Ma’am

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Fascinating.

So are words like "thank you" and "please" equally superfluous in a "polite conversation", as you'd call it?

We're obviously from very different places, and northern culture absolutely mystifies me sometimes for its complete lack of civility. Buy y'all don't even realize you're doing it.... bless your hearts.

I think it's polite to call people what they want to be called. Many people don't like to be called ma'am. Doesn't really matter why.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Fascinating.

So are words like "thank you" and "please" equally superfluous in a "polite conversation", as you'd call it?

We're obviously from very different places, and northern culture absolutely mystifies me sometimes for its complete lack of civility. Buy y'all don't even realize you're doing it.... bless your hearts.

I think it's polite to call people what they want to be called. Many people don't like to be called ma'am. Doesn't really matter why.

And many women don't mind it at all. I'm not going to ask first. It's entirely said out of respect and kindness.

[Anonymous]

I just got a new Neighbor and I’m always nervous about it because we share a wall. I met him and he called me ma’am. I’m 35 he’s probably 10 years younger. I immediately thought “whew! A polite neighbor”. Because ma’am is polite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really dislike it, but I know for some friends it's a cultural habit and I try to be accepting.

I'm sure those who call you "ma'am" don't really mean it either, but they're at least trying to make you feel better about being who you are. You know, to help you accept it.

Ha! You've got that southern passive aggressive down pat-all ypu're missing is the bless your heart. I accept it from nice people, as I hope they'll accept me when they know I'm trying to be nice but accidentally bothering them. To people like you, who are being fake, I go full yankee with the middle finger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you get a call from your DC’s school teacher and she says “ma’am”...that raises questions

What questions?

You are reading too far into this.

If I were a teacher I would say “Mrs. X” or just say the name of the parent.

[Anonymous]

Good lord, what is wrong with ma’am?

It’s a polite honorific. Why are you making a big deal out of it?

If you have a problem with it then it says more about you than the word.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you get a call from your DC’s school teacher and she says “ma’am”...that raises questions

What questions?

You are reading too far into this.

If I were a teacher I would say “Mrs. X” or just say the name of the parent.

Mrs. implies you are married and took your husband's name. That's not a safe assumption. There is nothing wrong with Ma'am.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Fascinating.

So are words like "thank you" and "please" equally superfluous in a "polite conversation", as you'd call it?

We're obviously from very different places, and northern culture absolutely mystifies me sometimes for its complete lack of civility. Buy y'all don't even realize you're doing it.... bless your hearts.

I think it's polite to call people what they want to be called. Many people don't like to be called ma'am. Doesn't really matter why.

And many women don't mind it at all. I'm not going to ask first. It's entirely said out of respect and kindness.

I think it's fine to assume Ma'am is ok. I personally hate it and I asked the guard at my job to stop using it. He argued with me. I introduced myself and told him that he's welcome to use my name. I also said it's fine if he can't remember my name but he could just say have a nice day or even nothing at all. He argued and argued that he was being respectful by calling me something I don't like. Not the first time I've encountered this type of thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you get a call from your DC’s school teacher and she says “ma’am”...that raises questions

What questions?

You are reading too far into this.

If I were a teacher I would say “Mrs. X” or just say the name of the parent.

Mrs. implies you are married and took your husband's name. That's not a safe assumption. There is nothing wrong with Ma'am.

Ms. works.

Are you a man, I wonder? Why keep insisting there's nothing wrong with it when you are reading that many people don't like it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is it exasperating?

Because it tells they don’t do the minimal effort to call you by your name. It shows disrespect.

This is the first time I've ever heard that "ma'am" shows disrespect.

+1. It's polite.

[Anonymous]

I love to be called Ma'am. For me this is as respectful as someone can be to me in address.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you get a call from your DC’s school teacher and she says “ma’am”...that raises questions

What questions?

You are reading too far into this.

If I were a teacher I would say “Mrs. X” or just say the name of the parent.

Mrs. implies you are married and took your husband's name. That's not a safe assumption. There is nothing wrong with Ma'am.

Ms. works.

Are you a man, I wonder? Why keep insisting there's nothing wrong with it when you are reading that many people don't like it.

I'm a woman, and you are also reading (from multiple posters) that many women don't mind it, or view it as respectful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really dislike it, but I know for some friends it's a cultural habit and I try to be accepting.

I'm sure those who call you "ma'am" don't really mean it either, but they're at least trying to make you feel better about being who you are. You know, to help you accept it.

Ha! You've got that southern passive aggressive down pat-all ypu're missing is the bless your heart. I accept it from nice people, as I hope they'll accept me when they know I'm trying to be nice but accidentally bothering them. To people like you, who are being fake, I go full yankee with the middle finger.

You stay classy, darlin'.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good lord, what is wrong with ma’am?

It’s a polite honorific. Why are you making a big deal out of it?

If you have a problem with it then it says more about you than the word.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love to be called Ma'am. For me this is as respectful as someone can be to me in address.

Kind of a turn-on, if he's cute and younger !