family with different last names: how to address an envelope

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
And this is exactly why I took my husband's name. It makes it much easier for all involved and keeps feelings from being hurt. Not to mention the fact that my children and I all have the same last name.

Yes, but can your parents say the same?

MIL can. She came from a country where women keep their names and she changed hers when she immigrated. It was so much easier with all the paperwork involved.
DH couldn't have cared less if I had kept my maiden name or not it was totally my choice. I was actually going to keep my maiden name but realized my choice effected everyone including the children I would someday have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
And this is exactly why I took my husband's name. It makes it much easier for all involved and keeps feelings from being hurt. Not to mention the fact that my children and I all have the same last name.

Yes, but can your parents say the same?

MIL can. She came from a country where women keep their names and she changed hers when she immigrated. It was so much easier with all the paperwork involved.
DH couldn't have cared less if I had kept my maiden name or not it was totally my choice. I was actually going to keep my maiden name but realized my choice effected everyone including the children I would someday have.

You seem to have strong feelings about this.

I didn't change my name, and my choice has not effected anyone, certainly not our children. Or more accurately, it has not effected them any more than the other choice would have.

I'm glad your choice is working for you. Why don't you acknowledge that others' choices work for them?

[Anonymous]

I hyphenated my last name (my name first-husband's last name) and our children have hyphenated last names as well. I am annoyed when people address things to us as the Smith family (since that is only my husband's last name). Realizing this, here is how I address things to folks in the scenario you have presented:

The Smith Jones Family (ie: list both last names together followed by Family). Essentially, it's accurate. After all, the Family is comprised of a Smith and some Jones, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hyphenated my last name (my name first-husband's last name) and our children have hyphenated last names as well. I am annoyed when people address things to us as the Smith family (since that is only my husband's last name). Realizing this, here is how I address things to folks in the scenario you have presented:

The Smith Jones Family (ie: list both last names together followed by Family). Essentially, it's accurate. After all, the Family is comprised of a Smith and some Jones, right?

This is a very good solution.

[Anonymous]

Our family has three different last names and I could not care less which one is used. MIL is unhappy the children do not have DH's last name, so she always calls us by his last name. Fine with me, since I chose the names, and they are official

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This might be incorrect, but I do "The Smith Family"

It is incorrect, and both dismissive and disrespectful of the person whose name is not Smith.

I kept my last name and never take offense or think it's disrespectful when someone does "The Smith Family". I imagine they wrestled with what to put, wrote something and left it at that.

I usually just leave out the last name if it's informal and address it as John, Jane and children

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
And this is exactly why I took my husband's name. It makes it much easier for all involved and keeps feelings from being hurt. Not to mention the fact that my children and I all have the same last name.

Yes, but can your parents say the same?

MIL can. She came from a country where women keep their names and she changed hers when she immigrated. It was so much easier with all the paperwork involved.
DH couldn't have cared less if I had kept my maiden name or not it was totally my choice. I was actually going to keep my maiden name but realized my choice effected everyone including the children I would someday have.

You seem to have strong feelings about this.

I didn't change my name, and my choice has not effected anyone, certainly not our children. Or more accurately, it has not effected them any more than the other choice would have.

I'm glad your choice is working for you. Why don't you acknowledge that others' choices work for them?

How about this. I actually don't have strong feelings about it. As I said I was not going to change my name until I realized how much easier it would be if everyone in my house had the same name. Your choice really has no effect on me. Unless of course you get upset with me because you think I addressed a family invitation incorrectly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
And this is exactly why I took my husband's name. It makes it much easier for all involved and keeps feelings from being hurt. Not to mention the fact that my children and I all have the same last name.

Yes, but can your parents say the same?

MIL can. She came from a country where women keep their names and she changed hers when she immigrated. It was so much easier with all the paperwork involved.
DH couldn't have cared less if I had kept my maiden name or not it was totally my choice. I was actually going to keep my maiden name but realized my choice effected everyone including the children I would someday have.

You seem to have strong feelings about this.

I didn't change my name, and my choice has not effected anyone, certainly not our children. Or more accurately, it has not effected them any more than the other choice would have.

I'm glad your choice is working for you. Why don't you acknowledge that others' choices work for them?

How about this. I actually don't have strong feelings about it. As I said I was not going to change my name until I realized how much easier it would be if everyone in my house had the same name. Your choice really has no effect on me. Unless of course you get upset with me because you think I addressed a family invitation incorrectly.

Sounds good. And how about this?: If you want to send me correspondence, include my name on the envelope.

[Anonymous]

I do "The Jones/Smith Family" or else I do it the way you listed, OP. Your sister is lucky you are thinking about this. I hate when I get mail addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. HusbandsLastName," since I kept my own name.