Revealing affair

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:A friend told me my first dh was cheating on me. She was privy to the information because my ex used her and her dh as his alibi. We were all friends. I was SO GRATEFUL to this woman for having the balls to call me and tell me something I had actually suspected. I was lied to and gaslit by my ex. My df did me a huge favor. Decades later I am still glad she told me. She said she did not want to be complicit in the lie.

But she was your friend. She told you out of concern for you, not for her own revenge or need to make things like pain equal. Their marriage was blown up, so in her mind, yours should too *because the sectet*. The secret is over already.

You don’t know that. Most of us that caught our friends husband cheating, and told them we’re just so glad to get that **** out of our lives.

And many women stay. It doesn’t make them weak or less. It makes them
Different than you.

Staying after infidelity is their choice. You know what isn't? Being lied to and gaslit and not having all the information. If I want to stay with my husband after he cheats on me, that is my choice, but at least I'm making it with ALL the information out in the open. I'd rather make that decision actually knowing what's going on.

It's clear that the other posters know they'd never leave even if their husbands cheated on them because they can't and they don't want anyone else to know that they're too weak to do anything about it.

DING DING DING

They have no options so they’d rather live in a delulu “good marriage” than know the truth.

Yes, everyone knows Hillary Clinton and Beyonce are "too weak" and "delulu".

Don't try to use their f'd up marriages as examples of a standard marriages most of us want. With fame and politics involved, people make different choices. It's sick that you try to normalize this.

Yes these are women who are damaged in some way regardless of wealth, and fame.

I'ts not like PP could use regular people as an example, but I guarantee you that you know and love someone who has been the victim of infidelity and stayed and didn't tell you.

I also guarantee you that no one, NO ONE, isn't "damaged" as you say. Even the most well adjusted people I know who were raised in loving and peaceful homes have things that are messed up about them.

I agree with you! Everyone has some sort of issue, my point was they do too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Congratulations on possibly destroying children’s lives with a bitter divorce that might not have otherwise happened if you didn’t feel the need to insert yourself into other’s lives.

This is worse than cheating. You are directly possibly causing trauma for kids that may not have happened otherwise. Marriage is about much more than sex.

People should mind their own business.

-never cheated

Triggered AP alert!

Not an AP. never cheated. I am divorced. I have a “good divorce” but when something like this happens, it causes bad divorces that might otherwise happen. That directly puts kids at risk. Just sex between adults does not do that. Acting like the morality police does involve kids. Bad divorces hurt kids. Cheating alone hurts adults. See the difference? Most affairs, according to research, never get discovered. Bringing that to light when it is not your own marriage is flat out selfish and wrong. I even heard Dr Phil agree about this.

You're quoting that nutjob Dr. Phil? No wonder you are so messed up.

No hon. It's best if the cheated on spouse knows. The truth is better. You are really messed up. What is your story because I can't believe you are posting that op is selfish for contacting the other spouse.

I’m a parent and I am divorced,
and I see how bad divorces can be if somebody cheats. there was no cheating in my marriage, but I would not have left if it was only cheating. I also would not want to know if there was cheating involved because that to me is not a reason to leave a marriage. There are plenty of other reasons that are worse. My kids have a “good” divorce, but many kids don’t and any adult who gets involved and makes it possible for kids to endure a bad divorce and have lifetime trauma is way worse than someone going outside their marriage for short-term sex. Sex is not the foundation of a marriage. The children and finances are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Congratulations on possibly destroying children’s lives with a bitter divorce that might not have otherwise happened if you didn’t feel the need to insert yourself into other’s lives.

This is worse than cheating. You are directly possibly causing trauma for kids that may not have happened otherwise. Marriage is about much more than sex.

People should mind their own business.

-never cheated

Triggered AP alert!

Not an AP. never cheated. I am divorced. I have a “good divorce” but when something like this happens, it causes bad divorces that might otherwise happen. That directly puts kids at risk. Just sex between adults does not do that. Acting like the morality police does involve kids. Bad divorces hurt kids. Cheating alone hurts adults. See the difference? Most affairs, according to research, never get discovered. Bringing that to light when it is not your own marriage is flat out selfish and wrong. I even heard Dr Phil agree about this.

You're quoting that nutjob Dr. Phil? No wonder you are so messed up.

