An Open House Plea: Keep Your Questions Limited!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My favorite pretentious question (coincidentally, from a dad):

"Your grounds are beautiful. Do you offer equestrian opportunities?"

hahaha. That is hilarious!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here--By 'out of place' dads I did mean the ones who got dragged there by their over anxious dw who were trying to impress school by showing they are a 'together' 'teamed' 'involved in everything to do w/dc' family. Poor guys. Their questions are even more 'out of place', and waste everyone's time. We want to get into those classrooms and see the happy kids at work and play with smiling, interactive teachers, right?

Did you ever think maybe they actually are involved? In my family, we actually are a team. We both work full-time, we both make school decisions, and we didn't apply to one school that spent the whole time ignoring my DH and talking about all the opportunities for mothers to volunteer at the school.

My DH has many faults, believe me (as do we all). But being a checked out Dad who adds nothing to the equation is not one of them.

I understand this post isn't about me or our family. The hostility towards men, however, is ridiculous.

I personally find the moms are the more annoying ones, like the ones who ask, "But what about my son with a summer birthday?" to every presenter - head of school, admissions director, etc. Surprised that mom didn't ask the music teacher for his view, too.

[Anonymous]

I agree, moms can be equally bad. And competitive in a steely-eyed way....

[Anonymous]

I went to an open house earlier this month and a DH asked the pannel of middle school and upper school children after they shared thier wonderful experiences at the school "So what don't you like about this school?" The admissions directors facial expression was as though she had just been hit by a truck. She even tried to change his question around to sound different. He then said that is not what I asked I asked what you don't like about this school. The children did share thier insights on that question though. What category what that DH be in? THe one who wants to see where exactly his money is going towards. LOL!!

[Anonymous]

Actually, I wish I had been in his tour group. And then I could have listened to the answers without being the one who asked this question!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to an open house earlier this month and a DH asked the pannel of middle school and upper school children after they shared thier wonderful experiences at the school "So what don't you like about this school?" The admissions directors facial expression was as though she had just been hit by a truck. She even tried to change his question around to sound different. He then said that is not what I asked I asked what you don't like about this school. The children did share thier insights on that question though. What category what that DH be in? THe one who wants to see where exactly his money is going towards. LOL!!

I actually think that's not a bad question, although the approach should have been more gentle especially if he's asking the children directly. So much of what I hear from schools is pre-packaged happy-talk that it's nice to hear about a question that actually might force them to respond with something real. If the Admissions people gave a good honest answer to that question, I'd probably think more highly of the school. Most of the milk-toast questions I hear from parents are pointless, since they seem designed to be harmless softballs that won't upset the Admissions people and are just weak vehicles to show that the parents are interested enough to ask questions.

[Anonymous]

Instead he yawns, checks his blackberry and rolls his eyes. I'm worried that he may hurt our chances --maybe I should leave him at home. I was trying to get him interested, but I guess the admissions people would rather a solo mom than a mom with an asshole dad....

Seriously, I'm wondering this myself: which is worse?

I know though that if I do keep him away, AND we happen to be admitted, DH is going to respond with 'no way are we paying $28K a year so DC can color pictures.' Which he'd be less inclined to believe if, say, he saw 6th graders doing math during a tour.

[Anonymous]

I think DH is going to have to join you for the parent interview. So you'll have to get him on board sooner rather than later....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My favorite pretentious question (coincidentally, from a dad):

"Your grounds are beautiful. Do you offer equestrian opportunities?"

hahaha. That is hilarious!

LOVE it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here--By 'out of place' dads I did mean the ones who got dragged there by their over anxious dw who were trying to impress school by showing they are a 'together' 'teamed' 'involved in everything to do w/dc' family. Poor guys. Their questions are even more 'out of place', and waste everyone's time. We want to get into those classrooms and see the happy kids at work and play with smiling, interactive teachers, right?

Did you ever think maybe they actually are involved? In my family, we actually are a team. We both work full-time, we both make school decisions, and we didn't apply to one school that spent the whole time ignoring my DH and talking about all the opportunities for mothers to volunteer at the school.

My DH has many faults, believe me (as do we all). But being a checked out Dad who adds nothing to the equation is not one of them.

I understand this post isn't about me or our family. The hostility towards men, however, is ridiculous.

I personally find the moms are the more annoying ones, like the ones who ask, "But what about my son with a summer birthday?" to every presenter - head of school, admissions director, etc. Surprised that mom didn't ask the music teacher for his view, too.

Some Dads are involved. Some are not--usually the ones who Blackberry away during the presentations and then ask irrelevant questions. Why would you assume that the PP's comment was aimed at all fathers?

[Anonymous]

I gotta chime in that my DH is actually very involved and that he actually was responsible for contacting the schools and setting up the tours. We both attend and ask questions as we are both interested. I have to give him credit. I'm sure many will flame that I'm horrible for not doing it myself, but we both work and we do work as a team when it comes to our family responsibility.

[Anonymous]

PP, no flames. It's just rare that dad actually is so involved that he knows the schools inside out, and read boards like this and talk to other parents to get inside info. If your dh does that, your job is made easier

[Anonymous]

This has to be one of the funniest threads,... seemed to happen by accident.

[Anonymous]

Attended a tour where it was obvious the dad was sent by wife who couldn't make it or had gone and wanted to prove to dad that school was worth the $$$$. Anyway, Dad went on and on and on and monopolized questions and conversations. He asked the tour guide to take us to areas of the school she planned not to, and well...OP I see your point!