work comment I didn't know how to handle..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't see what the problem is.

You all were discussing work issues, right? Her comment was about a work issue. I would have said something along the lines of what you did, but I wouldn't have put my head down afterwards.

Are people really this uncomfortable at the mere mention of race? Of course I don't know whether your co-worker's claim was true or not, but it's certainly something that happens, just like age and sex discrimination happen. You can even see it in the reactions of commenters here. Your co-worker has an attitude problem, is angry, is someone you need to be careful around, and unprofessional- all because she mentioned a work issue while you all were discussing work issues.

Racism, sexism the like happen because people don't say something. In my office a racist comment even a joke will get you fired on the spot. Something more passive would not be tolerated. But management cannot know of the problem unless you tell them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a business owner and I am going to disagree with almost everyone on here. Her words are hostile on the basis race. You need to report it.

I don't know about it being hostile but perhaps racist. Imagine if a white person said that to a black person. Whitey would be in BIG trouble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't see what the problem is.

You all were discussing work issues, right? Her comment was about a work issue. I would have said something along the lines of what you did, but I wouldn't have put my head down afterwards.

Are people really this uncomfortable at the mere mention of race? Of course I don't know whether your co-worker's claim was true or not, but it's certainly something that happens, just like age and sex discrimination happen. You can even see it in the reactions of commenters here. Your co-worker has an attitude problem, is angry, is someone you need to be careful around, and unprofessional- all because she mentioned a work issue while you all were discussing work issues.

Racism, sexism the like happen because people don't say something. In my office a racist comment even a joke will get you fired on the spot. Something more passive would not be tolerated. But management cannot know of the problem unless you tell them.

Racism and sexism happen because people don't say something?

[Anonymous]

This is bull shit, Obama is president racism is gone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a business owner and I am going to disagree with almost everyone on here. Her words are hostile on the basis race. You need to report it.

I don't know about it being hostile but perhaps racist. Imagine if a white person said that to a black person. Whitey would be in BIG trouble.

They were all complaining about work. I guess I'm not seeing the hostility. If I were standing around complaining instead of working with other coworkers, I wouldn't view it as hostile if a male cowoker (for example) mentioned that he had been passed over for several promotions, but I need not worry because I'm a woman and women are more likely to be promoted at that particular office.

Many of the respondents to this thread seem like overly-sensitive whiners themselves. I guess only certain work-related complaints are okay?

[Anonymous]

This thread just illustrates how impossible it is to report discrimination on the basis of race.

I agree that she couldve kept her comment to herself, but maybe she felt comfortable enough with OP to be honest or maybe it was just a bad day. Do you know how many un-PC comments you will hear?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a business owner and I am going to disagree with almost everyone on here. Her words are hostile on the basis race. You need to report it.

I don't know about it being hostile but perhaps racist. Imagine if a white person said that to a black person. Whitey would be in BIG trouble.

They were all complaining about work. I guess I'm not seeing the hostility. If I were standing around complaining instead of working with other coworkers, I wouldn't view it as hostile if a male cowoker (for example) mentioned that he had been passed over for several promotions, but I need not worry because I'm a woman and women are more likely to be promoted at that particular office.

Many of the respondents to this thread seem like overly-sensitive whiners themselves. I guess only certain work-related complaints are okay?

What if a male coworker implied that you got the job because you are woman?

[Anonymous]

^Well, that's not the situation that occurred in the OP, is it?

That would be a different situation. If that's what had been implied by the OP's coworker but in terms of race, I'd agree that's hostile.

But that's not what happened. All I take away from the OP is a group of workers (including the OP) complaining instead of working.

[Anonymous]

Angry white woman here. Angry because only men get promoted in my department. Women get "mommy tracked," given unchallenging assignments, and not taken seriously or mentored for promotion. I probably WOULD say something about that to a new male employee because 1. I don't give a f***, 2. It's true and 3. Sunshine is the best disinfectant. The more we talk about this kind of thing the closer we get to doing something about it. Discrimination (including unconcious discrimination) against women and minorities SHOULD make men and white people feel uncomfortable.

I don't care if I say something "unprofessional" or appear to have a "chip on my shoulder" because my goose is already cooked. Nothing I say or do will change my career arc at my current job. No woman has made partner in my department since the '90s.

So I guess I'm surprised that so many PPs are piling on against the black woman in PP's post. Haven't some of us ever felt the same way re our gender? Why are we so scared to talk about it? Why put someone down for speaking out?