No hon. It's best if the cheated on spouse knows. The truth is better. You are really messed up. What is your story because I can't believe you are posting that op is selfish for contacting the other spouse.

OP clearly told the other spouse to feel better. She did not care about the other spouse. Definition of selfish. Perhaps understandable given her situation. But let’s not pretend she acted with any thought for the other. That’s the truth.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Congratulations on possibly destroying children’s lives with a bitter divorce that might not have otherwise happened if you didn’t feel the need to insert yourself into other’s lives.

This is worse than cheating. You are directly possibly causing trauma for kids that may not have happened otherwise. Marriage is about much more than sex.

People should mind their own business.

-never cheated

Triggered AP alert!

Not an AP. never cheated. I am divorced. I have a “good divorce” but when something like this happens, it causes bad divorces that might otherwise happen. That directly puts kids at risk. Just sex between adults does not do that. Acting like the morality police does involve kids. Bad divorces hurt kids. Cheating alone hurts adults. See the difference? Most affairs, according to research, never get discovered. Bringing that to light when it is not your own marriage is flat out selfish and wrong. I even heard Dr Phil agree about this.

You're quoting that nutjob Dr. Phil? No wonder you are so messed up.

No hon. It's best if the cheated on spouse knows. The truth is better. You are really messed up. What is your story because I can't believe you are posting that op is selfish for contacting the other spouse.

I’m a parent and I am divorced,
and I see how bad divorces can be if somebody cheats. there was no cheating in my marriage, but I would not have left if it was only cheating. I also would not want to know if there was cheating involved because that to me is not a reason to leave a marriage. There are plenty of other reasons that are worse. My kids have a “good” divorce, but many kids don’t and any adult who gets involved and makes it possible for kids to endure a bad divorce and have lifetime trauma is way worse than someone going outside their marriage for short-term sex. Sex is not the foundation of a marriage. The children and finances are.

I'm confused by this "only cheating" bit. For many people who have affairs, not only are they having sex with someone else, but they are spending all sorts of resources - money, time - on the other person, as well as depriving their spouse and children of their attention and connection. A cheater drains a lot from their spouse/family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A friend told me my first dh was cheating on me. She was privy to the information because my ex used her and her dh as his alibi. We were all friends. I was SO GRATEFUL to this woman for having the balls to call me and tell me something I had actually suspected. I was lied to and gaslit by my ex. My df did me a huge favor. Decades later I am still glad she told me. She said she did not want to be complicit in the lie.

But she was your friend. She told you out of concern for you, not for her own revenge or need to make things like pain equal. Their marriage was blown up, so in her mind, yours should too *because the sectet*. The secret is over already.

So what if I want revenge? Doesn't the other woman deserve it? She inserted herself in my life and deserves to have hers blown up like she did mine. And her husband deserves to know what she is up to.

I think you’re confused. If you want “revenge”, it’s your DH you take revenge upon. This woman isn’t great but your DH is 100% responsible for cheating.

This is simply not the case. If someone knowingly sleeps with your spouse, you have a legitimate grievance against them too. That’s not to say what to do about it, but to pretend that person has not done you wrong is insane and silly.

And these women APs stalk the wife w/out her knowledge. They work against her with the info they glean. They wish her harm or that the spouse will leave her. This is why when they post here acting so noble and blast a betrayed spouse for sending an email to their spouse with the facts, nothing more or less, it is so insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is all just another version of blame and revenge on the other woman, instead of placing blame and work where it should be placed - on *your* cheating spouse, and focusing on *your* relationship.

I blamed my cheating spouse. I felt morally obligated to inform the other betrayed spouse so they were no longer victim to the lies and potential health risks.

Being cheated on felt like someone was holding me underwater. When I finally figured out the truth, I couldn't bear to sit by and watch another person being treated the same way.

So you pulled them under water and held their head down with you? How did that help you? You felt better lashing out and making sure someone else felt as miserable as you did? More power to you I guess.

It’s so ironic that the women of DCUM become such excellent communicators in this situation, but can’t lay down boundaries about Thanksgiving with their own families year after year.

Not at all. I felt like I could finally breathe again and when I figured out the truth. I hated to see someone else being lied to the way I had been.

+1

I learned she had been cheating most of the affair, serially with married men and that her husband had no clue (but several of her friends knew and were alibis, fellow online cheaters) and that she planned to spring a divorce on him when their kids left for college.

