Holidays at relatives - and they don't bother with Church
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| It's a couple of times now they I have been invited to in-laws home out of town for Christmas or Easter for a nice family dinner, when all goes well except that at the last minute, they decide we don't have time to make it to Church, because that is when cousin so-and-so is arriving, or something needs to go in teh oven, etc. . I specifically ask weeks ahead, what time is Church? and as far as I know, there are intentions to go, but clearly they do not prioritize it as highly as I do. To me, Easter is a religious holiday - dinner with family is also important, but quite frankly can happen any day. I have not really made a huge deal out of it because me kids are still small but this is not how I want to raise my kids, and I am not sure how to handle it except to host all major holidays in the future myself. Anyone dealt with this before? |
Anonymous
| What is the big deal? Can't you go to church on your own while there? And then come back to the house after? |
Anonymous
| Have a car, look up service times online, speak up, and go. |
Anonymous
Plus one |
Anonymous
| Yes, this is what I do as well. After a while they stopped the pretense. |
Anonymous
I would but I don't know the area, or the churches. And if it means I miss dinner / brunch that my mother in law just cooked, it would be kind of hostile... |
Anonymous
| Why don't you just go to church by yourself then? |
Anonymous
| Usually you can find an early service. |
Anonymous
This is really not the challenge you are making it out to be. Look up area churches ahead of time (www.google.com is helpful here) and Politely apologize for having to miss the meal but say you want to go to church services and would love some leftovers when you get back. That is not hostile. |
Anonymous
Do some research ahead of time. Ask your relatives which church they attend, look it up online, and figure out when the service is. Then let the relatives know you will attend that service so no one will be surprised or offended. |
Anonymous
|
When you are making plans or when you first arrive, tell them what service you intend to attend.
"We will be gone Sunday morning from about 9-11 for the church service." |
Anonymous
Yup. |
Anonymous
Your in laws presumably aren't moving around so you just have to find one church that suits and then go to it each time you are there. Look up the denominations you are interested in online and find a couple churches that seem like a good fit. Google maps will tell you how close they are to your inlaws and will even give you directions. Let your inlaws know when you will be at church. If your inlaws mention something that conflicts, be clear but gracious. I've invited cousin Bob for brunch at 10 on Sunday - just say, oh we should be back from church by about noon, hopefully cousin Bob is still here and we can visit with him them. |
Anonymous
|
I'm one to prioritize family and food over church-going, but I agree with PPs about announcing well ahead of time and repeating which church service you are planning to attend and at what time you are leaving the house and coming back. Easy to organize ahead of time with Google map. Try to choose something that will have you back in time for the main meal. |
Anonymous
|
I have never heard of families (who don't go to the same church) going to church together. We either go the night before or in the am and then meet for dinner.
Sometimes grandparents will go to church with us but they stay with us from out of town. |