Top regrets in life

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Law school.

Choosing to settle in an area with high costs of living instead of moving to a mid-size city earlier in life before having kids. Now moving is so much harder but the challenges of living in an expensive place have multiplied.

I feel your pain, I'm a non-profit attorney living in Falls Church. Luckily I married well, and my spouse makes 3X my salary and is a lot richer than I am. But he pays most of the bills, 529s and travel, and I am very grateful that I can fully fund my retirement accounts and invest my own money into my brokerage account.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lost Love Update

Hello regretful friends. I mustered up my courage and talked to an old friend whose brother was the same year as my love. It’s a little a bit of a stretch for him to just say hi, but he had a sort of legitimate reason to call. I still think it was awkward, but he called and said that his MIL has a malady in my guy’s specialty [true], and he was wondering if he had an opinion about the many programs in Boston [this was kind of false- it obviously never occurred to him to ask].

Naturally the call started with some short chatter. Friend’s brother asked about the professorship and tried to casually see if he was bicoastal or moved. Answer was sort of evasive. He did talk about his kids but did not mention his wife at all. Friend’s brother asked “How’s Jane?” and the answer was fine with a subject change. Then they just talked about the MIL and options (thank you brother’s friend).

My cousin figured out that my lost love lives in a state with publicly accessible property records and court dockets (although if you have an uncontested divorce, which I think he would, nothing would show anyway). Right now, nothing shows in dockets and their properties are co-owned or trust owned. Nothing is for sale.

It definitely seems like something could be up. But it’s not definitive by any means. If I decide to contact him myself, or find out anything big, I will start a new thread.

I was the pp that suggested reaching out to a person you both knew for info. I'm glad you did it. The timing is probably not right for a connection since he is dealing with marital issues but there could be in the future.

[Anonymous]

Nada.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lost Love Update

Hello regretful friends. I mustered up my courage and talked to an old friend whose brother was the same year as my love. It’s a little a bit of a stretch for him to just say hi, but he had a sort of legitimate reason to call. I still think it was awkward, but he called and said that his MIL has a malady in my guy’s specialty [true], and he was wondering if he had an opinion about the many programs in Boston [this was kind of false- it obviously never occurred to him to ask].

Naturally the call started with some short chatter. Friend’s brother asked about the professorship and tried to casually see if he was bicoastal or moved. Answer was sort of evasive. He did talk about his kids but did not mention his wife at all. Friend’s brother asked “How’s Jane?” and the answer was fine with a subject change. Then they just talked about the MIL and options (thank you brother’s friend).

My cousin figured out that my lost love lives in a state with publicly accessible property records and court dockets (although if you have an uncontested divorce, which I think he would, nothing would show anyway). Right now, nothing shows in dockets and their properties are co-owned or trust owned. Nothing is for sale.

It definitely seems like something could be up. But it’s not definitive by any means. If I decide to contact him myself, or find out anything big, I will start a new thread.

I was the pp that suggested reaching out to a person you both knew for info. I'm glad you did it. The timing is probably not right for a connection since he is dealing with marital issues but there could be in the future.

Thanks PP. IDK if anything will ever happen but I don’t regret taking a tiny step.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lost Love Update

Hello regretful friends. I mustered up my courage and talked to an old friend whose brother was the same year as my love. It’s a little a bit of a stretch for him to just say hi, but he had a sort of legitimate reason to call. I still think it was awkward, but he called and said that his MIL has a malady in my guy’s specialty [true], and he was wondering if he had an opinion about the many programs in Boston [this was kind of false- it obviously never occurred to him to ask].

Naturally the call started with some short chatter. Friend’s brother asked about the professorship and tried to casually see if he was bicoastal or moved. Answer was sort of evasive. He did talk about his kids but did not mention his wife at all. Friend’s brother asked “How’s Jane?” and the answer was fine with a subject change. Then they just talked about the MIL and options (thank you brother’s friend).

My cousin figured out that my lost love lives in a state with publicly accessible property records and court dockets (although if you have an uncontested divorce, which I think he would, nothing would show anyway). Right now, nothing shows in dockets and their properties are co-owned or trust owned. Nothing is for sale.

It definitely seems like something could be up. But it’s not definitive by any means. If I decide to contact him myself, or find out anything big, I will start a new thread.

I was the pp that suggested reaching out to a person you both knew for info. I'm glad you did it. The timing is probably not right for a connection since he is dealing with marital issues but there could be in the future.

Thanks PP. IDK if anything will ever happen but I don’t regret taking a tiny step.

Good for you, PP! What a bold move and just maybe you've set into motion some wheels of the universe that either puts you two back in the same place, or something even better for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lost Love Update

Hello regretful friends. I mustered up my courage and talked to an old friend whose brother was the same year as my love. It’s a little a bit of a stretch for him to just say hi, but he had a sort of legitimate reason to call. I still think it was awkward, but he called and said that his MIL has a malady in my guy’s specialty [true], and he was wondering if he had an opinion about the many programs in Boston [this was kind of false- it obviously never occurred to him to ask].