I felt so bad for him not knowing the lie and I imagined him getting blindsided with a divorce filing out of the blue—-while this SAHM had been stashing $ and having him make decisions that would benefit her upon divorce.

I did think about him when I saw how cruel she was and how she talked trash about him.

He did file himself when he found out and personally thanked me. And, yes, it was extremely painful- just like it was for me. But, we both were so glad to know the truth about our lives, guard our health, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Congratulations on possibly destroying children’s lives with a bitter divorce that might not have otherwise happened if you didn’t feel the need to insert yourself into other’s lives.

This is worse than cheating. You are directly possibly causing trauma for kids that may not have happened otherwise. Marriage is about much more than sex.

People should mind their own business.

-never cheated

This is not worse than cheating. The cheating spouses caused the problems. If OP needed to unburden, then good for OP.

If you don't want people to find out about your bad acts, don't do them!

No! Sex is a private act between consenting adults married or not. Intentionally causing a divorce that might never happen if you did not open your mouth is worse. Intentionally involving kids. I have never cheated. When I was married, I would not have wanted to know. Marriage is much bigger than just sex. The problem is people like you think sex is the most important thing. No, kids' stability and finances are. Don't cheat but also don't get involved in other people's marriages that potentially makes you the impetus to harm kids. Research says most affairs are never discovered.

I feel the same. If DH steps out but has no intention of leaving, will end it eventually, and is still being decent to me and the kids, I do not want to know. I know that I would not be able to stay and I think that would kill my kids. It would also ruin me financially. I respect people who would want to know, but there are a lot of us who wouldn't.

This is so pathetic I don't even know what to say.

Many families have don't ask, don't tell policy. I would not want to know. OP just wants to be an active participant of the drama, that's pretty pathetic.

Then delete the email. Problem solved.

Not wanting to know does not mean turning away, when someone deliberately shoves it in your face.

OP here. The other betrayed spouse thanked me for telling them. They told me they were grateful for the information because they had noticed their spouse had been acting differently but denied and deflected. They told me they felt relieved that they now knew the truth.

I'm glad I told them. I hated keeping such an awful secret from another innocent person. They deserved to know what was happening in their marriage so they could make informed choices for themselves, their health, their marriage, etc.

still, all about you. Here’s your cape. You’re my hero.

Actually, they use the word they more than they use the word I.

I’m sorry that you can’t be a good person. I’m sorry about whatever happened to you in your childhood that brought you to this point in the world.

None of us need capes to be a normal, caring and compassionate human.

This is so f'd up. Counting the use of "I" vs "They" is your justification for insulting op? Crazy. Come clean. Were you the one who blew up your marriage? It's clear that it hurt you financially and messed up your fairytale life. Deal with that instead of attacking op.

I wonder what happened to her? Addiction? Childhood abuse?

It’s wild to see someone so delusional.

Honestly, what happened to you that you feel
The need to be so hyperbolic about anyone that has a differing opinion than you? The only person attacking anyone is you. No one has personally attacked the OP in the manner you’re attacking anyone that doesn’t agree with her tactic. You okay?

I'm not attacking you I'm bemusing what actually happened to you.

My friends who blew up their marriage were abused as a child, or had schizophasia, another was an alcoholic, another had PTSD.

Your writing is delusional and deranged not a coherent argument with another viewpoint.

Please look back on your own posts. You’re not providing coherent or constructive arguments, you’re just throwing around names and armchair diagnoses meant as slurs.

And, FWIW, you’re also responding to more than one person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is all just another version of blame and revenge on the other woman, instead of placing blame and work where it should be placed - on *your* cheating spouse, and focusing on *your* relationship.

I blamed my cheating spouse. I felt morally obligated to inform the other betrayed spouse so they were no longer victim to the lies and potential health risks.

Being cheated on felt like someone was holding me underwater. When I finally figured out the truth, I couldn't bear to sit by and watch another person being treated the same way.

So you pulled them under water and held their head down with you? How did that help you? You felt better lashing out and making sure someone else felt as miserable as you did? More power to you I guess.

It’s so ironic that the women of DCUM become such excellent communicators in this situation, but can’t lay down boundaries about Thanksgiving with their own families year after year.

Not at all. I felt like I could finally breathe again and when I figured out the truth. I hated to see someone else being lied to the way I had been.

