Indian Matchmaking Season 3

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for math teacher guy

Me too, a guy can't fix his height. I hated that Priya was making fun of him, he seems like a lovely guy.

[Anonymous]

As a Western woman who married a south Asian man, I suspect that these marriages are as successful as love marriages, although on the show they seem to be dating longer (and breaking up) more than one would for an arranged marriage.

When I went to India and visited my in laws, no one was divorced although I feel that 2 couples should have been. In one case, I suspect the husband is a pedophile. But that's just a gut feeling from watching him cuddle and run his fingers through his niece's hair. His wife and daughter give the impression of being utterly miserable. His daughter does not maintain herself, looking disheveled with uncombed hair. It's heartbreaking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I like that they show couples that started with arranged marriages and then fell in love but I wonder how often this approach works out?

Pretty much always. It's such a different mindset and mode of operation. But they almost always have a lot of love and respect, and they stay married.

And this must be much less true these days, even in india.

Almost always? Ha, noooo. But more often than not it worked out really well and people were as happy as anyone else. Of course in previous generations “worked out” meant just that they stayed together. So there could also be a lot of dysfunction, abuse, etc in a couple that “worked out”. But I would still say that in large part people were not more unhappy than others and certainly (no research to cite), older couples in love marriages may have had to deal with a lot of issues due to how insular things were back then (different castes, languages, not getting parents approval etc).

I know couples who should be divorced because they are just a bad match (no abuse) and I know ones who truly fell in love after marriage.

Agree to disagree

I guess so? I didn’t say they never work out. I think more often than not, they do. But I question how you would know they “almost always” do, given the cultural and structural barriers to divorce that existed. Seems to be an overly simplistic way of looking at it, IMO.

You guess so? Ok. LMAO

Yeah sorry I think that in these types of arranged marriages that they featured on the show there is almost always a great deal of love and respect. Like the couples they interviewed, if you ask them, did it work out the same way for most of your peers? I think they would say, I know some cases where it did not work, but yes, almost always.

I guess I'm just really simple and if I were a sophisticated as you, I would have a different take!

I think you are, sorry. Are you talking about the specific marriages featured or generally? Generally, there were so many compromises in so many marriages. Some were fine, some weren’t. To say that any arranged marriage is “almost always” happy is hilarious. And I’m not anti-arranged marriage at all.

At least I can just say "agree to disagree" that we have different opinions based on our experiences and not insult someone's else's intelligence and perspective just because it doesn't EXACTLY match mine... The semantics of "more often than not" vs "almost always" doesn't seem worth it to me. But, I'm pretty happy and well-adjusted, so there's that.

Anyone who talks about the experiences of millions of people in such sweeping generalizations based on their own limited anecdotal experiences is likely not as happy or well adjusted as they seem to think. I wish you well and hope you do find that peace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like that they show couples that started with arranged marriages and then fell in love but I wonder how often this approach works out?

Pretty much always. It's such a different mindset and mode of operation. But they almost always have a lot of love and respect, and they stay married.

And this must be much less true these days, even in india.

Almost always? Ha, noooo. But more often than not it worked out really well and people were as happy as anyone else. Of course in previous generations “worked out” meant just that they stayed together. So there could also be a lot of dysfunction, abuse, etc in a couple that “worked out”. But I would still say that in large part people were not more unhappy than others and certainly (no research to cite), older couples in love marriages may have had to deal with a lot of issues due to how insular things were back then (different castes, languages, not getting parents approval etc).

I know couples who should be divorced because they are just a bad match (no abuse) and I know ones who truly fell in love after marriage.

Agree to disagree

I guess so? I didn’t say they never work out. I think more often than not, they do. But I question how you would know they “almost always” do, given the cultural and structural barriers to divorce that existed. Seems to be an overly simplistic way of looking at it, IMO.

You guess so? Ok. LMAO

Yeah sorry I think that in these types of arranged marriages that they featured on the show there is almost always a great deal of love and respect. Like the couples they interviewed, if you ask them, did it work out the same way for most of your peers? I think they would say, I know some cases where it did not work, but yes, almost always.

I guess I'm just really simple and if I were a sophisticated as you, I would have a different take!

DP. "[T]hese types of arranged marriages . . . featured on the show" is doing a lot of work here. If you are talking about the handful that got aired on the show, okay, maybe. But arranged marriage as a general matter? No, the other poster is much closer to an accurate on the topic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like that they show couples that started with arranged marriages and then fell in love but I wonder how often this approach works out?

Pretty much always. It's such a different mindset and mode of operation. But they almost always have a lot of love and respect, and they stay married.

And this must be much less true these days, even in india.

Almost always? Ha, noooo. But more often than not it worked out really well and people were as happy as anyone else. Of course in previous generations “worked out” meant just that they stayed together. So there could also be a lot of dysfunction, abuse, etc in a couple that “worked out”. But I would still say that in large part people were not more unhappy than others and certainly (no research to cite), older couples in love marriages may have had to deal with a lot of issues due to how insular things were back then (different castes, languages, not getting parents approval etc).

