High potential programs - how can you groom your child early on or is it, you're just born smart?

[Anonymous]

DD is starting to read at 4, I really want her in one of those gifted programs. What's the best way to approach this? We are from a disadvantaged background so any way to uplift our family that doesn't cost a lot of money I am willing to put the time in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD is starting to read at 4, I really want her in one of those gifted programs. What's the best way to approach this? We are from a disadvantaged background so any way to uplift our family that doesn't cost a lot of money I am willing to put the time in.

Unless you want your child to develop anxiety, cutting and be in therapy for years and years as and adult, mostly let your child BE who they were meant to be!

If she shows interest in something look for the teachable moments to expand her interest. Watch for when you are pushing too much and STOP.

[Anonymous]

Read to your child every day (at least 30 minutes). Listen to music and audio books when in the car. Have music on at home. Talk to your child without using baby talk, Use your full vocabulary. Take your child to the library- utlizied the programs there, Smithsonian museums, zoo, art museums, aquariums, children's museums..... Play with your child on the floor every day. Let them play with the pots and pans. Get some blocks and cars and dolls. When they are old enough get them some legos - plain ones - a bucket of odds and ends- easy to find at yards sales and church rummage sales. Play peakaboo. Snuggle with your child. Hug them every day. Look them in the eye. Let them help you with cleaning and cooking - even if it means taking longer and more clean up. Take chances, make mistakes, get messy. GO on hikes and nature walks- plenty of nature centers in the area. Walk on the tow path. Bike out to Mount Vernon. Get a fish tank. Take advantage of the free stuff at Milenium Stage at the Kennedy Center. Take them to children's plays. In the absence of active grandparents or Aunts and Uncles, find other adults that they can meet and connect. Go to the airport and watch the planes land and take off. Take the metro and get in the first car and watch the tunnels. Take them out for a picnic on the Mall and fly a kite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD is starting to read at 4, I really want her in one of those gifted programs. What's the best way to approach this? We are from a disadvantaged background so any way to uplift our family that doesn't cost a lot of money I am willing to put the time in.

Read "Unequal Childhoods: Class, Race, and Family Life" by Annette Lareau--it describes differences in how high-income, educated families raise their kids and how disadvantaged families approach it. Just knowing more about how well-educated people approach conversations with their kids, discussions with schools, etc may help you take a different approach in supporting your child's development and advocating for her in the educational system. What these groups of parents did differently wasn't all about spending money--a lot of it was about "grooming"--raising kids to expect a lot from the world.

[Anonymous]

Here's a wonderful resource for parents who enjoy reading aloud to their children or those seeking tips on how to integrate reading aloud into their daily life: "The Read-Aloud Handbook" by Jim Trelease. Updated with a new edition in 2013, this classic parenting book is filled with proven strategies to encourage a lifelong love of reading in children. In it, Trelease, an educator and expert on reading aloud, explores the current research supporting the value of reading aloud to children, offers tips on reading aloud techniques that help build literacy, and shares many anecdotes from parents about their read aloud journeys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:one of those gifted programs

What sort of gifted programs are you thinking of--public elementary school? Your options are very dependent on where you live, and it's important to know that the best programs are ones that will work with kids as individuals, building on their strengths, helping them to address their weaknesses. A program doesn't have to have a "gifted" focus for them to work with bright kids.


11:51 has great ideas for providing your child with an enriching environment at home, which will mean the best start for any child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD is starting to read at 4, I really want her in one of those gifted programs. What's the best way to approach this? We are from a disadvantaged background so any way to uplift our family that doesn't cost a lot of money I am willing to put the time in.

Read "Unequal Childhoods: Class, Race, and Family Life" by Annette Lareau--it describes differences in how high-income, educated families raise their kids and how disadvantaged families approach it. Just knowing more about how well-educated people approach conversations with their kids, discussions with schools, etc may help you take a different approach in supporting your child's development and advocating for her in the educational system. What these groups of parents did differently wasn't all about spending money--a lot of it was about "grooming"--raising kids to expect a lot from the world.

Sidenote: I have been trying to get this book at the FCPL system and they do not have it. I cannot believe Ffx County wouldn't have this book. OK, sorry to hijack. Carry on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Read to your child every day (at least 30 minutes). Listen to music and audio books when in the car. Have music on at home. Talk to your child without using baby talk, Use your full vocabulary. Take your child to the library- utlizied the programs there, Smithsonian museums, zoo, art museums, aquariums, children's museums..... Play with your child on the floor every day. Let them play with the pots and pans. Get some blocks and cars and dolls. When they are old enough get them some legos - plain ones - a bucket of odds and ends- easy to find at yards sales and church rummage sales. Play peakaboo. Snuggle with your child. Hug them every day. Look them in the eye. Let them help you with cleaning and cooking - even if it means taking longer and more clean up. Take chances, make mistakes, get messy. GO on hikes and nature walks- plenty of nature centers in the area. Walk on the tow path. Bike out to Mount Vernon. Get a fish tank. Take advantage of the free stuff at Milenium Stage at the Kennedy Center. Take them to children's plays. In the absence of active grandparents or Aunts and Uncles, find other adults that they can meet and connect. Go to the airport and watch the planes land and take off. Take the metro and get in the first car and watch the tunnels. Take them out for a picnic on the Mall and fly a kite.

