asking for money for hosting teens tacky?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m visiting my kid at college and will take that many kids out to dinner tonight, so my answer is no.

But, if you really can’t manage, you need DS to manage it with his friends. Do not reach out to parents.

Not remotely the same. Are you cooking the dinner and doing the dishes? Plan to wake up and do it again for 3 meals the next day?

Get paper plates and ask the kids to help cook and clean up.

Key word here is "help" like there's not actual work going on. The kids can also "help" pay for this beach week they planned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m visiting my kid at college and will take that many kids out to dinner tonight, so my answer is no.

But, if you really can’t manage, you need DS to manage it with his friends. Do not reach out to parents.

I can smell this lie from a mile away. What’s next you’ll take them to Hawaii and pay for everything yourself?

If I had my kid invite a friend to a vacation, yes, we'd pay for it all.

Do you think OP dreamed all this up and asked her kid to invite all these kids and put this plan in motion?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m visiting my kid at college and will take that many kids out to dinner tonight, so my answer is no.

But, if you really can’t manage, you need DS to manage it with his friends. Do not reach out to parents.

Not remotely the same. Are you cooking the dinner and doing the dishes? Plan to wake up and do it again for 3 meals the next day?

Get paper plates and ask the kids to help cook and clean up.

Key word here is "help" like there's not actual work going on. The kids can also "help" pay for this beach week they planned.

If you don't want to host, don't invite them. This isn't a trip the kids organized. This is a trip at a parent's house that they own and they invited the kids. The kids are probably sleeping on the floor and if its big enough for 12-16 people OP can afford some food.

My kids can cook and clean up, why can't yours?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m visiting my kid at college and will take that many kids out to dinner tonight, so my answer is no.

But, if you really can’t manage, you need DS to manage it with his friends. Do not reach out to parents.

I can smell this lie from a mile away. What’s next you’ll take them to Hawaii and pay for everything yourself?

If I had my kid invite a friend to a vacation, yes, we'd pay for it all.

Do you think OP dreamed all this up and asked her kid to invite all these kids and put this plan in motion?

OP easily could have said no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m visiting my kid at college and will take that many kids out to dinner tonight, so my answer is no.

But, if you really can’t manage, you need DS to manage it with his friends. Do not reach out to parents.

I can smell this lie from a mile away. What’s next you’ll take them to Hawaii and pay for everything yourself?

When you visit or will visit your kid at college, you wouldn't take them and their roomate or a few friends out to eat and pay for it? Stingy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those kids (and parents) are lucky to get a free stay in OP's Beach House. Why would OP have to pay for all of the meals for 7!!! 17 year old kids??!! That's a lot of money and if any of the parents think that's ok, they are out of their mind. They should give their kids money to buy snacks and food.

The only people who won't think to offer (which is the tacky part- your kid gets invited, of course you offer) are people who grew up rich and don't even empathize that this could be an expense. Also the takers.

People who grew up poor and normal people would offer to pay for meals as a matter of course.

Wrong.

Plenty of working class immigrant families would feed everyone in an analogous situation. It’s a matter of hospitality and generosity and having class/pride.

Look at ethnic weddings, for example.

Wrong? Did you even read? PP said people who grew up poor would offer to pay.
Even if the host was a working class immigrant themself which is not even a factor in this discussion, and insisting on feeding everyone, working class people would still check and offer. You're not even making sense.

Most of us gladly feed people and pay.

You don’t ever do things like this. One dinner is nothing.

I regularly feed kids - especially the HS sports team. I provide all the food, cook and clean up. Usually, we rotate homes but I do the bulk of it and don't complain. Its easy to do it cheaply for 20-25 kids. Usually its weekly for 10 weeks.

So even you admit you are the outlier and are taken advantage of….so that’s fine, but the majority of the other parents aren’t willing to do this it seems even once.

I'm not being taken advantage of. I choose to do it. I can say no. Its important to my child and the other kids. Its not a big deal to make a few big batches of pasta, salad and desert.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those kids (and parents) are lucky to get a free stay in OP's Beach House. Why would OP have to pay for all of the meals for 7!!! 17 year old kids??!! That's a lot of money and if any of the parents think that's ok, they are out of their mind. They should give their kids money to buy snacks and food.

The only people who won't think to offer (which is the tacky part- your kid gets invited, of course you offer) are people who grew up rich and don't even empathize that this could be an expense. Also the takers.

People who grew up poor and normal people would offer to pay for meals as a matter of course.

Wrong.

Plenty of working class immigrant families would feed everyone in an analogous situation. It’s a matter of hospitality and generosity and having class/pride.

Look at ethnic weddings, for example.

Wrong? Did you even read? PP said people who grew up poor would offer to pay.
Even if the host was a working class immigrant themself which is not even a factor in this discussion, and insisting on feeding everyone, working class people would still check and offer. You're not even making sense.

Most of us gladly feed people and pay.

You don’t ever do things like this. One dinner is nothing.

