Is this a Southern thing?

[Anonymous]

Jon Benet Ramsey lived in Boulder, Colorado. My friends lived in her neighborhood. Don't know where you got your information about her being from Alabama. Her mother was from West Virginia, which, by the way, is ABOVE the Mason Dixon line and not considered the South.

From Wikipedia entry on Jon Benet (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/JonBen%C3%A9t_Ramsey)

JonBenét Patricia Ramsey (August 6, 1990 – December 26, 1996) was an American girl and child beauty pageant contestant made famous by her Christmastime murder and the subsequent media coverage. She was found dead in the basement of her parents' home in Boulder, Colorado nearly eight hours after she was reported missing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This whole thread is so freaking obnoxious. I saw the title and clicked and was expecting such topics as:

- People in the South are friendly. They always wave.
- People in the South seem to truly care about my family. They stop and ask about my kids.
- People in the South have a more laid back lifestyle than in the Northeast.
- People in the South seem to be more interested in life than work.
- People in the South are less focused on how much money they make and more on the quality of their friendships.

I have seen as many pageants in other parts of the country as I have in the South. Jon Benet, for your information, was from COLORADO, which is NOT in the South. There is a REASON why so many people are moving to the South. Good quality of life, less stressful lifestyle, friendlier neighborhoods, friendly people, better weather.

You don't have to join cheerleading if you are a girl in the South and you don't have to join football if you are a boy.

Sounds like OP should move back to DC if you don't like it.

op here...umm, I never said I didn't like it here, did I? Defensive? I asked about whether these activities were in fact more popular down here than they are in the northern states. BTW, as a native of Michigan, we LOVED hockey. We are in N. TX. Yes, the people are lovely-very nice. And blond. have a good day.

[Anonymous]

I am from New Orleans. Cheerleading would never have been considered proper in that time and place, but I don't know about now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This whole thread is so freaking obnoxious. I saw the title and clicked and was expecting such topics as:

- People in the South are friendly. They always wave.
- People in the South seem to truly care about my family. They stop and ask about my kids.
- People in the South have a more laid back lifestyle than in the Northeast.
- People in the South seem to be more interested in life than work.
- People in the South are less focused on how much money they make and more on the quality of their friendships.

I have seen as many pageants in other parts of the country as I have in the South. Jon Benet, for your information, was from COLORADO, which is NOT in the South. There is a REASON why so many people are moving to the South. Good quality of life, less stressful lifestyle, friendlier neighborhoods, friendly people, better weather.

You don't have to join cheerleading if you are a girl in the South and you don't have to join football if you are a boy.

Sounds like OP should move back to DC if you don't like it.

op here...umm, I never said I didn't like it here, did I? Defensive? I asked about whether these activities were in fact more popular down here than they are in the northern states. BTW, as a native of Michigan, we LOVED hockey. We are in N. TX. Yes, the people are lovely-very nice. And blond. have a good day.

I'm not the PP. I think she was defensive because some of the posts started to veer toward bigotry. (Book-lurnin'? Lookin' purty?) After some time in DC, you start to get a pretty thin skin about this stuff.

I've been here for 15 years, and I find the perceptions of Southerners here to be overwhelmingly negative. People who consider themselves well-educated and who are well-traveled are often more prejudiced than the so-called Southern bigots that they disdain. I'm often expected to explain and defend my state's heritage and history. Usually in response to some bizarre question or challenge. It happens at work, at the bank, at baby showers...

Other times, I get these weird kind of backwards compliments. Like, "oh, you don't seem like you're from state x .... you're so educated and nice." Or, "you seem so classy, I thought you were from Connecticut"!! I am not making this up.

I put it down to this. Many of the people who have moved to DC feel like they've really made it. But scratch the surface, and they're pretty insecure about their own backgrounds. So, they need someone to look down on. The South is very handy in that regard. But to express their sentiments so directly to my face? Down home, we call that poor manners.

That's a long explanation for why the PP may have spoken up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This whole thread is so freaking obnoxious. I saw the title and clicked and was expecting such topics as:

- People in the South are friendly. They always wave.
- People in the South seem to truly care about my family. They stop and ask about my kids.
- People in the South have a more laid back lifestyle than in the Northeast.
- People in the South seem to be more interested in life than work.
- People in the South are less focused on how much money they make and more on the quality of their friendships.

