Panic/Anxiety Attacks

[Anonymous]

My husband is having major anxiety and panic attacks.. It's gotten so bad lately he has woken me up t 3:00 a.m to walk around the block with him and leave our 5 & 8 year old sleeping. He can barley function and is just making enough $$ for us to pay our bills. He won't go on medications and says therapy won't help.. I am not sure what to do.. He is miserable to be with and i can't count on him for much.
Anyone know any good Dr's or have any good advice?
Thanks

[Anonymous]

BTDT. He absolutely needs medication and perhaps talk therapy.

[Anonymous]

So so sorry to hear, OP.

YES medications absolutely WILL help for the panic attacks. DEFinitely.

I dont know why he asserts otherwise, but I am guessing he feels the problem is within himself or this thought process? And maybe does not understand panic attacks are fight or flight response and can happen to anyone, especially under long terms stress.

Talk therapy DEFinitely also.

Please let him know there is no need for him to feel shame about panic attacks. they are very common.

I feel for you OP. I have a 7 year old daughter and I think my DH is very mentally ill and I have been holding us together so long I think I am going to break. Hang in there. Stupid saying, but its true. Its what is needed...along with the above.

[Anonymous]

Have him read this: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/panic-attacks/DS00338

[Anonymous]

Panic attacks are so awful! I don't understand why he'd shy away from treatment.

[Anonymous]

Make an appointment here:

http://m.hopkinsmedicine.org/psychiatry/specialty_areas/anxiety/

Your DH sounds barely functional and it'll only get worse without treatment. He needs to be on meds and once he gets better he can try talk therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy with meds.

Good luck. My DH suffers from generalized anxiety disorder and panic attacks and it can be totally debilitating. Please get him to seek medical help. Life does not have to be the absolute misery it is with a severe anxiety disorder.

[Anonymous]

OP do you have a job?

[Anonymous]

My husband went through a period like this. I called psychiatrists for him to get him an appointment. Maybe read reviews and find a doctor that he would be comfortable seeing. I found a older male doctor with a home practice. No frills. Very straightforward and academic. Meds transformed him.

[Anonymous]

DH sees Dr Neill Williams off of DuPont Circle. 202-293-0204. MUCH much better on meds.

I do not recommend the Ross Center if you are a man.

[Anonymous]

OP, I strongly suggest you not leave the children alone in the house at such a late hour, even if they are sleeping. When if there is a fire, or an intruder, etc.?? I know, I know..Slim chance, but still a chance. I know your husband needs you to walk w/him, but you have a maternal responsibility toward your children first + foremost which must take precedence over your husband. Sorry.

Anyway, it sounds like your husband is suffering from severe anxiety issues. This is a serious form of mental illness and needs to be treated accordingly.
He needs to see an M.D., take medication and seek therapy. No if, ands, or buts.

Living w/him will continue to be hell OP as long as he remains untreated. It won't get better on it's own and it's not going to go away.

It's a huge misconception that people who suffer w/mental issues can simply "snap" out of it. They cannot. They have a true and legitimate disease that needs medical attention.

Try as hard as you can to encourage your husband to get help.

Stress to him that this is no way for your family to live.

Keeping my finger's crossed for everyone.

Hope things work out.

[Anonymous]

I went through a period of about a year where I was having panic attacks. I actually went to the emergency room once because I was positive I was having a heart attack. The most difficult part of this time was having to take care of my kids. While I was alone with them I was terribly afraid of dying and leaving them uncared for which made the panic attacks even worse ( they were 5 and 3 at the time). I avoid doctors like the plague and think psychiatry, for the most part, is a load of crap but in this case I forced myself to seek medical advice. I got a prescription for Xanax which actually worked! I only took it twice, but just having the pills in my pocket (I carried them everywhere) was like having a security blanket. I knew that if things got bad I could just pop a pill and things would be good in 30 minutes. I also got a full cardio work up. This reassured me that my heart wasn't the problem. I also started seeing a therapist. Mostly I found the sessions and the "homework" to be ridiculous. Cognitive Therapy was what the therapist called it. The worksheets and books she had me read were, frankly, insulting. I wasn't having panic attacks due to some irrational fear. I was having panic attacks because, out of the blue, my chest would start hurting, I would feel faint, nauseous, be sweating and basically be having every classic heart attack symptom. It takes a lot of will power to convince yourself that all those symptoms are in your head.

The one thing that helped me the most though was just good old fashioned exercise. It was incredibly difficult at first because I was actually afraid that exercise might trigger a heart attack. So I started out running laps around the local hospital ( I know, it was nuts ). Once I became convinced that running wasn't going to kill me I started running further and further. Eventually I got myself into good enough shape that I was able to run a marathon. Looking back, I think this worked for me because exercise desensitized me to some of the panic symptoms I was experiencing. Just being spent, physically, also just tends to relax you.

Sorry for the long post. Not sure if any of this helps. One thing I would suggest to the OP is to be sympathetic towards your husband. He's basically going through hell right now, and because he's a typical guy, he doesn't know how to ask for help. He may need to reach his breaking point before he goes to a doctor. I know I had to. And let him know that there are many many people out there who have survived what he's going through and are perfectly fine now.

[Anonymous]

This sounds like a post my husband would write about me. Are you my DH? Except...

#1 - he would post something like this but not say a damn word to my face. And if he DID say something to me, it would be in sarcasm or belittling. Never a "what can I do to help you".

#2 - if I tried to talk to him about how I'm feeling, I would have to make sure it's not:
- interfering with football
- interfering with him watching his porn girls online
- interfering with his addiction to not only his porn watching, his precious shows on DVR

If you REALLY want to help - be there for him, listen to him, and find out what HE needs to get better. Throwing commitments, suggestions of medications, and constant reminders of his failures are only going to isolate himself inside himself even further.

And then remember - "for better or worse".

[Anonymous]

OP, you have some good advice here. I just wanted to add, if your DH is reluctant to get help, tell him in many states it's illegal to leave kids that age at home alone and you really can't do that again so he must seek help for the sake of the family, not just himself.

Good luck