Think twice before hiring an advocate…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My emotions are well regulated, which is why I continue to show up every day and work with your kids. But am going to be requesting a move to a lower SES school for next year. I know the grass isn’t always greener, but at least I’ll feel like my efforts and knowledge are appreciated, instead of questioned at every step.

wow well, thanks for saying the quiet part out loud. PS - you may be suprised to find out that the “lower SES” moms are just as assertive as the “high SES” moms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s nice to see so clearly what teachers think about families of SN kids. I ve never “ bullied” a teacher or a person in my life but

I’m a parent who is addressing the PP who is being a dick to teachers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s nice to see so clearly what teachers think about families of SN kids. I ve never “ bullied” a teacher or a person in my life but

I’m a parent who is addressing the PP who is being a dick to teachers.

^ A parent of a SN kid who did use an advocate FWIW

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s nice to see so clearly what teachers think about families of SN kids. I ve never “ bullied” a teacher or a person in my life but

I’m a parent who is addressing the PP who is being a dick to teachers.

This is the SN board. If a teacher wants to moan about their job, spout absurdities about the law, and otherwise defame parents, they may head over to the Jobs & Careers section.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The topic should be: Think twice before trusting a school to meet your child's needs.

Totally, a Sped teacher telling parents not to hire an advocate really says it all.

What really says it all to me, as a sped teacher, are parents telling other parents to hire an advocate before they even meet their child's team.

It says:
1) I don't trust the school team to understand my child's needs.
2) I don't trust the school team to give my child what he does need, if they figure it out.
3) I need to hire an outside person, who is financially benefiting from my child's school "trying to fail them". That person will actually DO their job unlike these school people who are out trying to actively hurt kids and deny what they need! (what a joke).

The adversarial relationship that is started before day one does not benefit your child. But by all means, continue hiring advocates, continue fighting over the wording of that goal, continue acting like your child's teachers are enemies and hacks who know nothing.

Just don't be surprised when there is a post a few days later stating " My child can't get their services because there is no teacher to provide them" (literally a post from the top of this board this week).

[phone]
This one million times.
What do families expect? They mistrust and hate the system, attack and hate ALL staff, then want the system to provide for them. then they wonder why staff don’t want to work with them.

So, that's your takeaway from this thread where so many have recounted terrible experiences with their IEP teams. Your willful disregard is why we feel compelled to bring outsiders to help us. You have no sympathy for the fear/dread/anxiety we feel for our kids yet we're supposed to have sympathy for you - you who have acknowledged there are insufficient resources for our kids. <smh>

You miss the mark. ALL kids, SN OR NOT, in public school have insufficient resources. I don’t have “willfull disregard.” My experience has only been staff offering FAPE and following the law, while parents think their child is entitled to “more” than FAPE. They bring an advocate and complain to get their way, as if their cold is more important than all the others.

You also miss the mark of the “fear, dread, anxiety” that staff have. You have no empathy for that, avd the fact that STAFF never win. you want “more services” but YOU are the one lacking empathy, respect, appreciation. You are the one demanding sped teachers ignore federal law to suit your preferences.

As parents that is not our problem. Our kids are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The topic should be: Think twice before trusting a school to meet your child's needs.

Totally, a Sped teacher telling parents not to hire an advocate really says it all.

What really says it all to me, as a sped teacher, are parents telling other parents to hire an advocate before they even meet their child's team.

It says:
1) I don't trust the school team to understand my child's needs.
2) I don't trust the school team to give my child what he does need, if they figure it out.
3) I need to hire an outside person, who is financially benefiting from my child's school "trying to fail them". That person will actually DO their job unlike these school people who are out trying to actively hurt kids and deny what they need! (what a joke).

The adversarial relationship that is started before day one does not benefit your child. But by all means, continue hiring advocates, continue fighting over the wording of that goal, continue acting like your child's teachers are enemies and hacks who know nothing.

Just don't be surprised when there is a post a few days later stating " My child can't get their services because there is no teacher to provide them" (literally a post from the top of this board this week).

[phone]
This one million times.
What do families expect? They mistrust and hate the system, attack and hate ALL staff, then want the system to provide for them. then they wonder why staff don’t want to work with them.

