my boyfriend is being unreasonable about my cat
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Anonymous
| Last year I was overseas and my mom watched my cats for me. I have three because I used to live in a house. Now I live in a 1 bedroom efficiency and 3 cats is too many for this space. Granted if my mom didn't love my cats as much as I do, I would find a way to make it work but sometimes I think she doesn't want to give them back anyway. I wanted to bring at least one cat who I can't deny is my favorite to live with me. My boyfriend (we live together) doesn't want me to bring her because she sheds like crazy all the time. He doesn't want her on the bed. She used to sleep on top of me or cuddled up beside me. So fine, since they are fine at my moms, I've left it alone for now. So fast forward to early February. Random cat walks up to me after work and is all pitiful looking and meowing and clearly hasnt eaten and it's freezing out. I picked him up and took him home. I planned to just keep him temporarily but boyfriend decides he wants to keep him which I find annoying because I already have three cats! I realize this is my fault for bringing home a stray but my boyfriend is still adamant that I shouldn't bring my other cat to our apartment! It's now May and I've had several people offer to take him because he has a pretty awesome cat personality but my boyfriend won't give him up. I mean I like the cat too but I feel like I abandoned my kids with my mom and got another. After rereading all this I realize I sound ridiculous. All these emotions over my cat. |
Anonymous
Yep. Don't worry, we were all young and ridiculous once. |
Anonymous
|
This. Did. Not. Happen.
If it did happen, he's a manipulative prick. Throw him out. Now. Yesterday, really. |
Anonymous
| Eh i had a friend who was adament about getting a dog but finally relented. I've never seen someone so in love with a pet. I don't see it as manipulative at all. |
Anonymous
| LOL |
Anonymous
| Let me get this straight. Your boyfriend was unwilling to take in a cat not of his choosing who (by your admission) has grooming issues. You brought in a stray cat off the street, who your boyfriend got attached to and chose to keep, and you are upset because he chose this cat (which you brought in) over the cat you already had? |
Anonymous
| I have to add: people who have to have more than two pets really weird me out. One, definitely -- two, I can see (so they have a playmate), but three cats? And picking up strays?! |
Anonymous
It's not that people "have" to have more than two. Usually, it ends up that way because a person already has two but then finds a stray or has a friend who is a jerk and wants to get rid of his or her cat/dog at the first sign of inconvenience. Two of my three cats were strays. And once you take in a stray (especially a cat), it is very difficult to find a home for the stray, even if it is a kitten. Most shelters are full and the pound will tell you outright that it's likely the cat will be put down. So often people who have more than two pets are just compassionate and unwilling to let a healthy animal be killed if there is room in her house to accommodate the creature. Of course, there does come a point when too many animals is no longer healthy for anyone. But that's different than having three pets, especially if you live in a house or a place with plenty of space. The same statement could be made with "children" in place of "pets": People who have to have to have more than two children really weird me out. |
Anonymous
| Haha we take in strays and fosters all the time. Our house is like a doggie boarding house. I'd rather take them in and find them a home then have them euthanized. If be caring towards animals is weird then I guess my husband and I are grade A weird |
Anonymous
| Don't be mad. Instead see this as your ticket to cat acceptance. When my DH and I met he had indoor pets and I had none. Now I'm the crazy cat lady (also with a dog) who does TNR and takes in strays. Embrace his cat love and try to manipulate it to your other cats' advantage. |
Anonymous
| He probably just got attached to the particular cat based on having it around. |
Anonymous
| Is the cat that you love the most ok with transitions? Is your mom nearby? Would you be able to have the cat over to your place for "visits" now and then, for the weekend? If you have a cat that can tolerate being moved between 2 homes, you could have it over now and then. Maybe those occasions will start to happen more frequently. Maybe, once your BF is around your cat more often, he will start to enjoy it's personality as well. Maybe one weekend, you cat will just never leave. Or maybe, one weekend your boyfriend will move out and take his cat with him and your cat can come back and live with you again. If you seriously love your cat, the cat should be living with you. I have had to have my cats stay with a friend while I was living somewhere that wouldn't allow cats. I made it 3 months and realized that I had to change where I was living. Took me another 3 months, but by that time, I was able to bring them back home to live with me. Not having them for so long when I COULDN'T have them there was hard enough. I would never be able to have them live elsewhere when I COULD have them with me! It's time to consider how much these cats are actually yours or your mom's, and if you are going to have some backbone and move your cat back into your home whether your BF likes it or not. He gave up his say once he decided to keep a cat as well. Now it is your say. |
Anonymous
| You sound like you're under 25. Why are you playing house with some dude? Are you engaged? |
Anonymous
|
OP here,
We are not engaged but we've talked about it, it's definitely in the future. Sadly, I am over 25 and have become a cat lover! I never planned to have a bunch of cats, it just worked out that way. In any event, my mom has a house, and just my cats and is quite attached to them. One of them is unofficially hers now, the other two I got at the same time and are still technically mine. I think he's just attracted to this latest cat because it's young and playful. It's probably less than a year old. My cat is four and half and likes to lay around and occasionally harass the other cats. Whoever mentioned bringing my cat to visit occasionally, I think I might try that. My mom only lives 35 minutes from me so it's doable. She and the other cat both came to my apartment before the stray but the boy cat just didn't adjust well so I took him back to my moms. My girl cat stayed for a little while and then I went on a two week trip so I left her with my mom again and she's been there since because my bf essentially didn't want her to come back, his main complaint with her being that she sheds and I let her on the bed. She does shed the most of all my cats. I don't think he's being manipulative so much as he never grew up with animals in the house. He's adjusted quite a bit though having this stray who clearly is here to stay despite me finding several homes for him. I think you're right, I'm going to just bring her and he will adjust. I got the stray neutered so hopefully they will adjust to each other as well although I bet my girl will be annoyed with the stray boy. Thank you all for responding! |
Anonymous
| Wow. You sound incredibly immature. |