[Anonymous]

The ones who say "don't engage" have it right. You don't really know the story. She may be right. She may also be like a coworker I had at a previous federal job who used to complain that her boss picked on her because of her race. She accused her boss, who was also a black female, of singling her out because of the shared race, some kind of compensation, or some other psychological issue.

What the coworker never mentioned to me was that she was always late, her work was incredibly sloppy, and she mouthed off at any possible opportunity. This I didn't need any one to tell me, as I quickly figured this out all by myself as I worked with her. Other black females were doing very well at the office and were getting promoted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Welcome to the Federal government.

You do nothing; you just ignore comments like that.

+1 Every Federal office has an older, angry woman.

PP here. No, she isn't the oldest. She is, in fact, one of the youngest. But very angry.

Black woman with attitude. Such a cliche.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Angry white woman here. Angry because only men get promoted in my department. Women get "mommy tracked," given unchallenging assignments, and not taken seriously or mentored for promotion. I probably WOULD say something about that to a new male employee because 1. I don't give a f***, 2. It's true and 3. Sunshine is the best disinfectant. The more we talk about this kind of thing the closer we get to doing something about it. Discrimination (including unconcious discrimination) against women and minorities SHOULD make men and white people feel uncomfortable.

I don't care if I say something "unprofessional" or appear to have a "chip on my shoulder" because my goose is already cooked. Nothing I say or do will change my career arc at my current job. No woman has made partner in my department since the '90s.

So I guess I'm surprised that so many PPs are piling on against the black woman in PP's post. Haven't some of us ever felt the same way re our gender? Why are we so scared to talk about it? Why put someone down for speaking out?

As a woman who has experienced repeated discrimination in my career, I totally appreciate these feelings and the feelings of other posters who express a similar response. I think my main concern with the co-workers statement is that I find that it sets both parties on opposite sides, rather than establishing an alliance, and I think alliances are what we need to end this crap. While it's true that a majority of white people enjoy social privilege -- the homeless come to mind as not so privileged -- a lot of people of both genders and all colors despise those unfair constructs and seek to change them. And some people that you would think would not be racist or sexist, are. So, I think we do need to be careful about when and how and to whom we talk about these things and not assume that someone who looks like/doesn't look like us is "on our team."

Which brings me to my next point, what I heard in that co-workers comment was a rejection and an immediate expectation that the OP would be "them" and the co-worker was "us." (I think that might be why some pps have seen it as hostile.) Further, it sets the OP up to be defensive. So, you immediately start the relationship as members of different tribes. I understand the experience that might lead someone to feel that way, but how is it helpful? And for those of you who say "that's reality," I don't dispute that. But we have been calling each other names and carving out our corners for so darn long on this sh*t. It's gotten us nowhere. I think we all need to focus on what we have in common and cut each other more than a little slack. That includes the OP, who I think would be mistaken to avoid this co-worker as others have encouraged her to do, and those of us who have experienced discrimination. I know that when you live with it daily (as I do in my job) it can get frustrating and really old and one tends to not have a lot of energy to forgive and explain yet again. But in my heart I believe that the ultimate solution to discrimination and bias is sunshine mixed with a lot of goodwill. MLK said that in the end, love always wins. It is our generation's challenge to make sure that happens.

[Anonymous]

Comments about race are inappropriate. You should report her, especially since it made you uncomfortable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:stay clear of her. The irony is that only the federal government would hire such an idiot, she's lucky to be employed

I've worked in the federal government for years. You see idiots all the time of both races. I do recall telling some of my afro american co workers that the food they were eating smelled good and asked where they got it? I was just trying to be friendly. I was told by one afro woman "We got it in a neighborhood you don't want to be seen in" (Meaning because I am white). I just walked away. What if I said "My husband and I had dinner at x and x country club in McClean last night" when asked. And then said to a afro person "not a neighborhood you want to be found in". Wouldn't go over too well.

I get sick of the whole thing. Just try to treat all with respect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:stay clear of her. The irony is that only the federal government would hire such an idiot, she's lucky to be employed

I've worked in the federal government for years. You see idiots all the time of both races. I do recall telling some of my afro american co workers that the food they were eating smelled good and asked where they got it? I was just trying to be friendly. I was told by one afro woman "We got it in a neighborhood you don't want to be seen in" (Meaning because I am white). I just walked away. What if I said "My husband and I had dinner at x and x country club in McClean last night" when asked. And then said to a afro person "not a neighborhood you want to be found in". Wouldn't go over too well.

I get sick of the whole thing. Just try to treat all with respect.

She could've just meant that the neighborhood was dangerous. Not you as a "white" person, but you as a person in general (who values your safety).

BTW, it's African American.