So, that's your takeaway from this thread where so many have recounted terrible experiences with their IEP teams. Your willful disregard is why we feel compelled to bring outsiders to help us. You have no sympathy for the fear/dread/anxiety we feel for our kids yet we're supposed to have sympathy for you - you who have acknowledged there are insufficient resources for our kids. <smh>

You miss the mark. ALL kids, SN OR NOT, in public school have insufficient resources. I don’t have “willfull disregard.” My experience has only been staff offering FAPE and following the law, while parents think their child is entitled to “more” than FAPE. They bring an advocate and complain to get their way, as if their cold is more important than all the others.

You also miss the mark of the “fear, dread, anxiety” that staff have. You have no empathy for that, avd the fact that STAFF never win. you want “more services” but YOU are the one lacking empathy, respect, appreciation. You are the one demanding sped teachers ignore federal law to suit your preferences.

You get paid to do this, plus benefits. You do win.

And there it is. "You get paid to take all this abuse I don't see the problem"

If you think you’re being abused by giving a child an extra hour of reading instruction, you need to find a new job.

Seriously. You’re insane.

You are the problem. Stop bullying teachers FFS.

Stop bullying parents to get out of doing your job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s nice to see so clearly what teachers think about families of SN kids. I ve never “ bullied” a teacher or a person in my life but

I’m a parent who is addressing the PP who is being a dick to teachers.

This is the SN board. If a teacher wants to moan about their job, spout absurdities about the law, and otherwise defame parents, they may head over to the Jobs & Careers section.

Teachers can offer a different perspective and provide insights into the IEP process. Just because you disagree with them or think they are wrong about certain things doesn’t mean you need to be a dick.

Model good behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The topic should be: Think twice before trusting a school to meet your child's needs.

Totally, a Sped teacher telling parents not to hire an advocate really says it all.

What really says it all to me, as a sped teacher, are parents telling other parents to hire an advocate before they even meet their child's team.

It says:
1) I don't trust the school team to understand my child's needs.
2) I don't trust the school team to give my child what he does need, if they figure it out.
3) I need to hire an outside person, who is financially benefiting from my child's school "trying to fail them". That person will actually DO their job unlike these school people who are out trying to actively hurt kids and deny what they need! (what a joke).

The adversarial relationship that is started before day one does not benefit your child. But by all means, continue hiring advocates, continue fighting over the wording of that goal, continue acting like your child's teachers are enemies and hacks who know nothing.

Just don't be surprised when there is a post a few days later stating " My child can't get their services because there is no teacher to provide them" (literally a post from the top of this board this week).

[phone]
This one million times.
What do families expect? They mistrust and hate the system, attack and hate ALL staff, then want the system to provide for them. then they wonder why staff don’t want to work with them.

So, that's your takeaway from this thread where so many have recounted terrible experiences with their IEP teams. Your willful disregard is why we feel compelled to bring outsiders to help us. You have no sympathy for the fear/dread/anxiety we feel for our kids yet we're supposed to have sympathy for you - you who have acknowledged there are insufficient resources for our kids. <smh>

You miss the mark. ALL kids, SN OR NOT, in public school have insufficient resources. I don’t have “willfull disregard.” My experience has only been staff offering FAPE and following the law, while parents think their child is entitled to “more” than FAPE. They bring an advocate and complain to get their way, as if their cold is more important than all the others.

You also miss the mark of the “fear, dread, anxiety” that staff have. You have no empathy for that, avd the fact that STAFF never win. you want “more services” but YOU are the one lacking empathy, respect, appreciation. You are the one demanding sped teachers ignore federal law to suit your preferences.

You get paid to do this, plus benefits. You do win.

And there it is. "You get paid to take all this abuse I don't see the problem"

If you think you’re being abused by giving a child an extra hour of reading instruction, you need to find a new job.

Seriously. You’re insane.

You are the problem. Stop bullying teachers FFS.

Stop bullying parents to get out of doing your job.

I’m a parent, dickhead. Stop bullying teachers FFS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The topic should be: Think twice before trusting a school to meet your child's needs.

Totally, a Sped teacher telling parents not to hire an advocate really says it all.

What really says it all to me, as a sped teacher, are parents telling other parents to hire an advocate before they even meet their child's team.

It says:
1) I don't trust the school team to understand my child's needs.
2) I don't trust the school team to give my child what he does need, if they figure it out.
3) I need to hire an outside person, who is financially benefiting from my child's school "trying to fail them". That person will actually DO their job unlike these school people who are out trying to actively hurt kids and deny what they need! (what a joke).