I regularly feed kids - especially the HS sports team. I provide all the food, cook and clean up. Usually, we rotate homes but I do the bulk of it and don't complain. It’s easy to do it cheaply for 20-25 kids. Usually it’s weekly for 10 weeks.

You seriously need to stop making things up. Why are the high school teams of 20-25 teens regularly coming to your house? What’s the purpose? Never heard of this in my entire life.

Its part of the team culture to do weekly meals before meets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m visiting my kid at college and will take that many kids out to dinner tonight, so my answer is no.

But, if you really can’t manage, you need DS to manage it with his friends. Do not reach out to parents.

Not remotely the same. Are you cooking the dinner and doing the dishes? Plan to wake up and do it again for 3 meals the next day?

Get paper plates and ask the kids to help cook and clean up.

Key word here is "help" like there's not actual work going on. The kids can also "help" pay for this beach week they planned.

If you don't want to host, don't invite them. This isn't a trip the kids organized. This is a trip at a parent's house that they own and they invited the kids. The kids are probably sleeping on the floor and if its big enough for 12-16 people OP can afford some food.

My kids can cook and clean up, why can't yours?

This is a trip the kids organized. Sorry to explain to you how teens work. Your kids are 5 and you're out of your element.

[Anonymous]

You own a beach house, so presumably have a lot of money...don't be that person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those kids (and parents) are lucky to get a free stay in OP's Beach House. Why would OP have to pay for all of the meals for 7!!! 17 year old kids??!! That's a lot of money and if any of the parents think that's ok, they are out of their mind. They should give their kids money to buy snacks and food.

The only people who won't think to offer (which is the tacky part- your kid gets invited, of course you offer) are people who grew up rich and don't even empathize that this could be an expense. Also the takers.

People who grew up poor and normal people would offer to pay for meals as a matter of course.

Wrong.

Plenty of working class immigrant families would feed everyone in an analogous situation. It’s a matter of hospitality and generosity and having class/pride.

Look at ethnic weddings, for example.

Wrong? Did you even read? PP said people who grew up poor would offer to pay.
Even if the host was a working class immigrant themself which is not even a factor in this discussion, and insisting on feeding everyone, working class people would still check and offer. You're not even making sense.

Most of us gladly feed people and pay.

You don’t ever do things like this. One dinner is nothing.

I regularly feed kids - especially the HS sports team. I provide all the food, cook and clean up. Usually, we rotate homes but I do the bulk of it and don't complain. It’s easy to do it cheaply for 20-25 kids. Usually it’s weekly for 10 weeks.

You seriously need to stop making things up. Why are the high school teams of 20-25 teens regularly coming to your house? What’s the purpose? Never heard of this in my entire life.

Its part of the team culture to do weekly meals before meets.

It's team culture that one sucker does the bulk of it? Some culture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those kids (and parents) are lucky to get a free stay in OP's Beach House. Why would OP have to pay for all of the meals for 7!!! 17 year old kids??!! That's a lot of money and if any of the parents think that's ok, they are out of their mind. They should give their kids money to buy snacks and food.

The only people who won't think to offer (which is the tacky part- your kid gets invited, of course you offer) are people who grew up rich and don't even empathize that this could be an expense. Also the takers.

People who grew up poor and normal people would offer to pay for meals as a matter of course.

Wrong.

Plenty of working class immigrant families would feed everyone in an analogous situation. It’s a matter of hospitality and generosity and having class/pride.

Look at ethnic weddings, for example.

Wrong? Did you even read? PP said people who grew up poor would offer to pay.
Even if the host was a working class immigrant themself which is not even a factor in this discussion, and insisting on feeding everyone, working class people would still check and offer. You're not even making sense.

Most of us gladly feed people and pay.

You don’t ever do things like this. One dinner is nothing.

I regularly feed kids - especially the HS sports team. I provide all the food, cook and clean up. Usually, we rotate homes but I do the bulk of it and don't complain. It’s easy to do it cheaply for 20-25 kids. Usually it’s weekly for 10 weeks.

You seriously need to stop making things up. Why are the high school teams of 20-25 teens regularly coming to your house? What’s the purpose? Never heard of this in my entire life.

Its part of the team culture to do weekly meals before meets.

It's team culture that one sucker does the bulk of it? Some culture.

Never heard of it because it’s actually stupid, obviously the previous poster has no clue about athletics. Athletes need specific nutrition, customized to how their body is processing the food and the demands of the sport. Communal meals tend to stimulate overeating which is why no team is doing them as part of the “culture”. No athlete wants to be fed before the meet pasta and instant ramen on the cheap. If anything there is a celebration meal at the end of the season after the game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I wouldn’t set a dollar amount but maybe just a note to the parents along the lines of “a small contribution towards groceries would be appreciated but not necessary” or something like that.

Don’t use that phrasing.

Great suggestion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those kids (and parents) are lucky to get a free stay in OP's Beach House. Why would OP have to pay for all of the meals for 7!!! 17 year old kids??!! That's a lot of money and if any of the parents think that's ok, they are out of their mind. They should give their kids money to buy snacks and food.