This. So much of what gives some kids advantages happen outside the classroom. Use big words. Explain them as necessary. Read, read, read, read, and read some more.


FWIW, I'm reading "Myth of the Spoiled a Child" right now and one thing Kohn points out "controlling parenting has been associated with lower levels of intrinsic motivation." Not saying you are controlling, but I post this to support PP's more laid-back approach. Because this has been my experience. The moms who control every aspect of their child's lives, particularly their education, in hopes of getting into the best program/best school/best college have, without exception, completely unmotivated kids. The moms who support and encourage their kids without programming every minute of every day, seem to have very motivated kids. And motivation will help carry your child a long way.

There is natural intelligence, of course, but don't discount practice. It matters a lot.

[Anonymous]

As a school counselor I was on my school system's GT screening panel and helped decide who was admitted to the program and who was not. We did not give high scores based on who was a better reader or was able to memorize the most information. We looked at work samples- both written and artistic. I had parents submit student directed projects created at home that provided evidence of a higher level thought process.

I also brought applicants into my office to complete worksheets- this was helpful because it allowed us an "apples to apples" comparison of applicants in the same grades.

I looked for kids who made connections that just didn't occur to every kid, their creativity reached higher levels than with other kids. They never "just" answered the questions- they provided more details and more information. I've had parents appeal the decision because she thought her DS/DD was the smartest kid out there "Just look at his grades!" But good grades don't equal gifted ability.

One thing I love about this area is that there are so many opportunities to participate in free activities. Take DD out and about as often as you can. Ask and Explain - All-The-Time! Open ended questions are key to helping your child think creatively and express themselves better.

Read. All kinds of books. Play all kinds of music- and talk about the origins of it. Show her art. The Smithsonian has a free kids series where the kids learn about artists and create similar types of art. It's really awesome. Libraries- in MoCo many libraries have discovery play rooms full of toys, puzzles, dress up, etc- other counties may have something similar. Also most have kid appropriate computer software- it will help her become familiar with technology if you don't have it at home. Build. Give her lots of opportunities to build things using a variety of material- it doesn't have to be with insanely expensive Legos- use what you have and let her get creative with it. Joke and play with words- have her tell you at least one made up joke every day.

I also highly recommend joining Our-Kids. It costs (about $12.00 a year I think)- but it's (IMO) the single best resource in the DC area for parents who want activities for young kids. Some things will cost, some things will be free but it's great to know about what's out there so you can make the choice for yourself. Our Kids also has GREAT giveaways (products and tickets to area events).

Once DD is in school I recommend that you stay in touch with the teacher. Volunteer as much as you can and get to know the staff- that way they get to know you and your daughter so if anything does come up you already have a connection to them. Also- as a counselor I was regularly told about programs or companies offering free or reduced cost services for students. Please let her/him know that you are interested in opportunities for your daughter to participate in such activities. Schools also generally have a fund to help with field trips, after school activities, etc.

I also read Unequal Childhoods and found it incredibly enlightening. One of the things that struck me was the difference between the number of words the lower class subjects heard (or spoke) in a day and the number of words for a middle or upper class subject. I don't remember the numbers but the difference was startling and sad. I definitely well worth reading- find a librarian and request it if you can't find it.

The fact that you're asking about it means that your daughter is likely to receive opportunities that her socioeconomic peers may not. You have a fortunate DD. Good luck!!

[Anonymous]

eh, reading at 4 is pretty common.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:eh, reading at 4 is pretty common.

helpful response, jerk

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Read to your child every day (at least 30 minutes). Listen to music and audio books when in the car. Have music on at home. Talk to your child without using baby talk, Use your full vocabulary. Take your child to the library- utlizied the programs there, Smithsonian museums, zoo, art museums, aquariums, children's museums..... Play with your child on the floor every day. Let them play with the pots and pans. Get some blocks and cars and dolls. When they are old enough get them some legos - plain ones - a bucket of odds and ends- easy to find at yards sales and church rummage sales. Play peakaboo. Snuggle with your child. Hug them every day. Look them in the eye. Let them help you with cleaning and cooking - even if it means taking longer and more clean up. Take chances, make mistakes, get messy. GO on hikes and nature walks- plenty of nature centers in the area. Walk on the tow path. Bike out to Mount Vernon. Get a fish tank. Take advantage of the free stuff at Milenium Stage at the Kennedy Center. Take them to children's plays. In the absence of active grandparents or Aunts and Uncles, find other adults that they can meet and connect. Go to the airport and watch the planes land and take off. Take the metro and get in the first car and watch the tunnels. Take them out for a picnic on the Mall and fly a kite.