Naturally the call started with some short chatter. Friend’s brother asked about the professorship and tried to casually see if he was bicoastal or moved. Answer was sort of evasive. He did talk about his kids but did not mention his wife at all. Friend’s brother asked “How’s Jane?” and the answer was fine with a subject change. Then they just talked about the MIL and options (thank you brother’s friend).

My cousin figured out that my lost love lives in a state with publicly accessible property records and court dockets (although if you have an uncontested divorce, which I think he would, nothing would show anyway). Right now, nothing shows in dockets and their properties are co-owned or trust owned. Nothing is for sale.

It definitely seems like something could be up. But it’s not definitive by any means. If I decide to contact him myself, or find out anything big, I will start a new thread.

I was the pp that suggested reaching out to a person you both knew for info. I'm glad you did it. The timing is probably not right for a connection since he is dealing with marital issues but there could be in the future.

Thank you for the update! I am crossing my fingers and toes for you! Please come back if you have set the universe in motion and there is an update!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel such disgust toward women who take their husband’s surname.

this is odd. I married in 1987. And I have four kids that life would have been more complicated for if I had a different last name.
Also, his sounds better than my maiden name and it's very unique.
That said, my maiden name is now my legal middle name and also the name of one of my sons.

[Anonymous]

Not having way more sex with many more women in college. I look back at photos when I was going, and I gotta say, I was really fit and quite physically attractive. I just had zero confidence back then.

[Anonymous]

Not being more confident in my 20’s and 30’s. I was hot then.

[Anonymous]

Almost all my husband's family resent me not taking his surname in marriage. I'm for a different country where it was very unusual back then not taking the husband's surname. But I always was so happy with my name and never wanted to change. My husband wasn't overly happy about it but I told him it wasn't an option. Many times people compliment about my name. With my husband's name it would be just so boring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel such disgust toward women who take their husband’s surname.

I took my wife’s surname (I’m a woman). Disgusted or nah?

Flex your thinking. I took my husband's Slavic last name because my maiden name reminded everyone of a doll..sort of like "Holly Hobbie". It was cute until I was about 12.

Who are you most likely to listen to without internally laughing---Holly Savchenkov or Holly Hobbie?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel such disgust toward women who take their husband’s surname.

I took my wife’s surname (I’m a woman). Disgusted or nah?

Flex your thinking. I took my husband's Slavic last name because my maiden name reminded everyone of a doll..sort of like "Holly Hobbie". It was cute until I was about 12.

Who are you most likely to listen to without internally laughing---Holly Savchenkov or Holly Hobbie?

Prob neither

[Anonymous]

Je ne regrette rien

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lost Love Update

Hello regretful friends. I mustered up my courage and talked to an old friend whose brother was the same year as my love. It’s a little a bit of a stretch for him to just say hi, but he had a sort of legitimate reason to call. I still think it was awkward, but he called and said that his MIL has a malady in my guy’s specialty [true], and he was wondering if he had an opinion about the many programs in Boston [this was kind of false- it obviously never occurred to him to ask].

Naturally the call started with some short chatter. Friend’s brother asked about the professorship and tried to casually see if he was bicoastal or moved. Answer was sort of evasive. He did talk about his kids but did not mention his wife at all. Friend’s brother asked “How’s Jane?” and the answer was fine with a subject change. Then they just talked about the MIL and options (thank you brother’s friend).

My cousin figured out that my lost love lives in a state with publicly accessible property records and court dockets (although if you have an uncontested divorce, which I think he would, nothing would show anyway). Right now, nothing shows in dockets and their properties are co-owned or trust owned. Nothing is for sale.

It definitely seems like something could be up. But it’s not definitive by any means. If I decide to contact him myself, or find out anything big, I will start a new thread.

I was the pp that suggested reaching out to a person you both knew for info. I'm glad you did it. The timing is probably not right for a connection since he is dealing with marital issues but there could be in the future.

Thank you for the update! I am crossing my fingers and toes for you! Please come back if you have set the universe in motion and there is an update!

You're hoping he gets a divorce. Weirdo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lost Love Update

Hello regretful friends. I mustered up my courage and talked to an old friend whose brother was the same year as my love. It’s a little a bit of a stretch for him to just say hi, but he had a sort of legitimate reason to call. I still think it was awkward, but he called and said that his MIL has a malady in my guy’s specialty [true], and he was wondering if he had an opinion about the many programs in Boston [this was kind of false- it obviously never occurred to him to ask].

Naturally the call started with some short chatter. Friend’s brother asked about the professorship and tried to casually see if he was bicoastal or moved. Answer was sort of evasive. He did talk about his kids but did not mention his wife at all. Friend’s brother asked “How’s Jane?” and the answer was fine with a subject change. Then they just talked about the MIL and options (thank you brother’s friend).

My cousin figured out that my lost love lives in a state with publicly accessible property records and court dockets (although if you have an uncontested divorce, which I think he would, nothing would show anyway). Right now, nothing shows in dockets and their properties are co-owned or trust owned. Nothing is for sale.

It definitely seems like something could be up. But it’s not definitive by any means. If I decide to contact him myself, or find out anything big, I will start a new thread.

It seems like it's DOA.