The only people who won't think to offer (which is the tacky part- your kid gets invited, of course you offer) are people who grew up rich and don't even empathize that this could be an expense. Also the takers.

People who grew up poor and normal people would offer to pay for meals as a matter of course.

Wrong.

Plenty of working class immigrant families would feed everyone in an analogous situation. It’s a matter of hospitality and generosity and having class/pride.

Look at ethnic weddings, for example.

Wrong? Did you even read? PP said people who grew up poor would offer to pay.
Even if the host was a working class immigrant themself which is not even a factor in this discussion, and insisting on feeding everyone, working class people would still check and offer. You're not even making sense.

Most of us gladly feed people and pay.

You don’t ever do things like this. One dinner is nothing.

I regularly feed kids - especially the HS sports team. I provide all the food, cook and clean up. Usually, we rotate homes but I do the bulk of it and don't complain. It’s easy to do it cheaply for 20-25 kids. Usually it’s weekly for 10 weeks.

You seriously need to stop making things up. Why are the high school teams of 20-25 teens regularly coming to your house? What’s the purpose? Never heard of this in my entire life.

Its part of the team culture to do weekly meals before meets.

It's team culture that one sucker does the bulk of it? Some culture.

Never heard of it because it’s actually stupid, obviously the previous poster has no clue about athletics. Athletes need specific nutrition, customized to how their body is processing the food and the demands of the sport. Communal meals tend to stimulate overeating which is why no team is doing them as part of the “culture”. No athlete wants to be fed before the meet pasta and instant ramen on the cheap. If anything there is a celebration meal at the end of the season after the game.

Then you are pretty ignorant. Pasta weekly dinners are the expectation. No ramen. You sound lazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those kids (and parents) are lucky to get a free stay in OP's Beach House. Why would OP have to pay for all of the meals for 7!!! 17 year old kids??!! That's a lot of money and if any of the parents think that's ok, they are out of their mind. They should give their kids money to buy snacks and food.

The only people who won't think to offer (which is the tacky part- your kid gets invited, of course you offer) are people who grew up rich and don't even empathize that this could be an expense. Also the takers.

People who grew up poor and normal people would offer to pay for meals as a matter of course.

Wrong.

Plenty of working class immigrant families would feed everyone in an analogous situation. It’s a matter of hospitality and generosity and having class/pride.

Look at ethnic weddings, for example.

Wrong? Did you even read? PP said people who grew up poor would offer to pay.
Even if the host was a working class immigrant themself which is not even a factor in this discussion, and insisting on feeding everyone, working class people would still check and offer. You're not even making sense.

Most of us gladly feed people and pay.

You don’t ever do things like this. One dinner is nothing.

I regularly feed kids - especially the HS sports team. I provide all the food, cook and clean up. Usually, we rotate homes but I do the bulk of it and don't complain. It’s easy to do it cheaply for 20-25 kids. Usually it’s weekly for 10 weeks.

You seriously need to stop making things up. Why are the high school teams of 20-25 teens regularly coming to your house? What’s the purpose? Never heard of this in my entire life.

Its part of the team culture to do weekly meals before meets.

It's team culture that one sucker does the bulk of it? Some culture.

I prefer the kids at my house where they are safe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those kids (and parents) are lucky to get a free stay in OP's Beach House. Why would OP have to pay for all of the meals for 7!!! 17 year old kids??!! That's a lot of money and if any of the parents think that's ok, they are out of their mind. They should give their kids money to buy snacks and food.

The only people who won't think to offer (which is the tacky part- your kid gets invited, of course you offer) are people who grew up rich and don't even empathize that this could be an expense. Also the takers.

People who grew up poor and normal people would offer to pay for meals as a matter of course.

Wrong.

Plenty of working class immigrant families would feed everyone in an analogous situation. It’s a matter of hospitality and generosity and having class/pride.

Look at ethnic weddings, for example.

Wrong? Did you even read? PP said people who grew up poor would offer to pay.
Even if the host was a working class immigrant themself which is not even a factor in this discussion, and insisting on feeding everyone, working class people would still check and offer. You're not even making sense.

Most of us gladly feed people and pay.

You don’t ever do things like this. One dinner is nothing.

I regularly feed kids - especially the HS sports team. I provide all the food, cook and clean up. Usually, we rotate homes but I do the bulk of it and don't complain. It’s easy to do it cheaply for 20-25 kids. Usually it’s weekly for 10 weeks.

You seriously need to stop making things up. Why are the high school teams of 20-25 teens regularly coming to your house? What’s the purpose? Never heard of this in my entire life.

Its part of the team culture to do weekly meals before meets.

It's team culture that one sucker does the bulk of it? Some culture.

I prefer the kids at my house where they are safe.

Again…you keep admitting you are the sucker and the outlier. Therefore, it shouldn’t surprise you if the vast majority of the other parents have a different perspective on say the costs when their 17 year old invites 6 friends to the beach house.