Academic stress among DMV area students

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am half east Asian.

It's laughable how American parents in the DC region think that they have it tough in terms of academic expectations. This is nothing. Or, let's put it another way, it's a great work-life balance for kids. I am sure there are pockets of extreme pushy parenting in all the cosmopolitan hubs of the USA, but in general, I would not say the DC area as a whole is very pushy. I live in Bethesda, MD, in an area that has wealth, educated parents and good public schools, ie, all the ingredients for parents to be pushy if they want!

I consider myself a mildly Tigerish Parent in that I do push my kids to do their best academically, but my expectations are realistic. I have one child with special needs, and one who is gifted. They are both encouraged to work hard, but I praise the effort, not the achievements.

Me again. Adding that I pay for tutors, test prep, etc, and help my kids prioritize their education. I don't pay for private college counseling - I feel I can do a better job. So I am super involved and want my kids to reach their potential, whatever it is. But to me this is normal, and not a sign of the end times

Again, we are not living in a country where kids have no life, and go straight to private prep school after their legally-required day school, where they study until 11pm. We don't stress over our 10 year old's entrance exam to a prep school that will prepare them for the entrance exam to the real prep school, who prepares them for the end of high school/college exams. We don't live in a country that had to make a law that prep schools need to close at 11pm and that Kindergartners are not allowed to attend in the late evening.

And yet, people wonder why companies hire experts from these countries on work visas? They are more competent than Americans. They've gone through a wringer system unlike anything in the US.

If you think about the long-term direction of this country... you've got to put in the work somehow to stay competitive.

Agree completely

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am half east Asian.

It's laughable how American parents in the DC region think that they have it tough in terms of academic expectations. This is nothing. Or, let's put it another way, it's a great work-life balance for kids. I am sure there are pockets of extreme pushy parenting in all the cosmopolitan hubs of the USA, but in general, I would not say the DC area as a whole is very pushy. I live in Bethesda, MD, in an area that has wealth, educated parents and good public schools, ie, all the ingredients for parents to be pushy if they want!

I consider myself a mildly Tigerish Parent in that I do push my kids to do their best academically, but my expectations are realistic. I have one child with special needs, and one who is gifted. They are both encouraged to work hard, but I praise the effort, not the achievements.

Me again. Adding that I pay for tutors, test prep, etc, and help my kids prioritize their education. I don't pay for private college counseling - I feel I can do a better job. So I am super involved and want my kids to reach their potential, whatever it is. But to me this is normal, and not a sign of the end times

Again, we are not living in a country where kids have no life, and go straight to private prep school after their legally-required day school, where they study until 11pm. We don't stress over our 10 year old's entrance exam to a prep school that will prepare them for the entrance exam to the real prep school, who prepares them for the end of high school/college exams. We don't live in a country that had to make a law that prep schools need to close at 11pm and that Kindergartners are not allowed to attend in the late evening.

And yet, people wonder why companies hire experts from these countries on work visas? They are more competent than Americans. They've gone through a wringer system unlike anything in the US.

If you think about the long-term direction of this country... you've got to put in the work somehow to stay competitive.

I'm not sure if you are trolling or just up your own self so much you aren't actually aware of what is happening around you. Kindergarteners studying until 11pm is not evidence of superiority. It’s evidence of a system that became so unhealthy the government had to regulate children’s bedtime.

Also, by your own description, the DC area is comparatively balanced — so I’m not sure why you’re framing this thread like Americans are collapsing into intellectual ruin or saying it is laughable because some parents think hyperventilating children are concerning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes DMV parents will try by throwing money at the problem but that's not really parenting. SF/NY parents are tutoring after the tutors. They run the sports drill after the private coaches. The kids go to special tennis and golf boarding schools. They're another level.

DC parents, most of the ones I’ve encountered, are too busy with their own lives/superstar careers. Real tiger parents put in the hours. Their own lives/careers are nothing compared to their kids. Not saying either is right/wrong, both can be super unhealthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At our Big 3, students are high achieving and driven but not as toxic in the way you describe. Overt competition is looked down upon. More of a you do you vibe.

On the other hand, went to a quiz bowl competition at a top suburban school and couldn't believe when I saw it on full display. A huge turnoff to my kid who was also experiencing this for the first time.

GDS?

Yep- GDS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my experience it’s weak sauce here compared to NY/NJ and CA. My impression of DC parents is while they have lofty expectations for their kids and willing to shell out the $, a lot of the academic pressure is actually coming from the kids themselves and their peers (filtered down, of course, from parent expectations). I haven’t met a lot of “tiger parents” putting in the real Tiger parent work, at least not compared to those other states. (And I would describe myself as a weak sauce tiger parent, lol). FWIW we don’t live in a W district and not TJ territory, so it might be different out there in NoVa, I don’t know.
But yes, it’s a problem everywhere.

*we do live

lol, this correction is not giving weak sauce tiger parent…you know it screams strong spicy tiger parent sauce!

[Anonymous]

Student stress is real here, but not at the same high stress level as NYC or Silicon Valley.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At our Big 3, students are high achieving and driven but not as toxic in the way you describe. Overt competition is looked down upon. More of a you do you vibe.

On the other hand, went to a quiz bowl competition at a top suburban school and couldn't believe when I saw it on full display. A huge turnoff to my kid who was also experiencing this for the first time.

GDS?

Lol I thought so, but also I would say less of a vibe and more of a core pillar of their belief system 🤣

Yep- GDS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:During AP Exam season, a crowd of kids gathers outside the Rockville Library before it opens to grab spots. It’s intense.

Sad

I rather the above than those people who wake up at 5am to claim their chairs at the resort pool. Put their towels down and then leave.

At least these kids are studying!

I would put the towels on the beach instead of the pool? Why travel all the way to fight for a pool I could have gone to in my neighborhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:During AP Exam season, a crowd of kids gathers outside the Rockville Library before it opens to grab spots. It’s intense.

Sad

I rather the above than those people who wake up at 5am to claim their chairs at the resort pool. Put their towels down and then leave.

At least these kids are studying!

I would put the towels on the beach instead of the pool? Why travel all the way to fight for a pool I could have gone to in my neighborhood.

Why are you all vacationing in such crowded places??? If the pool or beach is so busy I have to wake up early to claim as space, everything is going to be exhausting!

[Anonymous]

There had been a string of suicides at our NoVA public high school when we moved here in 2017. Thankfully I haven’t heard of any in the past few years.

My kids are at a NoVA diocesan Catholic high school now and while there are definitely kids with quirks and kids who study hard, the academic pressure seems pretty reasonable and I don’t see that sort of outsized stress on the kids. It’s a supportive environment.

[Anonymous]

It is less pressure in my opinion than NY and CA. I’m from NYC and NYC has a ton of talent. So does CA.

My kid did study a ton for his AP exams and is a straight A student. No pressure from us. He is taking all APs junior and senior year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:During AP Exam season, a crowd of kids gathers outside the Rockville Library before it opens to grab spots. It’s intense.

Sad

Why? Bc they can’t afford more exPensive places? Or bc we need bigger libraries?