Full Name vs Nickname

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bumping this post to ask a generational question.

I am older and admit an aversion to nicknames. Deliberately gave my children names for which no nicknames could be created.

I have a new 20-something colleague who goes by a nickname although signature block has full name. Think Mandy versus Amanda. I want to tell her that she should use full name. I remember when I was her age and a colleague switched from Judy to Judith. I did not understand at the time but get it now.

To bolster my point, I have read that Jane Pauley was not taken seriously until she stopped using Janey and JLo has an album Jenny from the Block but is known professionally as Jennifer.

WDYT? Am I just a dinosaur? Only people over 30 notice or care?

My husband actually switched from the equivalent of Bobby to Bob when he switched firms more than ten years into his career, and I still don’t think you should tell this woman to do anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Peg and Peggy is Margaret and a lot of foreign born people don’t get it.

I find it amusing when people use completely fake names at work.

At one point I had three women working for me who used American nickname and maiden last name at work.

Meanwhile legally they took they’re husbands last name and had a real first name. And I had one that did opposite kept maiden name but used husbands last name.

One was a raging lunatic we had to fire.

I hope you realize how much you sound like a very pleasant... racist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bumping this post to ask a generational question.

I am older and admit an aversion to nicknames. Deliberately gave my children names for which no nicknames could be created.

I have a new 20-something colleague who goes by a nickname although signature block has full name. Think Mandy versus Amanda. I want to tell her that she should use full name. I remember when I was her age and a colleague switched from Judy to Judith. I did not understand at the time but get it now.

To bolster my point, I have read that Jane Pauley was not taken seriously until she stopped using Janey and JLo has an album Jenny from the Block but is known professionally as Jennifer.

WDYT? Am I just a dinosaur? Only people over 30 notice or care?

Interesting. My parents decided to name me Oliver and the older generation insists on calling me Ollie whether it's in my signature or not. It's actually kind of catchy and wish I had adopted it back in college.

[Anonymous]

I don't know why people have an aversion to nicknames. That's weird. Any person can get a nickname or go by their full name. I like names that give options.
Anyway, I have a name like Lorelai and a nickname like Lori. Lori has always been my nickname but only informally. My family calls me Lori. I only introduce myself as Lorelai but close friends pick up on the nickname eventually and that's how I know we've become close. I would never tell anyone to call me Lori but I love it when they do.

[Anonymous]

You people have weird hangups.

Yes, it's okay to use a nickname at work - and you don't have to explain yourself.

No, it's not okay to tell someone they have to use their formal name.

Just like with pronouns now, you ask what a person wants to be called and honor that! Jeez.

I am 51 if that matters!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bumping this post to ask a generational question.

I am older and admit an aversion to nicknames. Deliberately gave my children names for which no nicknames could be created.

I have a new 20-something colleague who goes by a nickname although signature block has full name. Think Mandy versus Amanda. I want to tell her that she should use full name. I remember when I was her age and a colleague switched from Judy to Judith. I did not understand at the time but get it now.

To bolster my point, I have read that Jane Pauley was not taken seriously until she stopped using Janey and JLo has an album Jenny from the Block but is known professionally as Jennifer.

WDYT? Am I just a dinosaur? Only people over 30 notice or care?

I am 57 and use my nickname probably 98% of the time. My brother is 64 and same with him. I know quite a few people in their 50's through 70's who almost exclusively use their nicknames.

I actually think that the most common age of people who are like you are recent college grads from their 20's to early 30's. These are people who want to go into the work world and be respected, and they feel that nicknames are ways that older people show less respect for them because of their youth. They feel that diminutive nicknames are condescending and demeaning, so they insist on being called their full name. I've known a few people like this who then carried it to the point of doing what you did, which is giving their children names for which there are no nicknames.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bumping this post to ask a generational question.

I am older and admit an aversion to nicknames. Deliberately gave my children names for which no nicknames could be created.

I have a new 20-something colleague who goes by a nickname although signature block has full name. Think Mandy versus Amanda. I want to tell her that she should use full name. I remember when I was her age and a colleague switched from Judy to Judith. I did not understand at the time but get it now.

To bolster my point, I have read that Jane Pauley was not taken seriously until she stopped using Janey and JLo has an album Jenny from the Block but is known professionally as Jennifer.

