Have a 2 mo old and told to move out.

[Anonymous]

Things have been really rough between my fiancé and I since we had a baby two months ago. Last night we got into another fight and he told me I should move out and we need to split custody. We've been together for five years, living together for two and a half in a house we bought together for all intents and purposes but I'm not on any paperwork because we aren't married and at the time I had mediocre credit. I have no furniture or assets or money; he has controlled all the money for awhile now. When we moved in together I was coming from my studio apartment in DC so didn't have much to begin with.

I realize this makes me sound totally clueless and stupid. I'm not, but I have gone along with way too much for the take of trying to maintain harmony. Now I'm realizing how royally screwed I am and have no idea where to even start. There's also no way I can fathom splitting custody 50/50 of my tiny baby. What do I do? Where do I even begin? I'm so lost.

[Anonymous]

I'm confused. He owns the house? His name only is on the mortgage and the deed? But have you been paying expenses? Sigh. Not smart.

That said, I think you may still have a right to stay there, at least temporarily. Where do you live?

[Anonymous]

You don't split 50/50 of an infant. If you are breastfeeding he won't get more than a few hours at a stretch.

[Anonymous]

Don't leave. He will have to evict you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't split 50/50 of an infant. If you are breastfeeding he won't get more than a few hours at a stretch.

You pump, but either way, it is your house too. In less you leave and take the baby (before either one of you files custody as then you can legally do it), I would move into another room or the baby room and stay.

[Anonymous]

Don't leave. Stop paying. Let him try to evict.

[Anonymous]

Lawyer up. Do NOT leave.

[Anonymous]

If you have been living together for 2 1/2 years, this may constitute a common law marriage. I am not from here, so I don't know what the laws are here -- but where I am from (Canada) you would be considered his common-law wife at this point and entitled to some of the home.

Call a family law center in your area for advice. I would not move out. Move to a different room for now. Tell him that you want to work on things just to give yourself a little more time.

Also, please know that having an infant is a low point in many relationships. It is incredibly hard. You may be able to recover from this.

[Anonymous]

I know VA doesn't have common law marriage, and I don't think MD does either.

You are probably entitled to child support. Will he acknowledge paternity?

Do you have a job?

I would move to a different bedroom while you get yours ducks in a row, find someplace else to live, and work out custody.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Go to a women's center and see about legal help.

Why did you have a baby with someone you aren't married to? I genuinely don't understand why people do this.

[Anonymous]

There is a women's center in Vienna that can connect you with an attorney to get a free legal consultation. I will try to find the exact name and post it on this thread for you.

Try to tally up how much you have paid into the house (down payment, closing costs, monthly contribution to mortgage, repairs, upgrades, etc...), this way if the house has appreciated in value you can get some of that appreciation. If you are not in danger then do not leave. Move to the basement or other floor or area of the house.

[Anonymous]

PP here...
Www.thewomenscenter.org
There is a tab in the website for families and relationships, when you click that it takes you to a list of topics. Separation and divorce are under the mental health section. You can email or call to get guidance on what to do. I know you are not legally married but they can steer you in the right direction as far as your legal rights with custody and splitting up assets. Good luck and hang in there!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go to a women's center and see about legal help.

Why did you have a baby with someone you aren't married to? I genuinely don't understand why people do this.

You don't need to understand.

OP don't leave. Stay safe and be the mother bear for that infant. You will be surprised at your newly found emotional strength.

[Anonymous]

Don't leave. He can't kick you out. Get a lawyer- you'll have to anyway for custody issues.

[Anonymous]

Heh. Did you put him on the birth certificate? If not, that will seriously slow down his ability to get any custody.