Do you use daycare when not working?

[Anonymous]

Our daycare provider is regularly open on federal holidays (and other days that I have off), however I feel guilty using her when I'm not working. Example: Veteran's Day/Columbus Day she was open, but I kept my son home with me (because, again, I feel bad using her when I'm not working). I feel like a "bad mom" if I'm not with my son when I don't have a valid reason not to be with him. My husband and I do have occasional date nights (1x month) for about 2 hours or so. I feel that I give myself permission to not feel guilty about those because our marriage needs them, and a good marriage is good for our son. Anyway, I feel like it's better for him to be with me, better for our breastfeeding relationship, better for his development, our bonding, whatever else. He is 4.5 mos old and I'm still adjusting to returning to work and my guilt over "leaving him" and all these hours that I am missing of his precious tiny life. So i imagine that's part of the bigger picture.

So I'm off on Friday, and the provider is open. Part of me would like a break. Just some time at home. Maybe to clean, but more likely to watching Law & Order reruns and be somewhat brain dead and motionless (i've been battling a cold for the last week, ugh). However, I don't feel like that's a good enough reason to take him to daycare so I likely won't.

What do other mom's do? Any thoughts on this?

[Anonymous]

My DD is not in daycare anymore (she is in K) but I used to use it occasionally for times like this too. Everybody needs a little "me" time and DD liked seeing her friends, too.

[Anonymous]

You deserve a break. Don't feel guilty.

[Anonymous]

Take the day for yourself. I usually compromise and pick the kids up early on days like that, but I would totally send them in. In fact, I'm doing that on Monday (taking the day off to catch up on cleaning after the holidays, unwind, etc with the kids at daycare)

[Anonymous]

Do a mixture. Take a few hours for yourself and some time for extra time with your baby.

[Anonymous]

Those are my favorite days! Days when the kids have coverage and I don't have to work. It's a 4 day weekend. It's a long time. Enjoy your Friday

[Anonymous]

YES I pay for the daycare so I use it. Sometimes even when we're both home. I don't feel guilty at all. I love his daycare and it gives us time to do house projects and clean and do errands....so that when my son is home, we're both there enjoying the time with him. Usually on those days we'll pick him up early, around 3:30 or 4:00 depending on the nap schedule.

[Anonymous]

At that age, no way, as I'd rather nurse than pump a billion times over. Plus, both my kids were still pretty portable at that age. But if it is what you want to do, do it and don't feel guilty for a second. A happy, refreshed mom is also very good for your son (like the happy marriage you referenced)!

[Anonymous]

Do it! You can always compromise and make it a shorter day -- you get some time to relax, but you also get more time with baby than normal.

[Anonymous]

My daughter is in daycare today even though I'm not working. I'm taking a little DCUM break right now, but most of today will involve frantic cooking, cleaning, and some work tasks. If my daughter was here, I'd just be fussing at her to stay out of my way while I cook or begging her to watch Elmo. She's much happier at daycare.

[Anonymous]

There isn't a right or wrong thing to do in this situation!

[Anonymous]

My oldest is 10 now but we took advantage of some days like this when he was an infant. In particular, I remember one glorious day when he was about your son's age -- the daycare was open but DH and I both had the day off. We spent the day going to the movies, having an early happy hour / lunch, taking a "nap," and enjoying each other for the first time in what seemed like ages. We picked DS up at the regular time -- he was no worse for wear. Having that day at that time as a FTM was simply awesome.

Do whatever you want or need to do for yourself OP. You have very few chances now that you're a mom.

[Anonymous]

When I have the day off, sometimes I do drop my daughter off for a couple hours then pick her up early. It lets me clean up around the house, do some errands, catch a nap, etc.

DH on the other hand? Every single time. He gets every other Friday off and DD is in daycare every Friday.

[Anonymous]

Now that my DD has transitioned to K and "real school," I kind of miss having the flexibility to do these types of things, actually! Now I am like, 'Yikes, school ends at 3:15 and I absolutely HAVE to be there at that time! Yikes!" Less flexibility for me.

[Anonymous]

I do. DD loves daycare and they have a full day of activities and stimulation there that she probably wouldn't get at home with me.

I take her in a little later and pick her up a little earlier, but I like to keep her routine and it gives me a chance to get stuff done around the house or run errands so we have more family time on the weekends.