WDYT? Am I just a dinosaur? Only people over 30 notice or care?

I am 57 and use my nickname probably 98% of the time. My brother is 64 and same with him. I know quite a few people in their 50's through 70's who almost exclusively use their nicknames.

I actually think that the most common age of people who are like you are recent college grads from their 20's to early 30's. These are people who want to go into the work world and be respected, and they feel that nicknames are ways that older people show less respect for them because of their youth. They feel that diminutive nicknames are condescending and demeaning, so they insist on being called their full name. I've known a few people like this who then carried it to the point of doing what you did, which is giving their children names for which there are no nicknames.

That is a very astute observation. I don't fall into this category. It's unfortunate some feel that nicknames are condescending and demeaning (and may not admit that).

[Anonymous]

As a supervisor, I call whatever name is requested by the employee. What would I care otherwise?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My name is Elizabeth, I go by Elizabeth, sign all my emails as Elizabeth and yet half of the office calls me Liz, even after being corrected.

I hate that. People make a big deal about using correct pronouns, forms of address (e.g., Mx., Ms. vs. Miss, etc) but then surprisingly do the opposite when it comes to names. I have a colleague who likes to be called by and goes by his full name (Christopher), yet a lot of older folks (relative to him) call him "Chris" despite him saying otherwise. I'm not sure if it's a "power move" in their head or what, but it's really gross. It should be respected just as much as the other stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bumping this post to ask a generational question.

I am older and admit an aversion to nicknames. Deliberately gave my children names for which no nicknames could be created.

I have a new 20-something colleague who goes by a nickname although signature block has full name. Think Mandy versus Amanda. I want to tell her that she should use full name. I remember when I was her age and a colleague switched from Judy to Judith. I did not understand at the time but get it now.

To bolster my point, I have read that Jane Pauley was not taken seriously until she stopped using Janey and JLo has an album Jenny from the Block but is known professionally as Jennifer.

WDYT? Am I just a dinosaur? Only people over 30 notice or care?

You're a dino. I'm 47 and gave all my kids names that can be manipulated. Zack never introduces himself as Zachary even though that's what his diploma says and what his company's website says. I never even called him Zachary when I was angry at him. Alexandra goes by Ali with her friends and coworkers. Family calls her Alex. One of my friends full first name is Bambi. That's just ... her real first name. You'd take her more seriously than Zack? Just call people what they want to be called. You get to control what YOU are called.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This seems really weird? Is it only women?

I've never heard of using a different name at work v. home -- unless it's a different name in the sense that some groups just call you one thing and some another, or you have a name like... Fifi or Cookie or something at home.

I sort of have a different name at home. It’s more about when people met me / how much time they spend with my husband. Say as a kid I went by Debby and in college by Deborah. But my friends quickly shortened that to Deb, so I was Deborah on papers / in class but Deb to my college friends and Debby to my family / childhood friends. But then my husband (who I met in college but spent a lot of time around my family) started calling me Deb or Debby. So I introduce myself (both at work and outside of work) as Deborah, but if we hang out much you’ll hear my husband call me a shortened name. (Same is true if you meet my family, high school friends or college friends). So I don’t intentionally use a different name at work than at home but - because it doesn’t bother me if people choose to call me Deb or Debby - friends outside of work tend to be a mix of full name and nickname whereas at work it’s only my full name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This seems really weird? Is it only women?

I've never heard of using a different name at work v. home -- unless it's a different name in the sense that some groups just call you one thing and some another, or you have a name like... Fifi or Cookie or something at home.

My husband's nickname is Bobby. His father was also a Robert and it was a nickname that was hard to shake. He goes by Robert at work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bumping this post to ask a generational question.

I am older and admit an aversion to nicknames. Deliberately gave my children names for which no nicknames could be created.

I have a new 20-something colleague who goes by a nickname although signature block has full name. Think Mandy versus Amanda. I want to tell her that she should use full name. I remember when I was her age and a colleague switched from Judy to Judith. I did not understand at the time but get it now.

To bolster my point, I have read that Jane Pauley was not taken seriously until she stopped using Janey and JLo has an album Jenny from the Block but is known professionally as Jennifer.

WDYT? Am I just a dinosaur? Only people over 30 notice or care?

I think you have no business telling anyone what they should do about their own name.