Abusive husband talked of buying a gun.

[Anonymous]

I've left the relationship. Just had a flashback of him saying he was going to buy a gun to protect me early in the relationship. I am really thanking God that it never happened because I'm convinced he would have used it on me. I can't share this detail with anyone else, so I'm telling you all.

[Anonymous]

Stay safe OP.

[Anonymous]

I'm glad you're out, OP. So many women come to this board asking for help, but end up defending their abusive partner. I realize this is just a function of being in an abusive relationship, but I'm glad you made it out okay!

[Anonymous]

Anytime a woman leaves an abusive man is always a good thing in my book OP.

Congratulations on leaving that rat. I know from personal experience leaving an abuser is not the easiest thing to do, but it has to be done. For your own safety and welfare.

Thank God he never ever got the gun because who really knows what he planned on doing w/it, like you said.

I am just glad you are safe and away from that thug.

Enjoy your freedom and your new life.

[Anonymous]

I'm glad to hear that you are out of the relationship. Your title scared me!

[Anonymous]

Why are so many men abusive? I mean.... Really?

[Anonymous]

Read "The Gift of Fear" OP. good for you for getting out. Stay safe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are so many men abusive? I mean.... Really?

There are abusive women too.

Men with the wrong kind of mental health issues seem more likely to be abusive, while women with the same issues tend to be more self-destructive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are so many men abusive? I mean.... Really?

OP here, I wish I knew. Before I met my ex I never realized that there were people, men, that really don't care about the women they are with. I believed the lies for a long time that he loved me. When I left, I saw his innermost thoughts, secrets, etc and he is a vile human being. Searching out women, trashing my reputation for years with a network of enablers, and the saddest revealation being that he doesn't love even his own flesh and blood or his best friends who took him in. He mistreats everyone.

Another memory that stands out is at his college reunion a male acquaintance took me aside and told me that my husband was a very troubled person. That he wished me well. Little did he know, at that point I was months away from the first time he would hurt me physically.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are so many men abusive? I mean.... Really?

OP here, I wish I knew. Before I met my ex I never realized that there were people, men, that really don't care about the women they are with. I believed the lies for a long time that he loved me. When I left, I saw his innermost thoughts, secrets, etc and he is a vile human being. Searching out women, trashing my reputation for years with a network of enablers, and the saddest revealation being that he doesn't love even his own flesh and blood or his best friends who took him in. He mistreats everyone.

Another memory that stands out is at his college reunion a male acquaintance took me aside and told me that my husband was a very troubled person. That he wished me well. Little did he know, at that point I was months away from the first time he would hurt me physically.

PP here, I'm glad for you that you got out. I've been married 3 times. My first 2 husbands physically abused me. Bad. My current husband, who is about to be an ex, has never physically harmed me, but he turned extremely verbally abusive. At first, I tried to stay and make it work, thinking, hey, at least he's never beat me. But, I've reached the point where I can't take the cursing, insults, controlling behavior, etc. any more.

Right now, I feel like I've pretty much given up on men. It just seems like they are all like this, so why bother? Right now, I'm thinking I'm just going to focus on raising my son, and I have no interest in EVER getting into another relationship. I'd rather just die lonely rather than end up with another abuser.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are so many men abusive? I mean.... Really?

There are abusive women too.

Men with the wrong kind of mental health issues seem more likely to be abusive, while women with the same issues tend to be more self-destructive.

Abusive men tend to lash out violently.

Abusive women just wear the people around them down.