+1

I learned she had been cheating most of the affair, serially with married men and that her husband had no clue (but several of her friends knew and were alibis, fellow online cheaters) and that she planned to spring a divorce on him when their kids left for college.

I felt so bad for him not knowing the lie and I imagined him getting blindsided with a divorce filing out of the blue—-while this SAHM had been stashing $ and having him make decisions that would benefit her upon divorce.

I did think about him when I saw how cruel she was and how she talked trash about him.

He did file himself when he found out and personally thanked me. And, yes, it was extremely painful- just like it was for me. But, we both were so glad to know the truth about our lives, guard our health, etc.

And what did you do with your spouse?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is all just another version of blame and revenge on the other woman, instead of placing blame and work where it should be placed - on *your* cheating spouse, and focusing on *your* relationship.

I blamed my cheating spouse. I felt morally obligated to inform the other betrayed spouse so they were no longer victim to the lies and potential health risks.

Being cheated on felt like someone was holding me underwater. When I finally figured out the truth, I couldn't bear to sit by and watch another person being treated the same way.

So you pulled them under water and held their head down with you? How did that help you? You felt better lashing out and making sure someone else felt as miserable as you did? More power to you I guess.

It’s so ironic that the women of DCUM become such excellent communicators in this situation, but can’t lay down boundaries about Thanksgiving with their own families year after year.

Not at all. I felt like I could finally breathe again and when I figured out the truth. I hated to see someone else being lied to the way I had been.

+1

I learned she had been cheating most of the affair, serially with married men and that her husband had no clue (but several of her friends knew and were alibis, fellow online cheaters) and that she planned to spring a divorce on him when their kids left for college.

I felt so bad for him not knowing the lie and I imagined him getting blindsided with a divorce filing out of the blue—-while this SAHM had been stashing $ and having him make decisions that would benefit her upon divorce.

I did think about him when I saw how cruel she was and how she talked trash about him.

He did file himself when he found out and personally thanked me. And, yes, it was extremely painful- just like it was for me. But, we both were so glad to know the truth about our lives, guard our health, etc.

And what did you do with your spouse?

You mean my former spouse?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Congratulations on possibly destroying children’s lives with a bitter divorce that might not have otherwise happened if you didn’t feel the need to insert yourself into other’s lives.

This is worse than cheating. You are directly possibly causing trauma for kids that may not have happened otherwise. Marriage is about much more than sex.

People should mind their own business.

-never cheated

Triggered AP alert!

Not an AP. never cheated. I am divorced. I have a “good divorce” but when something like this happens, it causes bad divorces that might otherwise happen. That directly puts kids at risk. Just sex between adults does not do that. Acting like the morality police does involve kids. Bad divorces hurt kids. Cheating alone hurts adults. See the difference? Most affairs, according to research, never get discovered. Bringing that to light when it is not your own marriage is flat out selfish and wrong. I even heard Dr Phil agree about this.

You're quoting that nutjob Dr. Phil? No wonder you are so messed up.

No hon. It's best if the cheated on spouse knows. The truth is better. You are really messed up. What is your story because I can't believe you are posting that op is selfish for contacting the other spouse.

I’m a parent and I am divorced,
and I see how bad divorces can be if somebody cheats. there was no cheating in my marriage, but I would not have left if it was only cheating. I also would not want to know if there was cheating involved because that to me is not a reason to leave a marriage. There are plenty of other reasons that are worse. My kids have a “good” divorce, but many kids don’t and any adult who gets involved and makes it possible for kids to endure a bad divorce and have lifetime trauma is way worse than someone going outside their marriage for short-term sex. Sex is not the foundation of a marriage. The children and finances are.

Unfortunately, the commonly accepted “acceptable” reasons to divorce usually lead to breakups that at traumatizing for children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Congratulations on possibly destroying children’s lives with a bitter divorce that might not have otherwise happened if you didn’t feel the need to insert yourself into other’s lives.

This is worse than cheating. You are directly possibly causing trauma for kids that may not have happened otherwise. Marriage is about much more than sex.

People should mind their own business.

-never cheated

This is not worse than cheating. The cheating spouses caused the problems. If OP needed to unburden, then good for OP.

If you don't want people to find out about your bad acts, don't do them!

