DC wants to go to church and I have issues

[Anonymous]

Hi all,

My five year old wants to start going to church. I am a bitter recovering catholic although I have worked hard to avoid giving my child negative views of religion. Instead we talk about "some people think this... some people think that.... what do you think?"

I am considering taking her to the UU Church in Oakton. Anyone a participant there?

I am wondering if they refer to God as "He" and how much, if at all, the services focus on Jesus or a Christian religious view? I see on their website that they have children's groups, anyone's child participating in those?

I'd like to allow her to explore spirituality without dogma.

Please let me know any thoughts, thank you.

[Anonymous]

I think a UU church would fit the bill for you. I haven't been to the one in Oakton in a decade and every UU church is different but it might be a good place to start. If I had to guess, they have a broad interpretation of God, the role of Jesus, some members who will refer to themselves as Christians and others who would not etc.

I was raised in an inter-faith household, Catholic and UU. All the kids ended up UU. Growing up it was nice to have the UU church community/kids/youth group in support of our very liberal religious beliefs. I think you'll find a good number of former Catholics and often times the kids' "Sunday school teachers" are the adults who aren't necessarily interested in attending the actual church services.

[Anonymous]

I was just looking at the Arlington UU's web site thinking it might be right up my alley in the sense that I am also a former Catholic but interested in teaching my son about religions of the world and helping him find a religious path if that is what he wants. I took a look at this picture:

http://www.uucava.org/Dance/UUDancers.htm

and immediately knew there was no way in hell my husband, an atheist, would go there. I don't know why I'm posting. Just thought it was kind of funny. I like the idea of exploring different religions, but whey does "alternative" religion always come with things like older women doing dance routines in flowing gowns?

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

We went to Arlington UU before we moved from NoVa and loved it. We have actually been thinking about travelling from MD to NoVa for this church - we haven't found anything quite like it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We went to Arlington UU before we moved from NoVa and loved it. We have actually been thinking about travelling from MD to NoVa for this church - we haven't found anything quite like it.

Really? Tell me more. What makes it so compelling?

[Anonymous]

We really liked the vibe, the people, the family based activities, the number of kids. Granted we haven't been to all of the UU churches in MD - but the 3 we have been to are much smaller, have fewer kids, and not as many activities.

[Anonymous]

Is that true of the one on River Road? I've been considering it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We really liked the vibe, the people, the family based activities, the number of kids. Granted we haven't been to all of the UU churches in MD - but the 3 we have been to are much smaller, have fewer kids, and not as many activities.

What about the dancing? Did you have to sit through that? I apologize if this offends you or anyone else, but I just couldn't take that. I'm too cynical.

[Anonymous]

LOL about the dancing. Believe it or not, in the late 1970s my fifth grade catholic school teacher, who was a nun, put us girls in long flowing gowns and made us dance on the altar during offertory.

Looking back I am surprised they allowed this...

[Anonymous]

I am a lifelong UU and I am totally uncomfortable with the UU dancers. It just isn't for me. But in the UU church - that's okay too. I've been to the Arlington Church before and I've never seen the dancers at a service. UU's are famous for picking and choosing the services they attend and the church they attend. They are all different. The children's education programs are usually quite good at presenting religions of the world and "moral issues" such as being a good person, caring, sharing etc (usually without reference to sin, damnation, punishment) As a little kid, I found it helpful to have a community to turn to, when in the Bible Belt, I was told my whole family would be going to hell, etc and we're bad people etc. That can be scary and frustrating for a kid.

[zumbamama]

what are the UU dancers?

[Anonymous]

Hey, zumbamama, read the third post.

[zumbamama]

oh i have been to that church once. I did like it alot, but I don't remember the dancers though....maybe I should go give them some new moves. haha

[Anonymous]

OP, as a child I wanted to go to church and my parents refused, due to their own issues. For my sake, I wish they'd been able to get past those issues. I really felt the lack of a community and a faith tradition. So I would encourage you to try to find a community for your child.

My husband was raised in a restrictive Christian household and he too has issues. He managed to move past them, to a certain extent, and we are members of a UU church in California. (Not all of them have dancers, BTW. But there's plenty of pagan/solstice/Mother Earth love etc. in most of them.) My problem with the UU church, believe it or not, is that in many of them it's okay to be anything but. . . well, Christian. Jewish? Great! Atheist? You betcha! Secular humanist with a social justice orientation? Welcome! But Christians may not feel all that welcome, depending on the particular congregation. Our California minister is nervous about things like Easter and Christmas because some of the more vocal congregants complain about celebrating them. Yet we have multiple services related to Kwanzaa or Yom Kippur, etc. I'm still looking for a congregation here that offers some real sense of spirituality and doesn't seem apologetic when celebrating Christian holidays.

You can find local UU congregations by checking out the Unitarian Universalist Association website. Try different congregations to find the best fit for your family.