My Sister thinks she can date single men in their thirties with no children..

[Anonymous]

My sister has a 12 yr old and is 41. She does not want any more children. I suggested she try to meet people who are her age or people who already had kids and do not have the desire for more. She has not dated in over 10 years and is speaking to men who she would have dated ten years ago as if no time has stopped. She asks for my advice all the time otherwise I wouldn't interfere. When I tell her that most men who are single in their thirties will probably want children one day she goes ballistic and thinks I'm delusional. This feels accurate do you agree? I feel she is setting herself up to be hurt and maybe they would date her short-term but then find someone who wanted to have more children-?

[Anonymous]

Eh. If she's willing to sleep with them, she will find some guys in that group. Maybe not a majority of that group, but some.

[Anonymous]

If she's hot, men in their 30s will fuck her.

This sounds like a rhetorical exercise, though. Is she getting laid or not?

[Anonymous]

No she is just talking to them at this point-not even meeting them yet. She is younger in her head than in her actual age if that makes sense. She is like a teenager to me but is now older and doesn't realize it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No she is just talking to them at this point-not even meeting them yet. She is younger in her head than in her actual age if that makes sense. She is like a teenager to me but is now older and doesn't realize it.

But is she hot?

[Anonymous]

Wow. 41 is way to old for a 30-something guy.

[Anonymous]

As someoen who was a guy single in this 30's, I think you are correct. Those guys either want children or don't want children and, therefore, don't want a relationship with someone who has children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No she is just talking to them at this point-not even meeting them yet. She is younger in her head than in her actual age if that makes sense. She is like a teenager to me but is now older and doesn't realize it.

But is she hot?

She is attractive but not real
Competition to someone in mid thirties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As someoen who was a guy single in this 30's, I think you are correct. Those guys either want children or don't want children and, therefore, don't want a relationship with someone who has children.

Thanks. She makes it sound like she is
so baffled about why I think men in this category
will probably want kids ( or at least the possibility
of kids) which is the part she refuses to accept.

[Anonymous]

Why do you care so much? She'll find out soon enough if there is a guy out there or not. BTW my very average looking SIL with a 13 year old is marrying her 35 year old fiance in the fall. He does not have kids and does not want anymore. They both make about the same so I don't think it is a "sugar mama" scenario. It works for some people.

[Anonymous]

Why are you having repeated conversations with someone who "goes ballistic" when you give her advice she doesn't want to hear? Seems like you need to decline her requests for advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you care so much? She'll find out soon enough if there is a guy out there or not. BTW my very average looking SIL with a 13 year old is marrying her 35 year old fiance in the fall. He does not have kids and does not want anymore. They both make about the same so I don't think it is a "sugar mama" scenario. It works for some people.

I know. You are right but I am such a realist and it
makes me crazy that she stays living in a fantasy land.
She won't date average looking guys or shorter guys etc yet she
is not so perfect so ends up alone. I feel badly but
it's true she has to face the music herself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you having repeated conversations with someone who "goes ballistic" when you give her advice she doesn't want to hear? Seems like you need to decline her requests for advice.

maybe because its her sister.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you having repeated conversations with someone who "goes ballistic" when you give her advice she doesn't want to hear? Seems like you need to decline her requests for advice.

I think this is the answer. She asks me advice about
this or work and when I give calm reasonable
answers that is not what she wanted
to hear she gets upset. It's a lose lose.
She is a classic adult child in almost ever
Way.

[Anonymous]

So then let her find out on her own that her expectations are too high. If you continuously tell her what you say on here, I can see how she'd get annoyed. Some people just want to hear "I'm sure you'll find someone out there sometime. Sometimes you find it where you'd lease expect it" or some generic crap like that. If you know it bothers her, either don't talk to her about it or just spew of generic crap. Sometimes it is best to take the high road vs how you are acting on here.