Is this friendship dead in the water?

[Anonymous]

So, I recently started a new job. Previously I worked at home and had basically no coworkers, just a boss who I report to remotely. Now I am in an office with a few coworkers, including one who is my direct supervisor and who shares an office with me. She has been incredibly welcoming and really excited to have someone else on this project, amd she has been managing alone even though it has grown beyond what one person could reasonably do. Basically hiring me means she has her life back. She has been really kind and is a great mentor for me professionally. I have learned a lot from her. She has also gone out of her way to be friendly, not just coworker friendly. And she has asked about personal life, etc. We are fairly different (I am late 20's, single, no kids, she is 40's, married, 2 kids), but share a sense of humor and I was happy to be friends outside of work too. This weekend I attended a barbeque at a house she and her family rented for the weekend to celebrate her kid's birthday. I met her husband for the first time and immediately felt a really strong attraction to him. I spent the evening chatting with my friend, playing freaking scrabble and the whole time all I could think of was how hot her husband is and what it would be like to have sex with him. I have NEVER had this kind of response to any guy, ever, let alone a married man! I would be happy to just hang with my friend and never see her husband, so that I don't have to worry that I will accidently say/do something to embarass myself, but she is already talking about other get-togethers with her family. How do I distance myself without hurting her? She has been so kind and i just don't know how to putthe kibosh on this friendship without her feeling rejected.

[Anonymous]

Just decline the things she asks you to do with her family, but suggest other specific things you would like to do together instead. I am guessing that she is going to assume that as a young single person, you are more interested in doing single person type things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just decline the things she asks you to do with her family, but suggest other specific things you would like to do together instead. I am guessing that she is going to assume that as a young single person, you are more interested in doing single person type things.

This

[Anonymous]

OP, no offense, but your story sounds weird. Why would your boss want to be your closest friend? Why would you want to be close friends with your supervisor?

[Anonymous]

Troll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just decline the things she asks you to do with her family, but suggest other specific things you would like to do together instead. I am guessing that she is going to assume that as a young single person, you are more interested in doing single person type things.

This

+2

Just say you're going out drinking or have a date or something when she invites you to family things.

[Anonymous]

CL, I actually like you, but this is getting ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Faux.

[Anonymous]

Wear low cut rave clothes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wear low cut rave clothes

I would pick the sexy Fox
http://www.yandy.com/Rave-Clothing.php?P=all

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, no offense, but your story sounds weird. Why would your boss want to be your closest friend? Why would you want to be close friends with your supervisor?

I didn't say she wanted to be my "closest friend," but as many people often post here, it's hard to make friend in this area, and coming from WAH, I was really excited to have coworkers to socialize with. Being single and working alone has been lonely, and she has also felt lonely since before me she had the office to herself and twice the workload.

[Anonymous]

Yah, great story OP, let us know what Playboy says

[Anonymous]

OMG!! For Realz??! Okay OP, I usually reserve judgment on these forums, but c'mon...This is just sickening. Enough said.

Why on earth would you be attracted to someone else's husband and be wondering about how it would be to have sex w/him????????? Aren't there enough fish in the sea??

Yes, you do need to put the brakes on this friendship.

You obviously do not know the first thing about being a true friend to anyone.

While it would be acceptable and understandable to think her hubby was attractive, it is totally disrespectful to be tempted to sleep w/him upon meeting him.

What is wrong w/you?

I am hoping this is not for realz.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG!! For Realz??! Okay OP, I usually reserve judgment on these forums, but c'mon...This is just sickening. Enough said.

Why on earth would you be attracted to someone else's husband and be wondering about how it would be to have sex w/him????????? Aren't there enough fish in the sea??

Yes, you do need to put the brakes on this friendship.

You obviously do not know the first thing about being a true friend to anyone.

While it would be acceptable and understandable to think her hubby was attractive, it is totally disrespectful to be tempted to sleep w/him upon meeting him.

What is wrong w/you?

I am hoping this is not for realz.

Why are you jumping down OP's throat? This whole post is about OP wanting to do the right thing!

[Anonymous]

To the OP -

From your post, you seem young and naive. In the professional world, you should draw a line between business relationships and personal friendships. If you don't, the personal friendship thing at work will come back and bite you in the ass.

Only do work things with your boss, preferably during work hours. When you are together, talk about work topics. If she begins talking about her family, say "That's nice" but switch the conversation back to something relevant to work. If she invites you to something over the weekend, decline and say you have plans.

You should definitely avoid anything in which her husband is there because if she gets wind of that spark, you are looking at getting fired without a reference under some type of false pretense. Hell has no fury as a woman scored.