anonymous]

We had twins. We had wanted two kids. After that we didn't want any more. We haven't looked back once (they're 10 now).

[Anonymous]

I'm pregnant with my third after being obsessed with this question since the day I found out I was pregnant with my 2nd, worried it would be my last (because DH originally was adement about only wanting 2). I think three is the perfect number of kids in general, but now that I'm experiencing a third pregnancy, I think it's solidifying that view.

I felt so deeply sad at the thought of every moment being my last of this chapter when I was doing it all with my second, and really longed for another time. And now that I have gotten that wish, for the first time ever, I feel a little inconvenienced by pregnancy and semi dreading the sleepless nights and more years of diapers. I still very much want this, but I am just glad it will be my last.

So I think it confirms my feeling that the first child shocks you and is for learning and matrescence, the second child is to soak up every minute, and the third is for closure (while also soaking up every minute).

Long story short, I really feel done this time, whereas I didn't at all during/after my second.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If this was fortunate enough to be a choice for you, how did you know you were done? Did you feel 100% done? Was it a rational decision (bandwidth, finances, lifestyle choices, career, spouse at capacity)?

And what was the number of kids you stopped at?

Before we got married we discussed the number of children we wanted (2) and once we had the two we stopped.

[Anonymous]

I never had an “incomplete” feeling after my one and only. I revisited the question every few months and the answer was always the same. I haven’t had any doubt about my decision even for a moment. My child is also happy to be an only, which apparently is not common.

[Anonymous]

We always knew we'd have 3. We were very bored with only having one sibling each. Our kids have no cousins and will never have any.

After #3 was born, we were both DYING for a 4th baby. We cried over all the early milestones...and then we went back to work and shit hit the fan. Having 3 has been exponentially harder than 2. Everything is just so so so much work. If I could skip the toddler age with #4, I'd likely have a 4th. But I also couldn't guarantee that #4 would be healthy and not draw attention from my other 3 kids. Whereas we KNOW that #3 added more to my other kids quality of life. They both say that the 3rd baby is their favorite sibling.

I truly loved being pregnant and having newborns. It was a skill that I didn't know that I had inside me. I was probably the best pregnant person and had it easiest of any new mom I knew.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm pregnant with my third after being obsessed with this question since the day I found out I was pregnant with my 2nd, worried it would be my last (because DH originally was adement about only wanting 2). I think three is the perfect number of kids in general, but now that I'm experiencing a third pregnancy, I think it's solidifying that view.

I felt so deeply sad at the thought of every moment being my last of this chapter when I was doing it all with my second, and really longed for another time. And now that I have gotten that wish, for the first time ever, I feel a little inconvenienced by pregnancy and semi dreading the sleepless nights and more years of diapers. I still very much want this, but I am just glad it will be my last.

So I think it confirms my feeling that the first child shocks you and is for learning and matrescence, the second child is to soak up every minute, and the third is for closure (while also soaking up every minute).

Long story short, I really feel done this time, whereas I didn't at all during/after my second.

Was your husband on board with having a third ultimately?

[Anonymous]

You can’t possibly know if you had “too many” or the “right” amount until they are all launched. The teen years are no joke and certainly not easier, just hard in different ways.

[Anonymous]

Incomplete feeling or not, secondary infertility made the decision for us. Luckily my only loves being an only and is happy with her childhood, which is ultimately what’s most important anyways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I loved the newborn stage, and found toddlers to be much more difficult. I would have 50 babies if I could.

Michelle Duggar has entered the chat.

nope, just a regular mom of 3 who likes pregnancies and babies.

Yeah me too. I wonder if those of us who struggle to feel completely done are those who also enjoy pregnancy and newborns the most.

I loved pregnancy and babies and was an excellent mom of newborns. And yet I still was able to recognize when my first was 5 and my second was 2 that if we wanted to parent to our standards and still have couple time and any sense of sanity, we’d need to stop at two and we did. I miss little babies being around, but that would have eventually happened no matter how many kids I had. At some point the youngest grows up, no matter how many you have. Now that my two are teens, I’m so relieved there are only two of them because they take up a lot of time, energy and money and we can make it work thankfully but a third would be very difficult, especially on time. There is only so much time. And I only work PT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can’t possibly know if you had “too many” or the “right” amount until they are all launched. The teen years are no joke and certainly not easier, just hard in different ways.

why stop when they are launched? one of the main reasons for have more children is to have more adult children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I loved the newborn stage, and found toddlers to be much more difficult. I would have 50 babies if I could.

Michelle Duggar has entered the chat.

nope, just a regular mom of 3 who likes pregnancies and babies.

Yeah me too. I wonder if those of us who struggle to feel completely done are those who also enjoy pregnancy and newborns the most.

Np maybe! Pregnancy was so so easy for me. Zero morning sickness, zero pain. I just grew nice big babies. I was able to be very active until the end. My hair was thick and glossy and my skin was beautiful too. The only real struggle was to not gain more than 30lbs. I still have a lot of sympathy for women who have it rough and it isn’t this magical time though.

And newborns were so incredible. I just loved everything about them. For the first 12 weeks I could wake up all night long and I breastfed them until they were very chonky.