Saw heartbeat this morning but I just feel numb

[Anonymous]

I've envisioned this day for a long time. I thought I would walk out of my RE's office for the last time and just feel elated. And now that it's here, I just feel...flat.

I don't know what to think. It's been a long road and it's hard to just turn on a dime from never letting myself hope too much to suddenly feeling like this might actually happen.

I feel disappointed that I'm not happier. As in, what the hell is wrong with me?

[Anonymous]

Nothing wrong with you at all. It is an emotional roller coaster ride, and it's completely understandably that one of the ways you have protected your mental health is to make yourself a bit numb. Give yourself time to slowly let your happiness take hold has you continue through the weeks and months of pregnancy.
Congratulations and best wishes!!

[Anonymous]

take it easy on yourself and good luck.

[Anonymous]

It takes time - perhaps you are protecting yourself by feeling nothing yet. My reaction was similar to yours, but it didn't stop me from absolutely loving my child.

[Anonymous]

I think the whole process (both during and after pregnancy) will be easier if you try to let go of your expectations about your pregnancy and your baby.

Congratulations!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It takes time - perhaps you are protecting yourself by feeling nothing yet. My reaction was similar to yours, but it didn't stop me from absolutely loving my child.

I agree with this. It will sink in. Good luck.

[jindc]

Anonymous wrote:It takes time - perhaps you are protecting yourself by feeling nothing yet. My reaction was similar to yours, but it didn't stop me from absolutely loving my child.

I also agree with this. It's hard to get excited. With time, you will let yourself get excited. Try to focus on all the positive milestones - a HB is excellent news. Slowly, with time and those milestones...you'll start to breathe more relief and feel connected to your baby.

Congrats, and much luck and health over the next 9 months.

[Anonymous]

You're in a little bit of shock. This can happen after a pleasant event, not just an unpleasant one. You'll come out of it fine. Congrats to you.

[Anonymous]

I had a similar feeling, and really didn't let myself believe i was going to have a baby until we brought them home from the hospital. I just felt like no matter how many times I saw the u/s or felt them kick that it wasn't real. My high risk ob said it's very common with IF patients, but I did get some weird comments from my ob's staff about my lack of enthusiasm. I just didn't feel like a normal pregnant woman and knowing too much about what can go wrong (former L+D nurse) really prevented me from enjoying pregnancy.

[Anonymous]

Honestly after everything we do to get pregnant it's really hard to believe its finally happening. After 3 IVFs and a frozen transfer i am not 34 1/2 weeks pregnant with twins. I even have my delivery date scheduled and still can't believe it. Sometimes I feel excited but majority of the time I'm waiting for something to go wrong. It really is sad that we can't enjoy something we tried so hard for but I just keep thinking what matters is when they are actually here. Best of luck with your pregnancy!!

[Anonymous]

i agree- totally normal. it takes a while o let go of the worry. but try to enjoy the good news, and congrats!

[Anonymous]

So, so, so normal. Best wishes for a healthy pregnancy, OP.

[Anonymous]

Totally normal. I had IVF twins and had ZERO connection to the pregnancy until around 35 weeks. I wanted to embrace it but I was still shell-shocked and scared after TTC for 3 years and doing IVF multiple times.

[Anonymous]

So normal. I was full of doubt and wariness til maybe around my 8th month. I did no even have a shower. In fact the whole idea of having a kid that is really mine did not hit me until about 3 weeks after she was born, when I had uncontrollable crying. my husband sent me to talk to someone and she said it was essentially PTSD from infertility.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for this thread; I needed to read it this morning. After finally making peace with the prospect of living without children after 3+ years of TTC, I got a positive pregnancy test this morning. I can't stop crying; I have no idea whether I am supposed to be happy (because this is what I wanted for so long) or sad (because this no longer fits with what I assumed my "new" life would be).

Through my infertility-colored glasses, I can't help but assume that this pregnancy can't possibly work.