Tottering on the precipice -- advice?

OP said she was asked if she was her child's grandmother. Page 2 of this thread.

If OP is a single / divorced / widowed mom, she won't have a spouse to help pick up the slack. She hasn't commented on the presence or absence of a partner yet.

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01/05/2013 18:14

Subject: Tottering on the precipice -- advice?

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:

5) And finally - this is the MOST IMPORTANT thing anyone in your situation can do. This is what is going to land you the right job. Finding a job is a lot like dating and finding someone to marry. No girl likes a desperate guy who is willing to do anything to get her attention. No matter how cute he is, a hanger-onner is a total turn off. So DO NOT ACT DESPERATE. Employers can smell it a mile away and it is a really unattractive trait. They dont want to hire someone who needs a job, they want to hire someone who could take it or leave it. Someone who is still employed. And someone who is NOT depressed. You have got to pick up your moral mister. Pick yourself up. put a smile on your face, go for a run, start working out, spruce up your wardrobe and convince yourself that you are the best candidate and its the employers loss if they dont hire you. never give up, tomorrow could be the day. the minute you give up, you've lost the race.

I agree with this. Even if you lose the job and are unemployed, develop a business plan as if you were going to start your own business. Heck, just start your own business! Then in the interviews for a salaried job, you can then talk about why having your own business made you want to get back into the salaried world. Don't just act like you aren't desperate, do something to make yourself not desperate. Work somewhere even if it's temporary.

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01/05/2013 18:18

Subject: Tottering on the precipice -- advice?

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Anonymous

can you try to network at alumni events? there are a ton of ivy events around here.

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01/16/2013 21:25

Subject: Tottering on the precipice -- advice?

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Anonymous

OP back again. Yes the rumors were right. There have been layoffs, and it's only halfway through January. Whispers are that there are more to come. I have a few more leads that look promising, so am not feeling so depressed. Plus my division was told we're "important" to the company and don't have to fear for our jobs! I don't believe it, but I no longer start every single day worrying it's going to be my last day of employment.

I think every day about not appearing desperate. That's exactly how I feel, so it's going to be a great acting job during these next few months to get through a lot of interviews acting as though I haven't a care in the world!

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01/18/2013 12:07

Subject: Tottering on the precipice -- advice?

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Anonymous

"I will also say you may have to be prepared to take a pay cut. If your lifestyle won't allow for it, you need to take control of expenses now. "

I was laid off years ago from middle management & the above advice is very good. One of the first things I did was cut back on expenses - started researching cheaper auto/homeowners insurance, refinanced the house to a lower rate & sliced a few years off the mortgage at the same time. Negotiated lower plans for cell/internet, shopped smarter at the grocery,every little bit helps.

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01/22/2013 11:09

Subject: Re:Tottering on the precipice -- advice?

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Anonymous

I find it interesting that people assumed OP was male because she's sole breadwinner. Things are changing my friends!

anyway, OP, a couple thoughts.

1) you can use natural hair dyes (Aveda salons, for example). A great cut, some polished clothes and some confidence will help. Some industries are more 'age sensitive' than others. Government tends not to be, but you need inside contacts for those jobs. Just someone to pull your resume from the pile.

2) definitely figure out how you can cut expenses. Do you have kids in private school? special needs? medical expenses? huge Mortgage? figure out what the biggest stressor is and figure out what salary you can all live on without serious consequences (which is not to say there isn't a big lifestyle change involved). This way you can focus in on possible jobs that will fit the bill, even if it is a pay cut (also, if you are switching industries, you may start lower, but end up higher).

3) Your industry is shrinking. So, who are the people formerly in your industry who have made a successful transition? Seek them out and figure out what they did and how they did it and figure out what you need to do now to get there. This is what DH did, he was in a cratering industry and he was late 40s when he bolted. Took a few years of crappy jobs before he landed somewhere great (now in government). He never made a lot of money in his previous industry so a pay cut wasn't an issue (makes more now in his new job). But the key thing for him was figuring out how he could make his experience and skills valuable in another industry. It didn't happen right away and he definitely networked and expanded his skills and was flexible. Also, he really tried to make it clear when he interviewed that he was not in fear of losing his job (which he was) but that he really was ready for a new challenge in a new role.

4) do some yoga or something to keep your mind calm and clear--when we let fear take over us it makes everything more difficult.