What is women’s obsession with “well-educated” men?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a spin-off of another thread where a late 30s woman was asking how to meet men, and of course mentions the “well-educated” criterion multiple times.

I just don’t get this. And I should preface this by saying I’m a guy with an Ivy degree. But would you ladies not consider someone who owns his own construction business or a few Subway franchises and earns $150,000 per year? (Or we could make it 15 Subway franchises and an income of $600,000 if that is your requirement.) This is not about income – that part I understand.

But why the obsession with “well-educated” men? Do you not understand that for many people, going to college/graduate school is a terrible life decision? I mean, there was a recent article about NYU film grads coming out of the Master’s program with $30,000/year jobs and $250,000 in debt. Surely women in their late 30s recognize that the dating market is not skewed in their favor. Why add yet *another* filter that further winnows down your available options?

BC people are not dating to date, they are dating to find a life partner. Usually that means someone you can have same-level conversations with, who will understand your references, share your priorities, and want the same things for your children.

DH and I started dating in HS but knew each other for years before that. We have the same upbringing, have the same feelings about raising children, rarely argue, and have great conversations. Our morals, values, and ethics are pretty similar. That was all set by our parents before I went to college. He never went. I have a Phd. He’s an svp for a national construction firm. When we dated in HS, I was in the RMIB program and he went to Edison. He now makes 4x what I make.

I agree with the OP. A degree doesn’t mean intellectual or educated. In my case, it means I’m a good test taker and knew how to play the education game.

. Someone who has never had to navigate the dating world as an adult shouldn't chime in on what women should be looking for.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a spin-off of another thread where a late 30s woman was asking how to meet men, and of course mentions the “well-educated” criterion multiple times.

I just don’t get this. And I should preface this by saying I’m a guy with an Ivy degree. But would you ladies not consider someone who owns his own construction business or a few Subway franchises and earns $150,000 per year? (Or we could make it 15 Subway franchises and an income of $600,000 if that is your requirement.) This is not about income – that part I understand.

But why the obsession with “well-educated” men? Do you not understand that for many people, going to college/graduate school is a terrible life decision? I mean, there was a recent article about NYU film grads coming out of the Master’s program with $30,000/year jobs and $250,000 in debt. Surely women in their late 30s recognize that the dating market is not skewed in their favor. Why add yet *another* filter that further winnows down your available options?

It wasn’t about money. It’s conversation. I’ve dated a few blue collar guys before my first marriage and before I remarried. They were fun as long as we were doing something. Not so much fun on the third consecutive day of cold rain on a vacation once you’ve already had sex twice and played all the board games. It’s a good preview of what life would be like with this man at 67-80. Never talking about a book. Never getting a crossword puzzle clue.

Plus, I wanted someone who could help my kids with homework.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Education is one of the new status symbols. Newer generations are less materialistic but not less status-seeking.

It’s not a symbol. Higher education actually DOES carry higher status.

Not always, just as money mean you have class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is incel-speak for “how dare women have standards.”

Pretty much

[Anonymous]

I live in an area where it’s common for people to not graduate high school, let alone get a degree. It’s shown me how important similar educational backgrounds are.

For one, it’s difficult for me to have a conversation with an uneducated man here. We have little in common, and it feels like we’re just talking past each other. No joke, it’s super common for me to meet a guy, and all he talks about is weed, sports, and his workouts. That’s literally it.

But another huge issue is just lifestyle incompatibility. The majority of the uneducated men have problems with alcohol/drugs, are misogynistic, not involved with their kids, cheat with multiple women, hold a minimum wage job, etc. Of course those problems are limited to uneducated people, but overall it’s much more likely. I think not being able to get basic education - even just an associates from the community college - shows impulsivity, lack of foresight, and inability to work hard (and yes, I know there are the exceptions of people who started a business and did well. Those are the exceptions, not the rule).

I’m not saying I require an Ivy League degree, because I certainly don’t have one. But any sort of higher level education means we’re more likely to have things in common, conversation topics, and shows they have basic curiosity and a desire to learn more. I want someone who can talk about more than just football or that time he and his buddies got hammered.

[Anonymous]

It's what we've been socialized to do, same as mens obsession with hot women. These days the guy's brains are an indication of his earning potential. There was a thread recently where a guy literally said that his wife is dumb as a rock, but she is very pretty and a good partner and mother, and he adores her. I can't imagine any woman for whom "dumb as a rock" would not be a deal breaker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a spin-off of another thread where a late 30s woman was asking how to meet men, and of course mentions the “well-educated” criterion multiple times.

