Sister does not understand the impact of her dogs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you got the raw end of the deal as far as reciprocity for childcare but feeling like you've thousands because of it is just weird.

Also, why doesn't she watch your kids at your house?

It is just odd, visiting and staying out in the driveway.
It is not so much the money, as much as it is the parade of strangers coming through our house to babysit.
Also, she will not come to my house to babysit, which is understandable since it can be a whole day affair.

First of all, it is the money, because that is what you initially mentioned, how you are spending thousands in childcare.

Second, what kind of childcare are you doing that has a "parade of strangers" in your house. Have you not heard of daycare? If you're talking about a Saturday night date night, well, seriously, how many do you do to be spending thousands and having a parade of strangers?

[Anonymous]

With that type of dog if it bites a human it needs to be put down immediately

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of you who are complaining, did you ever stop to think that maybe the reason these people got the dogs was so they wouldn't have to deal with your kids? You all act like you should be entitled to take your annoying kids anywhere you like. Getting a dog was the best thing that happened to us because a family member stopped bringing her kids over for us to watch EVERY CHANCE SHE GOT. You chose to have kids now deal with the responsibility.

+1

I have a friend who has a couple of out of control kids. Every time they come over, they get into stuff. My friend is very against structure and discipline, so I have to tell them to stop before they break something (and they have broken things). And yet her husband has the nerve to complain about our dogs. Um, dude, don't bring your kids here and we'll all be happy. The only problem is that they like to bring their kids for everything. So it's impossible to spend time with them w/o the kids.

I get really irritated when people with kids complain about people with dogs, saying that it "displaces" them because suddenly there is one place they can't bring their ill-behaved children. suck it up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of you who are complaining, did you ever stop to think that maybe the reason these people got the dogs was so they wouldn't have to deal with your kids? You all act like you should be entitled to take your annoying kids anywhere you like. Getting a dog was the best thing that happened to us because a family member stopped bringing her kids over for us to watch EVERY CHANCE SHE GOT. You chose to have kids now deal with the responsibility.

+1

I have a friend who has a couple of out of control kids. Every time they come over, they get into stuff. My friend is very against structure and discipline, so I have to tell them to stop before they break something (and they have broken things). And yet her husband has the nerve to complain about our dogs. Um, dude, don't bring your kids here and we'll all be happy. The only problem is that they like to bring their kids for everything. So it's impossible to spend time with them w/o the kids.

I get really irritated when people with kids complain about people with dogs, saying that it "displaces" them because suddenly there is one place they can't bring their ill-behaved children. suck it up.

The reality is that there are terrible dog owners who cannot control their dogs, and bad parents who cannot control their kids, but don't generalize your experience, listen to the OP's!

I am the PP who mentioned feeling "displaced". My children are calm and well-behaved (it's their personalities more than something I did!). They do not set the dog off, do not run or scream or break things. The dog in question is confused because of its owners, and has received mixed signals of who is really in charge in the household. It periodically drags my friend into the street instead of walking sedately on the sidewalk, jumps on people, swipes food off the table from the plates and barks incessantly. It's incredible to me how such rational people like my friends can have such a huge blind spot where their dog is concerned.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I am sorry that the focus was on my kids. It goes to show that on DCUM there are people who read between the lines more than needed.
FWIW, my kids get great comments from teachers about their behavior, but TO ME, they never listen...just like the opinion that many parents have about their kids. With my own personal experience with aggressive dogs (doberman), it is not a good idea to have energetic kids around, plus the dog has bitten (would you have your kids around a pit that has bitten?).
Anyway, sister wants to be a second mom to my kids and thinks that I am too fussy about the dog issue, however, she has had moments when she nervously scoots it away and has threatened to take it to the pound because she is sick of it. Boyfriend also wants to get rid of it, but her teens are attached.
I have taken care of her kids and paid for some of their tuition and so on.
I believe that in hindsight she would not have taken on that dog.

[Anonymous]

Also, there is nothing unreasonable for families to rally together to cut costs in all areas, not just childcare.

[Anonymous]

When I offer to babysit for friends and family, it's because I see myself as part of the "village" and want to pitch in. I'm not expecting to be paid back. Maybe it would have been different if I gave him hours at work to care for a nephew but if it's just pitching in here & there when you're available, then that's just what family does regardless of whether your family members will be in a position to return the favor one day.

[Anonymous]

The problem isn't the dogs, OP. Stay away from them and they can't bother you. No problem.

The problem is that you have expectations of your sister babysitting and she apparently isn't interested in that arrangement.

So, make other arrangements and hire your babysitters. Problem solved.