Family/being related is not an excuse to treat people worse than you would a stranger

[Anonymous]

For some reason there is this idea out there that we must put up with tirades, money sucking, boundary stomping, and downright nastiness simply because someone is "family." It took me a long time to realize that "family" in my case being related through marriage is not a free pass for someone to be an ass. This has been freeing for DH and I and it has taken years of trying to make things better with them and even some marital therapy thrown in.

The goody goody perfectionist in me still sometimes feels sad that we have some cut-offs on his side, but it has brought us so much peace to be free of the pain and it has made us more available and happy parents. More and more I am letting go of this idea that we do anything for and put up with anything from family and accepting that we have a right to be treated with dignity and respect. We can forgive without forgetting and just because we forgive, does not mean we have to continue a relationship. If a friend had treated us this way we would have ended the relationship many years ago.

[Anonymous]

Totally agreed. One of my siblings and spouse has been manipulative, taken advantage of kindness, lying, and been downright awful. I feel free by relieving myself of any obligation towards them.