I just don’t get this. And I should preface this by saying I’m a guy with an Ivy degree. But would you ladies not consider someone who owns his own construction business or a few Subway franchises and earns $150,000 per year? (Or we could make it 15 Subway franchises and an income of $600,000 if that is your requirement.) This is not about income – that part I understand.

But why the obsession with “well-educated” men? Do you not understand that for many people, going to college/graduate school is a terrible life decision? I mean, there was a recent article about NYU film grads coming out of the Master’s program with $30,000/year jobs and $250,000 in debt. Surely women in their late 30s recognize that the dating market is not skewed in their favor. Why add yet *another* filter that further winnows down your available options?

I assume it’s similar to companies’ job specs: graduating college is a general proxy for intelligence, work ethic, goal setting, and socialization.
Similar to holding down a job for a few years, or mastering a sport, or accomplishing something that required work and delayed gratification.

Aren’t those the people you want to marry or hire? Quota hiring is sprinkled in and increasing so. Hopefully productivity will be Ok. Nothing like training the same person over and over again in the same concepts and fixing their work all the time.

[Anonymous]

It’s also a proxy for qualities like intellectual curiosity, stamina and ambition - with the benefit of having been vetted by an admissions panel.

[Anonymous]

Owning and operating a trade is also impressive. Learned a skill, run a business, train and manage others, so good work. Pick your hours (versus income). Also impressive.

Sitting in your parents basement or getting fired all the time or not even a GeD or community college to set some goals and accomplish them? nO thanks.

It’s truly that simple folks. Raise your kids right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Education is one of the new status symbols. Newer generations are less materialistic but not less status-seeking.

Useless kumbaya degrees have zero value. I’d run the other way if someone was bragging about that waste of time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s also a proxy for qualities like intellectual curiosity, stamina and ambition - with the benefit of having been vetted by an admissions panel.

Yes they will have more money…unless you choose one of the lazy ones. If that happens you can alway come here and post about it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Well-educated" = financially well off. The same as when women say they want a man who is "ambitious".

LOL is this a joke?

There are FAR TOO MANY well educated americans who went to college, are deep in student debt and live paycheck to paycheck.

This comment is hilarious.

PhDs not 100% funded by grants are also a waste of time and a dime a dozen. From dating and my circles it was the type who don’t want a real job, want to stay hiding in academia for years or decades, indecisive people who can’t deal with managing people or decisions under uncertainty (aka real world, real jobs), and just like to hear themselves lecture on their pet projects.

Also run the other way. Only like 5-10% ever get a decent paying job and reach the masses or sell what they’re peddling or specializing in. And once in the spotlight you can’t go on TV or a think tank and be an introvert.

[Anonymous]

Well, OP, what is it with men’s obsession that a woman be thin? A fat woman can be smart, fun and interesting, and can be really good in bed. But so many men will immediately reject a woman if her clothing size isn’t a single digit. If a man is still single and frustrated that some women have standards he simply can’t meet, why add yet *another* filter that further winnows down your available options?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Education is one of the new status symbols. Newer generations are less materialistic but not less status-seeking.

It’s not a symbol. Higher education actually DOES carry higher status.

Ugh. What do you mean, it’s not a symbol? Status is a symbol, it’s not reflecting an objective, tangible thing that you can grasp. It’s something that humans came up with, and therefore is symbolic. We choose things like money, beauty, education as symbols of status, but we could easily have chosen other things. My point is, you say that higher education carries higher status, as if that is some fact of nature. It doesn’t carry higher status any more than any other thing.

Uhm it actually does. A harvard or Stanford educated person is considered an elite in this country.

Ivy League has declined itself greatly over the last 10 years. They are now just a political agenda tool for liberals and generate annual grads with no marketable skills or actual knowledge. Half of Harvard is sociology studies majors out to change the system to their personal utopia.

We stopped donating. And have no desire for any of our children to go to Ivy League activist schools. Professors are increasingly all from the same cloth as anyone with a different view or even central view gets bullied out by leftist students or peers.

If you think an Ivy League degree or experience is anything but indoctrination, you’re drunk on koolaid. Absolutely would not hire one unless I was an activist non profit doing reparations, open borders, politics, lgbtq.

[Anonymous]

Lol - is the assumption here that, like men, women should date hot but dumb? Or dumb but rich?

I have never required that the men I date have the same level of education that I do (PhD). I once dated someone that only had a high school degree. At every opportunity he brought up my education because I think it made him feel insecure. He eventually cheated on me, so buh bye!