San Diego vs NoVA (McLean, Vienna) for raising children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NOVA has lots of pros- but Langley and McLean areas aren’t
very “family neighborhoody” if that makes sense.

[OP] Thanks! Curious, what do you think makes Langley and McLean areas not so family friendly?

There are lots of kids in these areas, but what PP probably means is that kids' activities tend to be scheduled so there aren't bands of roving kids just looking to hang out and play with each other.

In terms of population, the Langley/McLean neighborhoods (and the Vienna neighborhoods as well, thought to a slightly lesser extent) tends to have lots of kids, few young adults in their 20s and early 30s, and lots of adults from their late 30s on, including a large older population.

There are more private schools in DC and Montgomery County, so unless you're looking at VA for commuting reasons or with an eye towards state universities, someone who knows they are going to send their kids to private schools might be better served looking there than in NoVa. If you are looking in NoVa, McLean is better than Vienna, both because it has a stronger private school (Potomac) but also because it's easier to get to DC and Maryland.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are from the east coast (New England) but lived in SD for almost a decade before kids. Kids were born in SD and we moved to NOVA when they were 3 and 5. As much as we loved living in SD when the kids were younger, I prefer raising my kids in NOVA as it more similar to my upbringing in NE. SD is too laid back The school in SD were not that great from what I recall people saying but we left before my kids started. Most native Californians don't seem to value education as much as east coasters do, but again my experience is over a decade old at this point. I would consider moving back once the kids re grown and flown and education isn't a concern.

Agree. Source-my nephews and nieces attend schools there.

[Anonymous]

I have a good friend from San Diego/Southern California. She has two daughters and said the DMV is far less obsessed with looks and it is a better environment to raise girls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a good friend from San Diego/Southern California. She has two daughters and said the DMV is far less obsessed with looks and it is a better environment to raise girls.

My experience has been the opposite. From kids to teens to adults, CA has the most superficial people. Even worse than NYC.

[Anonymous]

As others have said, the majority of independent private schools are in NW DC and then close over the border in Maryland (Bethesda, Chevy Chase, Potomac).

Most in McLean go to public school. There is Potomac, but it’s not really an area where you move for private school.

The DMV has an intensity probably only rivaled by NYC. Even then, it’s different. DC is where all the most competitive student strivers from around the country find themselves. It’s both wonderful and stressful.

I’m in the Chicago area now, and it’s SO laid back by comparison. Sometimes I enjoy it annd other times I miss the heat. No one is questioning the quality of the school lunch or angling for admission to top universities abroad.

If you move to the DMV prepare to enroll your children in RSM and AoPS, join travel teams, ensure that they will be bilingual, travel extensively, and start organizing opportunities for published scientific research by high school. Welcome

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a good friend from San Diego/Southern California. She has two daughters and said the DMV is far less obsessed with looks and it is a better environment to raise girls.

My experience has been the opposite. From kids to teens to adults, CA has the most superficial people. Even worse than NYC.

Did you learn to read in Mississippi?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are from the east coast (New England) but lived in SD for almost a decade before kids. Kids were born in SD and we moved to NOVA when they were 3 and 5. As much as we loved living in SD when the kids were younger, I prefer raising my kids in NOVA as it more similar to my upbringing in NE. SD is too laid back The school in SD were not that great from what I recall people saying but we left before my kids started. Most native Californians don't seem to value education as much as east coasters do, but again my experience is over a decade old at this point. I would consider moving back once the kids re grown and flown and education isn't a concern.

Thanks! In SD did your kids attend public or private school? Where in the SD area were you- SD or suburbs?

Neither - we moved before they started school. We would have done private if we stayed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are from the east coast (New England) but lived in SD for almost a decade before kids. Kids were born in SD and we moved to NOVA when they were 3 and 5. As much as we loved living in SD when the kids were younger, I prefer raising my kids in NOVA as it more similar to my upbringing in NE. SD is too laid back The school in SD were not that great from what I recall people saying but we left before my kids started. Most native Californians don't seem to value education as much as east coasters do, but again my experience is over a decade old at this point. I would consider moving back once the kids re grown and flown and education isn't a concern.

Thanks! In SD did your kids attend public or private school? Where in the SD area were you- SD or suburbs?

Neither - we moved before they started school. We would have done private if we stayed.

We were in SD but not downtown.