The adversarial relationship that is started before day one does not benefit your child. But by all means, continue hiring advocates, continue fighting over the wording of that goal, continue acting like your child's teachers are enemies and hacks who know nothing.

Just don't be surprised when there is a post a few days later stating " My child can't get their services because there is no teacher to provide them" (literally a post from the top of this board this week).

[phone]
This one million times.
What do families expect? They mistrust and hate the system, attack and hate ALL staff, then want the system to provide for them. then they wonder why staff don’t want to work with them.

So, that's your takeaway from this thread where so many have recounted terrible experiences with their IEP teams. Your willful disregard is why we feel compelled to bring outsiders to help us. You have no sympathy for the fear/dread/anxiety we feel for our kids yet we're supposed to have sympathy for you - you who have acknowledged there are insufficient resources for our kids. <smh>

You miss the mark. ALL kids, SN OR NOT, in public school have insufficient resources. I don’t have “willfull disregard.” My experience has only been staff offering FAPE and following the law, while parents think their child is entitled to “more” than FAPE. They bring an advocate and complain to get their way, as if their cold is more important than all the others.

You also miss the mark of the “fear, dread, anxiety” that staff have. You have no empathy for that, avd the fact that STAFF never win. you want “more services” but YOU are the one lacking empathy, respect, appreciation. You are the one demanding sped teachers ignore federal law to suit your preferences.

You get paid to do this, plus benefits. You do win.

And there it is. "You get paid to take all this abuse I don't see the problem"

If you think you’re being abused by giving a child an extra hour of reading instruction, you need to find a new job.

Seriously. You’re insane.

You are the problem. Stop bullying teachers FFS.

Stop bullying parents to get out of doing your job.

To be on page 25 and think that teachers are trying to avoid their work, boy, i don't know what to say to some of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The topic should be: Think twice before trusting a school to meet your child's needs.

Totally, a Sped teacher telling parents not to hire an advocate really says it all.

What really says it all to me, as a sped teacher, are parents telling other parents to hire an advocate before they even meet their child's team.

It says:
1) I don't trust the school team to understand my child's needs.
2) I don't trust the school team to give my child what he does need, if they figure it out.
3) I need to hire an outside person, who is financially benefiting from my child's school "trying to fail them". That person will actually DO their job unlike these school people who are out trying to actively hurt kids and deny what they need! (what a joke).

The adversarial relationship that is started before day one does not benefit your child. But by all means, continue hiring advocates, continue fighting over the wording of that goal, continue acting like your child's teachers are enemies and hacks who know nothing.

Just don't be surprised when there is a post a few days later stating " My child can't get their services because there is no teacher to provide them" (literally a post from the top of this board this week).

[phone]
This one million times.
What do families expect? They mistrust and hate the system, attack and hate ALL staff, then want the system to provide for them. then they wonder why staff don’t want to work with them.

So, that's your takeaway from this thread where so many have recounted terrible experiences with their IEP teams. Your willful disregard is why we feel compelled to bring outsiders to help us. You have no sympathy for the fear/dread/anxiety we feel for our kids yet we're supposed to have sympathy for you - you who have acknowledged there are insufficient resources for our kids. <smh>

You miss the mark. ALL kids, SN OR NOT, in public school have insufficient resources. I don’t have “willfull disregard.” My experience has only been staff offering FAPE and following the law, while parents think their child is entitled to “more” than FAPE. They bring an advocate and complain to get their way, as if their cold is more important than all the others.

You also miss the mark of the “fear, dread, anxiety” that staff have. You have no empathy for that, avd the fact that STAFF never win. you want “more services” but YOU are the one lacking empathy, respect, appreciation. You are the one demanding sped teachers ignore federal law to suit your preferences.

As parents that is not our problem. Our kids are.

You can’t just go around demanding stuff for your kids. That’s not how the world works.

Acknowledge that schools have limited resources and find the best way to work together with them to support your kid. Steamrolling your way isn’t going to help your kid.

I do think it’s possible to have an advocate help in this process - if they and the parents aren’t aggressive a-holes about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The topic should be: Think twice before trusting a school to meet your child's needs.

Totally, a Sped teacher telling parents not to hire an advocate really says it all.

What really says it all to me, as a sped teacher, are parents telling other parents to hire an advocate before they even meet their child's team.