I know couples who should be divorced because they are just a bad match (no abuse) and I know ones who truly fell in love after marriage.

Agree to disagree

I guess so? I didn’t say they never work out. I think more often than not, they do. But I question how you would know they “almost always” do, given the cultural and structural barriers to divorce that existed. Seems to be an overly simplistic way of looking at it, IMO.

You guess so? Ok. LMAO

Yeah sorry I think that in these types of arranged marriages that they featured on the show there is almost always a great deal of love and respect. Like the couples they interviewed, if you ask them, did it work out the same way for most of your peers? I think they would say, I know some cases where it did not work, but yes, almost always.

I guess I'm just really simple and if I were a sophisticated as you, I would have a different take!

I think you are, sorry. Are you talking about the specific marriages featured or generally? Generally, there were so many compromises in so many marriages. Some were fine, some weren’t. To say that any arranged marriage is “almost always” happy is hilarious. And I’m not anti-arranged marriage at all.

At least I can just say "agree to disagree" that we have different opinions based on our experiences and not insult someone's else's intelligence and perspective just because it doesn't EXACTLY match mine... The semantics of "more often than not" vs "almost always" doesn't seem worth it to me. But, I'm pretty happy and well-adjusted, so there's that.

Anyone who talks about the experiences of millions of people in such sweeping generalizations based on their own limited anecdotal experiences is likely not as happy or well adjusted as they seem to think. I wish you well and hope you do find that peace.

I generalized about a topic too much so I'm not a happy person? That doesn't track. You could have been like, I see what you're saying but I think that's a bit too general...But you didn't do that. You were snide and insulting for absolutely no reason. you are nasty, period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like that they show couples that started with arranged marriages and then fell in love but I wonder how often this approach works out?

Pretty much always. It's such a different mindset and mode of operation. But they almost always have a lot of love and respect, and they stay married.

And this must be much less true these days, even in india.

Almost always? Ha, noooo. But more often than not it worked out really well and people were as happy as anyone else. Of course in previous generations “worked out” meant just that they stayed together. So there could also be a lot of dysfunction, abuse, etc in a couple that “worked out”. But I would still say that in large part people were not more unhappy than others and certainly (no research to cite), older couples in love marriages may have had to deal with a lot of issues due to how insular things were back then (different castes, languages, not getting parents approval etc).

I know couples who should be divorced because they are just a bad match (no abuse) and I know ones who truly fell in love after marriage.

Agree to disagree

I guess so? I didn’t say they never work out. I think more often than not, they do. But I question how you would know they “almost always” do, given the cultural and structural barriers to divorce that existed. Seems to be an overly simplistic way of looking at it, IMO.

You guess so? Ok. LMAO

Yeah sorry I think that in these types of arranged marriages that they featured on the show there is almost always a great deal of love and respect. Like the couples they interviewed, if you ask them, did it work out the same way for most of your peers? I think they would say, I know some cases where it did not work, but yes, almost always.

I guess I'm just really simple and if I were a sophisticated as you, I would have a different take!

I think you are, sorry. Are you talking about the specific marriages featured or generally? Generally, there were so many compromises in so many marriages. Some were fine, some weren’t. To say that any arranged marriage is “almost always” happy is hilarious. And I’m not anti-arranged marriage at all.

At least I can just say "agree to disagree" that we have different opinions based on our experiences and not insult someone's else's intelligence and perspective just because it doesn't EXACTLY match mine... The semantics of "more often than not" vs "almost always" doesn't seem worth it to me. But, I'm pretty happy and well-adjusted, so there's that.

Anyone who talks about the experiences of millions of people in such sweeping generalizations based on their own limited anecdotal experiences is likely not as happy or well adjusted as they seem to think. I wish you well and hope you do find that peace.

I generalized about a topic too much so I'm not a happy person? That doesn't track. You could have been like, I see what you're saying but I think that's a bit too general...But you didn't do that. You were snide and insulting for absolutely no reason. you are nasty, period.

Pp, you’re engaging with multiple people, not just one…

[Anonymous]

WTF with Arti's dog? Why when the dog is so fat is she pushing it around in a stroller? I can't stand her, to be honest. She goes food shopping in a corner store in heels and fake eyelashes. Her fake eyelashes look AWFUL!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WTF with Arti's dog? Why when the dog is so fat is she pushing it around in a stroller? I can't stand her, to be honest. She goes food shopping in a corner store in heels and fake eyelashes. Her fake eyelashes look AWFUL!

I was wondering about the obese dog as well! I think that poor dog needs to be walked - not pushed around in a stroller.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe Aashay and Viral are still together. They don’t seem to follow each on Instagram though. I hope they didn’t split.

She seems a little grouchy so far. I'm surprised how she was teasing him in front of his parents.

I'm not into her personality. She often behaves like that. Because she's insecure, she goes right to criticizing someone else. She probably doesn't mean to do it, but I find it mean spirited and unattractive.