No! Sex is a private act between consenting adults married or not. Intentionally causing a divorce that might never happen if you did not open your mouth is worse. Intentionally involving kids. I have never cheated. When I was married, I would not have wanted to know. Marriage is much bigger than just sex. The problem is people like you think sex is the most important thing. No, kids' stability and finances are. Don't cheat but also don't get involved in other people's marriages that potentially makes you the impetus to harm kids. Research says most affairs are never discovered.

I feel the same. If DH steps out but has no intention of leaving, will end it eventually, and is still being decent to me and the kids, I do not want to know. I know that I would not be able to stay and I think that would kill my kids. It would also ruin me financially. I respect people who would want to know, but there are a lot of us who wouldn't.

This is so pathetic I don't even know what to say.

Many families have don't ask, don't tell policy. I would not want to know. OP just wants to be an active participant of the drama, that's pretty pathetic.

Then delete the email. Problem solved.

Not wanting to know does not mean turning away, when someone deliberately shoves it in your face.

OP here. The other betrayed spouse thanked me for telling them. They told me they were grateful for the information because they had noticed their spouse had been acting differently but denied and deflected. They told me they felt relieved that they now knew the truth.

I'm glad I told them. I hated keeping such an awful secret from another innocent person. They deserved to know what was happening in their marriage so they could make informed choices for themselves, their health, their marriage, etc.

still, all about you. Here’s your cape. You’re my hero.

Actually, they use the word they more than they use the word I.

I’m sorry that you can’t be a good person. I’m sorry about whatever happened to you in your childhood that brought you to this point in the world.

None of us need capes to be a normal, caring and compassionate human.

This is so f'd up. Counting the use of "I" vs "They" is your justification for insulting op? Crazy. Come clean. Were you the one who blew up your marriage? It's clear that it hurt you financially and messed up your fairytale life. Deal with that instead of attacking op.

I wonder what happened to her? Addiction? Childhood abuse?

It’s wild to see someone so delusional.

Honestly, what happened to you that you feel
The need to be so hyperbolic about anyone that has a differing opinion than you? The only person attacking anyone is you. No one has personally attacked the OP in the manner you’re attacking anyone that doesn’t agree with her tactic. You okay?

I'm not attacking you I'm bemusing what actually happened to you.

My friends who blew up their marriage were abused as a child, or had schizophasia, another was an alcoholic, another had PTSD.

Your writing is delusional and deranged not a coherent argument with another viewpoint.

Please look back on your own posts. You’re not providing coherent or constructive arguments, you’re just throwing around names and armchair diagnoses meant as slurs.

And, FWIW, you’re also responding to more than one person.

So are you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Congratulations on possibly destroying children’s lives with a bitter divorce that might not have otherwise happened if you didn’t feel the need to insert yourself into other’s lives.

This is worse than cheating. You are directly possibly causing trauma for kids that may not have happened otherwise. Marriage is about much more than sex.

People should mind their own business.

-never cheated

Triggered AP alert!

Not an AP. never cheated. I am divorced. I have a “good divorce” but when something like this happens, it causes bad divorces that might otherwise happen. That directly puts kids at risk. Just sex between adults does not do that. Acting like the morality police does involve kids. Bad divorces hurt kids. Cheating alone hurts adults. See the difference? Most affairs, according to research, never get discovered. Bringing that to light when it is not your own marriage is flat out selfish and wrong. I even heard Dr Phil agree about this.

You're quoting that nutjob Dr. Phil? No wonder you are so messed up.

No hon. It's best if the cheated on spouse knows. The truth is better. You are really messed up. What is your story because I can't believe you are posting that op is selfish for contacting the other spouse.

I’m a parent and I am divorced,
and I see how bad divorces can be if somebody cheats. there was no cheating in my marriage, but I would not have left if it was only cheating. I also would not want to know if there was cheating involved because that to me is not a reason to leave a marriage. There are plenty of other reasons that are worse. My kids have a “good” divorce, but many kids don’t and any adult who gets involved and makes it possible for kids to endure a bad divorce and have lifetime trauma is way worse than someone going outside their marriage for short-term sex. Sex is not the foundation of a marriage. The children and finances are.