[Anonymous]

Another native of San Diego who has raised the kids in NOVA. Nova all the way. I skimmed some of the post - you mentioned private schools. Our kids have done private for the last 6 years and nothing compares to the options we have here around DC. We have near perfect fits for each kid.
When the kids were little we spent countless hours on the Mall, at the Smithsonians, Building Museum, festivals, Cherry Blossoms. We would often drive and park nearly effortlessly or take the metro for an adventure. San Diego is great to visit. The kids used to ask to live there when they were little but once they got a little older they both said I'm so glad we live here.
Weather people swear by San Diego, but to be honest they have no idea what they are missing.
I have siblings in SD who raised their kids there and the ubiquity of the dispensaries made smoking a serious issue for a couple of the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you lived outside of San Diego/Southern California before? It is culture and weather shock if you haven’t. I’ve been here 20 years and still hibernate in the winter/don’t go outside in July/August if I can help it. The first few years I had to go on SSRIs to help with the seasonal depression I didn’t know I had until I moved somewhere with dreary winters. I’m sure to people who grew up with seasons that sounds pathetic, but it was my reality!

My experience is public schools, so maybe not apples to apples. It is definitely striver culture compared to SoCal. If you aren’t playing travel sports by age 9 or 10, you aren’t making the high school team. If you aren’t accelerated multiple years in math, you’re behind. The high schools stopped doing valedictorians because suicide rates were too high.

But it’s cheap comparatively. We can afford a house here more easily than in California. I am encouraging our kids to go to college back on the west coast though, so we may eat any savings.

+1. Everything you said. I have lived in SoCal And I have lived on the East Coast. Despite everything wrong with California, the sunshine brings abundant happiness.

May gloom and June doom are real.

It's still 60+ degrees even in the most overcast or dreariest of June weeks, and it nearly always burns off mid day. No comparison to months on end of cold, rainy weather.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another native of San Diego who has raised the kids in NOVA. Nova all the way. I skimmed some of the post - you mentioned private schools. Our kids have done private for the last 6 years and nothing compares to the options we have here around DC. We have near perfect fits for each kid.
When the kids were little we spent countless hours on the Mall, at the Smithsonians, Building Museum, festivals, Cherry Blossoms. We would often drive and park nearly effortlessly or take the metro for an adventure. San Diego is great to visit. The kids used to ask to live there when they were little but once they got a little older they both said I'm so glad we live here.
Weather people swear by San Diego, but to be honest they have no idea what they are missing.
I have siblings in SD who raised their kids there and the ubiquity of the dispensaries made smoking a serious issue for a couple of the kids.

[OP] Thanks for the insights! I definitely think the Smithsonians are pros and it’s good to hear that parking is not too much of a pain. Curious- did you not find DC weather that bad? It’s hard for me to tolerate humidity and I’ve heard of how humid and hot the summers there are. Are the cultural attractions and school quality good enough to outweigh the weather there?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another native of San Diego who has raised the kids in NOVA. Nova all the way. I skimmed some of the post - you mentioned private schools. Our kids have done private for the last 6 years and nothing compares to the options we have here around DC. We have near perfect fits for each kid.
When the kids were little we spent countless hours on the Mall, at the Smithsonians, Building Museum, festivals, Cherry Blossoms. We would often drive and park nearly effortlessly or take the metro for an adventure. San Diego is great to visit. The kids used to ask to live there when they were little but once they got a little older they both said I'm so glad we live here.
Weather people swear by San Diego, but to be honest they have no idea what they are missing.
I have siblings in SD who raised their kids there and the ubiquity of the dispensaries made smoking a serious issue for a couple of the kids.

[OP again] May I ask where in Nova you live where you feel the private school options have been good? Did you try private schools in the SD area as well?

[Anonymous]

Dc summers are very very humid, you cope by joining a pool, though in Vienna or mclean some waitlists are long

[Anonymous]

Swim clubs are big in the DMV. My favorite had gas grills and we would hangout at the pool and eat dinner there most nights all summer. This is how we handled the heat and humidity.

Find a few swim clubs in the area you are targeting and get on the waitlist now. Some wait times are years! Some are more available, but it’s better to be proactive!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Having lived in both places (but I don’t have kids) the people in DC/NOVA are so much more educated and interesting. I found San Diegoans to be quite dull. They were very into the beach and the California laid back lifestyle, and that was about it. In DC there are so many interesting people who have done super interesting things in their lives. The city has a more global/international feel to it. That being said, I would kill for some San Diego fish tacos. Nothing comes close here in NOVA.

NP. Also born and raised in So. California, and happily moved to McLean. Everything the PP above said is true. Ask any Southern Californian about their library. They don't have one because they don't read books. FWIW, I will never return to CA because of all the horrors that years of liberal administrations have wrought upon the state. All of my "thinking" friends have already left for Texas or Florida. All of my relatives want to leave, but can't for personal real estate reasons. Give me McLean any day. You might meet people whose brains function. All thinking is gone in So. California.