Do you give gifts to coaches? How much?

[Anonymous]

We're somewhat new to the team sport arena and maybe a bit clueless. I don't recall ever giving gifts to coaches when I was young. Last spring each parent chipped in $5 and the coach got some gift certificate or something of that nature. This year, parents suggested $15 each - there are about 10 players ($150). I think this is intended to be split between the head and assistant coach - so $75 each. Maybe this is rude, but I don't think any gift is necessary and $5 is plenty - but I want to know if I'm out of line....

[Anonymous]

$15 seems reasonable.

[Anonymous]

My dad coached my little brothers ice hockey team for years, and always got something along the lines of $75 for his efforts. I remember one year, he got MUCH less, I believe it was in the $15 range, and he was livid over it. Not because of the amount per say, more the fact that it came off as a last minute, 'we HAVE to do something' kind of obligation. I am sure it also had to do with the fact that it was kind of thrown in his face, and not really 'presented' to him, but he was very hurt that the parts of these kids, who he really connected with, and gave up some of his very rare free time to coach, didn't appreciate his efforts, if that makes sense. I know that giving up money now for things like this is difficult for some people, and if you cannot afford to give, then don't, but in the scheme of things 15 bucks is pretty cheap to let someone know that you appreciate their time and commitment to your child.

[Anonymous]

OP here -- comment to PP - when did coaches start to expect something? I absolutely appreciate the time coaches contribute - I think it's really noble to donate your time that way. But this was not the norm when I was a kid. Heck, we didn't give teachers presents either (except maybe homemade cards and such). I'd appreciate more people commenting. I'd really like to hear if I'm well out of line.

[Anonymous]

My DH coaches youth lacrosse and my dad youth soccer. Neither expects anything. They coach because they love it and volunteer. That said they usuaaly get cards signed by all of the kids and a giftcard. Dad has gotten gift cards to restaurants, golf and for Dicks. Kids usually give between $10 & $15. It is never expected but just something nice the team does. The coaches take a lot of time out of their weekday nights for practice, admin stuff and weekends away from home/their own families.

[Anonymous]

And OP, if $10 or $15 is too much to give just decline and do not give it. Just give them a card that your child signs. It is not a big deal but now a days it is the norm.

[Anonymous]

I coached basketball almost 20 years ago and I remember receiving small tokens of appreciation from the team as well as a card that all the kids signed. (I still have this)

In addition, I remember purchasing gifts for my elementary school teachers growing up (I can't remember if it was for the December Holidays / end of year or both).

So, to OP - not sure where you grew up, or if you just forgot about certain things that were done by the adults around you, but this is not outside of the norm.

[Anonymous]

OP again -- Is this a local practice? I grew up in the Cleveland area. This was never the practice. I also asked a few co-workers, and they had never heard of this. Listen, I absolutely don't want to come off as cold hearted. DH is a teacher and in Cleveland (inner city) didn't get anything for xmas, teacher's appreciation, etc. -- form students or admin. It wasn't done and wasn't expected. Now he gets an extraordinary amount of gifts during the year. He certainly appreciates them, but they are not necessary and he wouldn't be upset without them. Frankly, growing up, no one ever gave teachers presents either - save maybe a hand made card or that sort of thing. I don't begrudge coaches gifts - I had just never heard of it until now - honestly! I wonder if anyone else never heard of this or thinks this is either a localized practice and/or a new phenomenon? In the end, so you all know, I'll contribute to the gift because my kids do enjoy the sport and I do appreciate the coach's time and dedication. I was just a bit surprised to find that this appears to be the standard. Where the heck have I been?!

[Anonymous]

17:24 here:
Coached in Michigan and got gifts

Grew up in NY and gave gifts

Brother coached LAX in Columbus - got gifts


This is not a local thing.

[Anonymous]

We never gave coaches gifts when I was growing up, but have found this to be the norm with our daughter's teams (she's 12). I feel like this is a newer trend too OP!

[Anonymous]

while it's nice to show appreciation, it sure sounds obnoxious for someone to not only EXPECT a gift at all but to expect a certain dollar figure and become "livid" when getting less. really?!??

[Anonymous]

I grew up in Chicago and gave gifts to all of my teachers.

I dont think it is local.

[Anonymous]

OP, if you are so flabergasted by this practice then do not participate. You asked co-workers, you asked DCUM, and it is really not that big of a deal. It is ten dollars, just give it or do not give it.

These parents are showing appreciation for the time spent coaching, the lost work time (alot of these coaches have to leave work early to make these preactices), the lost time for their own families, the out of pocket cost (yes, some coaches spend a little of their own money on stuff) and the value they add to the lives of these kids. If you are opposed just dont do it. Obviously it is done in other places, not just MD, DC, VA.

[Anonymous]

All of the parents always chipped in and got our soccer coaches gift certificates/small present.

At the end-of-the-season pizza party, the parents would pay for the coaches' meals too.

It was a county league, but the county didn't pay the coaches (strictly volunteer). There is a lot of behind the scenes things going on too that not all parents know - setting up the fields, coordination, pleasing kids (+ their overbearing parents), etc.

[Anonymous]

I think we are talking about 2 different coaches too. OP - is yours a volunteer or paid?

We have our kids on paid coach team and volunteer coach teams. I think on the paid coach - it is more of a tip and generally more optional but generally more costly since this is how they make a living. I think for a volunteer coach, it is a gift and a nice show of appreciation. It depends on the # of kids on the team too. If there are alot of kids, $5 seems fine. If there are only a few, more seems necessary to get something decent.