So Mad at Ex Right Now

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that she will be fine and that it will probably be a wonderful experience for her.

I also think that your ex should have discussed this with you proactively. This should not be something that you "just learn." It should be something that the three of you discuss as a group, including ground rules, safety tips, and contingency plans.

Unless things are so acrimonious that they can't.

I can see Ex suspecting this would be the reaction, and deciding to just get the kid to Poland and run with it.

Right? Agreed.

[Anonymous]

I think the actual reason you're upset is that you have lost all control over her. This is the very end of ever being able to tell her where she can go and who she can see. She can now go anywhere she'd like and talk to anyone she'd like. If you keep treating her like a child, she is going to choose to live as far away from you as possible. Give her as much freedom as you can. Let her learn how to judge a person's character on her own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the actual reason you're upset is that you have lost all control over her. This is the very end of ever being able to tell her where she can go and who she can see. She can now go anywhere she'd like and talk to anyone she'd like. If you keep treating her like a child, she is going to choose to live as far away from you as possible. Give her as much freedom as you can. Let her learn how to judge a person's character on her own.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The world has never been safe but it's obvious to me that so many posting on here are either unaware, or indifferent, to the rampant human trafficking that is going on.

No matter how responsible and intelligent a 17 year old 'young woman' is she lacks the practical experience of someone 10+ years older and is absolutely more vulnerable to those who would do her harm.

OMG you are kidding me. You think a middle-class american 17 year old with a job and staying with her dad for the summer in Warsaw is at risk of being trafficked? Get a grip, PP.

I bet this PP also talks about the threat of "white slavery" a lot too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He has our daughter for the summer. I just learned he basically gave her a bus pass and turned her loose on the streets of Warsaw, Poland. He says she's 17 and she'll be fine. It worries me sick that she'll get into trouble of some sort. He says she old enough and responsible enough to get out on her own. I have no idea where or who she's with, what she's up to. He refuses to understand she is still a child.

Why don't you know what she's up to. Call her, make a plan to check in and everything is ok. No a 17 year old girl taking the bus and on the streets can easily be a victim of crime. They still have poor judgement at that age, in a foreign country can let their guard down. Your ex'es explanation translates he doesn't want to be bothered much and she's pretty much on her own.

Remember Natalie Holloway? They had chaperones who were more interested in going on a free trip then watching the kids.

Natalie Holloway was drunk off her ass and the victim of a serial killer. It's not likely that OP's daughter is going to run into a serial killer, and I would expect her to follow the rules on alcohol (whatever they are for her family.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, Warsaw is a real hell hole.

So beautiful. I wish I was 17 in a place like that. She's lucky to have a father who lives there.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand what you mean when you say he "turned her loose". Where is she living? Why don't you know where she is or who she's with? Does she not have a phone or computer?

[Anonymous]

I flew halfway across the world alone at the age of 14. I'm so glad my dad trusted my capabilities, and encouraged me to step away from the leash.

Your ex doesn't sound like the irresponsible jerk you're psyching yourself up for him to be, OP. He sound pretty awesome, actually. And good for your daughter!

[Anonymous]

Why don't you compromise and ask for a short text at the end of each day, and maybe a phone call at the end of each week. If you call up daily and act hysterical and angry they're both going to start blocking your calls. He is treating her like she's 17 years old. You no longer get to decide who her friends are.

[Anonymous]

Does she speak Polish?

[Anonymous]

OP, your child could stay right here in the US this summer instead. As recent news has demonstrated, said child could then be:
gunned down
eaten by an alligator
killed in a car accident driving with her friends

That you think she is in more danger in a major metropolitan European city because "rampant human trafficing" is absurd.
It's not that we are "unaware" or "indifferent." It's that we are living in reality, and have a healthy sense of accepatable risk. (Accepatble=deciding not to hide under your bed all day.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does she speak Polish?

I bet she will by the end of the summer. All the more reason to make sure she goes out as often as possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The world has never been safe but it's obvious to me that so many posting on here are either unaware, or indifferent, to the rampant human trafficking that is going on.

No matter how responsible and intelligent a 17 year old 'young woman' is she lacks the practical experience of someone 10+ years older and is absolutely more vulnerable to those who would do her harm.

OMG you are kidding me. You think a middle-class american 17 year old with a job and staying with her dad for the summer in Warsaw is at risk of being trafficked? Get a grip, PP.

OMG np here but honestly what the first poster wrote is correct.

there is no blanket statement that can be applied to all 17 yr olds. Some 17 yr olds could handle this, some can't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, your child could stay right here in the US this summer instead. As recent news has demonstrated, said child could then be:
gunned down
eaten by an alligator
killed in a car accident driving with her friends

That you think she is in more danger in a major metropolitan European city because "rampant human trafficing" is absurd.
It's not that we are "unaware" or "indifferent." It's that we are living in reality, and have a healthy sense of accepatable risk. (Accepatble=deciding not to hide under your bed all day.)

Poland has very strict gun control and absolutely zero alligators in the wild. She has a bus pass so a car accident is unlikely as well. She's far safer over there than she is over here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The world has never been safe but it's obvious to me that so many posting on here are either unaware, or indifferent, to the rampant human trafficking that is going on.

No matter how responsible and intelligent a 17 year old 'young woman' is she lacks the practical experience of someone 10+ years older and is absolutely more vulnerable to those who would do her harm.

OMG you are kidding me. You think a middle-class american 17 year old with a job and staying with her dad for the summer in Warsaw is at risk of being trafficked? Get a grip, PP.

OMG np here but honestly what the first poster wrote is correct.

there is no blanket statement that can be applied to all 17 yr olds. Some 17 yr olds could handle this, some can't.

Everyone has to grow up sometime, and this is going to be a grand summer for this girl. So lucky.