Years long affairs are hardly short-term. Shame on you for shaming other women for leaving after being cheated on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A friend told me my first dh was cheating on me. She was privy to the information because my ex used her and her dh as his alibi. We were all friends. I was SO GRATEFUL to this woman for having the balls to call me and tell me something I had actually suspected. I was lied to and gaslit by my ex. My df did me a huge favor. Decades later I am still glad she told me. She said she did not want to be complicit in the lie.

But she was your friend. She told you out of concern for you, not for her own revenge or need to make things like pain equal. Their marriage was blown up, so in her mind, yours should too *because the sectet*. The secret is over already.

You don’t know that. Most of us that caught our friends husband cheating, and told them we’re just so glad to get that **** out of our lives.

And many women stay. It doesn’t make them weak or less. It makes them
Different than you.

Staying after infidelity is their choice. You know what isn't? Being lied to and gaslit and not having all the information. If I want to stay with my husband after he cheats on me, that is my choice, but at least I'm making it with ALL the information out in the open. I'd rather make that decision actually knowing what's going on.

It's clear that the other posters know they'd never leave even if their husbands cheated on them because they can't and they don't want anyone else to know that they're too weak to do anything about it.

It hurts so bad that he doesn't want you that you lash out at women you don't know. Sad.

My husband didn't cheat on me, so I don't know who you think you're talking to.

[Cue the "you don't know that/he probably did" comments]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Oh, please, OP, you no mother Theresa in this. You are a scorned woman.

The other spouse may not have not innocent. What if he's abusive, what if she's having a revenage affair?

Hurting back your DH is justified. But involving complete strangers and being the main character in this mess is not.

OP didn’t involve strangers, her DH opened that door. The other spouse was grateful because his cheating spouse has been short-tempered at home and gaslighting him, which is emotional abuse.

You have no moral compass and no backbone, clearly, and it is a travesty to all of us that you are raising kids who will similarly blameshift and won’t know right from wrong.

OP acted without regard for the feelings of the other spouse, only to make herself feel better. That the other spouse did not react badly has nothing to do with that fact, no matter how hard you and OP spin it afterwards.

Omg. You are seriously mentally ill.

DP. I think the PP had some sense, and your critique makes you sound like you can’t see more than one side to any issue.

The OP did the right thing, and is probably also a shameful vindictive person no matter what kind of happy spin she’s using to justify her morality.

No I think PP has some mental illness where she just can't fathom how the real world works.

OP did the right thing. Period. The rest is just your delusion.

You think it was the right thing. Not everyone agrees. The other spouse might have been one of those people. OP had no way of knowing which kind of person the other spouse is. OP did for herself without caring about the other person.

That’s the point. OP didn’t even care. She didn’t do it to save someone from a burning house. She did for herself. Even if it hurt an innocent party.

You can craft whatever kind of story you need to in your head, but OP said he was glad to know. So who cares what her motivation was - he is glad to know. Period. End of story. Don't choke on the sand while you're down there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Oh, please, OP, you no mother Theresa in this. You are a scorned woman.

The other spouse may not have not innocent. What if he's abusive, what if she's having a revenage affair?

Hurting back your DH is justified. But involving complete strangers and being the main character in this mess is not.

OP didn’t involve strangers, her DH opened that door. The other spouse was grateful because his cheating spouse has been short-tempered at home and gaslighting him, which is emotional abuse.

You have no moral compass and no backbone, clearly, and it is a travesty to all of us that you are raising kids who will similarly blameshift and won’t know right from wrong.

OP acted without regard for the feelings of the other spouse, only to make herself feel better. That the other spouse did not react badly has nothing to do with that fact, no matter how hard you and OP spin it afterwards.

Omg. You are seriously mentally ill.

DP. I think the PP had some sense, and your critique makes you sound like you can’t see more than one side to any issue.

The OP did the right thing, and is probably also a shameful vindictive person no matter what kind of happy spin she’s using to justify her morality.

No I think PP has some mental illness where she just can't fathom how the real world works.

OP did the right thing. Period. The rest is just your delusion.

You think it was the right thing. Not everyone agrees. The other spouse might have been one of those people. OP had no way of knowing which kind of person the other spouse is. OP did for herself without caring about the other person.

That’s the point. OP didn’t even care. She didn’t do it to save someone from a burning house. She did for herself. Even if it hurt an innocent party.

No that is not the point. The point is that you are making up fake scenarios in your head and arguing them like it's not some delusional fiction you created.

That is the thing about being delusional, you can't see it.

This