I have seen as many pageants in other parts of the country as I have in the South. Jon Benet, for your information, was from COLORADO, which is NOT in the South. There is a REASON why so many people are moving to the South. Good quality of life, less stressful lifestyle, friendlier neighborhoods, friendly people, better weather.

You don't have to join cheerleading if you are a girl in the South and you don't have to join football if you are a boy.

Sounds like OP should move back to DC if you don't like it.

op here...umm, I never said I didn't like it here, did I? Defensive? I asked about whether these activities were in fact more popular down here than they are in the northern states. BTW, as a native of Michigan, we LOVED hockey. We are in N. TX. Yes, the people are lovely-very nice. And blond. have a good day.

I'm not the PP. I think she was defensive because some of the posts started to veer toward bigotry. (Book-lurnin'? Lookin' purty?) After some time in DC, you start to get a pretty thin skin about this stuff.

I've been here for 15 years, and I find the perceptions of Southerners here to be overwhelmingly negative. People who consider themselves well-educated and who are well-traveled are often more prejudiced than the so-called Southern bigots that they disdain. I'm often expected to explain and defend my state's heritage and history. Usually in response to some bizarre question or challenge. It happens at work, at the bank, at baby showers...

Other times, I get these weird kind of backwards compliments. Like, "oh, you don't seem like you're from state x .... you're so educated and nice." Or, "you seem so classy, I thought you were from Connecticut"!! I am not making this up.

I put it down to this. Many of the people who have moved to DC feel like they've really made it. But scratch the surface, and they're pretty insecure about their own backgrounds. So, they need someone to look down on. The South is very handy in that regard. But to express their sentiments so directly to my face? Down home, we call that poor manners.

That's a long explanation for why the PP may have spoken up.

You are right on. I find it's people from working class/humble backgrounds that get the bad ignorant attitued. Maybe they are embarrassed that they came from regular folk.

I even know someone from Iowa that developed the most peculiar sounding English accent. She is extremely condesending of most people and groups she knows absolutly nothing about.

[Anonymous]

Thank you for speaking up Southerners! I posted about how we've been spending lots of time in Florida, and our drives from FL back North to DC have been so eye opening. I'm really enjoying learning more about the South, the history, people, climate, lifestyle, it's very new for me as I grew up in New England. I think the warmth of the people, slower pace of living, emphasis on what you DO for fun instead of just profession and pedigree is refreshing! I'm still trying to keep an open mind about the history of the South as I know my view is a very Northern perspective. I'm white and my husband (who is black) is the one who told me "it's good to see you challenging your stereotypes about Southerners"...lots ot learn and a reminder to stay humble and put yourself in others shoes!

[Anonymous]

OP: Sounds to me like you have some great opportunities living in the south with your boys. They can play lacrosse and actually make a team and participate. There are lots of advantages to the cultural differences.

[Anonymous]

I remember a co-worker who went on a long road-trip that took him through the South. When he got back, he said "I don't get it. What do people DO there?"

The point is that there is a lot less to "do" in the way that Washingtonians think of it. When we lived there, we made wonderful life-long friends so easily. We loved it that our friends were in our house almost every day of the week, and we were in theirs. Entertaining is what southerners do (and why they're so good at it) and it really reinforces the sense of friendship.

When we moved back here, I had to steel myself for the first dinner party. True to form, it was dominated by the two most aggressive lawyers in the room debating over something they didn't really care about -- just wanting to prove who was better at advocating a position.

I loved living in the south because people talk about their lives. They tell wonderful anecdotes about growing up, etc. History and literature factor in the dinnertime discussions much more than in this one-company town.

It was certainly an adjustment slowing ourselves down. But I am certainly a better person for it.

Sorry that this doesn't related directly to the OP's question. But in a way, it does. Children are the focus much more than work. The pageant stuff is tedious, but there are plenty of Southern women who scoff at it also. And there is undoubtedly a larg number of other kid-type activities for you to choose from.