This might be the best post I've ever read on dcum

[Anonymous]

Read to your child every day and talk to her like she's not a child, so she picks up words that expand her vocabulary. Encourage her to explore the world around her, do field trips to interesting places. (do what 11:51 says.) Work on numbers and counting, addition and subtraction when she's ready.

If she's reading at 4, there's a fair chance she's brighter than average or maybe even gifted, and that'll show up in testing later on. (most of the 4-year-olds I know are NOT reading. I know many.) Not every bright kid is "gifted" though, and not every kid needs those programs to thrive, so try not to push too hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a school counselor I was on my school system's GT screening panel and helped decide who was admitted to the program and who was not. We did not give high scores based on who was a better reader or was able to memorize the most information. We looked at work samples- both written and artistic. I had parents submit student directed projects created at home that provided evidence of a higher level thought process.

I also brought applicants into my office to complete worksheets- this was helpful because it allowed us an "apples to apples" comparison of applicants in the same grades.

I looked for kids who made connections that just didn't occur to every kid, their creativity reached higher levels than with other kids. They never "just" answered the questions- they provided more details and more information. I've had parents appeal the decision because she thought her DS/DD was the smartest kid out there "Just look at his grades!" But good grades don't equal gifted ability.

One thing I love about this area is that there are so many opportunities to participate in free activities. Take DD out and about as often as you can. Ask and Explain - All-The-Time! Open ended questions are key to helping your child think creatively and express themselves better.

Read. All kinds of books. Play all kinds of music- and talk about the origins of it. Show her art. The Smithsonian has a free kids series where the kids learn about artists and create similar types of art. It's really awesome. Libraries- in MoCo many libraries have discovery play rooms full of toys, puzzles, dress up, etc- other counties may have something similar. Also most have kid appropriate computer software- it will help her become familiar with technology if you don't have it at home. Build. Give her lots of opportunities to build things using a variety of material- it doesn't have to be with insanely expensive Legos- use what you have and let her get creative with it. Joke and play with words- have her tell you at least one made up joke every day.

I also highly recommend joining Our-Kids. It costs (about $12.00 a year I think)- but it's (IMO) the single best resource in the DC area for parents who want activities for young kids. Some things will cost, some things will be free but it's great to know about what's out there so you can make the choice for yourself. Our Kids also has GREAT giveaways (products and tickets to area events).

Once DD is in school I recommend that you stay in touch with the teacher. Volunteer as much as you can and get to know the staff- that way they get to know you and your daughter so if anything does come up you already have a connection to them. Also- as a counselor I was regularly told about programs or companies offering free or reduced cost services for students. Please let her/him know that you are interested in opportunities for your daughter to participate in such activities. Schools also generally have a fund to help with field trips, after school activities, etc.

I also read Unequal Childhoods and found it incredibly enlightening. One of the things that struck me was the difference between the number of words the lower class subjects heard (or spoke) in a day and the number of words for a middle or upper class subject. I don't remember the numbers but the difference was startling and sad. I definitely well worth reading- find a librarian and request it if you can't find it.

The fact that you're asking about it means that your daughter is likely to receive opportunities that her socioeconomic peers may not. You have a fortunate DD. Good luck!!

Having potentially gifted students complete worksheets is NOT a good way to find gifted students. I am a school psychologist and I sometimes help refer kids for gifted programs. By first grade many gifted kids have learned to do the minimal amount of work because if they finish their worksheets quickly they are given another boring worksheet below their level. There is often no reward for providing more details and explanations. There certainly are gifted kids (and hardworking bright students) that will do worksheets and provide extra information and details, but they are the kids that traditionally get referred by teachers because they know how to please their teachers. A better informal test is to play a novel game that requires some skill. I have a German friend who brought over some logic games for kids. None of the kids have seen the games before. I teach them how to play the game and see how quickly they learn and can apply strategy. I also ask kids while playing if they could change a rule in the game what would they change to see if they understand what would work to their advantage. I have met some really gifted kids who are referred because the teacher thinks they have ADHD and in reality the kids are profoundly gifted and hate coming to school. They would rather disrupt class and/or not do their work because it is so tedious. These are the kids that really need a gifted program.

[Anonymous]

http://www.bostonglobe.com/ideas/2014/03/15/the-poor-neglected-gifted-child/rJpv8G4oeawWBBvXVtZyFM/story.html