Ferber - how many nights?

[Anonymous]

Hi,

For those who used the Ferber method to sleep train, how many nights did it take for your kids to stop crying for extended periods at bedtime?

Thanks!!!

[Anonymous]

We Ferberized both of our kids, and in both cases it took only one night. As far as I'm concerned, the man deserves a monument named after him.

[Anonymous]

Oof. We are up to a week now - he cries for about an hour before he finally falls asleep. It is really painful and discouraging!

The bright spot is once he does fall asleep he stays asleep until morning. This from a 7 month old who consistently woke every 2 or 3 hours throughout the night, wanting to play.

We do the same bedtime routine we have done since he was 2 months old, the only difference is we now put him down awake. He doesn't nap late in the afternoon and I know he's tired, he just cries until he passes out. Is it possible to do Ferber wrong?

[Anonymous]

what's ferber?

[Anonymous]

2 nights for us ... both times.

Ferber is the author of a book on sleeping- it's a great resource.

[Anonymous]

Four nights, with less and less time each night. Then he just decided to fall asleep nursing. He did fine when I weaned him at one year.
Naps, however, took much longer and were brutal.

[Anonymous]

2 nights. 2 hours of middle of the night crying night one. 15 minutes night two.

While that first night sucked, it has been AWESOME since. And that was 3 months ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oof. We are up to a week now - he cries for about an hour before he finally falls asleep. It is really painful and discouraging!

The bright spot is once he does fall asleep he stays asleep until morning. This from a 7 month old who consistently woke every 2 or 3 hours throughout the night, wanting to play.

We do the same bedtime routine we have done since he was 2 months old, the only difference is we now put him down awake. He doesn't nap late in the afternoon and I know he's tired, he just cries until he passes out. Is it possible to do Ferber wrong?

Maybe you are putting him down too late? He must know how to soothe since he's done w/night wakings so I wonder if he is overtired...?

For OP - Ferber took us 3 nights. DS was 9 months. Night 1 about 45 minutes crying, Night 2 was worse, Night 3 was better. HOWEVER, DS work at an ungodly early hour (4:30/5!) for about 6 months after training. However, this eventually passed and now he does a good 11 - sometimes the magic 12 - hours per night.

[Anonymous]

With my first it took 4 nights. With my second we are currently at night 14 and he can still cry for more then an hour and a half and even then after he falls asleep will wake up a couple hours later and do it again. There is no consistent answer to this question and Ferber will not always be successful. We are about to give up b/c its just too painful for the whole family.

[Anonymous]

For me it took 3 nights with every night significantly less crying but I heard you need to allow at least one week. Note: You must RE-ferber after any illness or vacation as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We Ferberized both of our kids, and in both cases it took only one night. As far as I'm concerned, the man deserves a monument named after him.

Amen! It took two nights for us, but even that second night was a drastic improvement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oof. We are up to a week now - he cries for about an hour before he finally falls asleep. It is really painful and discouraging!

The bright spot is once he does fall asleep he stays asleep until morning. This from a 7 month old who consistently woke every 2 or 3 hours throughout the night, wanting to play.

We do the same bedtime routine we have done since he was 2 months old, the only difference is we now put him down awake. He doesn't nap late in the afternoon and I know he's tired, he just cries until he passes out. Is it possible to do Ferber wrong?

Maybe you are putting him down too late? He must know how to soothe since he's done w/night wakings so I wonder if he is overtired...?

For OP - Ferber took us 3 nights. DS was 9 months. Night 1 about 45 minutes crying, Night 2 was worse, Night 3 was better. HOWEVER, DS work at an ungodly early hour (4:30/5!) for about 6 months after training. However, this eventually passed and now he does a good 11 - sometimes the magic 12 - hours per night.

Maybe he is overtired, I could try changing the bedtime to earlier. (I am the OP by the way - sorry, should have identified myself in my second post!)

While we have seen much improvement in his sleep, I just hate that he is still crying for an hour before falling asleep each night. I know he is well-rested and he is happier baby throughout the day, so I hate to bail on Ferber yet, but I feel like I'm training my baby to cry for an hour before bedtime each night, which isn't the routine I had in mind! I just keep waiting for him to decide it's not worth it to cry since I'm not going to pick it up, but he is very strong-willed so who knows how long he can keep this up. Oh, so frustrating....

Thanks for the helpful replies, by the way. I've been resisting even posting this question since CIO issues tends to generate nasty replies on this board, but it's SO nice to hear from other moms who used this method. Even if they seemed to have better luck with it than I.

[Anonymous]

not to hi-jack this post, but when is it too late to ferberize? my DS is 16 months. he puts himself to sleep just fine. that after a year of me or DH rocking and singing him to sleep. he's a champ at that now. but he wakes up once or twice a night, and then is up for good at 4 a.m.! if we go in this room and DON'T pick him up, but just pat him on the back, it pisses him off even more. if we pick him up, give him a sip of water, and a kiss, he goes right back to sleep (whole process is 2 to 5 minutes). but i'm ready for a baby who sleeps through the night!!

what do you ferberizers think? is it too late? and would it be cruel at this age?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:not to hi-jack this post, but when is it too late to ferberize? my DS is 16 months. he puts himself to sleep just fine. that after a year of me or DH rocking and singing him to sleep. he's a champ at that now. but he wakes up once or twice a night, and then is up for good at 4 a.m.! if we go in this room and DON'T pick him up, but just pat him on the back, it pisses him off even more. if we pick him up, give him a sip of water, and a kiss, he goes right back to sleep (whole process is 2 to 5 minutes). but i'm ready for a baby who sleeps through the night!!

what do you ferberizers think? is it too late? and would it be cruel at this age?

No, it is not to late but do it NOW before he learns how to negotiate!

[Anonymous]

to OP - it took us about 3 nights of hell and a bit longer of milder pain - our son was about 10 months old. I'd try putting your son down early - are you doing the increasing time b/w visits?