Should I be pissed off?

[Anonymous]

About a month ago, My ex boyfriend and I cut off all communication and friendship. We had been broken up for a year and really tried to remain friends. One night he was out with a so called mutual friend and I found out that he had showed her my personal text messages to her. The subject was about her and they weren't very nice. She then deleted me off facebook and said some really mean things in return to me. I get it, I deserved to be deleted etc, but I had no idea he was showing her my texts. We then ended our friendship. He said he changed his number so I wouldn't contact him. We have a few mutual friends in common and the other night I was out with them all night and into the next morning (I live three hours away from them and so I was staying the night at one of our mutual friends house). I guess during the time that I was in town, his vehicle was vandalized. And he's accusing me of it. I have at least four other people who were with me from the time I arrived into town until the time I left who can vouch for me that I was never even near his house or his car.
What should I do? Im mainly hurt that he is accusing me of something I completely did not do but Im also really, really pissed off about it. Can I take legal action for his accusations? He has told many people about it who have all asked me about it.

[Anonymous]

Of course you should be angry but what kind of legal action would you possibly take?

[Anonymous]

1 do any of the people has had told, believe him?
2. How have you suffered monetarily or professionally due to his spreading these rumors?
3 is he saying "Kate did it" or that he thinks you did it?

[Anonymous]

1) Two people who are mostly his friends told me that he said I did it.
2) I haven't suffered anything monetarily or professionally, no.

I guess I don't know what legal action I can take but he is basically saying something that could get me into trouble with the law, right? I understand it is his word against mine, but I do have 4 people who are willing to all say that they were with me the entire time and no way did we even go close to his vehicle.

[Anonymous]

The only way something happens regarding "the law" is IF he does go to the police AND they question you AND they don't believe you OR your friends. There's a slim to none chance that happens.

Yes, be pissed. But that's it.

[Anonymous]

Be pissed and at least you can now totally move on!

[Anonymous]

I would have punched him in the face for showing that girl your private text messages! He sounds like an immature child!
Be happy that you saw him for who he really was and that you don't have him in your life. As far as the car keying goes unless he has you on video he really doesn't have much to go on

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course you should be angry but what kind of legal action would you possibly take?

Theoretically, defamation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course you should be angry but what kind of legal action would you possibly take?

Theoretically, defamation

He's allowed to have an opinion about who did this, OP. Unless he's taking action in some way that damages you -- telling people that you are a vandal by profession, calling your employer, calling WJLA, calling the police, what would your damages be? Follow the money, OP.

[Anonymous]

The OP sounds like a drama queen who needs strife in her life, one way or another. I have the feeling you all deserve each other.

In answer to your question, yes, you have the right to be pissed off for a short time but then choose to put that energy into elevating your station in life, starting with better-quality acquaintances.

Finally, to everyone, never text, email, put anything anywhere on the internet you wouldn't want on the front page of the Washington Post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would have punched him in the face for showing that girl your private text messages! He sounds like an immature child!
Be happy that you saw him for who he really was and that you don't have him in your life. As far as the car keying goes unless he has you on video he really doesn't have much to go on

She said 'vandalized' not keying. Uh oh, are you the culprit!?

[Anonymous]

He treated you badly, so now you need to be the "bad one," OP. Simple as that. Of course you have every right to be upset. Sorry he's being such a jerk.

[Anonymous]

I have an ex who accused me of this, went to the police, etc. I make it clear that it was completely ridiculous, even told the cops that it wasn't me, I can prove it wasn't me and I have much better things to do with my time than go around vandalizing shit like some child.

Make it a nonissue and it will be a nonissue.

[Anonymous]

It doesn't matter whether you should be pissed off now. There's no lawsuit here.

What you should do is just ignore these people from here on it. They should not be a part of your life. The "ex as a friend" thing is always tenuous under ordinary circumstances, but you've now seen the downside of what can happen.

Why are you still clinging to this guy? Let him go. Don't make any grand pronouncements or scenes or anything. Just stop talking to him/her. They've done you a favor by cutting you off from Facebook -- it'll help you do what you should have done in the first place.

Move on.

[Anonymous]

Finally, to everyone, never text, email, put anything anywhere on the internet you wouldn't want on the front page of the Washington Post.

I've been telling my kids this since they were old enough to write notes, well before email, text, Facebook existed. Never ever ever write anything you wouldn't be ok with the world knowing. Best advice my mother ever gave me.

Also, I agree with the PP - You sound like a drama queen who creates crisis in your life because you are bored. I have a close friend who does exactly the same.