It says:
1) I don't trust the school team to understand my child's needs.
2) I don't trust the school team to give my child what he does need, if they figure it out.
3) I need to hire an outside person, who is financially benefiting from my child's school "trying to fail them". That person will actually DO their job unlike these school people who are out trying to actively hurt kids and deny what they need! (what a joke).

The adversarial relationship that is started before day one does not benefit your child. But by all means, continue hiring advocates, continue fighting over the wording of that goal, continue acting like your child's teachers are enemies and hacks who know nothing.

Just don't be surprised when there is a post a few days later stating " My child can't get their services because there is no teacher to provide them" (literally a post from the top of this board this week).

[phone]
This one million times.
What do families expect? They mistrust and hate the system, attack and hate ALL staff, then want the system to provide for them. then they wonder why staff don’t want to work with them.

Advocates cost money. NOBODY hires an advocate unless they already have reason to know they need it based on negative interactions with the school.

We didn’t have a negative interaction with our kid’s school. We hired an advocate because we were clueless about what our kid needed. The advocate made suggestions in a respectful way and focused more about the disability/gaps than the specific accommodations. It was a discussion, not a list of demands.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s nice to see so clearly what teachers think about families of SN kids. I ve never “ bullied” a teacher or a person in my life but

I’m a parent who is addressing the PP who is being a dick to teachers.

This is the SN board. If a teacher wants to moan about their job, spout absurdities about the law, and otherwise defame parents, they may head over to the Jobs & Careers section.

Teachers can offer a different perspective and provide insights into the IEP process. Just because you disagree with them or think they are wrong about certain things doesn’t mean you need to be a dick.

Model good behavior.

Is that what you think OP did? Lol. Well OP did achieve something- reinforcing that parents should hire advocates. Not sure if thay was what OP was intending.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The topic should be: Think twice before trusting a school to meet your child's needs.

Totally, a Sped teacher telling parents not to hire an advocate really says it all.

What really says it all to me, as a sped teacher, are parents telling other parents to hire an advocate before they even meet their child's team.

It says:
1) I don't trust the school team to understand my child's needs.
2) I don't trust the school team to give my child what he does need, if they figure it out.
3) I need to hire an outside person, who is financially benefiting from my child's school "trying to fail them". That person will actually DO their job unlike these school people who are out trying to actively hurt kids and deny what they need! (what a joke).

The adversarial relationship that is started before day one does not benefit your child. But by all means, continue hiring advocates, continue fighting over the wording of that goal, continue acting like your child's teachers are enemies and hacks who know nothing.

Just don't be surprised when there is a post a few days later stating " My child can't get their services because there is no teacher to provide them" (literally a post from the top of this board this week).

[phone]
This one million times.
What do families expect? They mistrust and hate the system, attack and hate ALL staff, then want the system to provide for them. then they wonder why staff don’t want to work with them.

So, that's your takeaway from this thread where so many have recounted terrible experiences with their IEP teams. Your willful disregard is why we feel compelled to bring outsiders to help us. You have no sympathy for the fear/dread/anxiety we feel for our kids yet we're supposed to have sympathy for you - you who have acknowledged there are insufficient resources for our kids. <smh>

You miss the mark. ALL kids, SN OR NOT, in public school have insufficient resources. I don’t have “willfull disregard.” My experience has only been staff offering FAPE and following the law, while parents think their child is entitled to “more” than FAPE. They bring an advocate and complain to get their way, as if their cold is more important than all the others.

You also miss the mark of the “fear, dread, anxiety” that staff have. You have no empathy for that, avd the fact that STAFF never win. you want “more services” but YOU are the one lacking empathy, respect, appreciation. You are the one demanding sped teachers ignore federal law to suit your preferences.

You get paid to do this, plus benefits. You do win.

And there it is. "You get paid to take all this abuse I don't see the problem"

If you think you’re being abused by giving a child an extra hour of reading instruction, you need to find a new job.

Seriously. You’re insane.

You are the problem. Stop bullying teachers FFS.

Stop bullying parents to get out of doing your job.

I’m a parent, dickhead. Stop bullying teachers FFS.

who bullied teachers here? a teacher came onto the SN board specifically to bully parents. that is what happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The topic should be: Think twice before trusting a school to meet your child's needs.

Totally, a Sped teacher telling parents not to hire an advocate really says it all.

