Argue for or against this theory, if you have 2 children

[Anonymous]

Parents of tiny children (pregnant; toddler age) want one of each. Parents of older kids (elementary and up) prefer same sex siblings. Same for the siblings - each gender prefers its own.
I am confused by your statement? Can you clarify? So you think you are happy with your boy and a girl when they are toddlers, but once they start elementary and possibly bicker, you now change your mind and wish you had same sex kids? Or what do you mean exactly? If I have one boy and he is 7(just an example) and we are going for another one, you think I am hoping for another boy?

[Anonymous]

Mom of two ES kids. Always been thrilled I had one of each.
Not sure what they prefer - likely same sex but I think that would heighten competition.

[Anonymous]

Most of my experience is with elementary age kids. Same-sex siblings are almost always closer than opposite sex at this age. Not necessarily a good or a bad thing because of competition etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parents of tiny children (pregnant; toddler age) want one of each. Parents of older kids (elementary and up) prefer same sex siblings. Same for the siblings - each gender prefers its own.
I am confused by your statement? Can you clarify? So you think you are happy with your boy and a girl when they are toddlers, but once they start elementary and possibly bicker, you now change your mind and wish you had same sex kids? Or what do you mean exactly? If I have one boy and he is 7(just an example) and we are going for another one, you think I am hoping for another boy?

I think the idea being that opposite sex is great on paper but same sex is preferable in a practical sense.

[Anonymous]

Nope, always wanted two boys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This theory is stupid because no parent is going to start wishing their kid was a different sex when they get to elementary school.

I had no preference and was happy with what I got. Because what is the alternative?

Agree. Who decides after 8 years or so that they wish one of their kids was a different sex?

I have two boys who are mid to late elementary now. Sometimes it's nice that they are generally interested in the same things, but I'm not sure that's necessarily because they are both boys (I know plenty of 2-boy families where the two boys have totally different interests and hobbies). And sometimes it's annoying because they get too competitive. What can you do. I don't see how our life would be appreciably better, or different, if one of my kids was a girl.

[Anonymous]

There's always some relationship missing for someone.

I love having one of each. But I am a little sad my DD won't have a sister like I do. I have a brother too, but he doesn't have a brother (just two sisters). So I don't really feel sad my DS won't have a brother because it's not a relationship I saw growing up. My DH has a sister, not a brother.

So no matter what, there's *something* missing. But that's ok, because I love my kids and they are healthy and thriving and that's really the point of all this.

[Anonymous]

I am a woman and, before I had kids, imagined having a boy and a girl. My first was a boy and honestly I don't recall any sort of hoping for a "girl" after that. Because once you have a kid the reality of having a little person is so much more than whatever else you imagined. I had a second boy and was never disappointed, though my MIL, who has two boys, made a big show of "comforting" me. It was weird.

I will say that now that I have tween boys I do sometimes feel relief at not having a girl. The girl social relationship stuff I hear about sounds really tiresome and complicated. But I imagine moms of girls might think aspects of raising boys would be unpleasant. I'm probably just more comfortable with the boy stuff because that's what I know.

[Anonymous]

I wanted a healthy baby first and foremost and I would have loved and enjoyed any combination of two children that I had.

As it turns out, I had two boys. When I found out during the ultrasound that my second was a boy I was thrilled. And having two boys has been awesome. I don't ever, and I mean never, find myself wishing that I had had one or two girls instead. But if my boys had been girls instead or one of each, I think I would have been just as happy.

[Anonymous]

I have one 5 year old son. I was an only child and I didn't like being an only and wanted 2 kids. Sadly due to infertility we cannot have a second, we've been trying for 4 years already with no luck (5 failed IVFs). But I would have been happy with either gender for a second. I don't feel strongly either way.

[Anonymous]

Currently pregnant with #2. Have a 3 yr old daughter. I am hoping for another girl. We aren't finding out the sex so it will be a total surprise. I grew up with an older sister and we are super close, so that's what I want for my kids, but if it's a boy we'll be just as happy.

[Anonymous]

Pre-kids, I wanted one of each. Now that I have two boys, I still would have preferred to have one of each, but what done is done. I love my boys. Its not any easier having two of the same sex. They are nothing alike. They don't play the same sports or the same instruments or have similar interests in anything. The only thing that is easier is clothes. I save quite a bit on clothes because I can pass most clothes down from one to the other.

[Anonymous]

I love having same sex siblings. Sure, mind fight, but also get along very well and share a lot of interests. I don’t really think I ever thought too much about what I preferred for sex of my kids before I had them, and I’m sure I would also love opposite sex siblings. I think you sort of adjust to what you get, and hopefully really enjoy parenting them!

[Anonymous]

I'm another who is thrilled with 2 boys after thinking I wanted a girl. My boys are BEST buds, so amazing together, and although I'm sure I would have liked a girl too, I do think that same sex siblings tend OVERALL to have a tighter bond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mom of two ES kids. Always been thrilled I had one of each.
Not sure what they prefer - likely same sex but I think that would heighten competition.

+1