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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
DH has directed us to shovel off the deck - AITA
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Anonymous
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Maybe because I grew up in Canada with lots of snow, this doesnt seem like a big deal to me. We all take turns shovelling. And I dont do my entire deck, but I do try to get most of it off. We also bbq year round so I make a path there, and also to the stairs.
Just because your deck doesnt have any structural issues now, why would you willingly and knowingly leave 100s #s on top unnecessarily? Anyways, to me this isn't a big thing, and I'd encourage my 16 year old to do it and definitely go help out. |
Anonymous
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If there is not much but jeans with metallic buttons in dryer, it can be clanky and annoying. May be he wants you to jeans with other clothes?
Nowadays everyone gets upset at disposable cups and glasses. It's expensive and environmentally wasteful. How hard is it to load washer correctly? In 20 years, it should've been a second nature. |
Anonymous
| Is your DH at home, OP? Or on travel or something? |
Anonymous
This. |
Anonymous
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OP-
You've clearly been married many years to this person. This isn't new behavior. The real question is why haven't you figured out how to manage this nonsense? You should know how to respond and what to do/not do. Instead you're crowd-sourcing here with an AITA. |
Anonymous
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i would just ask "what are you worried about happening?"
if he sends a comment about the weight you can do a quick google of facts to see whose right. if he just says he'd like it done you can say "we have other things going on today but i can handle xyz tonight so you have time to do it when you're come" |
Anonymous
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He is home, at work.
I asked if he would mind explaining why this is needed, he replied, "I'd rather the deck not become an ice rink. It's about safety". But... no one is using the deck because it's winter and cold and snowy. So whose safety? Again, just getting to the grill only requires a small path. |
Anonymous
| If you run a washer or dryer for just one or two jeans, its waste of water, detergent and electricity. |
Anonymous
| I would not do it. Tell him he is not your dad and if he is so worried he can do it. |
Anonymous
| Team DH. I'd get that snow off the deck. It's not a huge ask. Especially for a teenager. |
Anonymous
Because I have my own mental and emotional issues that cause me to question EVERYTHING. Most of the time I am left completely baffled by the behavior of others, not just my DH. I just do NOT understand why most people care about the things they do, get upset about the things they do, I am always left feeling like my evaluation of a situation is completely and totally off compared to others. So even though I am pretty sure most of the time that his clanky jeans, paper cups and dishwasher loading complaints are nuts, and it's not me, it's him, there are still times when I am left wondering, AITA? And as you can see by a few of the responses on this thread, some people do think he's the reasonable one. So since there's an anon forum where I can ask, I did. |
Anonymous
Agree. We shovel our walk and a path so a nanny can get there at 8am and not slip. But not the whole drive or the back deck. And I’m from the Midwest where you do snow blow or shovel every 3-4 inches. And especially if it will melt a bit then freeze overnight. |
Anonymous
Sounds like maybe a man who is at the office while his teenager and lazy wife lounge around the house. |
Anonymous
Non sequitur much? No it's a full load of laundry, size is not what he is focusing on. |
Anonymous
| "This is what I'm willing to do." After you have done it. Don't say it before. No discussion. Said in a factual way. No explanation. No discussion. You all discuss all things toooo much. Yeah, he's likely to be mad, some. He'll adjust .. over time, his expectations. |