my husband's mother hit my kid

[Anonymous]

You would immediately fire a nanny who behaved like this. That should tell you all you need to know about using MiL as a caregiver in the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You would immediately fire a nanny who behaved like this. That should tell you all you need to know about using MiL as a caregiver in the future.

The solution is for OP to spend more time caring for her own child instead of relying on her MIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here- For more context, I had just gotten out of the shower so I was getting dressed. My 4 year old was bent out of shape because he wanted to wear flip flops and we were going somewhere that required sneakers. I definitely did not like the way he was behaving but I don't think that deems him to be a nasty brat? I wouldn't have engaged in the power struggle with him. I would have put the shoes in front of him and headed towards the door. That type of approach typically works with him. My MIL (aka my husband's mother) was trying to forcibly put the shoes on for him and he kept yanking his feet away. I really do get it - that is maddening. But I would have never expected her to hit him! I was honestly stunned. I did appreciate her apology and transparency. I could tell she was embarrassed. But still...I can't imagine hitting someone else's child.

I feel like by hitting him, she muddied the waters because when I went to talk to him about what happened, I was more focused on "its never ok for anyone to hit you" rather than "your behavior was not ok".

MIL was helping the child get ready, At destination needed sneakers and wanted to wear sandals. MIL was totally out of line - kid puts on the sandals and you bring the sneakers and socks. This is like the kid wants to weat a T shirt but yy know it will get cool or isnt enough. You bri ng the jacket.

I would not have MIL babysit or help unsupervised.

Sounds like kid has needs far beyond MIL or most caregivers capabilities. Probably for the best. Just wait until the kid starts lashing out at school kicking at his teachers. OP can't just keep sticking her head in the sand.

Most competent caregivers can get an uncooperative four year old (like there’s any other kind…) into footwear without resorting to violence. Underpaid preschool teachers all over the country do better than this MIL because they’d be instantly fired if they behaved the way she did.

Don’t know any four year olds that act as poorly as OP’s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here- For more context, I had just gotten out of the shower so I was getting dressed. My 4 year old was bent out of shape because he wanted to wear flip flops and we were going somewhere that required sneakers. I definitely did not like the way he was behaving but I don't think that deems him to be a nasty brat? I wouldn't have engaged in the power struggle with him. I would have put the shoes in front of him and headed towards the door. That type of approach typically works with him. My MIL (aka my husband's mother) was trying to forcibly put the shoes on for him and he kept yanking his feet away. I really do get it - that is maddening. But I would have never expected her to hit him! I was honestly stunned. I did appreciate her apology and transparency. I could tell she was embarrassed. But still...I can't imagine hitting someone else's child.

I feel like by hitting him, she muddied the waters because when I went to talk to him about what happened, I was more focused on "its never ok for anyone to hit you" rather than "your behavior was not ok".

MIL was helping the child get ready, At destination needed sneakers and wanted to wear sandals. MIL was totally out of line - kid puts on the sandals and you bring the sneakers and socks. This is like the kid wants to weat a T shirt but yy know it will get cool or isnt enough. You bri ng the jacket.

I would not have MIL babysit or help unsupervised.

Sounds like kid has needs far beyond MIL or most caregivers capabilities. Probably for the best. Just wait until the kid starts lashing out at school kicking at his teachers. OP can't just keep sticking her head in the sand.

Most competent caregivers can get an uncooperative four year old (like there’s any other kind…) into footwear without resorting to violence. Underpaid preschool teachers all over the country do better than this MIL because they’d be instantly fired if they behaved the way she did.

Most 4 year olds don't kick their grandmothers. That's the problem We're not dealing with your average child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You would immediately fire a nanny who behaved like this. That should tell you all you need to know about using MiL as a caregiver in the future.

My kids have never ever kicked a caregiver. Have yours?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You would immediately fire a nanny who behaved like this. That should tell you all you need to know about using MiL as a caregiver in the future.

My kids have never ever kicked a caregiver. Have yours?