What really says it all to me, as a sped teacher, are parents telling other parents to hire an advocate before they even meet their child's team.

It says:
1) I don't trust the school team to understand my child's needs.
2) I don't trust the school team to give my child what he does need, if they figure it out.
3) I need to hire an outside person, who is financially benefiting from my child's school "trying to fail them". That person will actually DO their job unlike these school people who are out trying to actively hurt kids and deny what they need! (what a joke).

The adversarial relationship that is started before day one does not benefit your child. But by all means, continue hiring advocates, continue fighting over the wording of that goal, continue acting like your child's teachers are enemies and hacks who know nothing.

Just don't be surprised when there is a post a few days later stating " My child can't get their services because there is no teacher to provide them" (literally a post from the top of this board this week).

[phone]
This one million times.
What do families expect? They mistrust and hate the system, attack and hate ALL staff, then want the system to provide for them. then they wonder why staff don’t want to work with them.

So, that's your takeaway from this thread where so many have recounted terrible experiences with their IEP teams. Your willful disregard is why we feel compelled to bring outsiders to help us. You have no sympathy for the fear/dread/anxiety we feel for our kids yet we're supposed to have sympathy for you - you who have acknowledged there are insufficient resources for our kids. <smh>

You miss the mark. ALL kids, SN OR NOT, in public school have insufficient resources. I don’t have “willfull disregard.” My experience has only been staff offering FAPE and following the law, while parents think their child is entitled to “more” than FAPE. They bring an advocate and complain to get their way, as if their cold is more important than all the others.

You also miss the mark of the “fear, dread, anxiety” that staff have. You have no empathy for that, avd the fact that STAFF never win. you want “more services” but YOU are the one lacking empathy, respect, appreciation. You are the one demanding sped teachers ignore federal law to suit your preferences.

As parents that is not our problem. Our kids are.

You can’t just go around demanding stuff for your kids. That’s not how the world works.

Acknowledge that schools have limited resources and find the best way to work together with them to support your kid. Steamrolling your way isn’t going to help your kid.

I do think it’s possible to have an advocate help in this process - if they and the parents aren’t aggressive a-holes about it.

This is insane to me. So schools have limited resources, ok but as parents of kids that need specialized instruction in order to learn, we should just be thankful for schools to be giving 1/10th of what a kid needs to learn? Then what is the point of school?? Imagine if this was said to neurotypical learners, yes you are in school for 35 hours a week , but we will give you instruction that works for you for 1 hour that week and be happy about that and dont ask for more.
BTW, I dont think its the teachers fault, more than likely its a messed up central office and poor curriculum materials. Although, over inflated " progress" reports dont help and neither do other gen ed teachers that dont believe in accomodations. Its so incredibly frustrating all the way around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The topic should be: Think twice before trusting a school to meet your child's needs.

Totally, a Sped teacher telling parents not to hire an advocate really says it all.

What really says it all to me, as a sped teacher, are parents telling other parents to hire an advocate before they even meet their child's team.

It says:
1) I don't trust the school team to understand my child's needs.
2) I don't trust the school team to give my child what he does need, if they figure it out.
3) I need to hire an outside person, who is financially benefiting from my child's school "trying to fail them". That person will actually DO their job unlike these school people who are out trying to actively hurt kids and deny what they need! (what a joke).

The adversarial relationship that is started before day one does not benefit your child. But by all means, continue hiring advocates, continue fighting over the wording of that goal, continue acting like your child's teachers are enemies and hacks who know nothing.

Just don't be surprised when there is a post a few days later stating " My child can't get their services because there is no teacher to provide them" (literally a post from the top of this board this week).

[phone]
This one million times.
What do families expect? They mistrust and hate the system, attack and hate ALL staff, then want the system to provide for them. then they wonder why staff don’t want to work with them.

Advocates cost money. NOBODY hires an advocate unless they already have reason to know they need it based on negative interactions with the school.

We didn’t have a negative interaction with our kid’s school. We hired an advocate because we were clueless about what our kid needed. The advocate made suggestions in a respectful way and focused more about the disability/gaps than the specific accommodations. It was a discussion, not a list of demands.

OK that’s fair. But in my mind, that scenario indicates that you (correctly) did not have faith that the school could adequately meet your childs needs otherwise, likely for good reasons. You didn’t spend that money just because you are a jerk trying to extract every benefit for your kid.