Clueless Husband Gifts

[Anonymous]

Just a vent: I'm two weeks postpartum. Totally sleep deprived, bleeding, engorged, and baby has started colicky behavior. Begged DH for a night nurse or two hour break/massage, which have both been ignored . What does he give me for Valentines Day? Two sheer sexy Victoria Secret baby doll lingerie outfits and matching thongs. Really? For Christmas, while I was pregnant he got me a sharper image foot massager, which explicitly states on box "not for use by pregnant women."

Anyone else get some really clueless gifts?

[Anonymous]

He really does sound clueless. Go ahead and arrange the baby nurse and massage for yourself. Don't wait for him to get it.

[Anonymous]

Does he share baby duty? If not that's step 1.

While I agree it's kind of tone deaf maybe he read somewhere that he should let u know you're still sexy to him

[Anonymous]

That sucks. At least he could have gone for chocolates!

[Anonymous]

Why put it all on him? Order a night nurse yourself and tell him "thank you."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why put it all on him? Order a night nurse yourself and tell him "thank you."

+1 if you have time to complain on DCUM, you can order a night nurse. Just do it.

[Anonymous]

Get a night nurse today and sleep.

[Anonymous]

It's a sign that he thinks you are still sexy. I didn't realize you need permission from him to get a massage or night nurse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a sign that he thinks you are still sexy. I didn't realize you need permission from him to get a massage or night nurse.

Not OP but hiring someone to take care of our 2 week infant would definitely be a joint decision. Same with getting time off to get a massage. Someone has to care for the baby while she's gone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a sign that he thinks you are still sexy. I didn't realize you need permission from him to get a massage or night nurse.

Not OP but hiring someone to take care of our 2 week infant would definitely be a joint decision. Same with getting time off to get a massage. Someone has to care for the baby while she's gone.

Agree with PP and also second that his gift may be his way of saying you are sexually attractive. He's not a clueless dolt, but could use some guidance. "DH, the nighties are lovely, we should get some night help so I can get some sleep and we can try them out!" I know the lady parts are out if order but give him a BJ and he will think the night nurse is the best idea ever!

[Anonymous]

Oh he's just a stereotypical man, they are not good gift givers. I'm surprised he didn't get you a toy train set, LOL--seriously they are clueless! "oh, my wife just had a baby so I think I'll stop by Victoria's Secret" ha ha

I recognize you are in a rough spot, OP. Just remember, he's trying, and floundering---be kind to him, this is a big change for him as well.

The important thing is he's trying. Please focus on that. There are many complaints--search the posts--of men who don't try anymore; who don't give anything for birthdays/anniversaries/Valentine's Day. I am sure that some subset of them don't bother giving gifts because when they did, it wasn't the right gift so they just got berated for it.

I learned this one early, because with a former boyfriend I did that and wow, the gifts stop coming.

Remember when he stops trying, then you've got an issue. Not before.

[Anonymous]

Don't make it a two person decision. I know it should be but it won't be. Pick someone and if he doesn't like him/her, he can find the replacement. Right now the default is you suffering and him being just fine. Switch it around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a sign that he thinks you are still sexy. I didn't realize you need permission from him to get a massage or night nurse.

Not OP but hiring someone to take care of our 2 week infant would definitely be a joint decision. Same with getting time off to get a massage. Someone has to care for the baby while she's gone.

Agree with PP and also second that his gift may be his way of saying you are sexually attractive. He's not a clueless dolt, but could use some guidance. "DH, the nighties are lovely, we should get some night help so I can get some sleep and we can try them out!" I know the lady parts are out if order but give him a BJ and he will think the night nurse is the best idea ever!

OMG, this is the OP and I am laughing hysterically. Thanks, PP, you rock! Sucking his magic stick is about the last thing I am interested in right now, but if it gets me the night nurse....

[Anonymous]

My friends will immediately know this is me:

For my 40th birthday, DH got me a watch. Not just any watch. A digital watch. With a built-in calculator. Lots of tiny little buttons on it.

[Anonymous]

He probably accidentally switched your gift with the one he gave to his mistress. She was totally baffled when the night nurse showed up at her apartment...