Has OP’s?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You would immediately fire a nanny who behaved like this. That should tell you all you need to know about using MiL as a caregiver in the future.

The solution is for OP to spend more time caring for her own child instead of relying on her MIL.

Or hire competent caregivers. MIL clearly isn’t up to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You would immediately fire a nanny who behaved like this. That should tell you all you need to know about using MiL as a caregiver in the future.

My kids have never ever kicked a caregiver. Have yours?

Oh look, OPs kid didn’t kick his caregiver. He pulled his feet away as she tried to force shoes on him. Your fanfiction doesn’t hold up if you read the thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You would immediately fire a nanny who behaved like this. That should tell you all you need to know about using MiL as a caregiver in the future.

The solution is for OP to spend more time caring for her own child instead of relying on her MIL.

Or hire competent caregivers. MIL clearly isn’t up to it.

Or OP. The kid has behavioral issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here- For more context, I had just gotten out of the shower so I was getting dressed. My 4 year old was bent out of shape because he wanted to wear flip flops and we were going somewhere that required sneakers. I definitely did not like the way he was behaving but I don't think that deems him to be a nasty brat? I wouldn't have engaged in the power struggle with him. I would have put the shoes in front of him and headed towards the door. That type of approach typically works with him. My MIL (aka my husband's mother) was trying to forcibly put the shoes on for him and he kept yanking his feet away. I really do get it - that is maddening. But I would have never expected her to hit him! I was honestly stunned. I did appreciate her apology and transparency. I could tell she was embarrassed. But still...I can't imagine hitting someone else's child.

I feel like by hitting him, she muddied the waters because when I went to talk to him about what happened, I was more focused on "its never ok for anyone to hit you" rather than "your behavior was not ok".

MIL was helping the child get ready, At destination needed sneakers and wanted to wear sandals. MIL was totally out of line - kid puts on the sandals and you bring the sneakers and socks. This is like the kid wants to weat a T shirt but yy know it will get cool or isnt enough. You bri ng the jacket.

I would not have MIL babysit or help unsupervised.

Sounds like kid has needs far beyond MIL or most caregivers capabilities. Probably for the best. Just wait until the kid starts lashing out at school kicking at his teachers. OP can't just keep sticking her head in the sand.

Most competent caregivers can get an uncooperative four year old (like there’s any other kind…) into footwear without resorting to violence. Underpaid preschool teachers all over the country do better than this MIL because they’d be instantly fired if they behaved the way she did.

Minimum wage daycare workers don’t give a hoot if your kid becomes a problem child or HS dropout. MIL does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You would immediately fire a nanny who behaved like this. That should tell you all you need to know about using MiL as a caregiver in the future.

The solution is for OP to spend more time caring for her own child instead of relying on her MIL.

Or hire competent caregivers. MIL clearly isn’t up to it.

Or OP. The kid has behavioral issues.

When did a 4 year old not wanting to put on shoes become a behavior issue?

[Anonymous]

This thread seems to have triggered a lot of MILs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You would immediately fire a nanny who behaved like this. That should tell you all you need to know about using MiL as a caregiver in the future.

The solution is for OP to spend more time caring for her own child instead of relying on her MIL.

Or hire competent caregivers. MIL clearly isn’t up to it.

Or OP. The kid has behavioral issues.

When did a 4 year old not wanting to put on shoes become a behavior issue?

He's pre-K. Should not be problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Forgive once but don't let it happen again?

I just say this because it wasn't too bad. I lost my cool before and scared myself silly. I never lost it again.

I'm about as patient and gentle as they come but I swatted my misbehaving kid once when he was around that age. Surprised him, surprised me. I never did it again. I guess we are the only imperfect parents out there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You would immediately fire a nanny who behaved like this. That should tell you all you need to know about using MiL as a caregiver in the future.

The solution is for OP to spend more time caring for her own child instead of relying on her MIL.

Or hire competent caregivers. MIL clearly isn’t up to it.

Or OP. The kid has behavioral issues.

Even OP is scared of her kid. Puts the shoes near him but not on him. Wonder why.