I don’t like her personality either! I was surprised Aashay likes her as much as he does. She did seem rude and standoffish to the parents, but maybe it was the editing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for math teacher guy

Me too, a guy can't fix his height. I hated that Priya was making fun of him, he seems like a lovely guy.

He’s a very unique person. He needs a silly dorky lady. I thought it was absurd to even put him and Priya together! She’s beautiful and thoughtful, and probably wants someone a little less quirky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a Western woman who married a south Asian man, I suspect that these marriages are as successful as love marriages, although on the show they seem to be dating longer (and breaking up) more than one would for an arranged marriage.

When I went to India and visited my in laws, no one was divorced although I feel that 2 couples should have been. In one case, I suspect the husband is a pedophile. But that's just a gut feeling from watching him cuddle and run his fingers through his niece's hair. His wife and daughter give the impression of being utterly miserable. His daughter does not maintain herself, looking disheveled with uncombed hair. It's heartbreaking.

The concept of arranged marriage has gotten blurred even in India (at least in cities). It’s more dating but with the explicit purpose of getting married. So, you would openly have the conversation of kids, ideas on money, work life balance etc on date 1. If not aligned, you wouldn’t move forward. In a “love” relationship here, you wouldn’t feel comfortable bringing those topics up so soon because you would look crazy. But maybe even that’s changing with online dating, I don’t know too much about that.

On the flip side, decades ago, most arranged marriages were a family affair. If there were issues in the marriage, the families would step in to help. With the new ways of doing arranged marriages, the families don’t have those connections and it’s more like a marriage anywhere else.

The stigma against divorce is getting better (especially with more educated women) but it’s still there. In my very traditional family, a woman with an alcoholic spouse got divorced and no one talks badly about her. I know some families where even that would not be permitted. Getting divorced just because you drifted apart or something would never fly.

I imagine arranged marriages today are happier than 20 or 50 years ago when divorce was never an option, even if there was abuse or neglect. But then, where in the world did women truly have freedom decades ago? Women here in the 50s didn’t either. Even in the 70s it was really stigmatized. India may be 20 years behind in terms of being open to divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe Aashay and Viral are still together. They don’t seem to follow each on Instagram though. I hope they didn’t split.

She seems a little grouchy so far. I'm surprised how she was teasing him in front of his parents.

I'm not into her personality. She often behaves like that. Because she's insecure, she goes right to criticizing someone else. She probably doesn't mean to do it, but I find it mean spirited and unattractive.

I don’t like her personality either! I was surprised Aashay likes her as much as he does. She did seem rude and standoffish to the parents, but maybe it was the editing.

She stinks! She went on a date with my co-worker Avi (nice guy!), and she came off as such a loser! I think Jamal is a match because he is dim and likes to party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe Aashay and Viral are still together. They don’t seem to follow each on Instagram though. I hope they didn’t split.

She seems a little grouchy so far. I'm surprised how she was teasing him in front of his parents.

I'm not into her personality. She often behaves like that. Because she's insecure, she goes right to criticizing someone else. She probably doesn't mean to do it, but I find it mean spirited and unattractive.

I don’t like her personality either! I was surprised Aashay likes her as much as he does. She did seem rude and standoffish to the parents, but maybe it was the editing.

She stinks! She went on a date with my co-worker Avi (nice guy!), and she came off as such a loser! I think Jamal is a match because he is dim and likes to party.

Wasn’t the guy Sima matched her with Avi? Is that your coworker?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe Aashay and Viral are still together. They don’t seem to follow each on Instagram though. I hope they didn’t split.

She seems a little grouchy so far. I'm surprised how she was teasing him in front of his parents.

I'm not into her personality. She often behaves like that. Because she's insecure, she goes right to criticizing someone else. She probably doesn't mean to do it, but I find it mean spirited and unattractive.

I don’t like her personality either! I was surprised Aashay likes her as much as he does. She did seem rude and standoffish to the parents, but maybe it was the editing.

She stinks! She went on a date with my co-worker Avi (nice guy!), and she came off as such a loser! I think Jamal is a match because he is dim and likes to party.

Wasn’t the guy Sima matched her with Avi? Is that your coworker?

Yes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe Aashay and Viral are still together. They don’t seem to follow each on Instagram though. I hope they didn’t split.

She seems a little grouchy so far. I'm surprised how she was teasing him in front of his parents.

I'm not into her personality. She often behaves like that. Because she's insecure, she goes right to criticizing someone else. She probably doesn't mean to do it, but I find it mean spirited and unattractive.

I don’t like her personality either! I was surprised Aashay likes her as much as he does. She did seem rude and standoffish to the parents, but maybe it was the editing.

She stinks! She went on a date with my co-worker Avi (nice guy!), and she came off as such a loser! I think Jamal is a match because he is dim and likes to party.

Wasn’t the guy Sima matched her with Avi? Is that your coworker?

Yes

Oh sorry, Avi went out with the girl from Miami with the fat dog. I replied to the wrong post. It's her personality I don't like. (No fan of Viral either.)