Or don't. Let your kids have the kind of unstructured childhood that is nigh impossible around here. Growing up with some freedom gives a child a wonderful sense of confidence and independence.

[Anonymous]

Right on, 16:43. And ditto for the Great Plains, where I am from, and which is an endless source of amazement and occasional derision from many a Washingtonian.

I just let these people believe that I drove a tractor to my one-room schoolhouse, barefoot, because they seem to want to believe that and it seems comforting somehow.

[Anonymous]

Thanks 0:09 and 9:16. I was the poster who was annoyed about the way things were going with the Southern comments. I had not commented further, because I was a bit sad to see the comments in this thread. My family (from the South) always comment that people in DC can be snobs, which I always defend. Some of the prior posters really were not helping my defense much!

I am from the South, although I have lived in various parts of the U.S. and overseas and have traveled extensively personally and professionally. I generally have found that there are ignorant, rude people everywhere and there are kind people everywhere. Part of what I found to help when I lived in new places was to stop and try to understand and appreciate local customs. I think a lot of people are more likely to do this when they are overseas, but we have regional/local customs here in the U.S., too! It is more fun to learn about new things and meet new people than it is to criticize or laugh at people who are different than ourselves. I find meeting and learning about other people is the way I personally grow the most.

OP - I hope that you enjoy this new experience and meet some nice people where you are living. Southerners are generally pretty friendly. There are much smaller towns in the South, so there is also more of a sense of small town community, that I find refreshing.

[Anonymous]

Both my father and my husband are from the South, so I've spent a good deal of time there.
Agree that folks are much friendlier.
One negative that I've noticed, however, is that, particularly in smaller cities,
there is a very clear class system with lines (gender and racial) that don't get crossed.
When we return to my husband's hometown (a city <100K), I feel like the civil rights and women's movements never happened.
Women are women, men are men, Blacks are the hired help. And while folks are friendlier, I'm not sure they're actually NICER -- if that makes any sense.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in the South with Northern parents. I lived in Tennessee and North Carolina for my first 25 years, then moved to big East Coast cities for the next 10 years. I can honestly say that I never in my life encountered overt racism and strict class/socio-economic divisions until I moved North. And I work in an intellectual field with other (supposedly) highly-educated and cosmopolitan people.

To those many ignorant and bigoted Northerners who look down on the South, I say "good riddance." I hope they all stay up here so that the South can remain the warm, friendly, quirky, work-to-live place I grew up. I can't wait to move back!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I put it down to this. Many of the people who have moved to DC feel like they've really made it. But scratch the surface, and they're pretty insecure about their own backgrounds. So, they need someone to look down on. The South is very handy in that regard. But to express their sentiments so directly to my face? Down home, we call that poor manners.

Sad to say, I don't think it's because people who have moved to DC are insecure about their backgrounds. I think this bigotry is more widespread than that. I'm a white leftist and I continue to be disturbed at the way that white liberals and leftists think it's okay to say condescending things about southern rural white people that they would never say about people of color. It's quite contemptible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ha ha, in the South we call LAX "field hockey" and we hate playing it!!

Actually LAX and field hockey are 2 different sports. Field Hockey is another northern thing. Ice Hockey is big in the Great Lakes states too.

Ex-field hockey player here who grew up in the North. Actually when I lived in Fredericksburg in the 90s, I was surprised at how big field hockey was in Virginia at the high school and college level and in the Middle Atlantic generally. UVA and James Madison had top-ranked teams. ODU, too, I think. And I used to attend Mary Washington games regularly.

I had assumed it was because Virginia drew so many of its earliest immigrants from Great Britain (which I figured it explained that accent which sounds Canadian with a touch of the mountains in it) so that field hockey found fertile ground here. Is this a more recent thing then?

[Anonymous]

Agreed that the South can be great. My parents are from there (well, so I am--we moved to DC when I was in kindergarten) and so is my husband. I have spent a lot of my life there and I agree with all of the positive things listed in this post. So why not live there? Here it is, the #1 reason...it is way too churchy! Even if you have a social group that is not religious, in many places, the constant in-your-face Christianity is just too much. The lack of religiosity is one of the things I love about DC. But I do love to visit...